


The Flower Shop

by OliveTreee



Series: The Flower Shop [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Violence, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Past Relationship(s), Psychological Trauma, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 157,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24254464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveTreee/pseuds/OliveTreee
Summary: The only flowers that grew in Sunagakure were that of the desert. True, they were beautiful, but they were the only flowers the village really ever saw. Vivid, colorful blooms were not common- not until Sunagakure's first flower shop opened for business.
Relationships: Gaara (Naruto)/Original Female Character(s), Uzumaki Naruto/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Flower Shop [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105682
Comments: 145
Kudos: 225





	1. A New Life

**Author's Note:**

> Before we get this started, I wanted to apologize in advanced if someone is out of character or some facts are not correct. I have not watched Naruto in a very long time, so bare with me. I've missed the fandom so much, and decided to try my hand at it one last time. I'm not sure how well it will go with my writing style, but fingers crossed!
> 
> I originally published is in 2016 on Wattpad under the username nobodyXthere! I am the original author of this work so if you've seen this on Wattpad too, please know it is still me publishing it! 
> 
> Also, please not that the first three chapters were written in 2016! I will put a note at the beginning of the chapter to remind you, but just know if its off to a rough start, that's why. I've edited them a bit but just a heads up when the writing style changes. 
> 
> I do not own Naruto or any of the characters besides Momoko.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was in the early spring that the last of her family had passed. He died peacefully in her arms, his fur still soft and warm as his breathing came to a gentle stop. They had been sitting on the porch, and the old cat curled up on her lap for the last time. She knew it would be soon, and so when she felt her friend grow still beneath her fingers, she could only give a sad smile and pray that his spirit was taken into the heavens with open arms. Her childhood companion was buried beside her parents, who had passed when she was 18 due to disease. As they wished, she had buried them together beneath the cherry blossom tree where they had met. Now her family was gone, and Konoha held nothing more for her.

It was the late fall when she decided that it was time to leave the place she had so long called home. Months of packing, of planning and filling every moment she could with the friends she had made and people she had loved, Momoko decided to begin her own life outside of the walls of the Leaf Village. She did not hate it here, she felt that in her heart she never could. This was her home, and always would be. Perhaps she would return one day, or maybe this really was the final goodbye. Whatever it was, she was glad to call Konoha her home for 19 years of her life.

Friends met her at the gate, most of which would stay, few of which would escort her to her new home. Momoko had lived a peaceful life, forgoing the training and the hardships that a shinobi faced. Instead, she lived her life in the peace and quiet of her family's flower shop, the second in the village next to the Yamanaka's. She spent her days among the flowers, and for that reason, she knew little to nothing in the ways of violence and jutsus. No, she was a simple person, with nothing but a happy smile to give others.

"Are you sure you have to leave?" Sakura asked once again, watching as Kiba closed the door on the wagon, "You could always stay with me, I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind."

This had gone on for days now. Offering her a home, more companionship, anything it took to make her stay. They knew she was not leaving out of spite, but they still tried.

"Thank you, Sakura, but you know as well as I do that... that this is good for me." Momoko said, a smile on her lips. It felt almost empowering to say those words. This was going to be good for her. A new start, a new place to write her own story and really begin her life. They knew it too- if anyone deserved to spread their wings, it was she.

"I know but...promise me you'll come back? Or send letters? Why not both?" Sakura said again, holding Momoko's gentle hands in her strong ones. Beside her, Ino nodded in agreement.

"You can come stay with me when you're here! You know there's plenty of room for you!" The blonde said, offering a wide smile to the girl, which was returned within seconds.

"I'll come back once a month anyway," Momoko said with a small smile, looking between the two, "I have to restock somehow."

She was taking little with her. Money, clothing, pictures, but she couldn't leave behind one specific part of her life here. The flowers didn't grow in the sand, and so she was sure they had never really witnessed the beauty of them before. The covered wagon held her suitcase, of course, but also hundreds of flowers from the shop here in Konoha. She could leave behind her home, but she couldn't leave behind the flowers that had bloomed in her life.

"Promise? You can even come back twice a month, maybe three times!" Sakura said again, a little more urgent now that Kiba and Lee had finished putting her things away and getting the wagon ready.

It was almost as hard for Momoko as it was for her. Sakura had been her dearest friend her whole life. When she wanted to talk about Sasuke, or complain about Naruto, or boast about a mission, Momoko was right there. Yes, Momoko talked to the other girls of the village, but Sakura was the one she had held dearest to her heart. But Sakura had a life now, her career goals and aspirations as a shinobi were all starting to become a reality. The plan of her life became clearer; Momoko wanted that for herself.

It was a little chilly in Konoha, the breeze didn't roll as warmly as it had before in the warmer in the months. She wore a long cloak now, clean, white fur lining the hood of the pale blue covering. It was the warmest thing she had, but underneath it she wore much cooler clothing. When they neared the desert, the heat would increase, and the cloak would be needed no longer. She had to buy new clothing to fit the climate of her new home. Konoha wasn't too hot, but Sunakagure was. It would be a drastic change, but that was exactly what she was looking for. 

"We're ready when you are, Momoko!" Kiba called, Akamaru giving a happy bark beside him. She turned to them, raising a hand with a smile before she looked back to Sakura. Tears had welled up in the other's eyes, and Ino had turned away to hide her own.

"Ohh, come on guys, I'm going to be back before you know it!" Momoko said, trying to keep the mood light. She didn't want to leave to tears. No, she wanted to be waved off by the same smiles that were painted across her life.

Sakura sniffled but nodded, rubbing at her eyes with a weak smile, "You're right, I'm sorry..I-Its just hard, you know?"

Momoko then gave her a small, almost sad smile and stood on her toes to wrap her arms around Sakura. The other, despite having wiped her tears away, gave a soft whimper as she held onto her dear friend, hugging her as though this was the last time they were to ever meet. Momoko felt tears of her own begin to wet her eyes, and she buried her face into Sakura as she held her tight. It was going to be hard for them both, and it would take time to get used to a life without Sakura at her doorstep every morning.

"Thank goodness, I didn't think I'd see you in time!" Came a voice from behind them, causing them to pull away from their embrace and look.

There stood Naruto, smiling at them brightly as though this day was just as bright as any other. She gave a wide smile, glad to see him here in her last moments as a Leaf villager. Sakura let her go so that Momoko could be taken into Naruto's arms. She held him tight, burying her face into his chest as she hugged him. Naruto chuckled softly, though it lacked it's usual carefree tone as he held her close to him.

"So you really are going then, huh?" He said softly, still smiling as he closed his eyes.

"You'll see me again," She said softly, not quite ready to step from the embrace.

"We both know that's not the same.." He said, softer this time, "It's going to be a lot different around here without you, Momo."

She didn't respond, didn't feel as though he had expected an answer. Instead, she just held him for these last few moments they had together. Sakura watched on, silent despite her desire to pound the shinobi's face in for showing up at the last possible moment. Naruto needed this goodbye, to reassure his mind and heart that their story really had come to an end. Soon she would leave, and she'd take a piece of his heart with her.

Never being one to remain somber for too long, Naruto pulled away, a wide smile on his lips despite the ache that began to form in his heart, "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for, Momo! And if all else fails, you've always got us to come home to!"

Momoko looked from his bright eyes to the other's that were there. Sakura, with her tender smile, Ino, TenTen, even Kakashi stood a ways away. She looked over each of them, remembering their moments, their lives and how they had forever intertwined in her own. This was not goodbye, for they knew there was no such thing as a true goodbye. Momoko looked past them, to the carved faces in the mountains, the leaves that danced in the wind, and felt a smile on her lips.

She was ready for a new life.


	2. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in 2016! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

The trip to Sunakagure had been long, and not to mention hot. Momoko had never been outside of Konoha, and though she expected intense heat, she didn't think it would be like this. Traveling in the late fall had been a good idea though, for the sun didn't beat down as hot on their shoulders as it may have before. When the forests had turned to sand, and the cold breeze warmed again, they had removed their cloaks and gone on. Eventually, she had pulled her pale blonde hair back into a high pony tail, just to keep it off of her neck and out of her face as they traveled. The heat made the days long, and since she hadn't the energy or experience with traveling for long distances, they had to rest often so she could regain the strength to go on again.

After three long and hot days, the large walls of the village finally came into view. She checked on the wagon often, seeing that the flowers were struggling a bit, but still making it. By the time she got them set up, some would be withered, but most would make it just fine. When they finally grew within sight, Momoko had given a wide smile to the three shinobi that had helped her here. It was kind of them to go out of their way, she had thanked them every chance she possibly could.

"There it is, Momoko!" Lee said, loudly and happily as he put an arm around her shoulders, "Sunakagure is such a glorious place! Filled with youthful citizens and-!"

"Oh, will you shut up already?" Kiba snapped at him, obviously not irritated with just this one rant about youth and what not, "On and on, the past six days have been nothing but you talking about how youthful everything is!"

"That is only because there is youth in everything!" Lee said, turning to Kiba with a large thumbs up, "Even you, Kiba!"

With a small laugh, Momoko interfered, "Come on guys, we're so close. Don't start arguing now, ok? Save that for after I'm gone."

With a little huff, Kiba crossed his arms and pouted, Akamaru giving a little grunt at his side. Still though, neither seemed to complain again after that, which brought a smile to her lips as she turned to look back at the walls that towered just a mile before them. She had paused, taking it in, breathing in the dry air around them. This..this was home. Momoko felt her heart swell at the thought, excited for the future, for the life she would live here and the people she would meet. This was a new beginning, a new seed to plant and a new garden to tend. She was ready...even though she had yet to step foot past the gate, her heart already began to make a large place for Sunakagure. No, not Sunakagure...for home.

The guards at the gate had stopped them to ask their purpose and to see their papers. Momoko did most of the talking, showing them the residency papers that had arrived just days before. She had applied months ago, and after many background checks, she was finally striped of her Konoha citizenship and accepted into Sunakagure. Not as shinobi, but as a regular civilian who wanted nothing more than a new place to call home. They soon cleared them, and with a light heart and a smile, Momoko stepped through the gate for the first time.

"I didn't think it would be so big..." She marveled, looking around with wide, pale blue eyes as she took it all in. The people didn't smile, but they didn't seem too hostile either. Who knew? There were people in Konoha that looked as though they would kill in a moment, but they turned out to be some of the sweetest people that had ever walked through the doors of her family's flower shop. Instead of recoiling from the solid looks and the blank stares, Momoko smiled at those who's eyes met her, and she walked along the streets as though they were as familiar as the veins in her body.

"Suna is way bigger than Konoha," Kiba said, his hands in his pockets as he walked in pace with her, "Konoha's just got the forests and shit, and Suna's got...well, sand."

Momoko snickered softly at that. Yes, there was sand indeed.

"Alright, Momoko, where are we heading?" Lee called from the wagon, which he had almost effortlessly been wheeling around for the past mile or so.

In reply to his question, she pulled out the paper in which she had the address and location of her new home scribbled down on.

"It's in the market place," She said, looking back to him, "Right above the shop." Of course, it wasn't really a shop yet, but that was only because she had yet to get permission to open a business in Sunakagure. All the houses and buildings looked the same, but it was obvious that there were no two alike. It was appealing to the eye, that was for sure. Though, it wouldn't have hurt to add some color, some unique structure, something to make sure it all didn't bleed together. Still, she couldn't find one true complaint in her mind, so instead she continued to lead them through with a map in hand and a smile on her lips.

The market place was a large, open square. There were vendors and booths set up between stores and around the middle. The stores lines the area, their signs dull and basic in font and color. Dark blues, deep reds, rich golds..that seemed to be the only color scheme that existed here. There were people that went about the shops, children holding their mothers' hand, older women that moved about with bags of goods in their arms. It was quieter than Konoha, but it was still homey in a way that brought another smile to her pink lips.

"Momo, you think this is it?" She heard Kiba call from behind her. The girl turned, her eyes trailing in the direction that he faced.

The building was like the others, but the shop had more windows than most of the others. She could see that there was a large grey door that lead into the shop, and on the other side of the building she could see the beginnings of a railing that went up to the living space above the shop. Momoko walked over, letting her eyes trail up the steps before a smile came to her lips when she read the number on the door.

"Yup, this is it!"

-1 month later-

It didn't take her very long to unpack everything, though she didn't get around to it until a little while after she arrived. Lee and Kiba stayed with her to help her settle in, but that was only for a few days. They had a home to return to and lives to resume, so after a while of switching between the guest room and the sofa, it was time to take their leave. Momoko wasn't as close to them as she had been to Sakura and Naruto, but they were still friends that she had known her whole life. There were tears on all ends, and Momoko watched from the gate until their figures disappeared against the sand. She stayed there for a while, wiping her eyes of the tears, before she turned and headed home.

It was a cozy little place. Not too big, mostly because she didn't really need it to be. Luckily she didn't have to bother with furnishing the place, since she went ahead and spent the extra to buy the furniture as well. It was all dark wood with bland beige fabrics, something that would definitely change soon. The walls held no color, and the floors were clean and plain. There were no decorations, no rugs or curtains- just the necessities. Back in Konoha, her room had been anything but bland, so her new apartment was almost hard to look at. Still though, it would change soon.

The door opened up to a wide living room and an open kitchen was just to the left. From there you would walk into a small dining area, one that was a little more formal since it was shut off by the sliding paper wall. There was a door opposite to the kitchen, to a small bathroom with no shower. On the other side of the sliding paper that divided the dining room was a hallway. There were five doors there, the first on the left being the guest bedroom, and the one next to it begin a spare room for anything she needed. Across from that was a single door that lead to her bedroom and another door inside of there that opened to her own closet and bathroom. The door at the far end of the hall, facing her, was just a small closet.

One of the first things she had done was go shopping for groceries. She didn't eat too much, nor did she eat too little, just even to keep her strong and healthy. She picked up all sorts of foods, most of which she hadn't seen before. If she was going to live here, she needed to get used to the cuisine, right? The woman who owned the grocery store was just across the square, and seemed to be a rather kind woman. Momoko chatted happily with her every time she came through.

The clothes in her cases were unpacked, the dresses hung and shoes laid out neatly in her closet. She didn't bring much from home, but her perfumes and other toiletries were organized in her private bathroom. Momoko had only a few pictures, which were set along her dresser. There was one of her and her cat, she smiling happily while he curled up in her lap, sleeping away peacefully. Another was of her and her parents, back when they were healthy and beaming. She was riding her father's back during a festival, her kimono adored with bright flowers and swirling patterns. Her mother had pulled her hair into a bun and put flowers in between the pale blonde locks. They all smiled, happy, glad to be alive and together. It had been a wonderful night for them...

There were other pictures too, ones with her friends: When Sakura and she had done each other's makeup, when Hinata, Ino, Sakura, and she had a sleepover, other times getting food with Shikamaru and Choji, and one of Naruto. They were laughing, smiles wide, a twinkle in their eyes. They were soaking after Naruto had pushed her into the river, but she had grabbed his sleeve and pulled him in too. It had been so fun...Momoko silently took the frame off of the dresser she set it on and set it face down in the top drawer of her desk.

The empty bags were stored in the hall closet, and it wasn't long before she fell into Suna's rhythm. She had taken the time to do some clothing shopping, figuring that what she found in Konoha wouldn't be as suitable as what she found here. Her wardrobe consisted of pastels, colors she was rather fond of. She often wore dresses, so she took the liberty of adding a few to her wardrobe. The style here wasn't much different from that of Konoha's.

Now, after she had settled in, Momoko began to put together her plan. While they were here, Kiba and Lee had helped her move the flowers into the spare room, where she kept them alive and watered with plenty of sun. Still, despite the care she gave them, she would still need to move into the shop soon...As soon as she was given permission to open up.

She had purchased the space along with the home above, tapping into the small fortune her parents had left her, but that didn't automatically give her permission to start her business here. She would need to get the papers, sign things and go through more background checks, but before any of that, she needed to ask the Kazekage.

Momoko had only really heard about him through the lady at the shop, who she had soon come to know as Sango. She didn't say much, only that he had come a long way and that he wouldn't be too opposed to letting her open shop. Momoko didn't question any further- was there any need to? She probably wouldn't see the Kazekage very often, so she didn't feel the need to press on about the matter. As long as he did his job, Momoko wasn't going to question any more than she should have.

The Kazekage was the one thing running through her head now, that, and the paper that laid in front of her. It was a request to seek an audience with the Kazekage, to ask him permission to open her flower shop here. It wasn't much different from the slips in Konoha, the simple questions like 'What is your request?', or 'What is your reasoning behind this request?'. Simple things like that, and it only took her about ten minutes to complete it.

"Well, Lord Kazekage," She spoke to herself as she stood with the envelope in hand, "Here goes nothing."

A week later, she received word that her request was granted, and that the Kazekage would see her the next morning.


	3. Lord Kazekage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in 2016! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

What did one even wear to meet the Kazekage? Back in Konoha, it wasn't such a huge deal to meet the Hokage- maybe it was the same thing here? Still though, she was new to Sunakagure, and though she would probably never see the Kazekage again, she still wanted to make a good first impression. Especially since she was not a shinobi, there was really nothing to expect from her. She had seen her files before, knowing that they consisted of nothing but the basics, with no criminal records or grand achievements. No, Momoko hadn't any idea what was and wasn't presentable for the leader of her new village.

She pushed aside the dresses in her closet again, going through each one to look it over for a few moments before sweeping it over to look at the next one. They were all pretty, in all sorts of nice colors and styles, but which one should she wear? Sango had made it sound like he was rather kind, so maybe he wouldn't really pay much mind to anything she wore? Well, still, one of the first things someone noticed when they were meeting a new person was their attire. With a little huff, she put her free hand on a hip and inspected the dress that she was faced with now. It was pretty, not too formal and actually rather causal, but still nice. Alright, that would do.

She pulled it from its hanger and stepped back into her bedroom. After slipping out of her nightgown, she put on the dress she had picked and turned to look at herself in the standing mirror. Momoko turned to the right, to the left, around to look over her shoulder- it didn't look bad..A smile spread onto her glossed lips, and she turned to face the mirror again.

It was a lavender colored dress, falling just above her knees. It was a light, airy fabric that would make the day not feel as hot as it was. The top was sleeveless, but did cover her chest and came high on her neck. There was an off-white ribbon wrapped around her waist, making the curve of her hips a little more noticeable. She wasn't very curvy to begin with, but there was enough there to still be appealing to the eye. The ribbon had been tied in a cute little bow behind her.

With the outfit approved of, she stepped closer to the mirror and looked herself over once more. Her makeup was light, the soft brown of her eyeshadow made her eyes pop a bit, and the mascara helped to add that touch of feminine beauty that looked so appealing to the eye. Momoko had curled her hair and pulled it into a ponytail, the pale blonde curls brushing against the middle of her back.

Momoko had worn makeup for as long as she could. She didn't think she was ugly, or that she needed it to look pretty, it was nothing more than a personal preference. It wasn't to attract attention or appeal to the male (or female) eye. She liked the look of colored lips and darkened eyelashes. Ninjas usually didn't wear makeup, she figured it was because they wouldn't want to worry about maintaining it in the middle of combat or a mission. Since she would never do any fighting, she figured, why not?

With another little swipe of lip gloss, Momoko gave her reflection and smile and decided that she was ready to meet the Kazekage. She grabbed her small purse and threw the strap over her shoulder, checking once more to make sure that her citizenship papers were all in order, as well as any other vital documents they may need. Momoko had put aside a separate folder with all of her important papers, which she kept in the lower drawer of her desk. Once everything was situated and in check, Momoko slid into a pair of white sandles and headed for the door.

. . . . .

It was a peaceful morning in Suna. The sun shined bright, just as it had every day before. Children played in the streets with their balls and parents watched from windows and pourches. There were few who walked with bags in hands, chatting happily to the person beside them or merely going about the day content and alone. It was a nice day, a new day...from the Kage tower, all seemed right with the world.

There was a knock at the door, and he turned his eyes away from the window to look towards it.

"Enter."

A moment later, a woman walked in, a clipboard in hand as she walked through. She held the clipboard close to her as she bowed before him.

"Good morning, Lord Kazekage."

She was given a nod in return, his eyes turning back to the window as she looked at her clipboard again and began to list the events of the day. It was the same as it had been the day before, only minor differences and alterations. Gaara didn't notice anything particularly different, his days being so routine that it was almost useless that someone came every morning to speak about it. He was more than capable of finding out for himself, but they had insisted, just in the event that he had accidentally skimmed over something important.

There were hardly any clouds today, but the few that rolled through were small and oddly shaped. When he had been younger, much younger, he had tried to find shapes and objects in them. It had been a game other children would play. They'd lay in the sand, laughing and smiling as they saw the fluffy cats and ships that drifted slowly across the sky. No one had done that with him, so he had done so himself, seeing the things in the clouds that were not there. Now a days, they were nothing more than clouds.

"And you have an appointment with Momoko Akiyama in twenty minutes." She said, drawing his attention from the sky as she laid a file on his desk. Silently, he reached out and took the file, glancing to her before turning his attention to the papers. The young woman was not a shinobi, she was new to Sunakagure and had come here a month ago from Konoha. If it was not a mission or a report, what was her purpose here?

"What is the reason?" He asked, eyes still focused on the paper before they drifted up to the picture of her clipped to the corner.

"A request to open a business, my Lord. She turned in the request two weeks ago." The woman said, offering a smile, which wasn't given a glance as the Kazekage's eyes fixed on the files. After a moment, he silently shut it and laid it one his desk once more.

"Thank you," He said, his pale eyes turning to her as he spoke, "You may go."

She offered him another smile, bowing again before she turned on her heel and left the Kazekage alone again. He watched the door silently for a moment, almost expecting someone to slip through again, but when no one did he turned again to his desk. For a moment, he spared the file another look, opening it and spreading the documents for him to see. There was nothing remotely special about her. No training, no criminal record or instances with the law. Nothing that raised questions; through, the clean files themselves were curious. From the looks of it, she was nothing more than an average young woman.

It wasn't often that someone new moved to Sunakagure, and less common for anyone to want to open a shop. The stores that were here now had been here for a very long time, and if anything new did open, it was a family member of someone who had already owned one. He couldn't find a reason to deny her a request, especially since she had already bought the space. The curiosity he felt was mild, nothing that couldn't be settled with the basic questions he was to ask her. If nothing raised concern, she would get what she desired.

Gaara's eyes drifted once again to her picture. He hadn't spent much time on it while the woman was in there, but now that he was alone, he spared the time to give it a closer look. She definitely didn't look like a shinobi, her skin looked smooth and unharmed by years of training and harsh conditions. If he was seeing correctly, she even wore a hint of makeup in her photo. Her pale blonde hair fell down her shoulders in gentle waves, and her smile brought warmth to the photo, though the photo itself was supposed to be nothing more than a form of identification. She wasn't like anything in Suna, though he figured a little while in the sun and she'd have a bit more color than the soft ivory that was in her photo. Still, color or not, Gaara could not say that she was not pleasing to the eye.

Miss. Akiyama left his mind almost as soon as the file closed in his hands. He set it aside, not sparing it another glance as he returned his attention back to the papers that rested neatly on his desk. Picking up his pen once again, the Kazekage lost himself once more in the words and letters of political affairs.

It was 15 minutes later that Momoko had gathered up the courage to finally knock at his door. Gaara laid down his pen, his eyes flickering to the file for a moment before he sat up straight in his chair.

"Enter."

Momoko, on the other side of the door, took in one last deep breath before she turned the knob and walked through. At first, she kept her eyes down as she shut the door behind her, then turned and bowed to the Kazekage.

"Thank you for seeing me, Lord Kazekage." She said, staying bowed for a moment before she stood straight again, finally letting her eyes rest on the Kazekage.

He...well, he wasn't at all what she had been expecting. She had imagined someone older, an elder or a middle aged man. Sango hadn't mentioned him being around her age, though she didn't really say much about him anyway. He looked a year or two older than her, which was what had initially caught her off guard. The puzzlement was clear in her eyes as she stared at the Kazekage, who stared blankly back.

"Is something wrong?" His deep tone cut through the silence, his voice rich and smooth as he spoke. Momoko felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment as she realized she had been staring, and she bowed her head in respect to the leader.

"Forgive me, Lord Kazekage. I hadn't expected you to be so...well, young." She said, a meek smile crossing her lips as she looked away. Gaara said nothing in return, taking his own time to observe her before he turned his eyes away and grabbed the file.

"You're wanting to open a business here." He stated, not wanting to question her about it since he already knew. She looked back to him, a more confident smile spreading on her lips.

"Yes, sir. You see, I've recently come here from Konoha, where my family owned a shop there." She said, telling Gaara what he had already learned from the brief skimming of her file, "Since I am not a shinobi, I have no source of income other than this shop...If you were to grant me permission, that is."

He listened silently, watching her slightly nervous smile as she stood before him. She had good posture, he noticed, though he didn't know why that was a relevant thought in his head. Momoko was only slightly unnerved by the pale eyes that stared blankly at her, and the silence that came from him.

"Your family," He asked after a moment, "Did they come with you?"

There was a noticeable change in her smile, but it still stayed upon her face none the less. She shook her head, her eyes drifting away from him for just a second before they returned.

"No, sir. My parents passed in the spring," She said to him.

"I'm sorry." He said, though she could tell that his words were nothing more than a common courtesy. Still though, she just gave him another smile and shook her head again.

"They passed peacefully...They had lived long lives, and they died happy." She said, not quite sure why she had. It was for there mere sake of keeping the conversation going.

Gaara didn't say anything, instead he nodded in understanding. No, he didn't relate to her in the slightest bit, but he did feel some vague trances of sympathy for her loss. The Kazekage reached into the bottom drawer, running his finger along the files there until he finally came across what he had been looking for. He pulled the pamphlet from the file, setting it on his desk. The papers would give her the permission to open her shop; after a few signatures, she would be free to do as she wished.

"This shop," He said, grabbing his pen once again as he began to fill out the page, "What will you be selling there?"

That question seemed to bring a new light to her eyes, and she gave Gaara the most genuine smile he had seen in a long time, "Flowers, sir! I'd like to open a flower shop."

The pen stopped etching across the page, pausing for a moment as the Kazekage turned his eyes to her.

"Flowers." He repeated again, almost questioning what he heard. He raised his head fully to look at her, his green eyes once again piercing through her.

This time, she didn't seem to falter under his gaze. No, she stood straight and stared back, the smile still on her lips. She was firm about this; he could tell. The fact that she didn't crumble under his gaze, or look away made it clear that she had her heart set. Still though, no matter how confident she was, there were still questions that needed to be asked.

"How will you maintain them?" He asked, now giving her his full attention as the pen stayed in his hand.

"I plan to return to Konoha a few times a year so that I may get more flowers there." She said, "A friend of mine, Ino Yamanaka, also owns a flower shop and is willing to help gather inventory for me since I am no longer there. With the right amount of sun and air conditioning, I believe I can make it work here."

Momoko didn't just believe, no, she knew that she could make it work. Flowers had been her life for the past twenty years, there wasn't any way she couldn't handle this. Sure, the summer in Konoha was nothing compared to the every day heat of Suna. But, she was prepared for whatever came her way, and had more than enough experience to know just how to handle it. She had the endurance, the capability, and the motivation. The only thing she didn't have was the Kazekage's signature.

"Have you spoken with the Hokage about this?" He asked, the mention of the position bringing the image of a loud voice and whiskers to his mind. Had he been alone, the thought of Naruto would have brought a fond smile to his lips. He wasn't Hokage currently, but Gaara didn't doubt for a moment that he one day would be. 

"Tsunade doesn't mind-" She paused, realizing her mistake as soon as it came from her mouth, "I mean...I've already asked the Hokage, and she doesn't seem opposed."

The thought of Tsunade made her remember home for just a moment: more specifically, team seven. She had never been to close to Sasuke, but Sakura had been her best friend and Naruto...Her personal life wasn't any of the Kazekage's business, nor was it anything that he would want to know about either. Besides, Naruto was in the past, all of that was in the past. She couldn't, and wouldn't, dwell on it anymore. Now she had to focus on her future, which was currently printed out on the papers in front of the young Kazekage.

The name slip did not go unnoticed by the Kazekage, and the thought crossed his head that she may have known her as more than just the village leader. Had they been in a more appropriate setting, he would have asked how she knew her. Instead, he focused on the matter at hand. She stood patiently as he finished signing his name where it was necessary, before he turned the papers to face her and handed her the pen.

Signing the papers had been one of the greatest moments of her life. It was empowering to feel the weight of the pen in her hand, still warm from being in the Kazekage's grip. She signed it all with a smile, under his gaze, and began to feel that this moment was finally when her life had really started. When she finished signing them, she handed the pen back to him, and turned away as he pulled out the official stamp so that she could blink the few tears away from her eyes.

"Welcome to Sunakagure," He said, holding the pamphlet out for her, "And good luck."

She looked back to him, her eyes meeting his for a moment. He seemed to be sincere in his words, and now that she was a few steps closer, Momoko realized that he really wasn't anything like she had thought he would be. He wasn't some elder or some common middle aged man. No, this was still a young man, and she was beyond grateful to him for doing nothing more than signing his name.

"Thank you, Lord Kazekage," She said, a wide smile spreading on her lips as she took the papers from his hand, "Thank you very much!" Had he been standing near her, she would have hugged him. But all she could do know was offer him the biggest and warmest smile had ever mustered, before she turned on her heel and left the office with her head held high.

Gaara watched as the door closed behind her, still staring in her direction. She had smiled so brightly, there had been so much light in her eyes...Gaara felt his own smile appear, small and hardly anything more than a twitch of the lips. Maybe he would never see her again, but where ever those papers lead her, Gaara wished her the best.

He turned to the window again, his eyes trailing the figure in the purple dress until she disappeared from his view. After a moment, he looked up to the sky.

For the first time in years, Gaara saw a shape in the clouds.


	4. One Step Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are now up to date- this chapter and all of the ones following were written in 2020! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Cleaning was not her strong suit. She didn't like the chemicals, the feel of wet sponges or the dirty surfaces that she had to touch. It was a nasty feeling to have grime and muck get on your hands. It was different from soil, that was easy to wash off and didn't smell awful. But cobwebs and dust, and all around clutter of the abandoned space was, to put it simply, gross. Momoko almost wanted to put it off just another day but instead forced herself out of bed and into the closet that housed her cleaning supplies. 

When she had finally received the keys to the shop, and stepped through the door for the very first time, Momoko was distressed to see just how much work would need to be done. It was a great size, and luckily there were already shelves and a display window assembled inside. However, she could tell that it had been a long time since anyone had paid it any real attention. Dust and sand covered every surface, and the wallpaper was old and peeling. The floors needed scrubbed, as did the windows and the counters. The light fixtures needed replaced, and it wouldn't have hurt to give the baseboards a good wash either. This shop needed a lot of work.

She had started on the cleaning process almost instantly. Changing out of her nice clothing, she got on a loose T-shirt and pants and went to work with her cleaning supplies. The first thing she did was tear down the crumbled grey wallpaper and throw it out. The wall beneath wasn't bad, but there would definitely need to be something to go over it. Still, she pushed that to the back of her mind for the time being, and after an hour or so of tearing off wallpaper, she began on the real cleaning.

The first two weeks of owning the shop was nothing but scrubbing and washing and scrubbing and washing. It was a lot of work, and being on her knees and standing for long periods of time did take a toll on her body. By the end of the day, her muscles and arms ached from the scrubbing. Momoko didn't allow herself to take many breaks, wanting to get this process moving along as quickly as she could. The sooner she moved into the shop, the better for her flowers.

Finally, after all that time, her cleaning paid off.

It almost shined in the light that came through the crystal clear windows. The shelves were cleaned and waxed, the floors had been buffed and the walls were now redone in a pastel green. The dust that had covered every surface was no more, and the finished product was beyond what words could describe. Momoko stood by the door, facing the shop, and she let a smile come to her tired face. It wasn't finished, but it was one step closer.

She let herself go for the rest of the day and in doing so decided that a little celebration was in order. The last two weeks had been nothing but waking up, cleaning, and doing whatever else the shop called for. Sure, she still took the time to eat and shower and do whatever she needed to, but every free moment was spent here. But now, with its pretty white shelves and pastel green walls, the image of her flower shop was getting clearer.

Momoko showered once she had locked up shop and gone back up into her home, washing away the few paint speckles that clung to her skin and enjoying the nice feeling of being clean. The heat and pressure of the water did wonders in relaxing her tense muscles, and Momoko allowed herself just a few extra moments of sitting underneath the stream.

Once she felt fresh and clean, she dried herself down and made her way into her bedroom. She had added a few new things in here just to make it feel more like hers: a healthy daffodil in a bright pot of purple patterns, a colorful quilt instead of the dull beige blanket on her bed, and a few fairy lights hanging from the edges of the room. It wasn't quite where she wanted it to be, but it was beginning to feel like home. Momoko dropped her dirty clothes into a hamper and turned her attention to the closet, letting her fingers flutter across the hanging dresses before she finally decided on one and pulled it out.

Tonight she wanted to go out. Not to party or drink or anything like that, but instead to treat herself to a nice little dinner at a nice little place. Of course she had more than enough food here to make, but it wouldn't feel like a treat if she had to make it herself. The dress she had chosen was a little nicer, with a sweetheart neckline that dipped a little lower than her usual attire and a skirt that flared out at her hips. The sleeves and body were a light chiffon material that flowed when she moved and the whole dress itself was pale green; a nod to the new colors of her shop, she thought with a smile.

She slipped the dress over her hand and pulled the sides of her hair back and pinned them with a small lily-shaped clip. The rest of her hair fell in pale waves against her back, still a little damp but quickly drying with volume. Momoko took a moment to smile at herself in the mirror, twirling a loose strand in her fingers. Her hair was one of her favorite parts about her apperance, the natural waves and volume always making her feel pretty even on her lowest days. It looked beautiful in the way she had it done, almost so much so that she considered not wearing makeup. Still, she knew makeup would add the few little touches that were missing and soon made work of applying the cosmetics. After she was done getting ready and about to leave the house, she allowed herself one last glance in the mirror. Her makeup was just a bit heavier than usual, her eyeshadow a darker shade of brown and her lips a light peachy shade. With the addition of a tan pair of sandals, Momoko was rather pleased with how she looked tonight. There was no one to dress up for but herself, and she congratulated herself on doing a damn good job of it. With a little smile and wave to her own reflection, she left her house and set out to the streets of Sunakagure.

It was a little later in the evening so the usual groups of children were nowhere to be seen, save for the few that ran to make it home for curfew. These were the hours for the adults, it seemed, and more of them walked along the lit up streets than earlier in the day. People drifted in and out of taverns and food stalls, their laughter carrying in the air along with the smells of the various stalls and restaurants that were open. She smiled at the sight of the people that went about their nights, something about them enjoying their evening pleasant even though she was not a part of it. Momoko kept her eye on the restaurants she passed, peeking in windows and reading the signs overhead to determine where she wanted to eat for the night. There weren't many nicer places to choose from, so it didn't take long before she decided on a place.

It was a little Yakiniku shop tucked between two larger buildings, but despite its size there was still a good amount of people inside. Most of them were larger groups of people, as was normal for Yakiniku restaurants, but she did spot a few smaller tables in the back that were meant for two. She figured one would do just fine.

"Two?" The woman at the front of the restaurant asked with a smile, already collecting two menus in her hand as Monoko walked up to her podium.

"Just me tonight," She replied with a bright smile. "One, please."

The woman seemed a little taken back for a moment but it quickly faded back to a smile of her own and a quick apology. She set the other menu back and gestured to Momoko to follow her to one of the smaller tables she had seen through the window. It still had the grill in the middle, this one just smaller than the ones at the bigger tables. She didn't mind it though, smiling to the hostess in thanks before taking her seat. Not long after sitting down, her drink order was taken and quickly brought to her, and she was left to glance over the menu on her own for a few minutes. Once the server came back, she ordered what appealed to her and it didn't take long before her meat and vegetables were set in front of her and ready to be cooked.

The rest of the restaurant was alive with chatter and laughter from the other customers, many of whom looked as though they had just gotten off of work. There were some families out though, despite the hour of night that was creeping closer. Momoko spent her dinner watching the families in specific, smiling at how the children watched in amazement as their meals cooked before their eyes and how their parents laughed beside them. The sight reminded her of her own parents and how they had once laughed at the sight of her awe during her first yakiniku meal. They were only memories now, but they still made her smile almost as much as they had while they were still happening. When she had first lost her parents in the spring, families like these made her heart ache just a little. Of course, the feeling of loss still lingered in her heart but now it wasn't as hurtful as it had been before. Sure, she had lost them- but at least she had even had them at all.

She let her mind drift to the future, past opening the flower shop and past maintaining it. Instead, she thought further ahead, to the days when she would have a family of her own. Of course, those times were years away but they would still happen; at least, she hoped they would. Momoko had always wanted a family of her own, not a big one but enough that her house would always be filled with the sounds of laughter or running feet. Being an only child had made her desire for children of her own strong. Not so much that she was going to seek it out any time soon, but enough so that she thought about it every time she saw other families out and about. At one point, she almost thought she knew what her children would look like: bright blue eyes, blonde hair, grand smiles, booming voices. For a few years she had a rather clear idea of what they would look like. But then she had moved away from Konoha, away from him, and her future children were faceless once again.

Momoko almost let herself get sucked into that string of thought: the one that led to her thinking about bright smiles and whiskers, but she forced them from her mind almost as quickly as they came. She was determined to enjoy her dinner and so far she had accomplished that goal. So, with a deep breath to both clear her head and smell the cooked food in front of her, Momoko shifted her thoughts back to her dinner.

Once her plate was clean and her bill was paid, Momoko found herself back on the streets again. The sky was darker this time, stars now twinkling beautifully overhead. She let herself look at them rather than the sidewalk ahead of her, admiring how they looked against the navy sky. She had always liked looking up to the stars; her parents had once told her that loved ones that had passed were in them. After watching families and thinking about her own over dinner, the thought of it comforted her now. Surely, her parents were looking down at her now and smiling back. They were proud of her and how far she had come for herself, she could feel it.

The sky looked a little different, now. These were the same stars that she saw in Konoha, but something about them seemed unlike the sky she knew back then.

This is Sunakagure's sky, and the sight of it made her smile.


	5. Light Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)

In her distraction while staring up at the sky, she had bumped right into someone who seemed to be paying equally less attention than she was. Momoko stumbled back a little, having lost her balance for a moment from the collision.

"Watch where you're going, would ya?!" The man shouted at her despite having hardly budged from the impact. He was only a bit taller than she was, dressed head to toe in black shinobi gear with his face covered in purple painted markings. He was a little handsome if you could squint past the paint, but that hardly changed the fact that his rudeness had slightly put her off. She felt her cheeks heat a little at his harsh words and she tugged down the skirt of her dress as she tried to recompose herself.

"I'm sorry," She said with an apologetic little smile, "I wasn't really paying attention."

"Clearly," He huffed, crossing his arms at her. He had opened her mouth to stay something else, but was cut off by the person next to him. Momoko hadn't really noticed his companion before, but certainly did now.

"Enough, Kankuro." The Kazekage said, his tone as flat as it had been the only other time she had interacted with him. He was still dressed in his Kazekage robes, meaning he must have just gotten out of his office. Seeing him here only made her feel a little more embarrassed at her own clumsiness and she was quick to bow before him.

"Lord Kazekage," She said quickly, coming up from her bow to offer him a small smile, "Forgive me, I didn't mean to interrupt your walk."

He held up his hand to show her bow was not necessary, "No need to apologize, Miss Akiyama. Kankuro wasn't paying attention either."

"I was too!" The other man, Kankuro, said from beside him. He turned his eyes back to say something to her again before he seemed to pause, "Wait...Akiyama?"

Monoko gave him a smile and nodded. He stared at her for a moment as though seeing her for the first time before a snort passed his lips, followed quickly by a loud laugh.

"So this is the flower girl?" He laughed, and Momoko felt her ears grow hot as her cheeks grew hotter, suddenly feeling more self conscious than she had in awhile. Maybe it was his laughter, or the way he had said 'flower girl' in such a teasing manner, but Momoko suddenly felt entirely too small. Gaara seemed to have noticed her silence and shot the other a quick glare.

"Go find Temari," He said, his voice more an order than a question, "I'll catch up in a moment."

Kankuro's laughter had died out but his lips were still spread in a goofy grin. He almost asked why Gaara wanted to stay behind, but instead agreed because of the look he was given before shooting another condescending look to Momoko.

"Catch ya later then, flower girl."

Gaara opened his mouth to silence him again, but the painted man had already slipped past her and started his way down the street.

Momoko stood there staring at her feet, her face red and hands fiddling with the light fabric of her dress. She was embarrassed about a lot of things right then: bumping into someone, the Kazekage witnessing her bumping into someone, that someone then talking town to her and teasing her right in front of him. It wasn't so much that the Kazekage was important to her, more so that he was important to everyone else and here she felt like some little kid getting picked on by a playground bully.

"I apologize for his rudeness," Gaara said, "He lacks manners, among other things."

"It's alright," She said, offering him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes this time. When they had first spoken, her eyes had lit up with the weight of her smile. Now though, they didn't seem to do that.

They stood in an awkward silence for a few moments, neither really sure what to say or how to say it. They didn't know each other or really anything about each other and Gaara wondered why he had even sent Kankuro off in the first place. He was curious, he knew that much, about her. He had found himself thinking of her a few times in the fast two weeks; nothing more than wondering how her business was going, but still thinking about her all the same. He had no intentions of seeking her out himself, but now that they had met again by chance, he took the opportunity to inquire.

"How is your shop faring?" He finally said after the silence felt it had dragged on a little too long. This time her smile was a little more genuine instead of embarrassed, and she straightened up again as the new topic seemed to bring her confidence back.

"Really well, actually! It needed a lot of cleaning and fixing up, but I've finally got it in a good spot," She said, now back to the bubbly young woman who had stood in his office, "I finished painting inside today, actually."

"That's good." He said simply. It wasn't much to go off of, but that didn't stop her from smiling and going on. She was rambling a bit, she knew, but he was the first person she had talked to in these past two weeks so words just tumbled out of her mouth before she could really stop them. 

"I've still got to move in the flowers I have and do a bit of decorating, and I also have to paint the outside," She paused for a moment, seemed to contemplate something, then looked at him again, "Am I...allowed to paint the outside?"

He nodded, "You can. Any unusual colors will need approval."

This made her think a little more, "I'm thinking green, maybe, since it is a flower shop and all." 

"Green?"

"Like a bright green!" She said, smiling, "Something that stands out, ya know?"

"Bright green." He repeated, a nonexistent eyebrow now slightly raised, "I don't think a bright green would be allowed."

She huffed and crossed her arms, a gesture that almost surprised him. Most people weren't as informal around him, but she didn't seem to care much about that at this moment. The feel of the conversation had shifted a bit. First it was awkward, then professional, but now it suddenly felt like they were talking just like normal people. She was a normal person, but he wasn't- maybe that's why he was so aware of the shift in atmosphere.

"What would you recommend then, Lord Kazekage?" Momoko surprised herself with her tone a little. Sure, she was friendly, but she probably should have been a little more careful around the Kazekage. She was still new here, after all. The last thing she wanted was for the Kazekage to personally dislike her.

Surprising her more so, though, was that he actually stopped to think about it. He had let his gaze shift a little to the buildings around him, his brow furrowed slightly as he seemed to mull over the options. She wanted something unique, something that wouldn't blend right in but would still look good with the rest of the village. He hadn't ever given it any true consideration before; Gaara had always found the muted colors of the village to look just fine, if a little boring. Now that he looked at the buildings around him with what felt like a new perspective, he considered that maybe some color would do them some good.

He let his eyes move from the buildings and instead to her. She stood with her arms still crossed but the expression on her face was a little softer, waiting for his reply after realizing that he actually intended to give one. The light fabric of her dress shifted a bit with the breeze, the few strands of her hair that were draped over the front of her shoulders doing the same. Her makeup was a little different than when he had last seen her but it still complimented her already nice features. She was a little more dressed up than when she had been before him, and the change was rather appealing.

It occurred to him now that the picture in her files didn't do her much justice. Sure, she looked nice in the picture, but the young woman who stood before him seemed like a different person. The picture didn't capture the light in her eyes or the way her smile seemed to make her glow just a bit. It didn't show the faint scattering of pale freckles against her nose and cheeks or the way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she smiled at him. He hadn't really noticed these things when they first met but now that she stood in front of him a little dressed up and a gentle smile on her lips, Gaara seemed to really see her for the first time.

She was beautiful, he admitted to himself. He had spent such a long time uninterested in such things but now that he was older and (as Temari would say) softer, he became more aware of the women around him. It felt a little odd that he had to allow himself to find her attractive, but it was one of many small steps he had to take in order to feel a little more...normal. And what was more normal for a man than to be attracted to a woman?

Her eyes were what he liked most, he realized. Sure, her long blonde hair and fair skin was appealing, but there was something about the pale blue of her eyes that made him have to look away. They were so expressive: bright when she smiled, downcast when she was embarrassed, crinkled when she teased. He imagined she talked more with her eyes than with her words. They were light like the morning sky- a shade he had never really seen before.

"Blue," He finally said without really realizing he had wanted to say it, "A light blue."

"Light blue..." She pondered, thinking it over for a moment. It wasn't long before a smile spread on her lips, "Light blue it is, then."

Her smile almost made him smile back, but instead he just watched hers- it was big enough for the both of them.

Two days after their run in, Momoko stood in front of her shop with a smile. She had hung flower boxes outside of the windows and filled them with flowers that could stand so much sun and heat. She had hired someone to carve little flowers into the wood of the door and paint it white, and once it was done she had hung a wreath on the front of it. She stood a few steps back from it and took in every detail, from the potted plants to the white door to the light blue walls. This was her shop, and the pride of it all swelled in her chest.

Light blue had been the right choice; she would have to thank the Kazekage for his help.


	6. The Flower Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

Back in Konoha, her family's shop had been called "Akiyama Flower Shop". It was simple and sweet, but boring. Momoko had told them so when they were alive, and she would say so while they're gone. Besides the fact that it was their name, it held no meaning- and no, being their name wasn't meaning enough. She had tried to get them to change it, had even come up with millions of ideas as to what the new name could be but they never entertained the idea. It was their shop and therefore, their name.

This was her shop though, not her parents'. She was free to name it whatever she wanted! And despite the hundreds of names that rolled off her tongue when she tried to change her parents' shop, she didn't like a single one for herself.

It didn't really bother her in the beginning, she figured it would suddenly hit her or she'd come up with it while doing repairs and decorating but it never did. The shop was nearly finished now, different botanical charts and mounted plants covering her walls. The shelves have been filled with the flowers she moved from the guest room and the window has been opened to allow light inside. The few flowers that didn't make the trip had been dried and pressed for herself, their soil now recycled for seeds she wanted to grow. The window sills were lined with newly planted flowers, some having already sprouted. There was little to be done with the shop now besides maintaining and adding the few finishing touches. It left her with more free time than she had since moving in, so she relaxed into the cushioned seat in the corner of her shop and tried to brainstorm name ideas.

No names came to mind. No good names, that was. She had scribbled what felt like hundreds onto the notepad on her lap but even after an hour and a half of jotting things down, not a single one appealed to her. Some were cute - The Watering Can, she liked that but not enough- some of them were downright bad- Momoko's Petals, yikes- and some of them weren't even worth mentioning. She wanted something that meant something to her, but not a single thing on the notepad did. After giving it a few more tries only to scratch out every single one, she reluctantly set aside her notepad. She wasn't accepting defeat, but maybe a break would do her some good. 

She decided to distract herself with the other task she had on her schedule that day: making a bouquet for the Kazekage. It hadn't taken her long to figure out what token of gratitude she wanted to give to him, and what better way to thank him for a flower shop than to give him flowers? There was a backroom to the shop that she had set up as a space to make and store bouquets and in there she had already had the flowers laid out that she planned to give to him.

Though not everyone spoke flowers, Momoko based her selection largely on what they represented. Before her lay an assortment of yellow globe flowers, white sweet peas, and a few stems of baby's breath. The baby's breath was just to accent the other two flowers, those which did have actual meaning: gratitude. One may think he hadn't done enough to warrant a gift, but he had signed the papers and given her a color to paint her shop. Those were reasons enough to give him flowers.

It took very little time to arrange the flowers in a way that looked beautiful and she set them inside a clear vase which she decorated with a yellow ribbon. Making bouquets was always one of her favorite parts of being in the flower business and she had been the one mostly in charge of that when she was still in her parents' shop. She stood back and admired her work for a moment, glad to have worked with flowers again and for the beautiful display she had turned them into. She was rather proud of what she created, but all of her confidence seemed to dwindle when it came to finally writing the small white card that lay beside the vase.

She didn't want to sound too corny or too stiff, she wanted it to be a pleasant little thank you. He would probably end up throwing the card out, so she had no idea why she was so nervous about this silly little piece of paper. She didn't really know the Kazekage outside of their two meetings and that was unlikely to change. He really hadn't done much besides his job, but that didn't seem to kindle the desire she had to repay him in some small way.

In the end, she decided on a simple "Thank you for your help, Lord Kazekage! I hope to see you in the shop once we open!" with her name signed neatly underneath.

With the card tucked between the flowers and the vase securely in hand, Momoko set out for the Kazekage tower.

As she walked through the market, she couldn't help but notice the few stares she got. Not her in specific, but rather her flowers. They had seen flowers before, sure, but not these kinds. And certainly not so bright and alive. She was a bit of an odd sight in the sandy square; her long hair braided behind her and her bright purple dress flowing at her knees as she walked with her vivid bouquet in her hands. People that passed her turned their heads to catch another look at the foreign blooms. She certainly stood out against the sand and that was why Kankuro could spot her from the other side of the square.

"Hey! Flower girl!" The voice behind her almost made her halt for a moment, bristling at both the voice and the nickname. She didn't have to turn to see who it was and so instead kept walking, not bothering to look back as he jogged to catch up to her.

"Hey," He said as he caught up, now walking at her side, "Didn't ya hear me calling for you? What are you, deaf?"

She huffed, keeping her eyes ahead. Last time they met she had been embarrassed but in the days since then the event had only made her angrier the more she thought about it. This time, she wouldn't let him bully her.

"I didn't reply because 'flower girl' isn't my name." She said stiffly, not turning her eyes to him as she kept walking.

He seemed unfazed by her tone and kept in pace with her as she walked through the marketplace.

"Fine then, what is your name?" He asked, his tone both that of a child who had just been scolded and of someone who almost didn't care. She almost didn't reply to him because of it but was so taken back by him actually asking that she found herself giving in.

"Momoko. My name is Momoko," She said, this time sparing him a glance.

"Momoko? Yea, I see it." He said, crossing his arms behind his head. She refrained from sticking her tongue out at him.

"Is there something you wanted, Kankuro?" She said, putting more emphasis on his name in hopes that he would use hers. She remembered it from when the Kazekage had scolded him.

"Ohh remembered my name, huh?" He joked, just a hit of flirtatiousness in his tone, "Guess I left quite the impression?"

"Not a good one, I'm afraid." She said, holding her vase a little closer as they left the marketplace. Momoko wanted nothing more than to get rid of him but no matter how much she picked up her pace, he stayed by her side.

He shrugged, unfazed by her bitter words and instead turning his focus to the flowers.

"Where you going with these?" He asked, reaching out to poke one of the globe flowers, "Got some little boyfriend somewhere?"

She tugged the flowers away from him, glaring at the intruding finger that still hung in the air, "Not that it's any of your business but no, no boyfriend." She said, ignoring his cheeky grin, "I'm taking these to the Kazekage to thank him."

The laugh that came out of him was so sudden that she jumped a bit.

"These are for Gaara?" He laughed, "You're giving Gaara flowers?"

Gaara. She had almost forgotten that she did, in fact, know the Kazekage's name. She had only heard it once or twice from Naruto but now that the shinobi next to her said it, it came back to her. She wanted to kick herself for forgetting. 

It did make her wonder though- how did Kankuro know his name?

"You must know him well to call the Kazekage by his name."

"Well yea," Kankuro said, shrugging nonchalantly, "I am his brother, ya know."

This time, she did stop for the sake of looking at him head on. She took the time to actually look at him, from his sandals to his silly paint, and felt the confusion only rise.

"You're his brother..?" She repeated slowly, "That's a joke, right?"

"Nope!" He said, giving her another casual shrug.

She studied him for another moment before commenting, "But you two look nothing alike."

"Yea, damn shame, right? Gaara got the ugly end of the gene pool, guess that makes it hard to believe he's related to someone like me." He said with a grin. It was obvious that it was a joke intended to make her laugh, but instead she rolled her eyes and shouldered past him.

"What time is your meeting scheduled for?" He asked as he walked beside her, only to stop once again when she did. She seemed a little more nervous this time, biting at the edge of her lip.

"Do I need to have a meeting?" She asked, "I just want to bring him flowers..."

"Of course you have to have a meeting," He said, "He's the Kazekage, people can't just stroll right in whenever they want."

She hadn't really thought about that. She didn't think that she needed to make an appointment just to drop off some flowers but now Kankuro made her reconsider that thought process. Last time she had needed to see the Kazekage, it had taken a while to hear anything back by then. She couldn't keep this arrangement alive for that long and with the shop needing to keep inventory for the opening, she couldn't risk having to use more flowers than necessary.

He must have recognized her look of defeat because he held his hands up and offered her another grin.

"Hey hey hey, don't you worry, you're talking to just the right guy," He said, "I'll take your flowers up to him."

She supposed that would be a good idea. He was the Kazekage's brother, after all. He probably didn't need to schedule an appointment. Still, the idea of trusting her flowers with someone who had already been rude to her wasn't very appealing.

"What's the catch?" She asked, the suspicion clear in her tone.

"No catch," He said, "Think of it as making amends after yelling at you the other night."

At least that proved that he knew he was in the wrong, if only a little. He seemed genuine enough right now, his smile real if not a little goofy as well. A part of her didn't trust him but the risk of her flowers dying without making it to their destination outweighed that. She mulled it over in her mind a few times, running through the scenario, before eventually handing over the vase with a bit of reluctance.

"Be careful with them, ok?" She said, showing him how to hold the vase the best way, "Take them right to him."

"Yeah yeah, I've got ya," He said, almost complaining despite holding the vase the correct way and keeping them a little closer to his chest.

Maybe he wasn't so bad, she thought. The first time they met could have just been a bad night for him, maybe he really was a nice guy. The thought made her smile a little at him, which he returned with a smile of his own. She may be able to even like him if he kept up with this attitude.

Unfortunately, though, she was wrong.

"I'll make sure he can see some of the flowers while he still can," He commented, observing the blooms he still held in his hands.

The comment struck her as odd, "What do you mean, 'while he still can'?" She asked, a fine eyebrow raised.

"I mean, come one," He said as though he expected her to give into something, "A flower shop? Here? You really think that's gonna work out?"

The pleasant thoughts she had spared for him were gone from her mind, and she glared at the painted man.

"Why wouldn't it?"

He barked out a laugh, "It's Suna! The sand village, there's no way your little flowers are gonna make it out here."

"They will because I know what I'm doing," She said, her tone rising as the anger returned to her voice.

"Doesn't matter how good you are, it's not gonna happen." He insisted, his grin now more taunting than it had been before, "Hate to break it to ya sweetheart, but your shop's as good as closed down already."

The last thing she wanted to hear was some jerk telling her it wouldn't work out. She knew it would work out, it had to. Her livelihood was riding on the success of this shop, there was no way she was going to let it fail after how far she had come. She wasn't going to let some purple painted jerk, or anyone else for that matter, talk down to her and her dream.

Through gritted teeth, she said, "Make sure the Kazekage gets the flowers, please." With that she turned on her heel and did everything in her power to stop herself from stomping away from him. She heard him laugh again before he called out to her,

"Catch ya later then, flower girl! And good luck!"

She didn't need luck, she had hard work and determination. She had a dream that wasn't going to just die because some punk in purple said it was. Besides the income it would bring in, she needed this shop. Flowers were all she knew and what she had always loved, she knew soil better than she knew the ground beneath her feet. More than that, she needed this shop for the family she had lost and the life she hoped to have. This was her everything. Others had their shinobi training or political careers- she had her flowers. No matter what anyone said, she was going to make this work.

With a new fire in her heart and a determination to prove not only Kankuro, but anyone else wrong, Momoko painted the sign for her shop that very night and when the morning came, she hung it above her door for the whole village to see.

The Flower Girl was going to be the best shop in the village, just you wait.


	7. Special Delivery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these were posted all on one day, but now the chapters will come weekly! They'll be posted Sunday/Monday each week! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)

He heard him before he even entered the room- Kankuro always had surprisingly heavy footsteps for a trained ninja.

"Special delivery!" He exclaimed as he all but burst through the office door.

Gaara didn't look up at him at first, instead skimming over the rest of the document that was placed before him on the desk. It was just another mission report, but he had already set it aside for the sake of finishing the more important papers that crowded his desk. He had just gotten to it a few moments before Kankuro came through the door. What finally made him look up, though, was the vase that now sat at the top of his desk.

It was an arrangement of yellow and white flowers, none of which he had seen before in the village. The vase they sat in had been tied up in a yellow ribbon; the whole arrangement was the brightest thing in his office. 

"What is this?" He asked, setting his pen aside.

"What do you think?" Kankuro asked, making himself comfortable in one of the chairs that faced the desk, "They're flowers."

Gaara moved his gaze from the blooms to the man, staring blankly at him until he caved with a chuckle.

"Fine, fine," He laughed, setting his elbows on his knees, "They're from Momoko."

"Momoko?" He repeated, reaching out to grab the little white card tucked into the bouquet.

"You know, Momoko Akiyama?" He said, "The flower girl?"

Gaara read over the card not once, but twice. He stared just a little longer at the wispy lines of her script before he looked again to the flowers in front of him. He hadn't thought about her much since their run in on the street a few nights ago, truthfully he didn't think he would ever interact with her again outside of it. He had no reason to.

"So when's the wedding?" Kankuro asked, pulling Gaara from his thoughts.

"What wedding?"

"You know!" He teased, leaning in a little closer, "You and Akiyama! I'm gonna be your best man, right?"

If Gaara was in any less control of himself, he may have blushed. Of course he found her attractive, but Kankuro didn't know that and he sure as hell wasn't going to admit it to him any time soon. Instead of replying, he picked up his pen with a roll of his eyes and focused back onto the paper in front of him.

"Oh come on Gaara, you've gotta admit she's pretty cute." Kankuro teased again, "That long hair, those eyes, that body-"

"Kankuro." He interrupted, looking back up at the other.

Kankuro just snickered and leaned back in his chair. Had the flowers not been on his desk, Gaara assumed he would have kicked up his feet with how comfortable he looked.

"I'm just saying! You noticed it too, right? Why else did you wanna talk to her the other night?"

"I was asking about the shop." He said simply, followed by a sigh as he set his pen down again. Kankuro was comfortable, it was unlikely he would leave anytime soon. Until then, Gaara would have to set the work aside and entertain him.

"Riiggght, the shop," He said, a grin on his lips, "The flower shop. How do you think that's gonna go, anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, you've gotta see it too, right?" He insisted, "A flower shop? Here?"

He would admit, it was an odd request. It had surprised him when she had first come in to sign the business papers but the surprise had faded almost as quickly as it had come.

"She seems determined," Gaara said, "I'm sure she will do fine."

Kankuro huffed, crossing his arms as he slumped a little further into the chair. He opened his mouth to say something else when the opening of the door cut him off.

"Gaara, have you-" Temari stopped mid-sentence as she looked up, her eyes snapping from the Kazekage to the flowers that stood proudly on his desk. "...Where did those come from?"

"His girlfriend," Kankuro interrupted before Gaara could reply, his tone both teasing and a little casual.

"Girlfriend?" Temari asked again, this time more surprised than she had been at seeing the flowers in the first place.

Gaara shot his brother a glare that shut him up, save for the few chuckles that still slipped past Kankuro's lips.

"What do you need, Temari?" He asked her as she now took the other seat beside Kankuro, placing her paper to the side on the desk.

"Nevermind that," She said with a wave of her hand, scooting closer to look at the flowers, "Tell me about this girlfriend."

"She isn't my girlfriend." Gaara replied, shooting Kankuro a look that only made the other snicker, "She's just a citizen thanking me for allowing her to open a business. Nothing more."

"Wait a second," She said as she looked a little closer, reaching out and running a finger along the soft petals of a sweet pea, "Is this that florist that's opening up in the market?"

"You heard about her, huh?" Kankuro said, watching his sister as she huffed.

"Anyone with ears has heard about her," She replied, "It's not every day Suna gets a flower shop."

It didn't surprise the Kazekage that word had already made its way around the village about her. True to what Temari said, it was rare for new shops to open and even rarer for them to be florists. Word of this new business must have traveled fast. Vaguely, he thought how that would benefit her business once it opened. The more people that knew about her store, the more traffic she would see.

Gaara wanted her business to succeed. Not because he had any personal connection to her or her shop, but because the odds seemed against her. There was always something about the underdog succeeding that felt like a victory for everyone else, too. And she was a bit of an underdog, if he ever saw one. New in the village, young, living alone, and opening a flower shop in a desert. The odds weren't exactly in her favor.

Maybe it was also because of her confidence that made him want to see her do well. She had been so determined when they had signed the papers, had even shed a few tears when Gaara finally gave her his signatures. He didn't know her full story, but he didn't have to to wish her well.

"We should all go when it opens," Temari suggested, pulling Gaara out of his thoughts again, "It could help out business for her if the Kazekage himself made an appearance."

"Yea! And then you can ask her out!" Kankuro interrupted.

"Kankuro." Gaara groaned, rubbing at his temple, "Enough with this."

"Fine, fine," He snickered, raising his hands in defeat, "But I get to say 'I told you so' at the wedding."

The three of them stayed there for a little while longer, their conversation shifting from the flower shop to less trivial things. Mostly what they had planned for the rest of the day, what they would have for dinner that night, and other things that came to mind right then. The conversation wasn't too important, but the feeling of just sitting around and being able to talk with them after so many years of not doing so was calming to Gaara. Sure, he had grown up with them and worked on the same team during the academy and on-wards, but he felt like he never really knew his siblings until after he had met Naruto. As he had gotten to know them more, he began to regret the years wasted.

After a while they left him to do his paperwork again, the office suddenly feeling entirely too quiet in their absence. He had every intention of getting back to work on the papers in front of him but his siblings' presence had sucked up what little motivation he had. Instead, he let his pen drop lazily onto his desk as he turned his attention away from the finely printed text. He let his gaze travel to the other papers sprawled out across his desk until his eye was caught by the bright bouquet in front of him.

It had been nice of her to send it. He hadn't expected her to do such, mostly because he didn't feel he had really done anything to warrant a gift. Still, he couldn't deny that the presence of it did brighten up the dull office just a bit. It was a little bright for his taste but from the few interactions he had with her, he actually found the bright yellows rather fitting. From what he could tell of her, she had a naturally sunny disposition. Aside from when Kankuro had scolded her that second time, she had always been nothing but smiles and kind words.

It was a little unusual, to say the least. So much of his life had been spent in darkness and shadows, people sparing little more than scared whispers and hateful glares. Once he was Kazekage things had drastically changed, but even then it was sometimes a little hard to find genuinely true smiles. The people of this village knew him before he was the person he is now, and that would always worry him in the back of his mind. Of course he had changed and they knew that, but a small part of him always worried that maybe he would never be able to completely make up for the years of pain he had brought to this village.

But there she was, with her bright smiles and pale eyes, looking at him like he was just another person. Of course there was the formality of being her superior but something about the way she spoke felt so incredibly genuine. The kindness in her eyes and in her words seemed so...unconditional. Like if he still were that person he had been in his youth, she would still smile just as brightly at him. That kind of kindness was hard to come by, but the thought of it made him see the flowers a little differently.

Gaara picked up the card on his desk and looked over it again, reading through her simple words in her wispy handwriting. It was short and to the point, a simple thank you and nothing more, but it was still kind of her to bother writing it at all. He opened the top drawer of his desk and set it inside before closing it away. Before returning to work, he let his eyes linger over the flowers again before reaching up. Ever so slightly, he traced a finger over one of the yellow blooms, temporarily fixated on its velvet touch. It really was a nice thought, this bouquet. 

After a few moments he pulled away and picked up his pen again, resuming his work with the faintest of smiles across his lips.


	8. Opening Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I did change a couple things in the first three chapters, just to clear up the timeline here. If you don't want to go back and reread them, here it is: Sasuke is NOT home, and Naruto is NOT Hokage yet, Tsunade still is. After planning out the rest of this story it just makes more sense for Naruto to not be Hokage. 
> 
> I already have the next 7 chapters of this typed up and done, so I thought I'd give you this chapter early! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and enjoy this chapter!

Her parents' shop had opened up before she was even born, so she had little memory of what it had been like when they first unlocked their doors. Her parents hadn't really gone into detail besides saying it was one of the proudest days of their lives, seconded only to the day she was born. It had sounded like a nice day from the brief times they had described it, so Monoko was hoping for an equally nice opening. 

She dressed up a little bit for the opening. Not as much as she had the night she treated herself to dinner, but enough to look a little better than she did on the daily. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and kept out of her face with a blue bandana. She wore a light, pastel blue dress with a white daisy pattern and lace accents. It didn't matter too much what she wore since it was covered by her green florist apron, but she still felt pretty in the outfit she chose. Momoko let herself have a bit of fun with her makeup, still wearing a neutral eyeshadow and mascara but painting a little daisy under the outer corner of her eye. After putting in a matching pair of daisy earrings and a little gold band on her pinky finger, Momoko was ready for the day.

It was a nice day- but more than that, it was a busy day. She had bought balloons and a sign to put outside the shop for the opening and when she woke up in the morning to finally open her doors, she was pleasantly surprised by the small crowd that had gathered. Seeing the people there, peeking through windows at her and her flowers made her chest swell with pride and she wasted no time to unlock the door and prop it open for the whole village to come as they pleased.

She was willing to bet good money that the whole village did come. All day, the bell above her door was constantly ringing as people came and went. Some people only wanted to look at the foregin flowers and bright blooms, which she was completely alright with. She stood behind the counter and answered any curious questions from the people who came in, almost overwhelmed with all of the bodies that packed themselves into the little shop and how many children stared slack-jawed at the vivid flowers. It was almost exciting to see so many people interested in her flowers- she pinned it on the fact that they had never really seen flowers like these before. 

What she liked even more than the awe-ed looks of her patrons was the fact that almost every one of them left with a pot or premade bouquet of their own. Some people bought them just to have the beautiful colors in their home, some people bought bouquets for special events that happened to be occurring within the next day or so. Parents bought their children starter flowers, and those children excitedly listened as Momoko explained how to best take care of them. The starter flowers had been her parents' idea- they were young plants that still needed a little bit of care before they bloomed, coming with a neatly printed care-card attached- and they were quite the hit among children. The adults settled for already grown flowers that needed little more than watering as well as the premade bouquets she had displayed at the front of the store. 

With every person that left with a smile, Momoko felt each fear and worry from the past few weeks melt away. People were here, buying her flowers and loving them, listening with baited breath as she explained how to take care of them, some even going as far as to thank her for the chance she had given them to lighten up the village. Every time a child eagerly held their little pot closer to their chests, or a young man blushed as he purchased a bundle of roses, or an elder looked at their new plant in absolute wonder, Momoko almost wanted to cry. These flowers, her flowers, made everyone who entered leave with a smile. Before it was even noon, Momoko deemed this as the best day of her life. 

As the sun began to set and the shelves began to look a little empty, people finally started to thin out. There were still people in the shop, just not as many as there had been during the day. Her brightest bouquets and most vivid flowers had been completely bought out during the all day rush, and Momoko took this time to restock the shelves with the flowers she kept in the back room. 

It was nice not having to stand behind the counter. She wasn't complaining about the constant ringing of her cash register but it was a pleasant change to be able to go out and interact with the people that lingered about her store. They must have felt more able to ask their questions now that she was out on the floor, because Momoko found herself engaged in a new conversation every time she came out of the back room with a new cart of inventory. The people mostly asked how she managed to keep them alive and what the names of the different flowers were; they were repetitive, but Momoko was too happy about their interest to be annoyed by it. 

She was just coming from the back room with the next cart of flowers when she heard the bell above the door ring again. There was only one more couple lingering by the bouquets when she left for the backroom and she had been planning on closing up the shop when they left. Not that she minded the extra business, but her feet were starting to ache from standing all day and her cheeks hurt from all the smiling she had done. Momoko was about to let them know the shop was closing soon, before she realized just who had come through the door. 

The Kazekge stood in the doorway, still dressed in his robes from the work day that had just ended for him. He held his hat in his hand as he acknowledged the couple who quickly greeted him, the pair now looking a little more humble than they had before. With the Kazekage was- to her dismay- Kankuro, so was chatting with a blonde woman as they hovered over a few stargazer lilies. Momoko pushed the cart a little further into the store, the sound of its wheels causing the three newcomers to look up at her. 

"Momoko!" Kankuro said, a grin on his lips as she stopped the cart and tucked it into an isle so that she could approach the three of them, "We were wondering when you'd pop out!" 

"Kankuro." She said, forcing a pleasant smile on her lips as she gave him a stiff greeting. She still wasn't the biggest fan of him, but she'd be damned if she let him ruin what had been a fantastic day. 

"Miss Akiyama," The Kazekage greeted with a nod, drawing her eyes to him.

This time, her smile was genuine when she turned her attention to him, "Lord Kazekage," She said, bowing to him, "It's kind of you to stop by." 

"Don't feel you have to bow every time we meet," Gaara reassured her, holding his hand up as he had the last time she had bowed to him, "There's no need for formality." 

Her smile turned a little sheepish and she straightened out her apron a little, "I'll try to remember that," She said, "Old habits do die hard, though." 

From the corner of her eye, she saw the nudge Kankuro had given to the blonde woman, who now watched her intently. Momoko turned and offered her a smile which she returned after a moment. The woman held her hand out for her, which Momoko didn't hesitate to take. 

"You must be the florist I've heard all about," She said as she shook her hand, a lighthearted teasing to her tone, "I'm Temari, their older sister." 

Maybe not looking anything alike was common in their family? Momoko had almost wondered if she was Kankuro's girlfriend, that was how hard it was to see the relation. Maybe their noses almost looked the same, if you squinted hard enough. Still though, Momoko offered her a smile all the same. 

"Thank you for coming in, Temari." She said pleasantly. 

"Well it isn't every day we get a florist here in Suna," The woman replied, "Almost everyone we passed on the way here had some kind of flowers in their hand." 

"Busy day, huh?" Kankuro asked, "That'd be great for me, since I should be getting some royalties off the name idea." 

This time, Momoko actually laughed at what he said. It had a bit of sarcasm to it, but it was a laugh all the same. 

"I didn't realize you had such a sense of humor, Kankuro," She joked back, feeling a little more at ease with him now that they weren't the only two in the conversation, "But yes, it was busy. I haven't sat down since I woke up." 

"We could leave, if you'd like to close." Gaara said, "We don't want to intrude." 

Momoko shook her head and waved him off, "Don't worry about it, I'll be fine. The last thing I want to do is chase away the Kazekage and his family." She offered them all another smile, "Take your time, look around as long as you want to!" 

They did just that. She left them to wander the shop on their own as she went back to her cart, sometimes looking over at the trio as they moved from different flower displays. It was mostly Temari and Kankuro doing the talking, occasionally calling to her to ask the name of whatever flower they were looking at, but sometimes Gaara would add his own comments. He didn't do much talking, instead let his fingers lightly graze against soft petals as his siblings talked away. Once in a while, he would look up the same time Momoko did and their eyes would meet for just a moment before Momoko looked away with a small smile.

She found her attention drifting away from the cart a few more times than she cared to admit, her eyes looking up across petals and leaves to watch the Kazekage as he browsed the blooms. She hadn't gotten much of a chance to see him since they met on the street, but even now it felt like she could see him a little more clearly. The last few rays of the sun's dying light peeked through the windows and every once in a while Gaara would step into that light to look at a new display. 

The soft light of the evening made his red hair seem to faintly glow, the rays casting a warm light over his pale skin. She watched the way he would reach out for a flower, always hesitating just a moment before letting a finger feel the soft petals. He was so gentle with them that they hardly moved underneath his touch. His pale eyes seemed to follow every line and seam of each leaf or petal he touched. Maybe it was the way he touched the flowers or the wonders the evening light was doing for him, but Momoko couldn't help but stare just a few seconds longer every time her eyes landed on him. 

It had been a long time since she had been attracted to someone. She had almost forgotten what it felt like until she realized the warmth in her cheeks. He wasn't conventionally attractive, not in the way most men were. Most men were good looking because of their friendly demeanor or confident postures, but Gaara didn't have either of those. He was a man of few words and seemingly even fewer emotions, but there was something about the way he carried himself and spoke to others that appealed to her and probably many other females. Gaara was undoubtedly handsome in his own, subtle way. She let herself smile softly at the thought of it- glad to have the normalcy of being attracted to someone again- and turned back to her cart to continue her work. 

She didn't see the way his eyes trailed to her almost as soon as she looked away, and the way Gaara seemed to realize how kind this evening light was to her, too.


	9. A Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

"Miss. Akiyama?" 

Momoko looked up from her almost empty cart, having lost herself in the busy work of restocking flowers. Temari and Kankuro were still browsing through the flowers, the woman now holding a little starter plant in her hands as they did so. The couple had left by now and the automatic lights had come on once the sun had finally slipped out of the sky.

Gaara stood at the end of the aisle she was in, his hat still in his hand as he had called out to her. She offered him a smile as she set the flowers in her hands down on the shelf in front of her, now giving him her full attention. 

"What can I do for you, Lord Kazekage?"

"I wanted to thank you," He said, his tone a little lower now as he watched his siblings move through an isle a little closer to them, "For the bouquet you sent. It was kind of you." 

"Oh!" She said, her smile a little brighter as he spoke, glad that Kankuro had actually delivered them, "It was no problem at all! I just wanted to thank you, for the papers and all."

"I was just doing my job," He said, looking back to her, "I didn't think that warranted a thanks."

Momoko's smile changed a little bit, now a little softer than it had been and maybe just a tad bit sheepish, "I know but...it still means a lot to me." She shifted on her feet before speaking again, 

"I didn't exactly get the best feedback when I wanted to come here," She said, looking away from him and to the flowers in the shop, "Sakura thought I was crazy, I think everyone at home did, even Naruto-" Momoko stopped herself, her brows furrowing so slightly that Gaara hardly even caught it. After just a second, she picked back up, "Even a few people here thought it was a bad idea, your brother included." 

"I apologize again for him," Gaara said, but she just offered him a smile and a shake of her head. 

"You don't have to apologize for anything, it's ok," She reassured, "I'll admit, even I was a little doubtful that it would even work. I mean, a flower shop in the desert?" She laughed softly, "That must have sounded crazy to you." 

"It was..." He stopped for a moment, trying to find the right word, "different." 

"Still though, you didn't tell me no." She commented, her eyes holding his, "You could have turned me away and told me it wouldn't work. You're the Kazekage, you had every right to. But you didn't. You signed the papers, you wished me luck, and you even picked the color for the shop." 

He watched the soft color that came to her cheeks as she looked away from him and to the rows of flowers in the shop. The look in her eyes was different now, softer and a little more tender than they had been before. 

"These flowers are everything I've ever known, they're my life," She said, her voice as soft as her eyes. "I know its just your job, but it meant the world to me. I can never thank you enough for that, Lord Kazekage." 

There had been a few times in his career as Kazekage that he had ever felt like he had really done something. Once was when he had spoken to thousands of ninja before they had gone into battle; he could remember the weight of pride on his chest when they had cheered out in union, their forces joined as one. He had been proud of himself that day, more proud than he could ever remember being. This wasn't the same magnitude as then, but Gaara could feel that familiar weight now.

Most of the time, his job consisted of paperwork that needed filling out or meetings that needed to be attended. He rarely got to see the effect his actions had on his people in such close proximity. But now with Momoko here, with that look in her eyes and those kind words for him, Gaara's chest felt heavy and tight all at the same time. It was almost like pride, but not quite. It made him feel warm and nervous, and he gripped just a little tighter at the hat in his hand. He usually didn't have a lot to say, but now he just didn't know what to say. 

"I'm sorry," She said, breaking the silence that had fallen on them. He noticed the blush still lingered on her cheeks, "I didn't mean to get so personal with you." 

"It's alright," He reassured her after another moment, "I'm glad I could help you." 

She offered him another soft smile as she looked back to him, and Gaara could only nod at the sight of it. Had they been in private, he may have smiled back. 

The silence this time was comfortable as he turned his eyes away from her to look at his siblings while they lingered a few isles away. They were closer than he remembered them being and he could see the way the two of them would glance up in their direction before whispering to each other. Gaara could see the sly smiles on their lips from here. 

"Did you like the bouquet?" Momoko asked, shifting the conversation to a less personal topic. 

"I did." He said as he turned his attention back to her, "They were very...colorful, but they were nice." 

"I thought they may be a little too bright," She said, a bashful little look on her face, "I'll make the next one with some darker flowers- maybe purple?" 

"The next one?" He questioned, a brow raised ever so slightly at the words. 

Momoko seemed to catch her own words and the blush on her cheeks darkened. She looked down at her apron and tugged on it again- Gaara noticed that she seemed to tug at her clothes when she was nervous or put on the spot. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that," She admitted, her voice shy, "You don't have to take any more bouquets." 

"No," He said, quick enough that it seemed to startle her a bit as she looked back up to him. Gaara cleared his throat and it was his turn to look away, "...It was nice to have something to liven up the office. I...wouldn't be opposed to more." 

Momoko almost gawked at the faint expression of embarrassment that crossed his features. It made her cheeks darken and she could feel the tops of her ears growing warm. A thought came to her head, one that almost made her feel silly, but she was vocalizing it before she even realized what she was saying. 

"I could bring you new flowers in the morning," She offered, her eyes trailing back down to her feet as she fumbled with the fabric of her apron in her hands, "Before the shop opens, I could drop them off... I-If you want, that is." 

"...I would like that." He said, and Momoko turned her gaze back up to meet him. 

He was finally looking at her again but now it was differently than he had before. It was a little softer now, like the way he looked at the flowers. 

"Then I'll be there, Lord Kazekage." She said. 

He shook his head at her words, "Gaara," He corrected her, "Just Gaara." 

She was almost surprised that he would allow her the informality of calling him by his name. The bowing she could understand, but dropping the title took her back a bit. Still though, Momoko didn't have any objections. Instead, she offered him the brightest smile she knew. 

"Just Momoko, then." She countered, and watched the way a glint briefly passed in his eye as he gently nodded at her words. 

"Alright little bro," Kankuro said from behind Gaara, "I think it's time we get out of the nice lady's hair." 

He turned to look at his siblings. They both had a cheeky little look on their faces, which only confirmed Gaara's idea that they had been watching the whole exchange the entire time. 

"It's really no problem," Momoko reassured them, turning her attention to the other two, "Don't feel rushed to leave." 

"You've had a long day, you probably wanna get to bed," Temari said before holding up her starter plant, "Let me pay for this and we'll head out." 

"Oh, don't worry about it," She said, waving her off, "You can just have it!" 

"I'm not just taking it," Temari insisted, "Let me pay."

"Really, don't worry about it!" She said, smiling again, "Think of it as thanks for coming by and checking out the store! It's an honor to have the Kazekage and his family visit." 

Temari huffed but gave in, "Well, if you insist. But I'm paying next time, and you can't stop me." 

"Deal!" Momoko said, chuckling at Temari's determination. She definitely liked her more than Kankuro. 

She gave Temari a few pointers on how to help the plant grow and flourish, oblivious to the way Kankuro grinned cheekily at Gaara and nudged him in the side. The Kazekage only rolled his eyes, unwilling to entertain whatever idea had rooted itself in Kankuro's head. 

"It was nice meeting you, Momoko," Temari said before she headed out the door, "Congratulations on the shop." 

"It was nice meeting you too! And thank you!" She called out to her as she left. 

"Catch ya later, Momoko," Kankuro said, bumping his hip against hers as he passed her and followed his sister out. She just rolled her eyes, but the smile stayed on her lips. 

Gaara was the last one to leave, but he lingered just a moment before he left. 

"I'll see you in the morning, then?" He asked, making sure his siblings were out the door before doing so. 

She smiled at him, as bright and kind as ever, "Of course! I'll see you then!" 

He nodded to her and went for the door, but stopped just before he walked out. Gaara looked back to her, taking in the sight of her smile and how she looked among the flowers, and for the first time in front of her, he smiled. It was soft and hesitant, almost not even there, but a smile nonetheless. 

"Congratulations, Momoko." 

The sight nearly took her breath away. He didn't seem like he smiled often, but he was doing so now, and Momoko felt that familiar heat in her cheeks and vaguely wondered if her heart had actually just skipped a beat or if she had only imagined it.

"Thank you, Gaara," She said softly, her smile never faltering, "For everything."

He left her alone to her flowers and her thoughts, with a feeling he had never felt before and a feeling she hadn't felt in years.


	10. An Arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the comments that were left on this story! Thanks so much for those who left them and if you haven’t, don’t be shy! Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you like this chapter!

Momoko wasn't nervous, per say, but she definitely felt a bit unsure when she woke up the next morning. It was still early outside, early enough that most of the village still slept and the streets were decently empty. The shop wasn't supposed to open for another hour or two- just enough time for her to get ready, put together a bouquet, and deliver it to the Kazekage. Remembering just who she was taking the flowers to made her pause and sit a little longer on the edge of her bed. Maybe it was nervousness? It was the Kazekage afterall; the embarrassment of having just blurted out that she would bring him more flowers the very next morning swelled up in her throat just like it had the moment she actually said it to him. Though he had given her an odd look, it was a relief when he had agreed nonetheless. 

After working up the nerve by giving herself a rather long pep-talk, Momoko hopped up from bed and set out to get ready for the day. She would have to work after she got back from delivering the flowers, and she should have kept that in mind when she picked out her clothes for the day. However, the fact that she was going to the Kazekage Tower made her want to put a little more effort into what she wore today. It occurred to her then that she's been putting more effort into her appearance a lot more recently; the thought of having so many things to look nice for made her happy. 

She settled on a knee-length sundress the color of strawberries, the hem decorated with little white ruffles. She wore a pair of pearl earrings with it and picked out white sandals as well. Momoko did her makeup like she usually chose to, but this time she put on lipstick the color of her dress. She didn't often wear lipstick, usually going for a gloss of some kind or nothing at all, but it just felt right this morning. Momoko was going to put her hair up in a high ponytail like she had the day before but after finishing her makeup, she found she rather liked the look of her hair down. Brushing through her hair left the waves loose and she admired the way they fell down to her waist. 

With getting ready out of the way, Momoko grabbed a few dorayaki that she had made the night before and made her way down to the shop. She still hadn't decided on what kind of flowers she wanted to bring him but did keep in mind that he didn't seem too fond of how bright the last bouquet had been. Of course he wouldn't care for the bright yellows and whites, she lightly scolded herself, so instead she focused on the darker blooms in her backroom. 

Daisies were too bright, as were sunflowers or daffodils. Roses seemed too romantic and tulips seemed too simple. She was almost stumped about what to give him, until a bundle of mapira lilies caught her eye. They were a deep maroon, almost purple, and they were fully open already. She only had the one bundle of them; they were beautiful, but not her most popular flower. They seemed more in the Kazekage's taste than the yellow globe flowers, so Momoko grabbed them and set to work arranging them. 

She was tempted to accent them with a few stems of baby's breath, but ultimately decided that more green would fit best. After fitting some bells-of-Ireland around the mapira lilies, Momoko set them into a clear vase and tied it up with a maroon ribbon. Not all of her bouquets were wrapped up with ribbons, but something about knowing it would sit on the Kazekage's desk made her want to dress it up a bit more. Once the bow was tied neatly around the vase, Momoko paused for a moment as her gaze shifted to the small stack of blank cards on the table. 

It probably wasn't necessary to write a card- these flowers were just-because, after all. They weren't thanking him this time or celebrating anything, they were just flowers for the sake of giving flowers. Still though, Momoko found herself grabbing a card from the stack as well as a pen. She thought for a moment before a little smile came to her lips and she jotted down her message on the little white card. After tucking it a little deeper in between the flowers, Momoko collected the vase and left the shop for the Kazekage Tower. 

Unlike last time, she wasn't stopped by any purple-painted jerk. The only interaction she had was with Sango, who waved to her from the other side of the market as she swept the stoop of her shop. The morning was still quiet and the sky was as blue as forget-me-nots. It was looking to be a rather nice day in Sunagakure and the thought of it added a little hop to her step. As glad as she was to be delivering flowers, she was looking forward to opening her shop again. She wasn't sure if it would be as busy today as it was yesterday, but she was excited all the same. 

When she arrived at the Kazekage Tower, she noticed the few odd looks she got as she came through the doors with her flowers. It almost made her a little uncomfortable to have so many curious eyes on her all at once, but she kept her head up as she approached the woman that sat at the front desk. 

"Good morning," She said as she offered her a smile, "I have flowers for the Kazekage," 

"Oh! You must be Momoko," The woman said, looking down at something on her desk briefly before looking back up at her, "You can go ahead up to his office!" 

Momoko was a little surprised that she knew who she was- whether it was because the Kazekage had actually mentioned her or because he had given her a pass right to his office, she wasn't sure. Nevertheless Momoko offered her another smile and a thanks before she made her way to the office, a little less worried about the eyes on her. Now her thoughts shifted to other things, like that fact that she was just a few steps away from seeing Gaara. 

She couldn't exactly pinpoint the cause of her nervousness, but whatever it was made her stop just outside of his door for a moment to smooth out her dress and fix any shifting the bouquet may have done on the walk here. Momoko almost felt silly, being so self conscious all of the sudden, but she knew she couldn't stand outside of the door forever. With a deep breath and a smile already finding its way to her lips, she knocked lightly on the door of his office. 

It had been a busy morning for the Kazekage, unusually so. He had been in a rather decent mood when he first came into the office, but the sight of the new stacks of paperwork on his desk had made that light mood vanish almost instantly. There were a few meetings today that he had to attend as well, as the receptionist had informed him when he first walked in. Gaara was used to a meeting or two a day, but there were four on this particular afternoon that he wasn't exactly looking forward to. They were simple recreational matters, but they would take a minimum of an hour a piece. He wasn't in a bad mood, per say, but the flower delivery had slipped from his mind easily as he began the tedious task of filling out the papers on his desk. 

He didn't even look up from the paper in front of him as he spoke a simple, "Enter," to whoever was on the other side of the door. 

His tone almost made Momoko's smile drop, but instead she pushed through that nervousness and entered the room. 

"Good morning, Gaara," She said as she stepped through the door, offering him a kind smile as she did so. 

The sound of her voice made him pause his work and actually look up from his work, his eyes shifting from her to the flowers, and back again. 

"Momoko," He greeted, setting his pen down, "Good morning." 

She stepped a little further into the room, and Gaara took a moment to appreciate her appearance today. The first thing that caught his attention was the way her pale blonde hair fell down her shoulders in loose waves. She had her hair up yesterday and when they first met, and though it had been down the night they met on the street, it had been dark and he hadn't been able to fully appreciate the pale blonde waves. Now in the daylight, with her chipper attitude and pretty red dress, Gaara was able to see how well her hair complimented her. His eyes did rest for a moment on her red lips; he wasn't used to seeing such a bold color on her lips, but he found it suited her rather well. All in all, Momoko looked rather nice today. 

He, on the other hand, looked a little more tired than she expected him to. Sure, his features and his eyes were still lovely, but there seemed to be a bit of a weight on his shoulders that hadn't been there yesterday. If she could take any guesses, she'd blame the thick stacks of paperwork that piled high on his desk. 

"Busy day, huh?" She asked as she stepped forward to his desk, setting the flowers on the unoccupied side. 

"Unfortunately," He replied, watching as she re-positioned a few of the blooms. 

He had to admit, these flowers were more to his liking. They were richer in color and darker in hue, and he didn't hesitate this time to reach out and feel a petal between his fingers once she had pulled away from it. 

"What are these called?" He asked, his eyes flickering from the flowers to watch the way her painted smile widened at his interest. 

"They're lilies," She said, "Mapira lilies, to be specific." 

"They're very nice," Gaara commented, finally withdrawing his hand from them. 

"I take it you like these more than the yellow ones?" She joked lightheartedly, earning herself a nod from the Kazekage. 

"I do," He agreed. 

"I'll try to keep that in mind," She replied, "I'll have to set some like these aside in case you come back to the shop again." 

An idea struck Momoko right then. It wasn't outlandish or anything of the sort, but it did take herself by surprise that she even thought it at all. She wasn't really one to overstep boundaries, but she was certainly one for fitting in acts of kindness whenever she could. Despite that, this didn't feel like just a good deed or kind idea. If she was honest with herself, the idea probably came from the bit of loneliness that had planted itself not too long ago. 

This was the first time in her life that Momoko didn't have a steady friendship or interaction with someone outside of business. She hadn't exactly gone out of her way to make new friends here in Suna, mostly because she had been so busy, but now that an opportunity seemed to come to her, Momoko felt compelled to try to set something into motion. Even if it was just simply bringing him flowers, it was a chance to talk to someone and possibly make a new friend. Seeing each other almost every other morning would definitely at least allow the chance for a friendship to bloom. With that in mind, Momoko spoke.

"You know...I could bring new flowers every few days," She offered, only meeting his eyes for a moment before looking back at the bouquet on his desk, "If you wouldn't mind, of course." 

He seemed to think about this for a moment, his eyes drifting back to the flowers and then to her. On one hand he didn't exactly need more flowers but on the other, maybe this was a chance to talk to her more. Gaara knew from the few times they interacted that her company was enjoyable; he thanked her warm personality and positivity for that. He wasn't usually one to branch out and make a friend, but that was something he was working on. Maybe if he could gradually get to know her over time, a friendship would come about naturally. The idea of possibly becoming friends with Momoko brought that odd feeling back that he had felt when he left the flower shop. 

"I would like that." He admitted, and he watched the way the nervousness left her face as it was quickly replaced with a smile. 

"That's great!" She replied, both relief and excitement clear in her words, "Then I'll definitely set some aside for you!" 

"I'll pay you for your time, of course." He added. 

"You don't have to do that," She said with a shake of her head, "It was my idea, and besides, I can spare a few flowers for the Kazekage!" 

He wanted to ask if she really could, seeing as though she had mentioned having to make trips back to Konoha to keep up inventory, but decided against it. Instead, he pressed on. 

"I insist," He reassured her, "Think of it as a continued investment in your shop." 

That brought a light blush to her cheeks, and she shifted a little on her feet. She wanted to grab at the fabric of her skirt, but fought the urge. 

"That's very kind of you, but it's really not necessary," 

"Please, Momoko," He said, the sound of her name making her eyes snap back to him, "Let me do this." 

She looked almost uncomfortable for a moment before finally giving in with a little sigh. Momoko seemed to realize that he wasn't going to budge, because she eventually relaxed a bit and the smile found its way back to her red lips. 

"Well, then...I guess I'll see you in a few days?" She said, offering him her smile. 

"A few days," He nodded in agreement. Her smile widened just a bit and she turned to head for the door. Before she left, though, she looked back at him with a smile. 

"Have a good day, Gaara!" She said, once again as cheerful as she had been when she entered. 

"You too, Momoko." 

She shut the door softly behind her, leaving Gaara alone once again with his stacks of paper and bouquet. He took a moment before getting back to work to look over the flowers once again. This time, he noticed the card tucked between the stems and pulled it out. His eyes skimmed over the wispy handwriting- a sight that he was growing more familiar with- and read the message she had written for him. 

'Good morning, Gaara!' It read, 'I hope you have a great day!' 

The words brought a soft smile to Gaara's lips, and he read it twice more before he opened the top drawer of his desk and set the card inside next to the last one. Once the drawer was closed, he turned his attention back to the papers and resumed his work. 

It seemed like it would be a good day after all.


	11. Lunch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter! Thanks for reading!

Much to Momoko's delight, the shop saw a steady flow of traffic. Of course the novelty of being a new shop, and a florist at that, wore off after the first week but that didn't stop people from frequenting the little blue shop. There was always some anniversary or birthday to be celebrated, or someone that hadn't been in the shop coming to see it for the first time. Suna was a large village, it would take a while before everyone got a chance to come see her flowers. Momoko was pleased with the constant flow of people that came to visit her; it kept her pockets happy and her spirits high. 

Just like she found a rhythm with her shop, Momoko found a rhythm with the Kazekage as well. Every few days she would come back to the office to replace his flowers just before they wilted, leaving a new card with a new little message each time. Gaara saved each one, tucking them away into the top drawer of his desk. She would take the old bouquet home with her and reuse the vase for his next one, the cycle repeating every time she came by. 

The woman at the front desk- Momoko learned her name was Hana- would greet her with a bright smile every time she came in. Momoko took to chatting with her for a few moments in the morning and after her first few trips to the Kazekage Tower, she had convinced Momoko to start bringing flowers for the front desk as well. She agreed happily, glad to see that her flowers were appreciated. Soon she was bringing in two bouquets: the brighter, smaller one for the front desk and the bigger, darker-colored one for Gaara. Hana was delighted with each new arrangement that Momoko brought her, and Momoko deemed it was safe to say she had made a friend in the Kazekage tower. 

Gaara must have noticed the additional bouquet in the lobby, because she saw a rise in the amount on the checks that she received in the mail from him. She had already tried to talk him down from the amount when she received the first check, trying to explain that it was far more than necessary, but Gaara just waved her off and kept filling out his paperwork. It wasn't an incredible amount, but it was more than she thought necessary. She wanted to argue the new price he was paying her for the second bouquet, but at that point she had reluctantly realized that nothing she would say could change his mind. Instead she thanked him, but not without making a light-hearted jab at his generosity. 

That was another rhythm they had fallen into. With each encounter that passed, they were growing more and more familiar with each other. Eventually Gaara told her she didn't have to knock when she entered and Momoko would grab him a cup of tea on her way up to his office. They would chat for a while, about their plans for the day or something that had recently happened that was interesting enough to bring up. Momoko did most of the talking, Gaara being content to just lean back in his chair and listen, but it was a nice way to start their mornings. She found herself rather looking forward to it, and the feeling was mutual. 

"Good morning, Momoko!" Hana greeted Momoko as she entered the building, her two bouquets secured in her hands. 

"Good morning, Hana!" Momoko replied, just as enthusiastic as the other woman had been. She set the new orange arrangement on the counter and Hana set the older bouquet behind the desk to make room for the new one. Momoko would grab the vase on her way out. 

"And who are these handsome fellows?" Hana asked, standing from her seat to smell the flowers. 

"These are tulips!" Momoko said, chuckling at her words. Hana was a fun individual, she had come to realize. She got to see that the more she came by. 

"Tulips," She hummed with a smile before sitting back down, "They're beautiful, Momoko. Thank you!" 

"You're welcome!" She replied with a grin, always happy to see just how much Hana liked her flowers. 

She bid the woman farewell before slipping past with the new bouquet and going upstairs. She stopped to grab a cup of tea for him (Matcha was his favorite, she learned from Hana) before heading to his office. She had to set the cup on the table outside of his door before opening it, then pick it back up so she could slip through.

"Good morning, Gaara!" She said cheerfully, using her foot to close the door behind her. 

Gaara had his chair turned from the door and to one of the windows behind him, looking out to the streets below. It was still early enough for the streets to be empty but he still liked looking out over them. The sound of Momoko coming in did make him turn his chair to face her and rise to take the cup of hot tea from her hand. 

"Good morning," He greeted, "And thank you for these." 

"You don't have to thank me every time," She teased lightly, setting the new bouquet beside the old one. She would take the old one with her on her way out. 

"I know I don't have to," He said, glancing at her from over the rim of the tea cup, "But I'll continue to do so." 

Momoko only shrugged in defeat but the smile still stayed on her lips. One of these days, she'd get him to loosen up a little bit more. They had fallen into a comfortable familiarity with each other recently, one that allowed Momoko to feel a little more at ease around him. It didn't feel like a business transaction every time they met now, a development she was rather thankful for. 

They talked for a little while longer, Momoko telling him the name of the flowers when he asked (Irises, this time) and all too soon it was time for her to take her leave. Just as she was about to see her way out, though, Temari came through the door. 

"Momoko," She greeted, looking a little surprised that she was here, "Good morning." 

"Good morning, Temari," She replied cheerfully, "It's nice to see you!" 

The blonde sand sibling turned to Gaara with an amused little glint in her eye, one that embarrassed Momoko a little when she realized it. Thank goodness it wasn't Kankuro, otherwise she didn't think she'd be able to leave the office without hearing an earful.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to let you know that I can't do lunch today," Temari told him. 

He didn't seem very fazed by this but did ask, "Why not?" 

"I've got to get a couple things done since we're heading to Konoha soon," She said, looking at Momoko who offered her a smile in return. 

"We?" He asked, his eyes shifting from his sister to Momoko. Her smile became a little sheepish now and she looked away from the Kazekage to stare down at her dress. Temari noticed this and drew his attention back to her. 

"We just talked about it yesterday, so it's a newer thing," She reassured him before that sly look came back to her eyes, "Now that you're free, why don't you two talk about it over lunch?" 

"Oh, I don't want to intrude," Momoko said quickly, her cheeks quickly coloring. 

"Nonsense," Temari said, ignoring the look her little brother was giving her, "His schedules all open now. Isn't it, Gaara?"

He wanted to scold her for interfering with his personal life (Was Momoko his personal life? He didn't have time to think about it right now) but didn't want Momoko to get the impression that he didn't want to have lunch with her. He did, but he was hoping something like that would happen on its own time rather than being put on the spot like this. Still, Gaara supposed he probably wouldn't have asked on his own, not for a while at least. He sighed but met Momoko's eyes, watching the way her cheeks seemed to color a little more under his gaze. Whether she blushed because of embarrassment or him, he couldn't tell. 

"I...wouldn't be opposed to the idea." He finally said, "Only if you would like to, that is." 

Momoko held the fabric of her dress tightly in her palms as she glanced from one sibling to the other. Temari looked rather smug, and Gaara looked a little uncomfortable. She almost wanted to say no for the sake of sparing both of them the embarrassment of this situation. But, she had to admit...the idea of having lunch with the Kazekage appealed to her. They didn't interact outside of the flower deliveries, but if he wasn't against meeting, she wasn't either.

She didn't want to get her hopes up in thinking that anything would come out of this. Of course she thought Gaara was attractive with his rich voice and handsome features, but there was a lot about him that she still didn't know. He didn't seem to be very big on emotion- the only time she had seen him smile was when he left her shop on opening day. At first she had thought he was just shy, but the more she interacted with him the more she began to think that maybe he just didn't know how to show emotion. It was odd, to say the least, and sometimes his blank stares or dull tones almost unnerved her. Still, he was always polite to her when they talked, sometimes even kind, and that was enough to interest her. 

Momoko wouldn't say she had a crush on him, she didn't know him well enough to feel that way. She pegged her occasional nervousness up to being around a new person that she just happened to find rather attractive. More than any possible romantic feelings though, the more she talked to him, the more she desired to be his friend. Maybe it was the few moments of kindness he showed her, or the continued interest in her flowers, but Gaara seemed to be on her mind a bit more often these days. Lunch may be just the thing they needed to get to know each other a little better. 

"I would like to," She agreed, glancing back up at him with a small smile. Though he made no outwards signs of it, something about his gaze seemed to relax a little. 

"Ok, then," He said, giving her a small nod, "Lunch." 

"There you go," Temari said, "Won't even notice that I'm gone!" 

The three of them talked for a bit longer, Momoko agreeing to pick something up on her way here for lunch and Temari going over a few parts of the trip with them since they were both here. It didn't last very long since Gaara still had work to do and Momoko had a shop to open, so she soon excused herself from the siblings, grabbed the old flowers, and slipped out of the office. The mischievous little smirk that spread on Temari's lips as she headed out didn't go unnoticed. Momoko stopped at the front desk and grabbed the old bouquet as well before she finally left to open her shop. 

Momoko found it rather hard to concentrate the next few hours. There was a good amount of people in the shop, all of which interacted with her while they came in, but she still couldn't give her full attention to the flowers today. She was nervous for lunch, honestly. It was the first time she and Gaara would really interact in a nonprofessional setting. The idea of changing her clothes briefly crossed her mind but it instantly made her feel silly. This wasn't a date, just a lunch. She didn't exactly look bad today, but she definitely wasn't as dressed up as she had been the past few times they met. Her makeup was light and pretty, and her simple shirt dress was a pale pink with little yellow buttons. She had braided her hair into two long braids and decided against jewelry for the day. As fun as it was to dress up, Momoko also appreciated a simple look sometimes. 

Above all else though, the nervousness and worries, Momoko had to admit that she was a little excited to spend time with him. It had been a while since she had spent time with someone else outside of business, or even shared a meal with someone. She didn't have siblings like he did, and Hana was the only person she could really consider a friend- even then, she used the term loosely. She usually just ate her lunch behind the counter and worked right though; eating with Gaara would be a pleasant change of pace. And who knows? Maybe something would come out of this. 

The thought of it made her smile the whole rest of the morning.


	12. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Father’s Day to those who celebrate and happy Sunday to those who don’t! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Don’t forget to comment, I love hearing your feedback!

When it finally came time to head back to the Kazekage tower, Momoko felt she couldn't lock the door fast enough. Of course she'd reopen after she returned from lunch, but for now she managed to catch a break between people to finally lock up for a bit. She looked over herself a couple times in the mirror, wiping away the bit of dirt that somehow got smudged against her cheek and rebraiding her blonde waves. Momoko straightened out her pale pink dress as best she could before finally approving of her appearance and leaving the shop with a newfound determination. 

They had agreed on something quick and easy, so on her way to his office Momoko picked up a few bento boxes from a stall in the market. It was hard to mess up bento boxes, and she had seen a good amount of people frequent the stall so she trusted the quality of it. They hadn't set a definite meeting time, just a general time frame, so she wasn't rushed to get there quickly. Despite that, she did walk a little faster than usual- she figured it was because of her excitement. 

It wasn't long before she reached the office, and the bewildered look Hana gave her made her snicker. 

"Momoko?" The woman asked as she approached the desk, "Did you forget something?" 

"Nope," She said, holding up the bag that contained the boxes with a sheepish little smile, "I'm here for lunch, actually." 

Hana looked even more surprised than she was before, "Lunch? With the Kazekage?" 

"I know," She said with a little chuckle, "It feels almost as weird as it sounds." 

"I just didn't take the Kazekage as the 'lunch' type," Hana said. 

"I don't think he is, but Temari kind of put him on the spot." Momoko confessed, a little embarrassed that she admitted it out loud. Saying it like that probably made it sound like neither of them actually wanted to have lunch so Momoko quickly added, "He still asked, though, and I'm not gonna turn the Kazekage down." 

"Well, I hope you enjoy yourself," Hana said, a teasing little smile now on her lips, "Not too much, though," 

The wink Hana gave her made Momoko blush and swat at her, which the woman dodged with a laugh. They talked for just a bit more- if you call Hana teasing her talking- before Momoko finally said goodbye so that she could make her way up to his office. 

This time, Momoko did knock. She didn't when she came by in the mornings, but afternoons were a new territory for her. When he called for her to enter, Momoko felt the nervousness from earlier begin to swell up in her chest. She did have to take a deep breath to get herself under control, but Momoko soon opened the door and stepped inside his office. 

The stack of papers on his desk was smaller than it had been when she was there this morning and had been set aside to leave most of the middle of the desk empty. There were two cups of tea sitting on the desk, one close to him and the other on the farther edge- the sight of it brought a smile to her lips. Like he had been this morning, Gaara's chair was facing away from her and to the window, looking down at the more populated streets of Suna. Briefly, she wondered if he was looking at anything in particular, but the thoughts quickly vanished as soon as he turned to her. 

She noticed he had taken off his official robes for this, leaving him in his long sleeved crimson coat and grey one-shouldered vest. It occurred to her then that she had never seen him outside of his robes, but it wasn't at all an unpleasant sight. Without the robes he didn't look as bulky, and the vest on top of his coat was fitted enough that Momoko could see his lean frame a little clearer. It was nothing to really blush over, but it was still a nice sight. 

"Hey again," She greeted with a smile, hoping the nervousness wasn't so apparent in her tone. 

"Hello, Momoko," He greeted her with a nod of his head before gesturing to her to sit in a chair across from his desk. 

She did so, pulling it up a little closer to the desk so that she could still reach the cup of tea that sat there for her. Momoko took the boxes out of the bag and handed him one, which he thanked her for. She set the empty bag in the free chair and took a seat in the other one. They said thanks for their meal before they started to eat. 

It was a comfortable silence, they were relieved to find. Momoko had forgotten about breakfast that morning, so she was glad to be able to eat for a moment before they started talking. Gaara seemed alright with the silence as well, because he ate his own meal quietly for a bit. Finally, though, he did speak. 

"You're going back to Konoha," He said, more a statement then a question. 

"I am, we leave the day after tomorrow" She replied with a little bob of her head, "The first week I was open was really busy. It was great, don't get me wrong, but it took up a lot more inventory than I thought it would." 

"You must be glad to be going home," He commented, which earned him a small smile from her. 

"I am," She agreed as he took a sip of his tea, "It's only been about three months, but it's felt like a whole lifetime. I've been so busy with the shop, time has just moved so fast." 

He wanted to agree with her, but it didn't feel like time had moved very fast at all for him personally. Gaara didn't exactly have much going on the past few months, but he was sure if he had they would have flown by as quickly as she had said they did. 

"Do your friends know you'll be coming back?" 

That did make her pause mid-bite and think about it. She did tell them she would be back sometime, but she supposed she had never specified when. 

"I don't think so, but I'm sure they'll be thrilled when I get there." She chuckled, "I'd be surprised if Sakura lets me leave again." 

"You're close with her, I assume?" 

She took a bite of her food and nodded, swallowing before she answered him, 

"She's my best friend." 

Gaara took a sip of his tea before saying, "I'm afraid I may have tried to take her life, once."

Momoko choked a bit on the bite in her mouth and forced it down so she could cough. His words- whether it was his casual delivery or what he was actually saying- startled her. She tried to search her memory for Sakura having ever told her about the instant. It took some digging, but she remembered Sakura telling her about a Suna ninja who had pinned her to a tree with sand during a fight at the Chunin Exams. It never really clicked until now that the ninja she talked about had been Gaara. 

"I'm sorry," He said, a little taken back by the surprised look on her face, "I assumed you knew." 

"I-I did," She reassured him, taking a sip of her tea to clear her throat, "I just didn't really put two and two together until now." 

Gaara went silent for a while, his eyes falling to look down at the cup of tea in front of him. She couldn't quite read the look in his eyes or the way he seemed to tense a bit, so she stayed silent as well. 

"Do you think less of me for it?" He eventually asked, drawing her attention back to him. He still wasn't looking at her but his shoulders seemed to be a bit stiff. 

She didn't reply right away, instead letting her eyes fall down to the bento box on the desk in front of her. Did she think less of him? She knew Gaara had a poor history, just from what she had heard from Naruto and around the village, but she hadn't given it too much thought until now. Now, it was something that had directly affected someone she cared about- he even admitted that he had tried to kill Sakura. 

It was a little hard to understand why it had taken her so long to connect Gaara to the sand ninja that team seven had spoken so poorly of all those years ago- mostly because the man across from her now didn't seem like the person they had described. They spoke of a blood-thirsty monster who wanted to kill everything in sight. Though Gaara seemed a little emotionally stunted, it was hard to imagine him as the violent shinobi she had once heard him described as. 

"No," She reassured him after a few moments, "I don't."

Gaara looked back up to find her smiling softly at him. 

"You don't?" He repeated, as though he expected her to take back her words. 

"Gaara, I..." She paused for a moment, trying to think of how to phrase her words before starting again, "I didn't know you then, I didn't know who you were or what you were going through. I still don't know exactly everything that happened, but I don't need to. I know you now, and that's all that matters."

As she spoke, Gaara seemed to relax a little. Though everything in his mind was telling him that she didn't mean those kind words, he felt the worries that had brewed inside him begin to slip away almost as quickly as they came. Recovering from years of mistrust and self-doubt made it a little hard to believe that she didn't think less of him because of his past, but her words seemed so sincere and her smile was just as kind as it always was. Part of trusting was believing, and Gaara decided he believed her. He let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. 

"Thank you," He said softly, almost too quiet for her to hear. 

She did hear him, though, and she gave him a soft smile. Momoko figured it wasn't often that he encountered people so willing to dismiss his past, but she would reassure him all he needed. 

He had done horrible things, she knew that from what she had heard. Some people may still see it as unforgivable, but Momoko felt he had already paid back the years of pain he had caused. Gaara had suffered, that was clear in the way he was so guarded when he interacted with people. Maybe a part of him would always regret the harm he brought to others, and he would probably spend the rest of his life trying to reverse the damage he'd done. So far, it looked like he was doing a damn good job of that. Somehow he had turned himself into the person he was now: a celebrated Kazekage, a loved sibling, and according to Naruto himself, a dear friend. Something must have changed for the better. 

Their lunch carried on in silence for a bit, but this time things felt a little different. It didn't feel like the uncomfortable time she had been expecting, or a stiff meal between acquaintances. After their brief moment of intimacy, it felt like they were just two friends enjoying lunch together. It brought a smile to her lips; Gaara must have noticed the pleasant shift in atmosphere as well, because he suddenly seemed more at ease than she had ever really seen him. Maybe it was the reassurance that she didn't harbor any ill feelings because of his past, or the fact that Gaara had even cared about her opinion at all, but they both felt that their moment of honesty had somehow shifted their dynamic for the better. 

They talked a few more times during their meal, mostly about little things like how the shop was doing so far today or how much paperwork he had left to do. She could have sworn he almost smiled at some point, but she didn't want to get her hopes too high. They were having a nice time, better than she could have hoped for. Part of her wished she could keep the shop closed for the rest of the day and stay with him a little longer. 

As much as she wanted to do that, Momoko knew that she couldn't distract him from the papers that sat on his desk. Soon their food was gone and their tea was finished, and Momoko found herself standing to leave for the day. Gaara decided that he'd walk her down to the doors, a gesture that made her blush a little but smile just as bright. They talked a little more about her trip to Konoha on their way downstairs, but Momoko couldn't help noticing the few odd looks they got from people that passed them in the halls. She didn't have any kind of outrageously vivid bouquet in her hands, so she didn't really understand what warranted their curious eyes. 

"Ignore them," Gaara said after noticing her discomfort with their stares, "They aren't used to seeing me with a friend." 

His words pulled her attention away from the people and right back to him. Hearing him confirm that he also felt they had developed a friendship made her heart flutter. She couldn't stop the wide grin on her lips, and it made her all the more thrilled to see the small smile that tugged at the corner of Gaara's lips. It vanished almost as soon as they entered the lobby, but Momoko was ecstatic to have even seen it at all. 

Hana gave her a large smile and a thumbs up as Momoko waved goodbye to her while they passed the front desk, and they stopped at the door just before she left. There were only a few people in the lobby, but Gaara's previous words made her completely uninterested in their curious gazes. 

"I'll be back from Konoha in a week or so, so I'll see you then?" She said, the smile never having left her face. 

He nodded, his eyes pleasant even though he didn't smile, "Until then," He said, before adding, "And if you could, tell Naruto I said hello." 

To his surprise, her smile dropped just a little at his words. It didn't last long though and she was quick to pick it right back up, but Gaara knew what he saw. Had they had more time, he would have asked about it. However, they both had duties to attend to that couldn't be pushed off any longer. 

"I will," She said, the light in her eyes not quite as bright as it had been moments ago- Gaara almost regretted having said anything at all.

Despite the mention of the blonde ninja, Momoko didn't want the last note she left her new friend on to be bitter. So she made herself perk right back up and offer him her hand. Almost immediately, his sand shifted to push her away. It pressed against her hand and gently nudged it back towards her, and to his surprise she only watched with fascination. At first he wanted to apologize for it, afraid that it had frightened her or made her uncomfortable in any way, but nothing about her curious eyes seemed hurt or offended. Instead she watched the sand curiously as it gave her hand one final nudge before it slipped away from her. Her eyes trailed from her hand to him, and she saw that he had been watching her intently. Deciding not to push her luck, and to defiantly ask about it later, Momoko let her hand drop. 

"I've never seen that before," She said, the curiosity clear in her words, "You'll have to tell me more about it when I come home." 

Gaara didn't smile back, but was relieved to see that she had not been frightened by it. 

"I will." 

She offered him a smile, that same beautiful smile that made her eyes seem so bright. He almost wanted to look away from it; some part of him felt that maybe he didn't deserve to be looked at like that. True, they were friends now, but this was only the beginning of what he hoped would be a strong friendship between the two of them. And the longer he looked at her smile, the more he realized that he could get use to it. 

"Goodbye, Gaara," She said, "I'll be back before you know it."

The weight in his chest was unfamiliar but not unpleasant. More than that, though, was the exciting warmth of a new friendship that spread through his heart.

"Goodbye, Momoko," He said, "I look forward to seeing you again." 

To her own surprise, a part of her hoped her trip back to Konoha flew right by.


	13. Just Visiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Don’t forget to comment and kudos! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

"So, you and Gaara?" Temari finally asked on the morning they were supposed to arrive in Konoha. 

They left for the Leaf village two days after she had said goodbye to Gaara. Temari had met her at the gates of Suna and after collecting her wagon for the flowers and making sure they had the supplies necessary for the trip, they set off. Originally Momoko had planned to hire a few Suna shinobi to escort her on the trip, but with Temari wanting to come along she no longer found it necessary. She had never seen the other woman fight before, but she was Gaara's sibling and that was all she needed to earn Momoko's trust. 

As they traveled, Momoko found that Temari was a rather serious individual. She only really talked to her when it was necessary on the first day of their trip, most of it spent in silence. Much to Momoko's delight, though, she was a little more talkative the next day, enough so to have a conversation over the fire when they set up camp. Now this morning the conversation came a little easier to them, and Momoko felt a little more comfortable with Temari than she had been at the start. 

They had woken early so they could reach Konoha quicker, and the morning had been spent exchanging little bits about themselves. The conversation had shifted from family, to mutual friends they shared in the Leaf, and then to a topic in the middle: Gaara. 

"We're friends," Momoko replied, a little smile on her lips as she did so. 

Since they had last met, Gaara's words had often crossed her mind: 'with a friend'. It was nice to finally call someone a friend after living in Suna for three months. Of course she thought of Hana as a friend of sorts, but there was something about her new relationship with Gaara that just felt a little more real. They had only had lunch the one time but Momoko wasn't embarrassed to admit that she planned on asking him to lunch again when they got home. It was such a warm feeling, looking forward to spending time with someone. 

"So I see," Temari commented, glancing over to watch the way Momoko smiled at the mention of it, "I've gotta say, I'm a little surprised. Gaara doesn't really do the friend thing." 

He had gotten better with people, that was undeniable. Gaara was far kinder and more interested in spending time with his siblings, a development both Kankuro and she were incredibly thankful for. Outside of family, though, he still struggled a bit. Besides Naruto, Gaara still had a hard time forming meaningful relationships with other people. Of course the village treated him with more kindness now and people weren't scared to approach or talk to him, but he had never gone out of his way to pursue anything more. He was still working out how to show emotion when he interacted with others, or really even smile around them, but no one was rushing him. He would improve at his own rate, and Temari was pleased to see he already has. 

Momoko shrugged, the smile on her lips now a little sheepish. 

"I could kind of tell, but...I haven't exactly made a new friend in a while, so I guess we both have some learning to do." 

Having grown up around friends her whole life, Momoko didn't really remember how to make them- they were always just there. That was why she struggled a bit when she came to Suna, and for a while it worried her that she may not make any friends anytime soon. Luckily, the opportunity to bring Gaara flowers came along and from there came this. They weren't the best of friends or really too close yet, but with a little more time and effort, Momoko was sure their bond would only strengthen. 

"It's nice to see he's finally starting to let other people in, " Temari finally said, "Having a friend will be good for him."

The rest of the walk to Konoha was the most pleasant part of the trip, as they talked freely and consistently the whole time. Temari quickly saw what Gaara did: Momoko was kind, incredibly so, and her presence was warm and genuine. It almost surprised her that she hadn't made more friends in Suna yet. As stoic as Temari could be, even she couldn't stop the smiles that came to her lips while they talked. 

By late afternoon, they reached the gates of Konoha. Momoko stopped in front of them to take it in, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. It had felt like so long and yet only seconds since the last time she saw it. It almost felt like they weren't even here, like she was just looking at a picture of the gates and not the actual thing. Just as the thought crossed her mind though, she felt the cool wind and saw the way fallen leaves danced in it, and felt all at once like she was home again. 

"Come on," Temari said, motioning her forward, "I'm sure your friends would like to see you." 

The thought of them made her grin and she continued walking again, this time a little quicker than she had been before. As much as she had grown to love her life in Suna, Momoko was beyond thrilled to be back in Konoha. She had missed it more than she realized.

Yamanaka Flowers had been the first stop after checking into an Inn in the village. They had set their things in their respective rooms before heading out. Temari had other things she wanted to do while in Konoha so they agreed to meet later for dinner before parting ways. The shop was set to close in an hour or so, but it was more than enough time to see her friend and arrange for the inventory that Ino had set aside to be dealt with. More than the business end, Momoko was just happy to see a familiar face. 

Ino didn't immediately look up from the customer she was helping, so it was Inoichi that noticed her first. 

"Well look who it is," The man said from behind the counter, his smile as kind as Momoko remembered it being, "Welcome back, Momoko."

The sound of her name made Ino perk right up and she looked over her shoulder to see her friend standing in the doorway. She instantly smiled at the sight of her, quickly excusing herself from the customer she had been talking to for the sake of hurrying to Momoko's side. They hugged tightly in the doorway of the shop, and Momoko relished in the feeling of being in someone's embrace again. She noticed, sadly, that this was the first time she had hugged someone since she had moved away. 

"Momoko!" Ino said happily once they finally pulled away, "I didn't know you were coming!" 

"Sorry about that," She chuckled, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You? Never!" Ino joked, and they both shared a warm laugh. Momoko didn't realize until right then just how much she had missed friendly affection. 

Momoko stayed at the shop until it closed and they discussed what inventory had been set aside for her. To her delight, it was more than she had expected and she was beyond grateful for it. It would save her another trip to Konoha for a few months at least, and Momoko was thrilled to see a few more bundles of the maroon lilies Gaara liked were in the mix. They arranged for her wagon to be brought to the shop the morning after next when she and Temari were scheduled to leave. After having to turn Ino down on dinner because of her pre-existing plans, Momoko agreed to breakfast in the morning and left with a wide smile on her lips. 

Walking through the streets of Konoha felt almost odd. Of course she knew them by heart, and the few people that recognized her on the street were just as kind as she remembered them, but there was a strange feeling that something was just...missing. It was the same village she had once called home, with its familiar shops and kind faces, but something about it felt distant now, like she didn't fit in as well as she used to. Maybe it was because she had been away for so long, or because she no longer called this home, but Momoko was sad to realize that she felt like nothing more than a visitor here. It dampened her mood a little, but she didn't let it ruin it. She was determined to enjoy the next few days here, and that hope was quickly fulfilled when she heard her name being called from the other side of the street.

"Momoko!" Sakura called, already making a run towards her. 

The grin that spread on her lips was instant, and Momoko hurried to meet her in the middle. When they finally met, they held each other closer than they ever had before. It felt like a weight was instantly lifted off her shoulders the moment she was in Sakura's embrace, taking in the scent of cherry blossoms that she had loved all her life. Just like she had felt when she saw Ino, Momoko became so aware of just how much she had missed having a friend that she could hug and laugh with. In the back of her mind, she wondered if Gaara would ever let her hold him like this. 

Tears sprung up in her eyes before she had even realized it, and she was relieved to see that there were also some in Sakura's when they pulled away from each other. Both of them laughed a little bit at the sight, still loosely holding onto each other. 

"Glad to see me?" Momoko laughed, wiping at her wet eyes. 

"You have no idea!" Sakura exclaimed with a smile, also wiping at hers. 

"Momoko!" 

The voice made her go tense in Sakura's arms, but the other girl must not have noticed it because she turned right around to scold Naruto as he approached. 

"Naruto! You're right next to us, you don't have to yell!" She barked at him, but he only snickered in response before turning his eyes to focus on the blonde girl in front of him. 

Part of her had expected him to change in their time apart- grow taller, cut his hair, mature in some way. But here he was with the wide grin she had known all her life and the blue eyes Momoko had memorized every look of, no different than the moment she had left the village in the first place. Another part of her, a silly, childish part, had hoped that something would have changed in him, just so seeing him again didn't feel like it did now.

It felt like she was 16 again, seeing him standing at the edge of the flower field just as he had all those years ago. So much time has passed, so much of their lives had changed, and yet his smile was just as bright as it had always been. Momoko didn't expect to be so affected by seeing him, but she felt her words caught in her throat like they had the first time they met.

"You're home!" He said happily, reaching to pull her into his arms.

But she didn't move right into them like she used to, and Naruto seemed to notice this because he stopped mid-reach. She saw a small flicker of sadness pass his eyes as he lowered his arms, but he quickly covered it up with another smile, this one softer. 

"It's...It's good to see you Momo." 

"It's good to see you too," She said softly a moment later, a hesitant little smile on her lips. 

Whether it was because she didn't want their reunion to start on a sour note, or she wanted to avoid a heart to heart right then and there, Sakura was quick to grab her attention again. 

"How long are you here for?" She asked excitedly, holding Momoko's hands in hers. The blonde woman was glad for the change of topic. 

"Just until the day after tomorrow," She said, her smile becoming easier as she focused her attention on Sakura, "The flowers can't sit around for too long before we've gotta get back on the road." 

Sakura huffed, but didn't argue, "Next time, you should plan to stay longer! A day and a half isn't nearly enough time to catch up!" 

The three of them walked through the street and fell into the rhythm they had known all of their lives. Despite the sore greeting, Naruto made his way back into the conversation and Momoko soon relaxed back into the familiar feeling of being in the company of good friends. They walked with her to where she and Temari had planned to meet, taking their time as they tried to fit three months into twenty minutes. Of course they would see each other tomorrow, as Sakura quickly informed her, but the excitement of being in old company kept the conversation lively and never ending. Sakura and Momoko walked with linked arms, and Naruto was content to just walk on the blonde's other side. Right then, she didn't feel like such an outsider anymore.

"There you are!" Temari called out to her as the three of them neared their meeting point, and Momoko was quick to share her smile. 

"Hey Temari," Sakura said, "Its nice to see you again!" 

"Temari! Long time no see!" Naruto greeted with a grin, "How have you been?" 

To Momoko's surprise, Temari didn't seem to mind Naruto's volume all that much. She even smiled when they finally stopped in front of her. 

"I can't complain," She said with a shrug, "Things have been pretty smooth lately," 

"That's good to hear," He said with a chuckle, "How's Gaara doing these days?" 

Momoko was instantly embarrassed by the sly look that came to Temari's face as her eyes landed on her. She could feel her cheeks color under the gaze. 

"You should be asking Momoko that," She teased, "They're friends now, you know." 

"That doesn't surprise me one bit!" He laughed, "If anyone can get Gaara out of his shell, it's probably her. She's got a knack for jinchurikis, huh Momo?" 

If her cheeks weren't red before, they certainly were now. 

"Naruto," She groaned, oblivious to the way Temari watched the two of them just a little closer, "You don't have to say it like I collect them or something!" 

That made Sakura and Naruto laugh, and even Temari cracked a little snicker. The four of them stood there for a little while longer, all of them catching up in their own ways. It was nice seeing Temari interact with old friends, for a while she didn't seem as tough as she always acted. On the other hand, Temari thought it was rather sweet to see how Momoko almost glowed when she talked to the leaf ninja. She hoped she glowed like that for Gaara, too.


	14. Quiet Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

The last of the irises had wilted yesterday and Gaara couldn't help but notice how empty his office felt. He had waited until the very last one was dead, and even a little after that, before reluctantly throwing the dead flowers away. The room wasn't very decorated to begin with so Momoko's flowers had done wonders to bring life to the room- literally. The politicians or shinobi that came to him the past week or so always complimented the flowers that sat on his desk. Gaara never failed to tell them where they came from, in hopes to send just a few more customers her way.

It was also strange to come through the doors in the morning and not see flowers at the front desk either. The lobby was a little more easy on the eyes than his office was, but there was something about the bright collection of blooms on the front desk that really made the room seem brighter. It was a pleasant sight to visitors that came through the doors, and though Gaara preferred his personal bouquets, he always enjoyed seeing the ones downstairs. Hana did seem a little less cheerful, though; whether it was the flowers or Momoko she missed, he couldn't tell.

As well as the lack of flowers, Gaara was rather aware of how quiet the mornings in the Kazekage Tower had been. They had only had the delivery arrangement for about two weeks now, but Gaara gotten used to her coming through his door with a cheerful 'Good Morning!'. Of course they only saw each other every other day, but after the second of not seeing her and her flowers, the morning seemed like the longest part of the day.

Since she had been gone, he must have thought of her at least a hundred times. As he filled out paperwork, his mind would wander to the swirls and curves of her hand writing. Once in a while his thoughts would replay her words, and he could hear her saying _'I know you now, and that's all that matters'_ over and over like a broken record.

He had never felt it before, but he was sure this was what it meant to miss someone. True, their friendship was still new and there was still so much they didn't know about each other, but that didn't mean her presence wasn't missed. Gaara had come to enjoy their mornings together and after their lunch, he rather looked forward to being able to see her in the afternoons as well. It was almost unfair, to finally take the first step in their friendship only to have to separate immediately afterwards. Once she was home, he would make it a point to extend a continuous invitation to lunch.

For now, though, he would have to settle on other company. Temari was usually the one to bring him lunch and sit with him, but she was gone with Momoko. Once in a while Kankuro would join them but he was almost always busy in his workshop, tinkering away at whatever new puppet had his attention. Of course Gaara didn't mind eating lunch alone, but now that he knew how pleasant it was to eat with a friend, lunch on his own felt rather dull. Temari must have said something to Kankuro, though, because Gaara found his brother in his office for lunch more often these past few days than he ever had.

Today was one of those days, and around noon Kankuro came bursting through his door with lunch in hand. At first, the sound of the door opening without having followed any knocking made Gaara perk up a bit, thinking that maybe Momoko had come home early. But the purple paint and double pointed black hood made him turn his attention back to the papers on his desk.

"Lunch time!" Kankuro announced, holding the bags up as he made his way over to the desk, "Put all that away, lets eat!"

Gaara grunted but reluctantly set his pen down before clearing a space on his desk for the food his brother had brought. His papers were stacked neatly to the side and Kankuro passed his food over to him before pulling a chair closer and taking a seat.

"You finally got rid of those flowers, I see," Kankuro commented, looking at the empty space on the corner of his desk as he opened his lunch.

"They died." Gaara replied, opening the container in front of him.

"Kinda weird seeing the desk without them, huh?" He leaned back in his chair as he began to eat. Gaara only nodded before starting his lunch as well.

They continued on their conversations for a while, Gaara asking how his puppets were coming out and Kankuro asking how much paperwork he had left. They also had to figure out dinner tonight; it wasn't often they were left without Temari for so long, but when they were, plans always felt so scrambled together. He and Kakuro did just fine on their own and got along rather well, but it was usually Temari in charge of the dinner plans. Still though, they managed to pull something together and decided they'd order in for the fifth night in a row. Gaara was glad Temari was coming back in two days, because he couldn't stand takeout for much longer.

"What's your deal with Momoko, anyway?" Kankuro asked when the conversation shifted to the girls' return.

It wasn't that Gaara was uncomfortable talking about such things with him, but there were certain precautions that needed to be taken when talking to Kankuro. It didn't help that he had already talked about he and Momoko's wedding, so Gaara needed to choose his words carefully.

"We're friends." Gaara commented before taking a drink of water from the bottle that sat on his desk.

"Friends?" Kankuro asked again, a painted eyebrow raised at his younger brother.

"It's still new," Gaara said, avoiding his eyes as he focused on the meal in front of him.

Kankuro stayed quiet for a moment, watching the way Gaara didn't look at him or really elaborate. Of course he wanted to pick fun at him, but he was smart enough to know that wasn't the best way to approach this. More than he wanted to joke, Kankuro was happy to hear that Gaara had found himself someone to consider a friend all on his own. He always expected he or Temari would have to coax him into letting someone in, but here he had done so right under their noses.

"That's really great, Gaara," He replied sincerely, offering his brother a smile, "Having a friend will be good for you."

As much as he disliked how sometimes his older siblings would talk to him like he was an awkward child, it didn't bother him so much right then. Since he had come back from the attack on Konoha, he had focused more time on mending his relationship with his siblings than anything else. Of course he had put the effort into being kinder to everyone and becoming a strong leader for his village, but there were still some personal matters that Gaara wasn't quite sure how to approach. Kankuro's positive feedback was encouraging, to say the least.

"I'm glad you think so," Gaara said, "But don't think this gives you a pass to pick fun at her any further."

Kankuro snickered as he ate his lunch.

"Look at you, playing her knight in shining armor already," Kankuro joked, "Don't worry Gaara, I'll play nice."

Gaara only nodded in return and tried to focus back on finishing the meal in front of him. Kankuro, on the other hand, wasn't quite done talking.

"I guess that means you're pretty excited for her to come home," Kankuro stated through a bite of food in his mouth. Gaara curled his lip slightly at the sight but refrained from commenting on it.

"I wouldn't say excited," He said, "But I look forward to it."

"Maybe she could come to dinner with all of us sometime," Kankuro said once he swallowed the food in his mouth, "Hopefully she hasn't pissed off Temari on their trip."

"I doubt she has." Gaara replied, taking the last drink of his water, "Momoko seems the type to make friends with everyone."

"Kind reminds you of Naruto, doesn't it? She sure smiles like him."

His words reminded Gaara of how she had acted when he last saw her, specifically the way she had seemed to flinch at the mention of the Konoha shinobi. It was curious that she had reacted like that, especially towards someone who was rather well liked. He would have to ask her how she knew him, but only once they had gotten closer.

"It does." He admitted, "She isn't nearly as loud though, thankfully."

Kankuro nodded with a snicker, "Yea, _thankfully_."

That was the last time they talked about Momoko that afternoon, their conversation shifting back to other things. Soon Kankuro finished his own meal and collected their dirtied dishes before wishing his brother goodbye, leaving Gaara alone in his dull office once again.

The silence felt a little heavier this time, and as much as he needed to pick up his pen and resume his work, his motivation vanished every time he even looked at the papers. Instead, the Kazekage turned away from his desk and to the windows that lined the wall behind him. He scooted his chair just a bit closer and watched the world outside, how the people roamed the streets and the wind occasionally caught the sand. It was another nice day with blue skies and billowing clouds- Momoko would have liked it.

He found that he had done that a lot these past few days: taking notice of things she would like. On his way home the other night he noticed how the stars had looked and remembered how she had bumped into Kankuro while looking at them the night they had met on the street. In the mornings on his way to work he passed a home that had a potted flower on their window sill, one Gaara recognized from her shop. There were little things all around him that suddenly reminded him of her- he almost felt like he was going just a little crazy.

If he looked hard enough from his window, he could see a splash of light blue in the marketplace. Being the center of the village and facing the market, Gaara had a rather good view of things. She had put a sign up saying she would be gone for the week, and he found himself wondering if anyone missed the shop already. He had only been there once, and he felt like he did. No- he quickly corrected himself- he missed _her_.

Gaara turned away from the window and opened the top drawer of his desk, reaching in to pull out the top card on the small stack that sat inside. It was the last one she had given him, the one that came with the irises. He had kept every one of the cards she wrote, reading them at least twice before he tucked them away with a small smile. The last card she had written, the most recent one, had been his favorite so far.

_'I can't wait to see you again, Gaara!' It read, 'I'll be home soon!'_

Just as he had the first time, Gaara read the card twice over. He had probably memorized her wispy handwriting by now and the sight of it made him smile. He flipped the card over and found the neat label of her shop, a contrast to the handwriting on the other side. Gaara looked back to the window as he held the card in his hands, his eyes falling back onto the light blue blur in the distance, and the gentle smile never left his lips.

Maybe he _was_ excited for her to come home.


	15. How to Breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for an ANGSTY chapter because boy am I in my feels right now.
> 
> I actually had to go back and add this in, because as I was rereading the chapters there just felt like an odd gap in time. So just a warning, this chapter has a LOT of Naruto romance. 
> 
> I hope you guys like it and don't hate me afterwards! Smooches!

"Walk with me?"

She had dreaded this moment since she had seen him again in the streets. Before they had departed last night, Naruto had asked her privately if they could see each other after she was done seeing the rest of her friends. Hesitantly, she had agreed. As promised, she had spent the second day in Konoha glued to Sakura's side as they made up for the time that had passed. Once in a while her thoughts would linger to her meeting with Naruto later, but Sakura would pull her right out of it with a story about a mission or something pretty she saw in the shop window. It was fun to see her friend again, but it came to an end far too quickly when Momoko found herself facing Naruto as he waited for her outside of the inn where she and Temari were staying. The sun had dropped from the sky already, but the early evening was still bright with the last few beams of light.

"Sure."

She took a familiar spot at his side and they began their walk. It was silent for a bit, the only noises being the sound of their own footsteps or the occasional child being nudged into their homes by worried mothers.The bugs of the night started their symphony as the sky darkened, and if it weren't for the company, she may have found it peaceful.

"How do you like Suna?" He finally asked, breaking the silence.

"I like it a lot," She answered truthfully, "It's hotter than I'm used to but they appreciate my flowers, and the people are kind."

"You've probably made friends with everyone by now?" He snickered, and she gave a small smile in return.

"Not everyone, just a few." She said, finally starting to feel a little more comfortable, "I like Temari, and I think I'm friends with the receptionist in the Kazekage Tower. Her name is Hana."

"The Kazekage Tower, huh?" He mused, "Temari did say you and Gaara were friends."

"I'd like to think we are. I bring him flowers every few days."

"I didn't think Gaara was a flower kind of guy," Naruto snickered, and she offered him a sheepish little smile.

"I didn't think he was either," She agreed, and the light blush that came to her cheeks didn't go unnoticed, "But I don't mind."

Naruto was silent for a moment, noticing how her eyes softened in a way that made his heart ache with familiarity. Her smile was warmer now, and the color on her cheeks was still here.

He didn't care for that look at all.

"He says Hi, by the way." She said, glancing back up at him.

Naruto offered her a little smile too, but the odd pit in his stomach never left.

"Tell him I said Hi, too."

Soon the road beneath their shoes turned to dirt, and their feet led them down a path they hadn't walked in years. It must have been a subconscious action, because neither of them really realized where they were until they came to the edge of the field that covered the small hill. In the last few rays of the dying sunlight, they could see that not much has changed. The tall grass still swayed in the soft breeze, and the wildflowers that grew there were in bloom. Maybe it was the nostalgia, or the surprise of seeing this important place again, but a silence fell between them.

They stood at the edge of the field and just watched for a moment: the way the breeze plucked and carried petals from the flowers, the calmness of the evening as the light finally died out. Fireflies had started to make their way out into the open, and she watched the way they danced through the tall grass and replaced the light of day with their own illumination. The last time they had been here, it was morning and the sun was bright above their heads. This time was different, though. Everything looked and felt the same, from the blooming flowers to the warm breeze, but there was something off that Momoko couldn't quite place.

Naruto stepped in front of her and offered her a smile she hadn't seen in years, and held a hand out for her to take. She turned her eyes from the field to him, to that smile that had painted her memories and then to the hand she had long since memorized the touch of. It must have been the fondness of this place, or the tenderness of the memory, because Momoko slid her hand into his and let him pull her through the tall grass.

She watched the flowers that passed them by, and when she closed her eyes she could remember the feeling of the dirt beneath her feet that day. In her ears she could hear his voice, and when she turned back to look at the edge of the field as Naruto guided them through, she could still see him standing at the bottom of the hill, just a little beyond the wildflowers. It was only a memory, she knew, but she could see him there as clearly as she had so long ago. He was staring at her, that look in his sapphire eyes that she knew so well. She stared right back at the memory, daring it to follow like she knew he had, but when he took his first step the breeze came through and carried the memory away. No one was there, and Momoko was brought back to the present with the feeling of Naruto's hand in her own.

They stopped at the top of the hill, right beside a large stone that had always been there, and Momoko remembered that the flowers in her basket had fallen in front of it when she had dropped everything. She could remember the way he had lifted her feet from the ground when he took her into his arms, the basket and blooms long forgotten. 

"Do you remember this place?" He asked, and it wasn't until then that she realized they had stopped walking.

She looked away from the stone, from the phantom images of spilled flowers, and looked back at him.

He was remembering everything, too. She could tell by the tenderness that clouded his eyes and the way he still held her hand in his own. Naruto was never one for silence, but here in the field of their memories, he was quiet, soft.

"I do." She said, barely above a whisper as she held his eyes.

They stood there for a moment, letting the warm breeze bellow through their hair and dance with the skirt of her dress. She remembered the feeling of his lips against hers for the very first time, as he lifted her from the ground and held her closer than she could ever remember being held. The warmth of his hand in hers was comfortable, familiar, but it was cold in comparison to the embrace they shared that day.

She hadn't thought about it much since she left Konoha. Her mind had pushed away him, this place, and every moment of affection they had ever shared. It was easier to leave him behind when he was in the past, but now he was here, with her hand in his, and it became incredibly hard to forget the way he always used to make her heart feel.

They sat in the field side by side for a while, their hands still clasped together as they lost themselves in a time that had long since passed. It felt like they were kids again, like nothing had changed at all in the time apart. She had pushed him away when they met yesterday in the street, but now the world around them almost seemed to encourage them to take a moment and remember who and what they were. And that was exactly what they did.

"Why did you leave?" He finally asked, just as Momoko had thought he would.

She hadn't given him a good enough reason when she had left. She wanted a new life, that was true, but she didn't share the details with him like she used to. In the last few days together she had drifted further and further away from him, until finally it almost felt like he was holding a stranger the morning she departed. It felt sudden, without warning, and she knew that one day he would ask again. This time, she would answer.

"I couldn't stay here," She said, watching the blades of grass dance, "After my parents died, everything just felt so...meaningless. The house was so quiet without them, and the shop felt so big and empty. I felt alone."

"You were never alone," He reassured her, holding her hand just a little tighter, "You had Sakura, and Ino...you had me."

"Did I?" She asked softly, and she could see the confusion on his face.

"You left, Naruto. For almost three years."

"I was training," He defended himself, "I had to go."

"I know you had to, and that's my point." She slipped her hand out of his, and turned her eyes away from him to look back to the field.

"I realized a little after you left that there will always be something you have to do, some great enemy or some important mission that will need you. You're a shinobi, that's your duty," She felt her eyes begin to fill with tears, but she went on. "I spent the first year just waiting for you. And it was the hardest thing I've ever done. To stand and watch the gates, not even knowing if you were alive or not. And then I realized that I will always be waiting for you."

"I...I don't understand."

"I'm not a shinobi, Naruto. I can't come with you, I can't fight by your side. I can only sit and hope to god nothing has happened to you." She almost choked on her words, "That feeling of helplessness is suffocating, like I couldn't breath or ever get enough air. It was worse than anything I had felt before, knowing you were out there in the world and that I could lose you at any moment. All it takes is someone stronger than you, and you're gone forever. A-And I realized that...that would be my life, if I stayed."

"Momoko-"

"Please, just let me talk." She said, and though he frowned, he let her go on.

"I was the happiest I've ever been when you're home, but when you're not, its torture. I can't think straight and I forget about everything else but you. My parents had to get me out of bed each morning and push me out of the house, because I didn't have the strength to do it myself most days. It was the worst time of my life, when you were gone. But then you came home and I realized that there was nothing stopping you from leaving again, and I couldn't go through that all over again."

"I'm so sorry, Momoko," He said, and she heard the sincerity in his words, "I never wanted you to feel like that."

"I know you didn't, but it happened anyway." Momoko said, wiping away the tears that fell, "I know how I am around you, and I knew that once you came home I would be so happy to see you again that I would forget how hard those three years were on me. So I made myself focus on me and not you, and I learned to breathe again." She looked at him, and he watched her every move, "We have different plans for ourselves and what we want for our lives. I can't- I won't put you before me. I love you, Naruto, and I always will. But I can't lose myself to keep you."

They fell silent again, and the world around them carried on just as it always had. She wiped the last of the tears from her eyes and looked back to find that his own had just started to fall. He watched her, and she never turned her eyes away for a moment. It took him some time to find the words, but soon he spoke with a determination she didn't expect.

"I know how you felt when I left back then, because that's how I feel now. That's been every day of my life since you moved to Suna. I can't focus on missions, I can't even look at flowers without seeing you. I understand now why it was so hard for you, and why you felt like you had to leave, but now that I know, now that I've felt the same thing, I think that...that there's still a chance."

"Naruto-" She sighed, but he cut her off.

"I won't go off for anymore training again, or take any missions that need me gone for too long. If it means keeping you in my life, I'll try," He turned to face her and took both of her hands in his own, "You and I have always found our way back to each other, no matter how far apart we are. Maybe now is just more space between finding each other again."

Truthfully, she didn't know what to say.

As he had said, they did somehow manage to always come back together. After the fever of the Chunin Exams and Suna's betrayal, they were able to acknowledge their childhood crushes for the first time. Then Sasuke had left and they were distanced again, only for him to come home and reunite with her just as he had before. Even when he left to train with Jiraya and the distance took a toll on her, she still welcomed him back into her heart for a little while. They saw each other again in this very field after three long years, and Momoko forgot every minute of it when he kissed her for the very first time. Though the joy of him coming back did wear off and Momoko had forced herself to remember the hardships she had faced because of it, they had still reconnected in some way.

But she didn't want this to come at a price. She didn't want either of them to have to make sacrifices so that this could work. They weren't just extensions of each other, they were their own people with dreams and plans.

"I don't want either of us to have to change our dreams so this could work," She said, looking away from the intensity of his sad eyes. It was a strange look on him, and it made her stomach turn, "I know how much you love being a shinobi, I couldn't ask you to stop doing that for my sake. Would you even be happy like that?"

"I would be happy with you."

"You won't regret missing so many opportunities because of me?"

He fell silent again, and she thought she had gotten her point across until he spoke again.

"Please, Momoko," He said softly, barely above a whisper,"Don't say this is really over. Not yet."

Once again, she was left without words. Maybe they would find their way back to each other again. They had done it time and time again. Maybe it was just the fact that he was right here in front of her and holding her hands, looking at her with so much sadness and hope, that she couldn't bring herself to fully reject him.She was so determined to forget about him and what they had, but being here in the field she felt her resolve slipping away. Momoko knew she would look back at this moment and hate herself for caving, but his hands were so warm and his words were so desperate, that she let herself slip back into the old habits that had damned her in the first place. This was what he did to her: made her forget all of the boundaries she had set. She forgot about herself, and focused on him.

"Maybe one day..." She said softly, and that was all he needed.

She let him kiss her again, just as he had so long ago. The feeling of his lips on hers and his hands running through her loose hair was enough to make the last of her resolve slip away for a moment and they fell back into the dance they had danced their whole lives. His lips were warm and his embrace was familiar, but...

She realized then, what had changed about this place. It wasn't the time that had passed or the time of day they visited. It was them. Because as warm as his lips were and as familiar as his embrace was, it didn't come close to the moment they had shared back then. Maybe it was only she that had changed, because when she opened her eyes during the kiss, his stayed shut. Her grip on his hands had loosened but his stayed firm. He kissed her like nothing had changed, but all she could feel now was the time they had spent apart.

And oddly enough, she thought of Gaara right then. Of the way he had smiled for the very first time in her shop and the way her heart had dropped to her stomach. For some reason that small smile was in the back of her mind as she sat in the field with Naruto. And it was then that she realized that she had lied when she said maybe. Because if there truly was a maybe, she wouldn't be thinking of anyone else right now.

Naruto held her hand as he walked her back to the inn that night, and she let him do so with a hollow feeling in her stomach. She still smiled at him and joined the conversation, but in the back of her mind the guilt of her lie lingered. A part of Momoko still loved him, of course, but her momentary lapse of judgement didn't sway her as much as she feared it would.

After he leaned down and kissed her goodnight, she could stand the sight of him walking away from her. She knew it was truly over for her right then, because she could breath just fine when he disappeared from her sight.


	16. Welcome Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just googled how to repot a flower, so if some things are wrong-sue me 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and for the comments that have been left on this story!! I’d love to hear more from you guys! 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!

"I mean, if they really-"

"Temari! Momoko!"

"Well, look who came to welcome us home."

The rest of her sentence forgotten, Momoko turned away from the other blonde to look ahead of them. The gates of Suna were closer than she realized and when she squinted, she could make out two figures that stood in front of them. One of them was a blur of black and the other was a blur of red- the red one was the one that brought a wide grin to her lips. The closer they got, the easier they could see Kankuro waving to them as Gaara stood with his arms crossed across his chest.

"I'm almost surprised Gaara came," Temari commented before nudging Momoko's shoulder playfully with her own, "He usually doesn't show up when it's just me coming back."

The words brought a blush to her cheeks but the grin on her face never dropped. She was glad to see that Gaara had taken the time to leave his office and meet them at the gates. Though she knew he wasn't there just for her, Momoko was still thrilled to see him all the same.

"Took you guys long enough," Kankuro joked once they were close enough, a smile on his lips.

"Gee, welcome back Temari," The blonde sibling huffed, which made Momoko snicker, "I'm glad you're home,"

"Oh shut it," Kankuro chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "You know we missed you,"

Momoko turned her attention from the other two to Gaara, who had been watching the three of them the whole time. His eyes turned to meet hers, and Momoko felt the wide grin from before stretch back on her lips.

"Gaara," She said happily, "It's good to see you again!"

Hearing her say his name after a while of not hearing her at all sounded like music to his ears. He knew he had missed her, he just hadn't really realized how much until she was standing in front of him.

"It's good to see you too, Momoko. I-" He paused for a moment, glancing at his siblings who were caught up in their own conversation before he cleared his throat and continued, "...I'm glad you're back."

If he had known saying it would have brought such a glow to her, he would have said it a hundred more times.

"I'm glad to be back!" She replied quickly. He offered her a faint smile, and she was quick to return it with a bright one of her own.

"Come on you two," Kankuro interrupted, drawing the two of them back into their conversation, "Let's go grab lunch to celebrate you guys being home."

Momoko offered him a smile but shook her head.

"I'd like to, but I've gotta get these flowers back to the shop. The trip here was probably hard on them."

"Oh come on, I'm sure they can stand a couple more hours." He insisted.

"Yeah, come on, Momoko," Temari nudged her shoulder, "It'll be fun."

Momoko looked back at the wagon that still stood at the gates. She did seem to think over the idea, before she finally sighed and offered them an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, but I think I'd better tend to them. Don't want the trip to be for nothing, ya know?" She finally said, and Kankuro huffed.

"Fine, but you don't get a say next time." He said, I and now it was Momoko's turn to finally tease him.

"Careful there, Kankuro," She joked, "I'm starting to think you might like me!"

"Like you?" He huffed, but a smile still spread on his painted face, "Not a chance."

"Well, I like you," Temari commented as she gave her brother a playful nudge, "And Gaara sure does, so you're gonna have to come out with us sometime."

"I will!" Momoko beamed, the idea of her presence being desired by other people making her feel light and happy.

"We'll leave you to it, then," Temari said as she made her way to the wagon and collected her bag from it. She turned back to her brothers once she had her things again, "Come on guys, let's go."

"Actually," Gaara said, drawing their attention to him, "I would like to go with Momoko." he met her eyes, "If you don't mind, that is."

"I don't mind at all!" She said quickly, ignoring the way Kankuro snickered at her eagerness.

Gaara nodded in returned before addressing his siblings, "I'll see you two later."

"I guess so," Temari said with a sly little smile on her lips before she addressed the other girl, "I had a good time, Momoko. Let me know when you're going back."

"I will!" She said with a smile, glad that she felt she had made another friend. They spent all that time traveling together, Momoko felt just a little closer to Temari than she had before they left for the trip.

The four of them parted ways, and Gaara and Momoko headed for the marketplace with the wagon in tow. She checked on her flowers again; though she would have liked to go out to lunch with them, it looked like she had made the right call. Despite turning down the offer, she was rather pleased with this outcome too. Lunch with the siblings would have been nice, but she had looked forward to seeing Gaara again since the moment she left.

It was a nice day outside, not as horribly hot as it usually was but still warmer than she was used to. The sky was blue and clouds rolled lazily past them. People made their way from place to place, many stopping to greet Gaara as they made their way to the marketplace. Even outside of the robes, he garnered quite a bit of attention.

"Did you enjoy your visit?" He asked as they walked side by side to her shop.

"I did!" She said, smiling up at him, "I forgot to tell them I was coming home, so it was a bit of a surprise."

"I'm sure they were glad to see you."

"It seemed like it," She said with a pleasant hum, "Sakura was attached to my hip most of the time- but I got to see everyone I wanted to."

"I trust you told Naruto I said hello?" He asked, glancing at her to see the way her expression seemed to drop a little bit just like it always did. If he looked close enough, he could have sworn she looked a little sad, too.

"I didn't spend too much time around him," She said, her voice a little quieter, "But yea, I told him."

"I take it you aren't too fond of him?" Gaara asked, the curiosity getting the better of him.

"We..." Momoko paused, remembering their moment in the field, and now that she was talking to Gaara about it, she felt guilty all over again. She sighed, "It's a long story. Maybe I'll tell you another time."

Gaara only nodded in reply, content to let her keep it to herself for the time being. He didn't want to pry into her past, she would tell him when she was ready. For now, he enjoyed being in her company again as they made their way to her shop. She seemed to appreciate that he didn't press her further, and her mood shifted right back to being pleasant.

"Thank you for walking me back to the shop, by the way." She said, comfortably shifting the topic.

"I figured you could use help." He said, glancing back at the wagon that nearly burst with life.

"Oh!" She said, also looking back at the flowers as if just now realizing how much of it she had, "That's very kind of you, thank you!"

He only nodded in return, letting his eyes linger just a moment longer on her smile before he focused back on the road ahead. Silence fell on them again, but it was comfortable and peaceful as they walked. He had nothing else to say for the moment, and she was just happy to be in the company of her friend again.

When they reached the shop, Momoko sprang right to work. They pulled the wagon around the back and she propped open the back door so they could carry in the flowers. She did stop for a moment though to check on her other flowers in the shop, relieved to see they had fared decently since she had last been there. Just before leaving, she had hired someone to install sprinklers above each row of flowers that would go off once a day. It seemed to have worked decently well- she would have to send her regards again.

Glad to see that her shop had survived without her, Momoko grabbed her apron from the hook in the backroom and threw it on over her traveling clothes. Of course they were already a little dirty, but the apron couldn't hurt. Gaara had stood in the doorway the whole time, observing the various tools and plants in the backroom. She looked at him for just a moment, a smile easily coming to her lips, before she turned to the shelves along the wall to look through a few of the boxes that sat there. After finally finding what she was looking for, Momoko pulled it out and shook it down before turning to look at him.

"You could wear this, if you want," She said, offering it to him, "It'll keep the dirt off of your clothes."

In her hands was a blue apron; it was not as broken in as the one she wore, but it had obviously seen the sun a few times. The fabric was smooth from use but it was spotless. The only mark on the blue was the small pink flower embroidered right underneath one of the straps. He stared blankly at it, his first instinct wanting to be to politely decline until he made the mistake of glancing up at her. She was still smiling at him the way she always did, bright and hopeful and so incredibly kind.

Silently, he took the apron from her hands and threw it around his neck before tying it loosely around his waist. He felt silly, but Momoko looked so thrilled that he almost didn't mind it at all. She was the only one that would see it, anyway. He could stand to wear it for a while, if that's what she wanted.

They spent the next hour carrying flowers from the wagon to the empty work tables and shelves of the backroom. They still talked; well, Momoko mostly talked, and once in a while Gaara would reply. She commented about the flowers in their hands, shared facts about roots and petals and everything under the sun. Most would probably find it boring, but it was Momoko, so she had his undivided attention. She was so passionate about every leaf and every stem, all he could do was listen.

Gaara had thought she just needed help moving the flowers, so he was a little taken back to see her already busying herself with a new task once the last of the plants had been moved and the wagon was empty. She kept her apron on but now pulled on a pair of sunflower-printed gardening gloves, inspecting and sifting through the numerous plants that sat on every surface of the room.

"What now?" He asked as he took the wedge out of the door and let it close.

She peeked up from the bloom she was inspecting so she could offer him a bright smile.

"Some of these need to be repotted," She said, gesturing to a row of them. Momoko looked back at him, her smile becoming a little more sheepish, "You don't have to stick around for it, if you don't want to. You've helped more than enough."

Gaara stepped up to the table and looked down at the flowers. Moving them was one thing; he wasn't even sure what repotting was. But...it was nice to see her again, nice to be around her. Her presence was comfortable, casual. Though this friendship was new, it was already easy to slip into. She was consistently kind and excited to see him and she always seemed to hang onto every word. It was obvious she cared about this bond- for that, Gaara was grateful.

"I'd...like to stay." He admitted, looking up from the flowers to her. He didn't miss the way her eyes light up and the warmth returned to her smile.

"Ok, then!" She said happily, "If you're sure!”

She stepped away from him to rummage through the box from earlier, before quickly returning to his side. Momoko handed him the gloves she had retrieved- plain brown, to his relief- and looked up at him with excitement clear on her face.

"Have you ever potted a flower before?" Momoko asked as he took the gloves from her and put them on.

"I can't say I have."

"That's ok!" She said cheerfully, "I'll show you!"

Momoko kneeled down and reached for something underneath the table and when she came back up Gaara saw a stack of pots in her hand. She set them aside on the table before looking over some of the flowers in front of them before picking one of them up. It looked a little duller than some of the other flowers, it's petals drooping a bit.

"This is a Marigold," She said, holding it up so she could show him, "See how it looks a little sad?"

He nodded silently, looking from the petals to her and then back again.

"It probably feels a little squished in this itty bitty pot, so we've gotta move it!"

She took one of the pots from the stack she had brought up, and he watched as she made a little room on the table to set the empty pot and the flowers beside each other. Momoko looked back up at him, offering him a smile so happy that he found it hard to look away.

"I'll show you how to do it and then you can give it a try, sound good?" She asked.

Gaara once again only nodded, and she set to work.

"Ok, so these little holes at the bottom of the pot are for drainage, but we have to put a filter here so that soil doesn't fall out but the water does." She dunked back under the table for a second before coming back up with a few paper filters, "We just tuck these at the bottom before we put in the soil."

She looked at him to make sure he was following, and offered him another bright smile when he nodded in return.

"Once that's in place, we put in a base layer to give the roots a chance to grow a little more." Momoko instructed as she scooped some soil from a nearby plant and poured it on top of the filter.

"Then we take our Marigold's out of the old pot," She said as she did so, "And then we knead the soil so that the roots loosen up a bit, and it's ready for the new pot!"

Momoko set the loose clump of dirt and roots into the new pot before she moved over to the small sink and grabbed a watering can from the counter. She filled it almost full before returning to the table and watering the newly planted flowers. With a bright smile, she looked back up at him.

"And we're done!" She chirped, "Think you can handle it?"

He hummed, a bit of amusement in his tone, "I believe I can manage."

They stood side by side for the rest of the afternoon, repotting the flowers that looked a little sad and falling into a comfortable rhythm. Every once in a while she would offer him pointers and he would take them in stride.

"You're pretty good at this," She complimented him with a smile, and the corners of his lips almost pulled up.

"I had a good teacher."

Gaara couldn't remember ever having a time like this in his life. Standing beside her and potting flowers, listening to whatever came to her mind; it all felt so domestic. Sure, Naruto was his friend and perhaps he'd consider a few other Leaf shinobi, but he didn't see them on a regular basis. He didn't spend time with them like he got the chance to spend with her. Usually anyone other than his siblings made him tense, but Momoko's kind smile and friendly words brought him a level of comfort he had never really felt with another person. Of course he was still on edge- he was a shinobi, he would always be on his guard- but being around her didn't feel so tense.

Every so often he would glance at her and steal a look at the small smile on her face as she worked with her flowers and hummed a soft tune to herself. She looked so at peace right then, with her blooms and with him. He hadn't ever seen anyone besides Temari and Kankuro look so comfortable around him. This was a nice way to welcome her home again: by spending the first of what he hoped to be many moments beside her.

Momoko caught him staring and offered him a wide grin, her cheeks coloring ever so slightly under his gaze. This time, Gaara couldn't help but give her a small smile back.


	17. Getting to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’ve decided to start updating this story twice a week. I’ve already written pretty far in advance, and at the rate I was going, this wouldn’t be finished until another couple months. So, I’ll now be posting a new chapter both Sundays AND Wednesday’s. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“What's your favorite color?"

He stared blankly at her before his eyes turned down to look at his food. Gaara seemed to think about it for a moment, then met her gaze again.

"Brown."

"Brown?" She repeated, "That's the most boring color in the world!"

"It's neutral," He defended.

Momoko let out a little hum and leaned back in her seat, takinga bite of her rice as she did so. She had made herself comfortable in the chair across from his desk after she scooted it as close as she could to him. It almost felt like they were actually sitting across from one another at a real table. But this was no home or restaurant, this was just Gaara's office, and this was only lunch.

She had come with purpose, he learned almost as soon as she had taken a seat. Of course the main reason was just to enjoy lunch with a friend, but Momoko had expressed her desire to get to know him better. Of course they were friends, and since that day she came home they had grown more comfortable with each other. Gaara still had things to learn when it came to forming meaningful relationships with other people, as well as when it came to trusting someone enough to relax around them. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, he just didn't know how to talk to her sometimes. Luckily though, she was kind and patient, and filled in the spaces he left blank. Once Momoko had eased into their new friendship as well, Gaara found that she was more comfortable making light jokes and playful jabs at him. He didn't always know how to respond, but sometimes she would get a small smile out of him, and that was enough.

The desire to get to know each other better was what led them to where they were now: playing some little game that involved asking each other questions. She brought it up to him almost as soon as they started eating, just a silly exchange of questions to learn what may not come up in every day conversation. It was simple enough: one of them would ask a question and the other would answer (they were allowed to pass on questions they didn't want to answer, though) and then ask a question of their own. For the sake of not just repeating questions off of each other, they would answer the question they asked as well.

"I guess that's a good reason," She sighed, the playfulness clear in her words, "Brownjust doesn't suit you."

"What does suit me, then?" He asked, taking a drink of his tea as he watched her over the rim.

"Red would be cliche, wouldn't it?"

"Extremely." He said and the way the corners of his mouth tugged up was hidden behind his cup.

"We'll have to find you a better color to like," Momoko mused before adding, "My favorite color is yellow. It's bright, happy." 

"That does suit you." He commented, and relished in the sight of the smile that came to her lips and the way her cheeks colored ever so slightly.

"I do believe it's your turn, Lord Kazekage."

He thought about it for a moment, mulling over the options. He wasn't really sure what to ask her, the possibilities seemed both endless and scarce. Gaara wasn't sure what was too personal or what was too superficial; what was appropriate and what wasn't?His eyes landed on the bouquet of flowers in front of him. Momoko had brought them the morning before; she said they were called Cosmos, and they were a deep shade of magenta. The card that came with it had read ' _I'll see you at lunch! Have a great day, Gaara!_ ' At the bottom it was signed ' _Your Friend, Momoko_ '. The first few times she brought bouquets she just signed her name at the bottom, but since their first lunch together she had started to add 'Your Friend'. The change was nice, and the tiny smile didn't leave Gaara's lips for a while after the first time he saw it.

"What is your favorite flower?" He finally asked, turning away from the thoughts of the note.

"How did you know I like flowers?" She joked, and this time she noticed how his eyes crinkled just a bit in amusement.

"Lucky guess." He mused.

That had been her favorite part of all of this. Slowly but surely, Gaara was coming out of his shell. His smiles were still rare but she saw them more. She had never heard him laugh but the slight crinkle of his eyes or the brief flash of amusement that passed through them was enough to encourage her to keep trying. 

"They're called Dahlias," She said, "The light pink ones, in specific."

Gaara only hummed in reply. He had never seen them before, and if he had he wouldn't know what they were. Maybe the next time they were in her shop, she would show him.

"What about you?" She asked, "Do you have a favorite flower?"

"I liked the second bouquet you gave me. The mapira lilies, I believe you called them." He said, and she smiled in return.

"Now those suit you." She said and Gaara offered her a small nod in return.

"It's your turn." He said before taking a bite of his own lunch.

Momoko thought for a moment, her eyes trailing up to the ceiling in thought. With her eyes turned away, Gaara took the chance to watch her. She looked nice today, as she always did. Her hair was down and her dress was a pretty orange color. He hadn't seen her wear it before- now that he thought about it, he had never seen her wear the same thing twice. Each day was a new bright dress or skirt, and a new hairstyle that ranged from a high ponytail to letting her hair hang loose to her waist.

He realized rather quickly that he liked her hair most when she let it down; it was long and fell in shiny pale waves. More recently, he had found himself wondering what it felt like, if it was as soft as it looked or how it would feel to run his fingers through it. Almost as soon as the thought came to mind, though, he'd push it away. He figured it was just years of being deprived of touch or human affection that made his thoughts so often wonder to her. Friends probably didn't think of each other that way, or wonder what it would be like to hold her hand or how she would feel in his arms or-

"Oh! I've got it!" She finally said, and thankfully pulled him from his thoughts, "What's your favorite food?"

"Gyutan," He replied, "Yours?"

"Daifuku!" She said happily, "Your turn!"

Gaara took another bite of his food and thought about what to ask. He didn't want to ask another 'What is your favorite ____' question, but he also wasn't entirely sure what else there was. Once again his eyes caught the bouquet, and the question almost instantly came to mind.

"What else do you do," He asked, "Besides the flowers?"

"You mean like hobbies?" She asked, and he nodded in return, "Well...When I was younger, my mom and I used to knit. She was a lot better at it than I am. My scarves always came out way too long or way too wide."

"Do you not knit anymore?" He questioned, and she shook her head.

"Not since she passed. I've been so busy making this whole new life for myself, I just haven't really had much free time."

"You don't have to see me every day," Gaara said, though in the back of his mind he didn't want her to take the offer at all, "If you would like to take more time for yourself."

"No!" She said quickly, almost startling him. Momoko blushed and turned her eyes away from him, "No, I...I really like spending time with you, Gaara."

She glanced back at him just in time to catch that odd look in his eye. It hadn't been there much in the beginning, but the more time they spent around each other the more she saw that look. He was relaxed, and his eyes were warm and soft- a stark contrast to the usual blank gaze. Especially when she said something kind to or about him; his eyebrows would unfurrow and his shoulders would drop a bit. It reminded her of the way he had looked at her flowers in her shop when he had come the first time. It didn't happen all the time, but once in a while he would look at her like this and it made her feel light and her cheeks grow warm. It was like she had reassured him of something, like what she had said both soothed and relieved him at the same time. There was such a strange look in his eyes when he gazed at her like this. Had anyone ever looked at her like this?

"I like spending time with you too." He said, and her cheeks grew warmer but a wide smile spread on her lips. She rather liked that look.

"What about you?" She asked after a moment, "Do you have any hobbies?"

"No," He said with a shake of his head, "I don't have enough time, and nothing has taken my interest."

"Nothing?" She asked again, leaning a little closer in her chair, "There's got to be at least one thing you like doing outside of your job?"

He did take the moment to think about it, mulling over the few things he had done in his free time. Once in a while he and his siblings would play a board game after dinner, but Kankuro never followed the rules and Temari didn't have the patience for it. It wasn't often that he got the time to spend outside of his office and do something that wasn't work or combat related.

Strangely enough, the one thing that did come to mind was their time in her shop just last week. Despite the fact that they were spending time together, he enjoyed that day. The plants were soft and easy to work with, and there was something soothing about tending to the flowers. It wasn't like he had ever done it before or did it very often, but he had rather liked helping her at her shop.

"I wouldn't call it a hobby," He said, "But I did like helping you replant the flowers."

"You did?" She said, a little smile coming to her lips. He nodded in return, "Well... I liked having you there. You should come by again, if you ever have a free day."

He didn't often have free days, truthfully, but the hopeful look in her eyes and the warm smile on her lips prevented him from saying such. For the sake of seeing her smile again, he'd make the time. Instead he just nodded, taking a sip of his tea.

"I would like that."

The smile didn't leave her lips as she took another bite of her food, trying to come up with another question now that it was her turn. They were off to a good start, so far she was enjoying herself and it looked like Gaara was too. Their daily lunches together were the highlights of her afternoons, even if they never seemed long enough. They really only saw each other in his office, though she hoped he would take her up on her offer to come spend more time at the shop. It occurred to her then that besides being the Kazekage, Gaara was a high ranking shinobi as well. She had never seen him in action before, but that didn't make her any less curious.

"Can you show me your sand?"

He seemed a little taken back, setting his cup down as he watched her.

"Is that a question or a request?"

She smiled sheepishly at him, "Both? I only saw it that one time before I left for Konoha. I think it was when I..."

Momoko set her food down and reached out for him. Just as it had the very first time she did so, his sand rose to push back against her hand and keep her from touching him. She took the time to marvel at it this time, watching the way it seemed to relax a bit before the grains began to weave itself through her fingers. Vaguely, the feeling reminded her of holding someone's hand. Of course the sand was coarser than skin and the lack of definite shape was a little odd, but the touch was kind. She let out a soft giggle as wisps of it traveled up her arm and twirled a strand of her hair. It was hard to imagine this was the very sand that had hurt her friends so long ago. 

No- she stopped herself- this wasn't the same sand, because it wasn't the same person who had controlled it. She looked up at Gaara and watched the way that warm look came to his eyes again as he watched his sand twirl itself in her hair and around her fingers. He looked so at ease right then, like there was something comforting about the sight of her interacting with his sand. He wasn't smiling, but his eyes were soft and followed every motion that twirled her hair.

"Are you doing this?" She asked, looking back to the sand with newly colored cheeks.

"I am now, earlier I wasn't." He nodded, and she felt a little smile on her lips.

"How?" She questioned, watching the sand weave between her fingers.

"I used to think it was Shukaku," He said, "But now that he's gone, I'm not sure."

That made her remember something from a few years ago, something Naruto had told her after coming home from a mission. He had showed up at her door in the middle of the night and at the sight of her, tears fell from his eyes and he held her tightly as he wept right there in her doorway. Later, when he had collected himself and she had gotten him a cup of tea, Naruto told her about how the new Kazekage of the Sand had died. She sat and listened to his every word, about how he was dead for a while and it took the sacrifices of an old woman to bring him back. He described the dread he felt, the anger. Naruto had wondered what Gaara's last thought had been and told her that if it had been him, she would have been his.

Now that she knew Gaara, considered him her friend, the memory made her head hurt. The idea that at one point he was completely gone from this world and that there was a very good chance he may not have come back made her uneasy. He'd have never made it this far: becoming a celebrated leader, an adored sibling, a treasured friend. They would have never met- and what then? He had been there every step of her new life in the Sand and was the first friend she made here. It was hard to think of the fact that had they been just moments too late, Momoko would have never met him at all.

"What was it like?" She asked softly and looked up at him, "To...die?"

He seemed taken back by her question, and at first he wanted to refuse answering it. But, some part of him wanted to share with her. He had never answered anyone else when they asked, simply because it was hard to think about. But...this didn't feel hard. Sure, the reminder of it loomed heavy in his heart, but the way she looked at him seemed to banish all consideration of deflecting the question. Gaara's eyes left hers, and she watched the way he looked around the room for a moment before his gaze landed on the bouquet on the corner of his desk. He looked at the magenta Cosmos, at the way each petal dipped and curved in their own patterns of veins, and allowed himself to remember for the first time in a very long time.

"It was...what I imagine drowning feels like." He said, softer than she had ever heard him, "I remember it hurting, worse than any pain I had felt before. And then...it was gone. And I was alone, not alive and yet somehow not entirely dead." Gaara paused for a moment, and then spoke, "I've known loneliness before, but not like that, never like that."

It was hard, remembering it all. The therapist he had seen for a while after it happened had told him that it would likely always hurt, but that Gaara should let himself feel something rather than nothing at all. Ignoring it was harmful and not talking about it wasn't healthy. He didn't entirely ignore it, but the talking part didn't come as easily yet. It was more than just physically painful, it had taken quite the emotional toll as well. Though he had come to terms with it, there would always be something about recalling those few days that would hurt. 

It was silent for a few moments, and Gaara didn't look at her face just yet. He didn't know what she would feel: fear that he had somehow made it to death and back, unease because he shared a secret about himself that only she now knew, horror that-

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft sob, and when he found her face again he froze at the sight of her tears. The tears that rolled down her face dropped into her lap and soaked into the fabric of the pretty dress she wore. He could see that her shoulders just barely trembled, and her head was tilted down a bit so that he couldn't fully see the look on his face. The sight of her tears, of her frame shaking ever so slightly, put a pit in his stomach.

"Momoko...?"

At the sound of her name, she finally looked up at him and Gaara took in a sharp breath at the look in her eyes. It was the first time he had ever seen her cry, or even the slightest bit sad. Her lips were pulled into a frown and her cheeks were wet with the tears that still came. Her eyes were glassy and filled with so much sadness and dread that the pit in his stomach felt it had bottomed out. For as beautiful as she still was, this sorrow on her face brought a kind of discomfort he had never known before. He didn't like the sight of it, of her crying, and much less that he had been the one that caused it. Still, though, he didn't understand why.

"You're crying?" He asked, barely above a whisper, and Momoko sniffled.

She was embarrassed to be crying in front of him, but in all honesty, she couldn't help it. Momoko had always been an easy crier, and the thought of Gaara dying was almost too much to bear.

"I-I know its silly," She said in a watery voice, one that made his chest ache, "B-Because it happened so long ago a-and we didn't know each other then but...You've been so good to me since I first got here, a-and already one of the greatest friends I've ever know...It's hard to imagine my life without you, Gaara."

For a moment, he forgot how to breathe. For her to sit and weep for him, about things she could never change but dreaded all the same, put a weight on his heart unlike one he had ever felt before. Of course Naruto had been devastated he was gone and his siblings had wept for him when they were reunited, but there was something about this delayed sadness that struck him in a way nothing else ever really had. Momoko cried for his pain, for the life he had lost, but to her the worst thing of all was the thought that they would have never met. The weight of knowing that, to her, the idea of not having him in her life was enough to draw such tears made him clutch at his chest over his robes, afraid that whatever this feeling was that she made him feel would engulf him entirely.

They stayed in silence for a few moments, Momoko trying to wipe away her tears and Gaara staring down at the desk as he grasped tightly at his chest. After some time had passed she stood from her chair, and Gaara looked up at her. Her tears had mostly stopped, but a few still leaked from the corners of her red eyes. He let go of his heart and stood, too, unsure of what she was going to do. A part of him expected her to turn and leave the office right then, but she didn't do so. Instead she rounded his desk until they were standing face to face, and she reached out for him.

Just as it always did, his sand came and stopped her hand, but she only paused for a moment. Then, slowly, she pushed back against it.

Like she was sticking her hand into water, the sand shifted around her and let her slip through the wall. It was of no action of his own that the sand let her through, instead it did so itself. Gaara stood frozen, shocked that the barrier that had surrounded him his whole life seemed to part for her, and could only watch with wide eyes as she reached for him again. She seemed a little surprised, too, and stopped right before she reached him.

"May I touch you?" Momoko asked, softly, her eyes still glassy from the tears that had fallen.

Gaara was silent for a moment, too astonished at having her so close to find words. He could feel his hands trembling at his side and he kept his wide eyes on the hand that was just inches away from him.

Silently, slowly, he nodded.

Momoko stepped forward, and Gaara flinched at the feeling of her arms coming to wrap around him. She rested her head against his chest and loosely but warmly, just held him. 

He wondered if she could feel him tremble in her arms. When was the last time he had been held? It must have been when he was a child, because he couldn't quite remember. It was almost odd, and he was sure that she could hear the hammering of his heart as her head lay on his chest. Of course he had been touched before, but no one had ever taken him into their arms like she did now.

For a while he just stood there, getting used to the feeling of her being so close and her arms wrapped around him until finally, slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, too. He let one circle around her waist, and his other hand lay softly on the back of her head. It felt awkward for a moment, like he was doing it wrong, but she sighed softly against him in a way that made him realize nothing about this felt wrong at all.

Momoko had wondered, once, what it would be like to hold Gaara. She would have never thought it would be like this. There was something about standing there in his arms that felt so safe. He was hesitant, a little stiff, but he was warm and the feeling of his arms around her brought a flutter to her heart that she hadn't felt in so long. It wasn't like she expected it to be, because it didn't make her feel the way she thought it would.

She had imagined it would be like holding Sakura, when she hugged her again for the first time in so long. A comfortable embrace between friends and nothing more. But this...this didn't feel like that. Being so close to Gaara made her heart race and her stomach flip in ways Sakura's hugs never made her feel. What she felt now wasn't subtle or platonic, it was the beginnings of a feeling she was far too familiar with. 

"I'm glad we met, Gaara." She said softly against his robes, glad at that moment that he couldn't see the color that came to her cheeks.

He didn't say a word but Momoko felt him hold her just a little closer, and she smiled.


	18. A Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the comments left!! I look forward to reading more!! 
> 
> I love you guys! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Momoko had gotten a radio to place in the corner of the shop so that she could listen to music through the day. It was never anything loud or jazzy, mostly up-beat, soft tunes. She liked how it made the shop feel a little more friendly, and the few times it was empty she would hum to herself or even sway her hips with the beat. She would have done that today, too, because things were a little slower than usual but this afternoon, she had company.

This morning she had gone to deliver Gaara his flowers, just as promised, and instead of finding him at his desk she found him standing up and looking out the windows. He wasn't dressed in his Kazekage robes like he always was, but instead in the crimson and grey ensemble she had seen him in before. He had explained that there were no meetings on his schedule today and that, if the invitation was still extended, he would like to spend his day helping her at the shop. Momoko couldn't have agreed faster.

That was where they found themselves this afternoon, tending to the shop as a light hearted tune filled the air. As he had before, Gaara accepted the apron and gloves she had given him and this time seemed a little less opposed to wearing them. She showed him the few things he could do to help, like replacing soil or light pruning. Just as he had the first time, Gaara caught on quickly and set about to the tasks that she had given him. They would talk every so often, when the shop was empty or when he had a question, but most of the time was spent tending to flowers and sneaking glances when they thought the other wasn't looking.

There was something about seeing Gaara with the flowers that made her heart flutter just a bit. It was the fact that he was putting the effort into familiarizing himself with her interests and trying to learn what he could about the things she was passionate about that made Momoko smile the entire time. He was a busy man, with probably hundreds of things that needed his attention and thousands of people that needed his guidance, but here he was with her. She made a note in the back of her head to try to learn more about his training or more of what he did as Kazekage.

They went on like that for a while, tending to flowers and talking about anything that came to mind. Once in a while someone would come into the shop and nearly jump at the sight of their Kazekage standing there, wearing a blue apron and gardening. Everyone that came in greeted him as soon as their eyes landed on him. Momoko usually didn't pay them much attention, but it was around noon when someone's voice calling out for him finally made her pause.

"Lord Gaara!"

Momoko was a little taken back to hear someone use his name- she had never heard anyone do so except for his siblings and herself. Usually people said 'Lord Kazekage' or 'My Lord', but she had never heard 'Lord Gaara'. And certainly not so excited.

The blonde looked up from the flower she had been watering and to the front of the shop, where a young shinobi stood. She was pretty in a common way, with brown hair and bright brown eyes. Around her neck was her Suna headband, and she wore a standard shinobi uniform. She couldn't have been older than them, so she figured this girl was a few years younger. The smile on her face was bright, despite the surprise that was clear in her expression, as she looked at Gaara.

Momoko watched, her flowers completely forgotten, as the girl all but ran to Gaara where he worked on the other side of the shop. She couldn't hear much over the music and from this distance, but she could see the way the girl's eyes lit up as she talked to him. Gaara, to Momoko's surprise, didn't seem to mind her too much. In fact, she thought she may have seen the slightest trace of fondness in his eyes as he spoke to her.

It was irrational, she knew, to feel the way she did at the sight of them but Momoko couldn't help it. The past week had been odd for her. Things remained normal between them after their hug (Which wasn't even that big of a deal, why was she so flustered thinking about it?) but Momoko had noticed a few odd changes within herself lately. Like how Gaara crossed her mind a little more often, or how she paid a little more attention to her red roses than she had in awhile. She would walk out of his office with redder cheeks than usual and sometimes she would look at him for just a few moments longer after he looked away. Gaara didn't seem to notice, thankfully, but she sure had.

Gaara had said something that made the girl look up and to Momoko, staring for just a moment before offering her a bright smile and a wave. Momoko could only offer a weak smile and little wave of her own before the girl turned her attention back to Gaara. It was when she saw the girl's cheeks begin to color that she had to look away. 

She almost felt silly. Gaara was just her friend, nothing more and nothing less. So she had a bit of a crush on him, so what? It had been a long time since she had been close to someone, especially a guy, so it was only natural that she felt like this around him now. It wasn't a big deal that she couldn't seem to stop staring at him sometimes, or that his voice brought her so much comfort, or-

"Momoko, right?" The girl called, and Momoko nearly jumped at the sound of her so close.

She turned, facing the girl who now stood and smiled brightly at her. Gaara was still on the other side of the shop but was looking to them, his pale eyes set on the interaction. Momoko looked at the girl up close; a part of her wanted to be just a little mean, but another part wanted to brush aside whatever it was she was feeling for the sake of friendliness. As usual, she chose friendliness.

"Hello," She said, forcing a smile, "Welcome to my shop,"

The girl- Matsuri, she learned her name was- didn't talk to her for much longer. She only asked a few questions about the bouquets that were on display before finally picking one for her mother's birthday. Momoko helped her as she would any other customer, despite the odd disliking she felt for her. It made her feel bad, especially since Matsuri was nothing but kind the whole time. She almost reprimanded herself for feeling so negatively for someone she didn't know, but then Matsuri stopped to talk to Gaara again after buying her bouquet and stayed there for a little longer than Momoko would have liked. Eventually though, she did leave the shop and the two of them were on their own again.

"She seems nice," Momoko finally said after a while, when she moved a little closer to work at the other end of the isle Gaara was in. 

"She is." He said simply, and Momoko couldn't quite read the tone of his voice.

Silence fell between them for a moment, until she spoke again, this time a little bolder than she cared for.

"Did you two...date, or something?"

"Excuse me?" Gaara asked, stopping his work as he turned his attention from the flowers to her.

Momoko felt her cheeks grow hot, and she tried her hardest to look casual as she pretended to observe the flowers in front of her.

"She was just really excited to see you," She said with a little shrug of her shoulder, "It looked like she has a crush on you."

Gaara was quiet for a moment, and Momoko looked up to see his brows were furrowed like he was thinking through something.

"I...don't believe she wants to hurt me."

"What?" Momoko asked, startled at where the conversation was going.

"She doesn't want to crush me." He stated, looking just as confused as Momoko was.

Finally realizing what was going on here, Momoko let herself relax a little and a light laugh come from her lips. As much as he liked the sound, Gaara still didn't understand what had brought it on.

"No, she doesn't want to crush you," She explained, "She had a crush on you."

"I still don't understand." Gaara continued.

"You don't know what a crush is?" She asked, tilting her head a little bit. He shook his head in return, "It's when you like someone romantically. Like you want to date them."

"Oh..." He said, turning his eyes back down to the flowers in front of him. He was silent for a moment, and Momoko tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Have you never had a crush before?" Momoko questioned, genuinely curious about his response. Not so much for the sake of her own feelings, but to try and understand this new part of him. They had never really talked about these things before: crushes, dating, love. It was a new topic for them, one that Momoko was incredibly curious about. 

"I am not sure." He answered honestly, looking back up at her, "How would I know, if I did?"

Momoko thought for a moment, looking from him then up to the ceiling as she tried to find a way to describe it. A crush wasn't quite love, but it wasn't just friendship either. How could she describe it?

"Well...you would want to be around the person all the time," She started, trying to find the right words, "And when they talk you hold on to every single word, even if you don't really understand what they're saying. Their smile makes you feel warm, especially when you're the one who caused them to smile in the first place. And when you touch..." A soft smile spread on her lips as she looked down at her hand, and Gaara watched every movement, "It feels safe. Like nothing in the world can hurt you when they're near."

It wasn't just a broad description, it was what she had actually felt before. She could remember what it was like having a crush on Naruto: half nerves and half excitement that a boy even looked her way. She was just a girl back then, before love had bloomed, but she could remember the way her little heart hammered in her chest when he smiled and the way she'd squeal to Sakura about every word they ever exchanged. Momoko giggled at his loudness and swooned at any display of physical prowess. It was everything a first crush was supposed to be: young, naive, and happy.

It was different this time around, now that she was older. She didn't giggle too loudly when Gaara joked (which he never really did) or twirl her hair around her finger when they talked. They were both adults, with their own lives and their own responsibilities. The things she liked about him weren't just skin deep, they were genuine aspects of his personality that she was finally old enough and mature enough to care about. She admired his leadership skills, his desire to better himself, and his drive to improve the village he was in charge of. Gaara was not some young fumbling shinobi trying to prove himself to the world. He was a young man, solid in who he was and eager to better himself in any way he could for his own and everyone else's sake.

Maybe it was a little immature to call this a crush, because nothing about this felt very childish, but there was no other word she knew that could accurately describe what she felt. Infatuation felt too formal, puppy love felt too immature; she wasn't in love but what she was starting to feel was not platonic either. A crush was the best way she could describe this feeling.

Momoko looked to Gaara, and saw that he had been watching her the whole time. Her cheeks were still warm and she offered him a little smile, one that made his eyes soften just a bit before he looked away.

"Have you had a crush before?" 

She looked away for a moment, her lips pulling into a small frown. Naruto has been her first and so far only love, but whatever they were now was no more. The same guilt she felt then took over her heart now- it was wrong of her to lead him on, but she had never been very brave when it came to speaking her feelings. 

And yet...right now, with Gaara beside her, she carried a solid feeling she had never really had before. He didn't make her nervous, or uncomfortable, but instead something entirely different. It was like she felt a little more tied down to earth with him around, like her head was just a bit clearer. It was a new feeling, to suddenly be more sure of herself than she had been before, but maybe it was because Gaara always seemed so sure of her too. For the first time in what felt like her whole life, Momoko felt brave. 

"I have." She said, "And I...I may have one now, I think." 

Gaara paused, going still for just a moment before he looked to her and to his surprise, she was staring right back. Sure, her cheeks were still pink and her apron was bunched into her fists, but the look on her face had a confidence he had never seen on her before. It wasn't cocky or brash, it still boarder-lined shy, but her head was just a little higher right then than he could ever remember seeing. 

It was when she smiled so warmly, so surely at him, that Gaara's eyes widened ever so slightly and he let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding.


	19. The Little Blue Dot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and the kudos!! I love reading each and every one and I appreciate the time you take the write them! 
> 
> And another HUGE THANK YOU!! FOR 1000 VIEWS!!! I’m so happy so many people are reading!! Thank you guys so much for keeping this story going!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and look forward to hearing more feedback!

Kankuro had started to notice things recently.

He had walked in on the middle of lunch one afternoon, and paused in the doorway. Momoko was talking about something, sitting across from Gaara in a pretty blue dress, and the Kazekage didn't even seem to notice Kankuro was there at all. There was this look on his face as he listened to her with his chin in his hand, a look Kankuro had never seen before. His eyes were soft, and his lips were pulled into the smallest of smiles, and he watched her every move. Kankuro couldn't help but stop and stare at his brother, before Momoko turned and offered him a smile. The look on Gaara's face was gone in a moment, but the image of it lingered in Kankuro's mind for the rest of the day.

He had come into Gaara's office a few days later to get his opinion on something and instead found the space empty. There were papers left on his desk from his assistant's morning routine, a new bouquet of flowers on the corner, but there wasn't much else. His chair was pushed all the way in, the windows were closed, and the room looked too untouched for it being late afternoon. Kankuro stood in the office for nearly 20 minutes before finally realizing that his brother wasn't just out, but gone for the day. The assistant told him that the Kazekage was with a friend.

What finally did it, though, was when Kankuro saw them touch. He had come to talk to his brother in the morning, hoping to not to miss him in the event that he wanted to go out again, when Momoko came in to replace a bouquet. Momoko always looked nice, with her pretty makeup and feminine dresses, but even Kankuro stopped and stared at her for just a moment longer. Her hair was loose down to her waist in pale waves and her yellow dress fit her in all the right ways, and her face lit up so beautifully when she saw Gaara that Kankuro's words trailed off in the middle of his sentence. The Kazekage didn't seem to mind at all that he had stopped talking, because he rose from his seat as she set the new flowers down beside the old ones and handed him his tea. When he took the cup from her, his hand lingered over hers a moment longer than it should have and Kankuro watched a smile spread on her painted lips. When he looked at Gaara, there was that fond look in his eye again and Kankuro knew right then exactly what was happening.

"You're absolutely sure?" Temari asked again, chopping the last of the vegetables before adding them to the boiling pot on the stove.

"Totally!" Kankuro said, leaning against the counter as he watched her cook, "You should have seen it, Temari! Even I was blushing!"

A smile came to her lips as she stirred the contents of the pot in front of her. Truthfully, she wasn't surprised. Momoko talked about him fondly on their trip, and Temari didn't miss the way her cheeks would sometimes color or she'd fiddle with the hem of her shirt. She hadn't talked to Gaara about her recently, but if Kankuro was telling the truth, it seemed like that fondness went both ways.

"They're good for each other," Temari said, "And it's nice having another girl around, since you're not getting one any time soon."

"Hey!" He snapped, "I'm holding out for the right one, okay? Besides, this isn't about me, it's about Gaara! We've gotta help him out."

"Help him out?" She asked, glancing over at him, "What do you mean?"

"Come on, you really think Gaara is gonna make a move on his own? I love the guy, but I'm amazed he's gotten this far." Kankuro said matter-of-factly.

"You don't think Momoko will say something?"

"Oh please, she's probably just as helpless. Besides, Gaara is the man, he should be the one asking her out."

Temari groaned, "It doesn't matter if he's the man or not, what matters is if they're even ready for something like this."

"What do you mean?"

"Gaara isn't exactly used to all of this. Sure, he smiles more around her and he's kind to her, but he's just starting to understand what it's like to have a friend. I don't think he'll be ready for a girlfriend."

"Didn't you just say they were good for each other?" Kankuro asked.

"I did, because if anyone would be good for him, it'll probably be her. But I just don't know if that's right for them right now," She huffed, "Besides, we don't even know for sure if he likes her in that way."

"But I saw-"

"Yeah, I know what you _think_ you saw," Temari cut him off, "But you're not the sharpest kunai in the holder, so I don't know how much of what you're saying is true."

"Hey!" Kankuro exclaimed, and Temari ignored him as she took three bowls out of the cabinet. He was about to defend himself further, before an idea came to his mind, "What if we get Gaara to admit he likes her! Will you be on board then?"

Temari groaned, "He's never going to do that, let's just leave them be-"

"I can still prove it!" Kankuro exclaimed, opening his mouth to say something else when the front door opened and cut him off. He peeked his head around the corner, then looked back at her with a mischievous smile, "Just follow my lead, okay?"

She rolled her eyes, portioning out their meal into each bowl, "Don't blame me when this blows up in your face."

Gaara had gone right to his room to remove his Kazekage robes and when he came back out dinner was already set around the table and his siblings were sitting around it. It hadn't been a particularly hard day, but coming home to his family always put him a little more at ease. Dinner with them was one of the better parts of his day, rivaled only by lunch.

It was as nice as their evenings always were, just the three of them sitting together and making up for the time lost. They talked about their days over dinner: what they did, who they saw, if anything interesting had happened. Temari told them about her visit to the academy and Kankuro talked about his progress with the puppets, and Gaara shared what he and Momoko had talked about at lunch. At the mention of the florist, Kankuro sat up a little straighter, and Temari watched him over the rim of her cup.

"You know, I think tomorrow is gonna be the day." Kankuro said, causally but confidently as he wiped the corner of his mouth.

"For what?" Gaara asked, taking a sip of his tea.

"I think I'm finally going to ask Momoko out." 

Temari choked in the middle of her drink, sending her into a coughing fit that Kankuro had to pat her back through. Across them, Gaara had gone quiet and his gaze had turned down to the bowl in front of him. The force of her coughs had brought small tears to her eyes, and Temari glared at the purple-painted boy beside her as he snuck a small thumbs up to her under the table.

The pleasantness of the evening seemed to have faded because once Temari cleared her throat, the room fell silent. No one ate or drank anymore and both sets of eyes were on Gaara, whose eyes were still on the table in front of them. His hands were clenched into fists in his lap, and his brow was furrowed ever so slightly as he stared down into his food.

"Is that okay with you, Gaara?" Kankuro pushed on, grunting as Temari shoved a sharp elbow into his side.

Why did she think for even a moment that he could handle this? 'Follow his lead' God, she was going to kick his ass. His plan was terrible and there was no way it was going to work. If Gaara had been any less the person he was now, Temari was sure he may have just killed him.

"No," Gaara finally spoke, breathing in deeply for a moment as though mustering the courage before going on, "No, it isn't okay with me."

"Why not?" Kankuro asked again, leaning in just a little closer, sure that he had finally gotten him.

"I...I don't..." Gaara closed his eyes for a moment, his brows still furrowed, before finally standing from the table, "Excuse me, please."

He turned and left the room, and Kankuro fell back in his chair with an exasperated sigh that quickly turned into a yelp when Temari sent a hard punch to his shoulder.

"What was that for?!" He exclaimed, rubbing the wounded arm as she stood as well.

"For being a dumbass! Jesus, Kankuro, your plan was shit!"

"It worked didn't it?!"

"Yeah, it worked in pissing him off!" She marched out of the room but not before barking at him, "Clean up dinner!"

She stomped her way up the stairs, ignoring whatever it was that was being shouted after her. When she reached Gaara's room at the end of the hallway, she knocked.

"Gaara?"

There was no answer on the other side, and after waiting just a moment she opened the door. The large room was empty, the bed untouched, but the doors to the balcony were open and she let out a soft sigh. Stepping in, she closed the door behind her before making her way over to the balcony. Gaara was there, his elbows resting on the railing as he looked out over the lights of the village. She came to lean her back on the railing beside him, her arms crossed as she watched his face. He looked as troubled as he had at the table, and not the usual kind of troubled.

"Ignore him," She said, "He's an idiot and a jerk."

Gaara didn't say anything to her, didn't really acknowledge her presence as he stared out to the lights before him. Temari sighed softly, and looked over her shoulder at the village, too, content to talk when he was ready. They stood like that for only a little while until finally, Gaara spoke.

"I don't know what this is." He said, softly, like he was admitting something.

"What, what is?" She asked, turning her eyes back to him. It took him a moment to speak again.

"This...This feeling." His eyes lowered slightly, and she watched his every move.

"Well...What does it feel like?" Temari inquired, careful to watch her tone as to not make him uncomfortable or feel pressured in any way.

"It feels like..." He paused, silent for a moment, before saying softly, "Like she's too far away, but I know we're only a few moments apart. I can see her home from where I stand but it seems like such a great distance."

Temari followed his eyes and saw, too, what he had been looking at the whole time. There was a streetlight outside of her shop, dim but still bright enough to see the blue walls. She stared at the shop, her eyes just a little wider as she began to realize that maybe Kankuro had been right, afterall.

"I don't want to tell you what you feel, Gaara," She said, "But...It sounds like you like her."

He glanced at her, the confusion clear in his gaze, "Of course I do. We're friends."

"No, I mean you may like her as something more." 

"Something more?"

Temari couldn't help but smile. He could lead a nation, command an army, not even flinch in the heat of battle, but couldn't understand this. Gaara, in his seemingly infinite maturity, was sometimes still just a boy.

"Like you want to hold her hand, or take her out to nice places and show her beautiful things." Temari explained, "Does that sound right?"

Gaara turned his eyes back to what she knew was the blue spot in the distance and after a moment, he nodded. They were silent again for a little bit, and Temari was alright with taking the conversation at his own pace. The view was beautiful, and the company was good, so she didn't mind this one bit.

"Is it right to feel this way?" He asked after a while, and the question took her by surprise.

"Why wouldn't it be right?" She inquired, curious to see where this sting of thought had come from.

"You know what I've done, the people I've harmed," Gaara said, "I've done terrible things, Temari, things I shouldn't be forgiven for, and yet I am. I am leader of the land I terrorized and protector of the people I hurt. I have been given so much I don't deserve." He looked to her, the most vulnerable she had ever seen him, "Is it selfish of me to want this, too?"

She had always known that he never really felt worthy of the good things in his life. He still felt guilt for what he had done and tried so hard to remedy a past he felt has forever ruined him. No matter how much praise he received or how wide of arms the village opened for him, Gaara would never completely feel like he deserved it. The thought of him living his life in guilt always saddened her, but maybe Momoko could change that. She had said earlier that maybe it wasn't the right time, but the more Gaara talked, the more Temari began to realize that maybe it was. Maybe this new kind of love was what he needed to finally realize that he would never again be the monster he was before, that the world had forgiven him enough to let him have something like this. If Momoko could make him realize how worthy of love, not just hers, but his own, that he was, Temari would be grateful for the rest of her days.

She reached out to him, the sand having long since stopped shielding him from his siblings, and placed her hand on his own. Gaara looked down at it, then back to her as she spoke with certainty.

"Gaara, you deserve every bit of happiness this world can give to you."

He watched her, the confident look on her face and the kind smile of her lips, then looked back to his village. He didn't say anything else, but turned his hand so he could hold hers, and together they watched the little blue dot in the distance.


	20. It’s a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the numerous people who left comments since the last chapter! I really enjoy the feedback and I’m so grateful that you guys take the time to write them for me! 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day!! Thanks for reading!!

It was odd, admitting that he was nervous. He woke up from a restless sleep with a pit in his stomach, and just barely made it through his morning routine in time. His thoughts were racing a million miles a moment, going through the list of what there was to do today, who he had to see, lunch with Momoko, paperwork he needed to get done, and a seemingly endless amount of other important things. Though it didn't show, Gaara felt a little off kilter this morning.

Gaara had come to terms with something last night as he lay awake: he did, indeed, want something more. After Temari had left him to his thoughts, the only thing on his mind was Momoko. His sister had been right, as she often was- he did want to take her places and show her new things. He just wasn't didn't know how. He had seen couples in the streets (Since the moment in Momoko's shop, Gaara had wondered more and more what that felt like) and he wanted that, too. He had never really thought about these things before, about taking someone into his arms or holding their hands in his own. Gaara had never seen himself as the type, had never thought anyone would ever spark this kind of flame inside of him, but somehow she had. He had sat up in bed, holding tight to his chest, both relieved that he could indeed feel this way about someone and terrified that he was feeling this way now. 

The Kazekage didn't know the first thing about women, or dating, or anything of the sort. He had just barely managed to befriend her, but to be more than that? He didn't know where to start or what to say. He was never very good with picking up emotions or social ques, but the way she had smiled at him that day had even Gaara a little confident that she felt something, too. It was that confession that had allowed him to finally feel the extent of whatever this was. Of course he had always found her attractive, had always been drawn to the warmth that she radiated, but the small reassurance had been nice amongst all of the confusion. Even though he didn't know what to do, Gaara was relieved that he still knew her. 

He went to work as he always did, listened to his assistant as she laid out his schedule for the day and filled out the paperwork that was given to him. The flowers that sat on his desk did not need to be switched out just yet, so that meant she wouldn't be by until lunch. In the meantime, he would lose himself in the papers on his desk and try to occupy his wandering mind. The paperwork today held little interest, save for the report of a few missing shinobi. That one did catch his eye for a moment, and he read through the file of a man named Yoshio Suzuki before having to set it aside when he realized that he was the last of a family Gaara had killed in his grief after losing his uncle. He didn't look at the rest of his file or any others of the missing shinobi, and instead set them aside to be dealt with another time.

When lunch time came around, Gaara removed his Kazekage robes and settled for his casual attire. He stood from his desk and went to the window, looking out onto the village below him as he and waited for the door to open. It didn't take very long, and Gaara froze for a moment after he turned to look at her.

Momoko always looked nice, with her hair done well and her clothes always flattering, but today was by far the best he had ever seen her. Her hair was left loose but had been spun into curls, and her lips were painted with a cherry red color that he couldn't remember seeing on her before. Her dress was the very same color as her lips, bright and beautiful- had he ever seen her wear red before? Surely not, because he would have remembered it in clarity and seared the image into his memory like he was doing now.

He tried to search his brain for the right words to say, _any_ words to say, but she picked up where he fell short.

"Good afternoon, Gaara!" She said with a smile, pulling up a chair to his desk like any other afternoon, as though she hadn't just come into his office looking the way she did, "Hungry?"

Gaara could only nod mutely, glad that he was usually silent so she wouldn't find his lack of words odd, and took a seat across from her. She sorted out their food and handed his half to him, before opening her own meal.

"How has your day been?" She asked, just as she always did, before taking a bite of her food.

He found his voice again, if only a little, "Slow," He said, taking his own food.

"Anything interesting?" Momoko questioned, gesturing to the papers that had been pushed aside on his desk. Gaara took a drink of his water, then spoke.

"A few shinobi have gone missing. They may have just lost their way back after a mission, or things didn't go well." He stated and watched as she frowned.

"Poor guys...I hope we find them soon."

"As do I."

Momoko was grateful for the silence they had fallen in after that, because it gave her some time to think. 

She had stayed up nearly all last night just thinking, pondering what could be. After her little moment of courage-it made her turn red up to her ears when she remembered it- in the shop, Momoko had let her mind often wander to where things may go from here. Of course, Gaara hadn't said something in return or admitted anything, but she didn't expect him to. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel like he had to say something he didn't mean; that wouldn't be good for either of them. She was always patient, especially with him, and she would continue to be.

That didn't mean she didn't let herself daydream just a little sometimes when business was slow or she lay awake in bed at night. She wondered sometimes what it would be like if Gaara felt the same, if he liked her the way she liked him. He was shy, hard to read, and sometimes a little awkward- would he be all of those things if they were to start a relationship? Momoko couldn't imagine it would be easy, but she knew it would be worth it. She imagined what it would be like to take his arm as they walked through the streets, or how she'd have to stand on her toes to kiss him. When she thought about those things, Momoko couldn't stop the little grin that always came to her lips. 

Of course she wanted something with him, but she didn't want him to feel pressured into anything or feel like he had to return her feelings. Worst of all, she didn't want to lose the friendship she had worked so long and so hard for. Gaara had grown important to her in these last few months and their friendship meant far more to her than she could explain. He was her closest friend and the person she saw the most- she couldn't risk that for the sake of carrying out a crush that she wasn't even sure was returned. If it meant keeping him in her life, she would be content with this.

"Have you seen Kankuro today, by any chance?" Gaara suddenly asked, pulling her from her thoughts. She raised an eyebrow at the odd question, but answered him all the same.

"Not today, no," She replied, "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." He said after a moment, and she couldn't help but notice the way his shoulders seemed to relax just a bit. Figuring it was just some sibling spat, she decided to mind her own business and not press further.

Gaara was relieved that his brother hadn't sought her out today. Though he didn't think Kankuro would try anything after Gaara had expressed his displeasure, there was still a small part of him that worried about it happening. Of course he didn't think Momoko would say yes to him; though she had warmed up to him a bit recently, he could tell that Kankuro still wasn't her favorite person in the world. As silly as it may have been, Gaara took a small and secret pride in knowing that she liked him more than his brother. 

The rest of the lunch went as it always did, talking about whatever came to mind and sometimes things that didn't really matter at all. It was less about what they discussed these days, and more about just being near each other. Momoko was a sunny spot in his day, and Gaara was a moment of peace in hers. After nearly two months of these daily meals together, they had stopped getting to know who they were and instead began to enjoy who they are. These moments together motivated each day of each week, and the time apart was spent looking forward to when they'd come together again.

Finally though, just as it did every afternoon, their time together was drawing to a close. Their meals were finished and their drinks had been drunk, and the duties of their lives began to call to them once again. He helped her put the last of their containers in the bag she had brought them in, and it reminded Momoko of something that she had been pondering the last few nights. They were always having lunch together, and she had wondered if maybe he had grown tired of being in the restricted time frame. She knew that she wasn't, but Gaara wasn't quite as easy to read. 

"Before I go, I was wondering.," She said, taking the bag off the desk and holding the handles in both hands. He noticed that she held the handles like she held to her skirt when she was nervous. "If you're free sometime, maybe we could try dinner instead?"

She didn't mean it in a romantic sense, unfortunately, just another way to try and spend time together. Of course there was no shortage of that between daily lunches, morning deliveries, and the occasional free day at her shop, but Momoko found herself wanting to see more and more of him as each day passed. 

He stared at her, and she felt her cheeks grow hot.

"J-Just because we always get lunch, you know? Or we could meet for breakfast if that works better?" Momoko looked down at her shoes, "Or we don't have to, t-that's okay too." 

"Dinner..." He trailed off, seeming to think for a moment before he said, "Tomorrow night?"

She perked up at his words, her cheeks still dark but a smile back on her lips right where it belonged. 

"Yeah! Tomorrow night works!" 

Gaara saw his chance, and he'd be damned if he didn't take it. 

"Momoko, is this going to be a date?"

Momoko felt the warmth spread to the tips of her ears, and she wasn't ashamed to let her mouth hang open just a bit as she stared at him. His eyes were turned away from her, focused on something down on his desk as she stood bewildered in front of him. For the first time, he had left her speechless. 

What was she supposed to say to that? Here she had sat and spent half of their time together today daydreaming about this chance, and here it was. She wanted to say yes, scream it at the top of her lungs as quickly as she could, but his hesitation held her back. His voice had been quiet, a little nervous, and she wasn't able to really understand the context of his question. Gaara could have asked because he wanted it to be a date, or because he was embarrassed that he may have to reject her if that were the case. The first option thrilled her, but the second was terrifying.

"What would you like it to be?" She asked, her cheeks hot as she smoothed out the nonexistent wrinkles of her dress. Momoko couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze, internally at war with the feelings of excitement and horrible nervousness that brewed inside of her like a storm. 

He was silent for a moment, and she braced herself for the cold sting of rejection, already feeling a pit begin to dig into her stomach. Until, finally, he spoke. 

"I...would like it to be a date." Gaara admitted, the vague traces of nervousness faint under the deep tone of his voice, "Only if that is what you want, as well." 

Though there was a possibility of him saying this- a slim one, she had thought- it still surprised her quite a bit. They were friends and they were close and spent a lot of time together, but Gaara had never exactly shown any kind of attention to her that felt romantic. Of course there were his lingering stares and small smiles, but she had always pegged that on his gratitude towards their friendship. Even after her moment of bravery in her shop, nothing about the way he treated her felt different. 

But she would be lying if she said a little seed of hope hadn't planted itself in her heart sometime between now and their talk at the shop. Even though nothing had really changed, she had still been hopeful that he had realized that it was he that she had a crush on, as silly as it sounded. Apparently he had, because here he was, admitting to her that a date _was_ what he wanted. And it was absolutely what she wanted, too.

"I do," She said with a nervous smile that Gaara returned with a smaller one of his own. His smile seemed to give her the confidence she needed to set these exciting plans in stone, "Its a date!"


	21. Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! 
> 
> Thank you so much for leaving your feedback and reading!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

As they planned, Gaara was waiting at the bottom of the staircase that led to her apartment above the shop at exactly 6pm. After getting over the initial excitement, Temari had gone through the entirety of his very boring wardrobe before deciding, reluctantly, that his usual crimson coat and grey vest were the safest option. They hadn't planned on anything too fancy, deciding on the same Yakiniku restaurant that she had treated herself to those few months ago. When she thought about it, it felt so strange that she had been here nearly half a year already. Time sure flies by when you were happy.

Just a few moments later, he heard the door open and saw her step out and lock the door behind her. She turned to him with a bright smile, her cheeks already pink, and came down the stairs towards him.

No matter how many times he saw her, she would always take him by surprise with how wonderful she looked. Her hair was woven into a long braid down her back and her makeup was light and natural. The dress she chose was a light pink with little white flowers spotting it here and there, and it hugged her upper half until flaring out at her waist. She smiled again at him, another one that made him go quiet for a moment.

"Are you ready?" She asked, hoping her voice wouldn't give away how nervous she was.

He only nodded, afraid that he may have also come across as anything less than collected, and offered her his arm to take. The gesture made her cheeks go darker, but the smile on her lips widened and she wasted no time in taking it. This time, no sand even tried to keep her away, and they set out for their destination.

"Have you been here before?" Momoko questioned as they walked, less conscious of the looks that people sent their way. It wasn't every day that the Kazekage was out with a lady on his arm, but she was too focused on him to care.

"Once," He said, glancing down at her for just a moment before back up again, "When they first opened. I try to visit new shops when I can."

"And here I felt special," She teased lightly, and a small smile came to his lips.

"You're the only flower shop I've been to," He replied, then added, "If that helps."

"It does," She hummed, and the smile didn't leave his face for a while longer.

When they arrived at the restaurant, the hostess almost dropped the menus in her hand when she saw the Kazekage standing in front of her. They were seated immediately in a more secluded part of the restaurant, one that was a little quieter and allowed them to hear each other better. Usually Gaara wouldn't accept the special treatment but just for tonight, he let it slide. Someone was at their table as soon as they were seated, welcoming them in and asking their drink orders. After a brief talk they decided on waters and a bottle of sake to share.

"Does that ever bother you?" She asked once the server left them, moving so quick she hardly got a chance to thank him.

"Does what bother me?" He asked, looking over the menu in front of him.

"You know, people hurrying to serve and pamper you." She said with a shrug, already knowing what kind of meats and vegetables she wanted.

"Sometimes it does," Gaara admitted, then sat the menu down to turn his attention to her, "Kankuro cares for it more than I do, I'm afraid."

Momoko snickered, "That doesn't surprise me at all."

The server was back with their waters and sake, then took their orders with an eagerness that almost made Momoko's head spin. He was gone almost as quickly as he came, and Momoko was determined to thank him the next time around.

Gaara poured them each a small cup of the sake, and Momoko thanked him as she took hers. They had had meals together hundreds of times, so why did this one make her so nervous? She tried not to let Gaara notice that she drank nearly half of her cup with one sip. By no means did she want to get absolutely wasted on their first date- the term _first date_ bounced in her head- but they did call it liquid courage.

"It's strange," Gaara said, drawing her attention to him again, "We've eaten together so many times before, and yet this feels different."

"Those were never dates." She said, trying to say it casually despite the way her cheeks still colored a bit.

"No," He replied, "I suppose they weren't."

They sat in silence for a moment more, before she spoke.

"I'm surprised you asked, in all honesty." She admitted, and his gaze flickered up to her.

"Technically, you asked me."

She shifted in her seat, "I suggested dinner, or breakfast. I didn't think of it as a date until you said so."

"Do you not want this to be a date?"

"No!" She said quickly, so much so that it seemed to startle him a bit. Realizing her eagerness, Momoko fiddled with the hem of her dress, "N-No, I...I'm really glad this is a date."

"I'm glad, too."

Eventually, the more they sipped at their drinks and the more they adjusted to this new circumstance, things slipped right into place for them. Soon the nervousness of before had melted away and though they both knew that this was a very different context, they slipped into the familiar ease with each other that they had in the afternoons. She drank a little more than he did, but not so much so that she swayed where she sat or hiccuped when she talked. The sake filled her with a comfortable warmth and from the small smile that seemed to stay on Gaara's lips, he felt it too.

The meats and vegetables came out quicker than they expected, but they didn't mind. They talked about anything that came to mind, but the sight of a family getting up and walking past them drew her attention for a moment. She giggled at the silly little boy that babbled away in his parent's arms, then turned to Gaara with a new question on her mind.

"Gaara," She started, "What were your parents like?"

He paused, lowering his chopsticks as he turned his eyes up to meet hers. She was smiling at him, her cheeks red from both the company and the alcohol. It occurred to him then that they had never really talked about their parents- it hadn't come up before. Gaara didn't want to disappoint her, but the topic was already uncomfortable to talk about and the last place he wanted to do so was in the middle of a restaurant.

"I will tell you another time, if that's alright." He said evenly, then resumed turning the meat on the grill, "May I ask about yours?"

It wasn't very often that Gaara didn't answer her questions, which is why she knew better than to press on about it now. If he wanted to tell her, he would in his own time. For now though, she was more than happy to share that part of her life with him.

"Of course!" She said, "My parents weren't shinobi, as you probably guessed already. They met when they were teenagers, fell in love, and had me. They opened the shop a couple of years after I was born, they're the ones who made the flowers so important to me."

Gaara listened quietly and respectfully, just as he always did, before asking.

"What were they like?"

The smile that came to her lips was warm, and the look in her eye became a little more distant as she absently turned over one of the vegetables.

"They were wonderful. My dad was the one who dreamed about the shop, he taught me everything I know about tending to and planting the flowers. He always tried to make me laugh whenever he could, that usually meant throwing dirt at me or blowing bubbles in his tea at dinner," She laughed softly, "My mom didn't like the dirt part very much, but she was as silly as he was. When she read stories to me as a kid she always had different voices for each character and used these big, dramatic gestures on every page. They always left notes for me around the house, too, in places where they knew I'd find them. They were just little things, like wishing me a good day or telling me they loved me. I have all of them in a box at home."

Momoko paused for a moment, the fond little look still in her eye even as she became a little sheepish.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on."

As nice as it was to hear that Momoko's home had been filled with love and happiness, a part of Gaara couldn't help but feel a bit of longing tug at his heart. Of course he had stopped seeking closure or validation from his late father long ago, but that did not mean he didn't regret the loss of his childhood. The emptiness caused by a father that hated him and a mother he never knew was apparent at times, and sometimes Gaara let himself pause for a moment and mourn. He never shed tears for them, all he could really do was love the family he had left.

"You don't have to apologize," He reassured her, "They sound wonderful. I wish I could have met them."

She smiled, this time the way she always did for him, "They would have loved you."

For a reason he couldn't place, Gaara was glad she thought so.

Like always, Momoko did most of the talking and Gaara was more than happy to just listen. Sometimes he would smile or add commentary of his own, but he was content to let her lead the conversation. Of course he was never really one for talking anyway, but Momoko always managed to draw more words from his lips than anyone ever had before. That was the effect she had on him, and sitting across from her made him realize a few changes that he hadn't quite noticed until now.

In the beginning there was the desire to be her friend, to hear her voice and be near her. He had wanted that kindness in his life, that beautiful glow that she seemed to bring to every room. Of course he had found her attractive, but more than that had been the desire to get to know her and be a part of her life in any way that he could. Then their friendship had formed, and he looked forward to seeing her more and more each day. His friend was patient, eager to see him and return some of the attention that he consistently gave her. It was a subtle warmth, the simple desire to be around another person and to be called a friend.

Slowly, without him even realizing it, something had changed. Maybe it was a result of feeling her in his arms or their day in the shop , but things felt different now. It didn't feel like the desire to just be her friend and have her around once in a while, it felt like something a little more. Time apart from her was spent looking forward to when they were together again. When she was there, the rest of the room seemed to blur and he clung to every word that came out of her mouth. He couldn't tear his eyes from her when she was moving, and her smiles lingered in his mind long after she was gone. The feeling of her in his arms had seared itself into his memory and he found himself thinking of that moment any time his mind wasn't previously occupied. Being around her didn't feel like a subtle warmth anymore, it felt like a flame in his chest that grew brighter and brighter each moment they spent together.

It made him nervous, afraid, and a little unsure of himself. Gaara had felt love before, a platonic and familial kind, but nothing like this. Of course he wasn't in love with her but this was the first time he had ever longed for something more. He was unsure of himself when it came to this, being that everything was so new and strange to him. The small part of him that still loathed the monster he was and considered himself unworthy of even being near her was certain he was going to ruin this just as he had many other things in his life. She would realize he didn't know what he was doing or how to be something more, and he would lose the friend he had come to hold so dear. The thought of it was almost enough to make him forget it all in the first place.

But now that he was here he wasn't as afraid as he had been before, because he had realized that it was foolish of him to fear anything at all. Momoko had met every single one of his advances and suggestions with unparalleled kindness. She was patient and calm, and consistently wonderful even when he fell short. He didn't have the same social or emotional skills that she did, and he knew that she knew that, but never once did it seem to bother her. His fear felt silly, because he knew that Momoko would never be anything short of wonderful when it came to them.

That was when he liked most about her, truthfully. Despite knowing some of the horrendous things he had done, some of which had affected her friends directly, she never failed to treat him with anything but kindness and friendliness. He had been cautious when she said she didn't resent him for who he was in the past, but the closer they had gotten and the more they had come to know about each other, Gaara had started to believe her. She treated him like anyone else, like a friend, like he was _normal._ And that was what he had always wanted, wasn't it, to be normal?

Before long, the food was gone and their cups were empty. Momoko had tried to pay but Gaara had held his hand up and refused her. Just like always when it came to money, Momoko tried to convince him otherwise and Gaara ignored every word. Reluctantly, she let him pay with the threat of her taking the bill the next time; the mention of a next time made him smile.

Momoko took his arm with a blush when he offered it to her, and together they left the restaurant to walk the streets of Suna. The sun had long since set and the stars that hung in the sky above them twinkled with each step they took. She couldn't help but look up at them, resting her head on Gaara's shoulder as she did so.

"This feels like Déjà vu," She commented with a small smile.

"I'll make sure you won't bump into anyone." He said, and Momoko chuckled at his words.

"Believe me, I won't be making that mistake again." Momoko mused, then turned her eyes back to the sky.

"What are you looking for?" He asked, glancing up at the twinkling stars that dotted the night.

"It may sound silly, but my parents once told me that the people we lost would become stars." She explained, "When the sky is clear like this I can't help but think that maybe they're looking back, you know?"

Gaara watched the sky silently, taking her words into consideration. Momoko's parents would be in those stars, and he vaguely hoped they approved of him like she had said they would. That would mean his mother was there too; was she proud of what she saw?

He didn't reply to her, but Momoko was alright with that. She was content with just this, holding to his arm as they watched the stars. Here she had thought that the evening would be nothing but a train wreck of nerves and insecurities, but as soon as they had settled into their familiar conversation, the worries had melted away. Gaara had never been anything but incredibly kind and good to her, she was silly for having thought a date would change any of that. The friendship they shared only gave these new feelings more foundation to grow on, and Momoko would be lying if she were to say that they hadn't grown tonight. Of course he wasn't overly romantic (the only new thing he had really done was allow her to take his arm), but Momoko didn't expect him to be. He was himself, and that alone was enough to keep the warmth in her heart the whole night through.

Sooner than she would have liked, they had crossed the market place and come to a stop before the stairs that led up to her apartment above the shop. For the first time since the beginning of the night, uncertainty lingered in the air.

When he had left the office so that he could go home and change before the date, his siblings had tried to give him a few pointers on how these were supposed to go. Offer her your arm, compliment her- damnit, he had forgotten that- listen when she spoke, keep the conversation going, don't make her uncomfortable (these sounded like the things they already did, truthfully), pay for the meal, walk her home, and then...This is where his siblings had disagreed. Kankuro had said to take her into his arms and dip her low as he kissed her breathless, but Temari had seemed horrified at the very thought of it and insisted that he should only kiss her if she initiated it first. Of course that resulted in Kankuro saying that, as the man- Temari groaned at those words- it was Gaara's job to kiss her, not the other way around. That started a screaming match between the two, and Gaara felt more confused then he had been before.

Momoko seemed to be at just as much of a loss as he was. Of course she had more romantic experience than he did, but it was because of that that she wasn't really sure what to do. Most people kissed at the end of the date, she knew that much, but she wasn't sure if Gaara was aware of that. She didn't expect him to know that, but she also had no way of knowing if he didn't know that. To add to the nervousness of it all, the thought of kissing Gaara had made her cheeks grow hot all the way to her ears. Would he even want to kiss her? Was she even ready to kiss him? Of course the night had been wonderful and they were already close friends, but was that right for them? Gaara was not the most emotionally in-tune person she knew, and they had only just started to touch each other without his sand pushing her away; a date was already a larger step than she ever thought they would take, the last thing she wanted to do was pressure him into taking another.

"Thank you for tonight," She finally said, trying to stop herself from gripping at the fabric she had meticulously ironed, "I had a lot of fun."

"As did I," He said with a small nod, watching as she shifted on her feet in front of him. She looked as nervous as he felt.

She offered him a hesitant smile and they stood there for a few moments longer, the uncertainty thick in the air.

"Gaara-"

"Momoko-"

They both paused, afraid to run over the other's words; it made Momoko laugh softly and Gaara's eyes crinkled just slightly in amusement as he watched her. When she had quieted, she seemed a little more at ease this time, and the smile on her lips was a bit more sure of herself.

"It feels silly, being nervous around you." She said, her eyes turning to meet him for a moment before she looked away.

"I...am nervous too," He admitted after a moment and it almost surprised her that he was so clear about how he felt. That was certainly new, too.

"I-I don't want you to feel like we have to...you know, k-kiss or anything..." Momoko said, her cheeks darkening as she looked out across the empty square, "A date was already more than I could have hoped for."

He fell silent again, and Momoko glanced up to see that his eyes were also turned away from her and out into the square. His eyebrows were furrowed, as though he were thinking through something, and Momoko was nervous that she had upset him in some way.

Gaara's heart was beating in his ears, and the emotions that ran through him were the most foreign he had ever felt before. He had never been in this situation, standing in front of a beautiful girl who looked up at him with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. His chest had never felt so tight, and this warmth had never flooded him like it did now. He almost wanted to bid her goodnight and retreat back into the safety of his own home, but the idea of leaving her right now felt harder than staying. The idea of kissing her made that flame inside of him burn brighter, made his heart beat so loud he heard it above all else.

Along with the desire to touch her again, to feel lips against his own for the very first time, there was something else that Gaara longed for right then. Everyone found someone attractive, stared a little longer at the beautiful woman across the table from them, went on a date at some point in their lives. The desire to have this, what ever _this_ was, was comforting for an entirely different reason. Not just because it was Momoko, or because she looked so beautiful in the streetlight above them, but because Gaara realized that this experience was not entirely unique to them. Of course it was special because they were with each other, but just as everyone stared and went on dates, they kissed and touched, and held someone close. To want to do the same, to kiss Momoko, felt wonderful because it made him feel _normal_.

"No, I...I would like to." He said, his tone a little lower, a little quieter, than she was used to hearing, "...may I?"

Momoko felt like her heart would leap out of her chest if he spoke another word. She was sure the skin of her cheeks was burned right off from how hot they were and she couldn't help but grab at the fabric of her dress. More than nervousness or uncertainty, his words made her feel so incredibly light, like she was weightless in that moment. It felt like he had reassured her of something, had calmed a nerve she didn't even realize had been wound up in the first place. He had admitted, in some small way, that he wanted her too.

"O-Of course," She finally said, hoping her voice wasn't as breathless as she felt.

Gaara looked back to her, met her eyes then glanced away again. She saw his hand twitch at his side, and realized then that he wasn't entirely sure what to do. Momoko held out her hands to him, hoping he wouldn't realize how much they trembled, and it only took him a moment before he laid his hands in hers. She held them gently, relishing in the feeling of it, before slowly guiding them to rest on her waist.

He had tensed and watched her every move, silent as he let her guide him. The feeling of her waist beneath his hands made his breath halt, as did being this close to her. Their chests almost touched, and the same feeling he had felt when he first held her began to rise in him again. This time it was more intense, more nervous, and Gaara had to tear his eyes away from his hands to her face to try and not be consumed by it. For the first time in his life, Gaara felt an unfamiliar heat in his cheeks and watched Momoko's eyes widen as she noticed the way pink had lightly dusted across his pale face.

Gaara was always handsome, but right now he was more so than she had ever seen before. His usually pale cheeks were colored ever so slightly and his eyes were a little wide. The street light behind him made a halo around his red hair, and the sight nearly took the last of her breath away. Being this close to him again, this time for an entirely different reason, made Momoko's stomach do somersaults. She offered him a weak, nervous smile, then reached up to take his face into her hands.

"Wait," He said suddenly, softly, just before her hands could reach him and Momoko froze. She was instantly afraid that she had made him uncomfortable, had pushed him a little too far or that he had changed his mind, until she realized why he had made her stop.

It looked like parts of his face had begun to crack and turn to sand, and Momoko watched with wide and startled eyes as some sort of shell began to crumble away from his face and fall to the ground. She didn't pull away from him or step back, instead watched as the last of it fell away and left what she now knew was his bare face. He had told her about this before, the sand armor he wore against his skin, but she couldn't understand why he had decided to let it drop in this moment.

"Why...?" She trailed off, the confusion clear in her words.

"I want to feel this," He said, barely above a whisper, "I want to feel _you._ "

More than nervousness, more than worries or fears, what Momoko felt right then was nothing short of bliss. He had already done so much more than she could ever have hoped from him, had become her friend and wore her silly apron and smiled at her when he hardly smiled at anyone else. What he lacked in expression he made up for in moments like these, where he looked at her with these tender eyes and warm gaze, like there was nowhere else in the world he had so wanted to be than right by her side. She saw this look when she talked, when he felt flowers and stared a moment longer at her when he thought she wasn't looking. It was these moments of sincerity that had made Momoko see him differently in the first place.

She took his face into her hands, and he closed his eyes at the feeling of someone caressing him after a lifetime without. She was as soft as the flowers she grew, and so was he. He was so warm under her touch and she was gentle with each small stroke of her thumb against his cheek. Maybe he didn't even notice it, but Gaara had leaned into her touch and Momoko couldn't help the smile that came to her lips. Slowly, she stood a little taller on her toes, and Gaara dipped his head every so slightly.

_You deserve every bit of happiness this world can give to you._

It wasn't fireworks or explosions, it was something so much more. It felt like the rest of the world had fallen silent, like nothing else existed beyond the feel of their lips pressed together under the streetlight. Neither of them could tell if it was their heart or the other's that pounded against their chests, but it didn't matter. She stepped closer to him and Gaara let his arms circle around her waist to hold her a little closer as the world around them faded to nothing.


	22. A Good Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to LadyAmazon and drokaria for their continuous feedback! I love reading your comments every chapter and I really appreciate you guys leaving them!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you very much for reading!

"Gaara!"

The sound of his name startled him almost as much as the sudden bursting of his door wide open. In front of him, Kankuro instantly stopped talking and turned around, baffled at the woman who had just barged in. Her cheeks were flushed and she was a little out of breath, but there was a sparkle in her eye as she passed Kankuro and rounded the desk. Gaara just barely had enough time to stand up before she was in front of him. She made the motion to reach for him, but then stopped suddenly, bouncing a little on her heels.

"Can I touch you?" She asked, almost too quickly for him to understnad. He did though, and she threw her arms around his neck before he had even finished nodding. 

"Momoko?" Gaara breathed out, her arms around him taking his breath away; the confusion of her sudden appearance and her excitement made his head spin. 

"I can't even begin to thank you enough!" She laughed, almost in disbelief.

"What for?" He asked, glancing over at a snickering Kankuro. His brother just shrugged and leaned back in his seat, watching with a grin. Gaara turned his attention back to her, hesitating for a moment before letting his hands rest lightly on her waist.

"The politician!" Momoko exclaimed, pulling away just enough to place her hands on his chest but not step out of his hold, "Daichi Nakano! He and his fiance came to my shop this morning to talk about flowers for their wedding! He told me you recommended me!"

"I did," He replied, still not comprehending why she was so excited. Didn't she get orders for flowers all the time? "I'm afraid I still don't understand."

"It's a huge order, Gaara! It takes hundreds of flowers to decorate a wedding!" Momoko explained, nearly bouncing on her heels, "This order will pay for the next year of rent and then some! And really get my name out there for events! God, Gaara, I-"

"Hey, Momoko." Kankuro greeted, and Momoko froze on the spot. Instantly, the flush on her cheeks returned and darkened tenfold. In her excitement, she hadn't even noticed that Gaara had company.

She instantly stepped away from him, her ears red as she stumbled over words to say.

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't realize you were in the middle of something! I was just so excited and I wanted to tell you and I-" She stopped herself, realizing that she was talking far too much and far too quickly. Momoko took a deep breath, until finally saying meekly, "Hey, Kankuro."

"Do I get one of those hugs?" He said with a grin, taking note of the way Gaara's eyes sharply turned to him and Momoko buried her face into her hands.

Of course they had touched before, more often since their first date, but they hadn't been in each other's arms since then. She had brought a new bouquet of flowers the next morning, this one orchids, and had let her hand gently rest over his before leaving again. When they had lunches together, Momoko would reach across the desk and ask to take his hand and he would let her hold it through the meal. They were simple touches, subtle and warm, and Gaara enjoyed each one of them. Despite their kiss nearly a week ago, their daily physical affection still needed some work. But they were both patient and just glad to have the opportunity at all.

"I'm sorry for interrupting you two," She finally said once she had composed herself enough though her cheeks still stayed just a little pink.

Kankuro waved her off, "No worries, this is obviously a big deal."

The wide smile came back to her lips, and the purple-painted man stared as she turned her attention back to Gaara.

"It really is a big deal, Gaara," Momoko said, the excitement still clear in her words though the energy had died down, "I don't know how I could even begin to thank you for the recommendation."

"You don't have to," He said simply, but she obviously wouldn't take no for an answer.

"I'm definitely paying for dinner, next time," She said, and Kankuro saw that look on Gaara's face again, "And dessert, too!"

Gaara sent a glance to Kankuro, who offered him two thumbs up. It wasn't so much to get his reassurance as it was that he'd have preferred to have this talk without his brother near. Still, Kankuro didn't seem fazed by it (Gaara had realized not too soon after that dinner that Kankuro's intentions to ask out Momoko had been a bluff) and so Gaara turned his attention back to her.

"Alright," He agreed with a small nod, one that made Momoko's whole face light up.

The older brother stood from the chair across the desk and stretched out tall, giving a relieved sigh when his back popped. The two turned their attention to him, and he offered them a smile.

"I'll come back another time, yeah?" He said, "You kids have fun!"

He turned and left, closing the door behind him. Kankuro shoved his hands in his pockets, smile still on his lips, and made his way down to the lobby. Usually he'd head right to his shop which was conveniently located in the Kazekage Tower, but there were a few tools he needed to grab in the marketplace this afternoon. It'd be nice to get out of the workspace for a while, get a breath of fresh, dry air. Kankuro was stopped in the lobby before he could walk out, called over by a few shinobi that lingered around the room. Having no schedule of his own, Kankuro strolled on over and let the other men pull him into a conversation about a mission they had just been assigned.

It wasn't until he heard the receptionist call out to someone that he peeked up to the lobby again. The shinobi had a few questions and asked for a few pointers, which Kankuro was more than happy to give, but he hadn't realized how long he had stood there talking to him. It must have been a bit because Momoko was already heading out the doors. Kankuro suddenly bid the guys a farewell, before calling out to her just as Hana had.

"Momoko! Wait up!"

He jogged to meet her where she had stopped at the front doors. Her mood was still light, her cheeks still a little flushed, and the same smile from earlier was on her lips. 

"Hey, Kankuro," She greeted for the second time that day, "Need something?"

He shook his head, opened up the door for her so she could go through.

"I've gotta grab something in the market, so I figured I'd walk with you."

"Sure!" She chirped, and they fell into stride as they walked.

Maybe it was her good mood or the fact that she had started to come around to Kankuro a little more, but the company wasn't entirely unpleasant to her. Of course in the beginning they had been a little hostile, but since opening day, Momoko could stand more and more of him. He was a little rough around the edges, but not too bad overall.

"So do you have all of those flowers for the wedding already or do you have to grow them or something?" He asked, his hands shoved into his pockets as he walked beside her.

"I'll have to send word to Ino Yamanaka in Konoha so she can do some gathering for me, then I'll have to go pick them up in a month or so." She replied happily, her pretty purple dress swaying as they walked.

"Guess it'll be pretty hard to leave for a while, now that you've got someone to come back to." Kankuro teased lightly, giving her a little nudge.

He didn't miss the warmth of her smile, or the way her fingers ghosted lightly over her lips as she looked away.

"Yeah," She said fondly, "I guess so."

"Just a heads up though, if you break my brother's heart, I'm gonna kick your ass." 

The words seemed to startle her, and she looked back at him. He didn't look especially hostile or serious any way, but Momoko didn't doubt the truth behind his words.

"You don't have to worry," Momoko answered truthfully, "I'd never hurt him like that," 

"Better not," He replied, then after a moment he added, "Have you ever even been in a relationship before?"

"Have you?" She remarked quickly, and the way Kankuro's cheeks darkened didn't go unnoticed.

"That's not what we're talking about!" He snapped, and Momoko snickered, "Well?"

Her snickering died down and soon a silence fell between the two of them. Momoko couldn't help but feel a little of her mood damped, and she turned down to the ground as they walked. She hadn't thought of Naruto much these past few days- the excitement of being near Gaara in a new way had taken her complete focus. But now that Kankuro brought it up, memories of him and the false promise she had made began to flood back and Momoko felt a frown come to her lips.

"Didn't end well, huh?" Kankuro asked, and she tried to offer him a small smile.

"No," She sighed, "It didn't." 

"What happened?"

"We just wanted different things, I guess. He was a shinobi and I'm, well, not." She answered truthfully, and watched the way Kankuro's brow furrowed a bit at her words.

"You do realize that Gaara is a shinobi too, right?"

"Gaara's different," She countered, "He's the Kazekage, he won't have to be gone for missions all the time or put himself in constant danger." 

Beside her, Kankuro snorted and she looked at him with a raised brow. 

"Gaara is _always_ in constant danger, Momoko." He said, "Being the Kazekage means that he's just got a bigger target on his back. Should any threat come to the village, Gaara's the first man on the front lines."

Momoko frowned, her good mood from earlier slipping away almost entirely. She hadn't really thought about that before, that part of Gaara's duties were to literally defend the village. Of course he wouldn't always be away for missions, but he did have a responsibility towards his people. She had been so wrapped up in being his friend, in getting to know him and then suddenly becoming something more, that she had completely forgotten about the realities of his title.

"Gaara can handle himself," Momoko defended, but there was something in her words that felt weak, unsure.

"And if he can't?" Kankuro quickly pushed, and Momoko was startled to hear him talk like that, "Listen, you need to understand what you're getting yourself into. It's one thing to bring him flowers and go to dinner with him, it's another to watch him leave for a battle that he may not come back from- can you handle that?"

"You don't think he can defend himself?" Momoko replied, trying not to let him get into her head as they walked.

"It's not like it hasn't happened." He said, his words tense, "You know that he's failed before."

_It was...what I imagine drowning feels like._

Momoko's pace slowed a little, until she finally came to a stop. Kankuro stopped too and waited for her, watched the way her face went through different emotions- none of them good. She looked confused, worried, a complete opposite of what she had been this morning.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" She said, looking up at Kankuro with all the strength she could muster.

"Because you're the only one Gaara has ever let this close," He answered truthfully, and any trace of playfulness that he usually had was gone, "And I'm not going to sit back and watch him get hurt because you can't handle what it takes to be important to him." 

Momoko pursed her lips together and turned her eyes from his solid gaze. She bunched the fabric of her dress in her hands, her eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly as she let her eyes trail over the houses of the village. Could she handle that? Could she knowingly watch Gaara walk away to battle and accept the fact that he may not come home? She had left Naruto for similar reasons- mostly because of the time they would have to spend apart, but she did realize that the amount of danger Gaara was in was far greater. He would protect this village to the death, he had already done so once before. Could she sit and watch?

She turned and looked over her shoulder, at the Kazekage building not too far from them. They had walked halfway to the market, but she could still see the windows of his office that overlooked the village. Momoko knew he was in there, maybe still standing in the very same spot where she had pressed her lips to his cheek right before she left. His cheeks had gone just the slightest shade of pink, so faint that she only noticed it because she was standing so close. And he had looked down at her the same way he always had, like she was one of her flowers, and Momoko's heart ached at the idea of never seeing that look again. She had stood in that office not too long ago and wept over the idea of having never met him at all; surely, it would be worse to lose him now that he was in her life.

But worse than that, worse than the idea of losing him, was the idea of leaving him. Whatever they had was still so new, so foreign to the both of them, but Momoko could already feel the potential of what they could be if they kept walking the path they were now. Their friendship had been strong, easy to fall into and as comfortable as any she had before; if things were to go further, if they were to fall in love, she knew that he would be everything to her. Could she stand to lose everything?

"I don't know, Kankuro." She answered honestly, "I don't know if I can handle it. If something were to happen and Gaara was called to fight, I...I don't know that I could watch him go."

Kankuro was quiet, his eyes narrowed as he watched her look at the Kazekage Tower. It seemed as though he had brought a few things to her attention that she hadn't taken into consideration before, and her answer was enough to prove him right. As much as Kankuro wanted Gaara to be happy, he wanted Momoko to not buck under the weight of that task.

Of course he wanted the best for his brother, but he wanted to make sure she _was_ the best. If it came time for the world or the village to need Gaara, he wanted to know that Momoko would either be there to hug him when he returned or be the first one at his funeral. Sure, he liked Momoko, but now that she and his brother had started to actually pursue something like romance, Kankuro wanted to be sure that she was aware of and could handle everything that came with it. A part of him believed that this would be Gaara's only chance at love, that he would never let anyone that close again if something were to go wrong, and he wanted to make sure that nothing _did_ go wrong. If Momoko left when Gaara needed her most because she couldn't handle the weight of it, Gaara would never recover and Kankuro would never forgive her.

"But..." Her words drew Kankuro from his thoughts, and he shifted his gaze to see that she was now meeting his eye directly, "But I don't know if I could leave either."

"You don't know if you could stay, but you don't know if you could leave?" Kankuro asked, the hostility clear in his words. 

"With Naruto, I knew for a fact that I couldn't handle losing him. He left for three years and it was the lowest point of my life. I was so scared that he wouldn't come back, so terrified of the idea he'd die that I crumbled under the weight of it and ran."

Kankuro's eyes widened as her words sank in- most importantly, that name. _Naruto_. She had loved _Naruto_. It made sense now, the fact that she grinned like him and that Gaara had mentioned the way she seemed to recoil at his name. He was surprised that of everyone in Konoha, it had been him. Kankuro wasn't sure what to do with this information, and listened to the rest of what she had to say.

Her eyes were different now, and Kankuro couldn't help but notice how different this was to the first time they had met. She had been a stuttering, blushing mess under his scrutiny, but now she stood with her gaze firm and her head tilted just a little higher. 

"But I don't feel like that with Gaara. Since I met him, since we've been friends, he's made me feel so...different. The longer I stay here and the more I'm around him, the braver I feel. I've never been very good at standing my ground or defending myself, but being here has made all of that so easy." She laughed softly, "It feels silly, to think I've changed so soon, but...I have. He makes me feel brave, more than I've ever felt before. I'm so much more sure of myself here because he's always been so sure of me. Maybe I couldn't stay now, but if things go on as they are, if I keep changing like this, I don't think I'd ever be able to walk away. Just give me time, Kankuro, and I _will_ be the person that Gaara needs."

He watched the way she smiled, a stark contrast to the nervous fumbling of the first time he had seen her. He realized that she had changed, in some way. Maybe it really was Gaara like she claimed it was, or the hardships that came with starting a new life, but Kankuro hardly recognized her from when they had first met. Of course she was still prone to moments of embarrassment, but she had started to return Kankuro's teasing and light jabs with some of her own, had even been able to now walk beside him without feeling on edge. There was something about her that was different now, and he realized as she spoke that it was the difference a little confidence and a little courage could make. 

If she could continue to change, become more sure of herself and what she could handle, then Kankuro wouldn't stand in their way. Maybe it would just take time for her to build the strength it took to stay at Gaara's side, but seeing the change with his own eyes made Kankuro a little more at ease. If what she had said was true, then Kankuro could accept it. If just Gaara's friendship had made her this way, he was confident in what his love could do. There was something in Momoko's smile that gave Kankuro all the reassurance he needed.

"If you ever begin to doubt yourself again, and realize you really can't handle this," Kankuro spoke, "Promise me you'll leave. Right then and there." 

She nodded, never breaking his gaze, "I promise."

A smile spread on his lips, more at ease now, and she smiled right back.

"Come on, then. Lets keep going."

She caught up to him, and they walked through the village with a new feeling between them. It wasn't the animosity it was before, or the thick air of mistrust, or even the tense playfulness they had sometimes slipped into. This was more firm, more meaningful- it was acceptance. Kankuro respected her a little more now, for the person she was growing into and the person he knew she would be, and Momoko saw him in a new light after standing up for his brother in his own odd way.

When they had first met, Momoko thought he was an entitled jerk who enjoyed picking on others just for the hell of it. But he had proven himself little by little: delivering the flowers the first time, his playful hip bump on the way out the door when the shop first opened, even invited her to lunch when she and Temari had come home. Of course he still had his moments of crudeness or when he felt the need to tease her, but Momoko found that she didn't mind as she had before. He cared so much about Gaara, otherwise he wouldn't have threatened her to begin with. He wasn't the heartless asshole she had thought, he was a big brother who wanted nothing but the best for his sibling and this new image of him was enough to prove to Momoko that he was a friend worth having.

"I do like you, by the way." He said as they walked, and Momoko snickered. 

"Yeah, I know you do." She bumped her hip against his, and Kankuro couldn't help but grin, "I like you too."

They stopped in front of her shop when the time finally came, and Momoko stood on her toes to press a light kiss to his cheek.

"You're a good brother, Kankuro." She said, "I'm glad he has you."

His cheeks turned red beneath his purple paint, and he turned his head away from her the moment she pulled away. 

"Yeah, yeah," He huffed, shoving his hands back into his pockets, "Don't go thinking I'm a big softie or something."

She laughed, and Kankuro couldn't help but stare.

"I wouldn't dream of it." She unlocked the door of the shop, then turned back to offer him a smile, "Thanks for walking with me, Kankuro. I'll see you later!"

He watched as the door closed behind her, watched the carved white wood and the flower wreath on the door, and stood there for just a few moments longer. Kankuro placed a hand on his cheek where her lips had just been, and he couldn't help but smile.

A small part of him, a part that he buried away almost as soon as it surfaced, wished that he had met her first.


	23. The Roof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It wasn't often that they weren't in the office during the afternoons, but today Gaara had needed a breather and Momoko was more than happy to give him one.

There seemed to be a few more things for Gaara to do lately, more paperwork that needed filled out and more meetings that called for his presence. They had planned to go out again the night before, but something had called his attention away and he was unable to leave the office at a decent time. So he made up for it with this: the idea of going out to lunch instead of bringing it to his office. He had insisted that he could take the hour or so out of his day, and after reassuring her that it wouldn't interrupt his schedule, Momoko had agreed.

It did cross her mind that this would be the first time she and Gaara were out during the day, and she vaguely wondered if he cared that they would be seen together by the village. Of course they had gone out together before, but that wasn't in the middle of the day where the foot traffic was the highest.

She met him at the doors of the Kazekage Tower, where he stood waiting in his casual clothes. At the sight of her, Gaara offered her his arm and she took it without hesitation. 

"You look nice today," He said, and the words brought some color to her cheeks.

Like usual, Momoko had done herself up for the day. Her hair was up and twisted into two buns on the sides of her head, and she had tucked a few small daisies between the strands. The dress she wore was a simple cotton fabric with a few ruffles around the bodice and hem, and was the color of honeysuckles. Her shoes were simple sandals, and they paired well with the ease of the outfit. It was light and comfortable, and Gaara couldn't help but like her in white.

"I think that's the first time you've ever complimented how I look," She said, no malice in her words. It was more a pleasant observation than anything else. "Thank you,"

"I'll do so more often." He replied, and Momoko was glad to see that even though they were in public, he still spared her a small smile.

Momoko placed her other hand on the arm she was already holding as they walked together in stride. With a smile still on her lips and her hands on Gaara, Momoko slipped easily into the comfort of his company.

"You picked a nice day to go out," She hummed, a little spring to her step, "It's beautiful outside!" 

It was true: today seemed to be an especially nice day. There were clouds that rolled lazily in the sky, blocking the direct light of the sun but keeping all of the warmth from it. Around them, people bustled and went about their busy days. Children too young for the academy or not meant for the shinobi lifestyle accompanied their parents who walked the streets, and Momoko couldn't help but smile at every one they saw. Some people would greet Gaara, to which the Kazekage replied with a nod of his own, but others were content to just stare at the two of them or offer them smiles if their gazes ever met.

The closer they got to the marketplace, the more they could smell the food from restaurants that had opened for lunch. It was a little different than in the mornings, when the only food stores open were the bakeries. Momoko would open her window before the shop opened for the day and sit with a cup of coffee, enjoying the smells of fresh pastries and sweets. The afternoon brought the opposite, filling the market with the scents of cooked meats and seasoned dishes. It wasn't often that either of them got to enjoy this village during the day and the fact that they got to do so together kept a smile on Momoko's lips the whole time.

Gaara seemed to be in a better mood now as well. When she had come to drop off new flowers this morning, he was a little more tense than usual. It was no doubt from the two stacks of papers piled high on his desk and the few stick notes she saw that reminded him of meetings for the upcoming days. Like always, the sight of her did seem to soothe him, but even she couldn't distract him fromthe amount of work he had to do. Once she had set down his new bouquet- red camellias, today- and given him his tea, Gaara had really only mentioned the idea of going out for lunch before burying himself in his work again. Momoko was alright with that, glad that he still wanted to take a moment for her in the day.

In the midst of all the paperwork and files that had to be gone through on his desk, Gaara did find a moment to pluck the card from the blooms and read it over, just as he had every time. Each one became his new favorite, because each one was better than the last. This card was short and simple: _'You're wonderful, Gaara!'_ but that hadn't been his favorite part about it, and neither had the small heart she had scribbled in beside his name. What he liked most was her signature, written beautifully in her wispy script: _'Yours, Momoko.'_ Before, she had written just _'Momoko'_ and then it was _'Your friend, Momoko'_ but now, it was _Yours_. It was no more than a single word, just five letters, and yet Gaara had stared at it for longer than he should have. He had never considered Momoko to be _his_ , and yet the implication of it made his heart hammer in his chest. Gaara rather liked the idea of being _hers_ , too.

They decided on something light, something that wouldn't take too long to eat and because neither of them were especially hungry this afternoon. After a brief discussion, they settled for a container of onigiri to split between the two of them and a few bottles of water as well.

"Where do you want to eat?" Momoko asked after she had paid. Gaara had tried to offer, but she gave him a look that made him go quiet as soon as he opened his mouth.

He thought about it for a moment. They could go to a park of some sort, or keep walking through the village. Neither of those really appealed to him, so Gaara took a moment to look around before his eyes landed back on the Kazekage Tower.

"Follow me." 

She followed his lead, both hands wrapping around his arm since he offered to carry their small bag of food. It only took them a few steps back the way they came before she realized where they were going.

"Your office?" She asked with a small laugh, "You could have just said you changed your mind, you know." 

"I didn't," He replied, and Momoko tilted her head as she looked up to him.

"Where are we going, then?"

"You'll see."

He didn't say any more, but he had this little crinkle of his eyes that told her he had some other idea on his mind. Why he didn't outwardly say it, she wasn't sure, but she still trusted him all the same. So Momoko let him lead her back through the streets with little talk between them; she didn't mind that, of course. Even the silence between them was comfortable.

When they got back to the tower, Gaara came to a stop right before the doors. Momoko looked inside, and Hana waved to her from her desk behind the glass. She offered a wave in return, then looked up at her companion.

"Are we going in?" She asked, the confusion clear in her words.

"No."

Momoko furrowed her brow, "Then where are we going?"

"Up."

Startled, she looked up to see if there was something she was missing.

"Are you trying to make a joke, Gaara?" She asked, a bit of playfulness coming to her, "You're getting a little better at it, but you're not quite there yet."

Beside her, Gaara rolled his eyes but she still saw the small smile that tugged at his lips.

"Hold on."

Momoko turned her eyes back to him, the confusion clear on her face as he pulled her a little closer with his arm. Beneath them, the sand started to shift and she looked down at it just in time for it to pick up and swirl around them. Startled, she pressed herself just a little closer to Gaara and held his arm tighter. She squeezed her eyes shut, unsure of what he was doing, and kept them shut even when the sound of rustling sand had died down.

"It's over," He reassured her.

Instead of the glass doors, Momoko saw nothing but sky. She blinked a few times, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened but kept her grip on Gaara tight.

"Where are we?" She asked, looking up from where her face had been buried into Gaara's arm.

"Just the roof." He said, and Momoko looked around a little more to realize that the roof was exactly where they were. 

With a wide smile, Momoko let go of his arm and walked to the railing on the ledge. She looked down, right where they had been standing just a few moments ago and then up and out to the village. She could see everything from this high up, seeing as though it was the tallest building in Suna. Every main street leads to here, and the one right in front of her passed right through the marketplace.

"There's my shop!" She said with a laugh, and Gaara came to stand beside her.

"I know," He said, "I can see it from my office, too."

The idea of him standing by his windows and looking out to her made Momoko grin, her cheeks pleasantly pink from both the wind that rolled through and the words he spoke.

They took a seat on the ground in front of the railing, the thin bars still allowing them to look out onto the village. The container of onigiri was open in front of them so they could take what they wanted, and they sat and ate as they enjoyed the view.

"Do you come up here often?" Momoko asked after swallowing a bite of her rice.

"Sometimes," Gaara said, "When I need to think, or get out of the office." 

She gave a soft hum, "Does anyone else ever come up here?" 

"No," He shook his head after taking a drink of his water, "Just me- and you, now."

Momoko smiled, "We could come up here for lunch more often, if you want." 

"I would like that," He admitted.

She scooted a little closer to him, until her side was almost brushing his, and then stopped. 

"May I?" She asked, and though he wasn't entirely sure what she meant, Gaara nodded. 

Momoko closed the small space between them so that she was tucked comfortably into Gaara's side and let her head rest on his shoulder. Having her so close made his heart beat as loud as it always did, but Gaara didn't mind.

He liked that about Momoko: that she asked before touching him. When he wasn't the one initiating contact, Momoko always stopped right before touching him to ask if she could. Even in all of her excitement the other day, she still stopped and made sure he was alright before coming any closer. She knew this was all so new to him, that he wasn't exactly used to having someone so near and in his arms or around him, and he appreciated her patience when it came to affection.

That wasn't to say he didn't like touching her, because he certainly did. Any time she was near, Gaara was distracted by the idea of having his hand in her own or her lips on his. It was a very hard feeling to shake off, even long after she had left the room. Maybe it was so long of being without, or the strange feelings this new relationship brought, but Gaara found himself both craving her touch and too nervous to seek it out. He had never been this close to anyone before, and it would still take some getting used to both being touched by her and touching her. But even then, he didn't deny her a single time and neither did she.

"I've never done that teleportation thing before," She said as she watched the tiny dots of people go about their days.

"It's one of the first things the academy teaches us." Gaara replied, to which she gave a soft hum.

"I wouldn't know."

Gaara was silent for a moment, before asking, "Do you ever regret not being a ninja?"

Beside him, Momoko shook her head, "No, not even for a moment."

"Why not?"

"I don't think I have what it takes, honestly," She said, then spoke again when she finished the last of her onigiri, "I don't have the tactical skills or brute strength, and I especially don't have the guts to hurt anyone."

Gaara didn't say much else, content with her answer. When the last of the onigiri had been eaten and their waters were gone, she let out a satisfied little hum. Instead of standing right from her spot, Momoko stretched her arms up to the sky before letting herself fall back onto the roof so that she could look at the sky above them. Gaara looked away from the village to where she had just been, faltering for a moment at the way her dress seemed to ride up a little as she laid back.

"Come on, Gaara!" She said, "Lay back!"

He tore his eyes away from the sight of her thighs, his throat feeling a little too tight for a moment, and looked at her over his shoulder. She was laid back, offering him a wide smile as she gestured to him to do the same. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Cloud watching!" She said with a smile. Gaara glanced up, then to her again, before finally easing himself down to lay at her side.

It felt a little odd, to be laying on the hard surface of the roof, but she was so close that he didn't mind very much. She was smiling again, content and happy, and Gaara let himself feel at ease beside her. 

"That one kind of looks like a fish!" She said, pointing up to the sky. Gaara followed her finger, then tilted his head ever so slightly.

"Does it?"

"You have to squint a little." She said, "But it does!"

He looked for a moment longer, seeing maybe what could have been a fin, but then decided that he wasn't seeing what she did.

"Do you see anything?" Momoko questioned, and Gaara turned his eyes back to the rest of the sky.

He saw bits and pieces of things, but never full shapes or figures.

"I see a...ball." He said after a moment, and the answer made Momoko snort.

"A ball?" She snickered, "Where's your imagination, Gaara?"

He paused, then after a moment said, "A sports ball."

That brought a laugh from Momoko's lips, one he had never heard before and one that took him by surprise. He turned his head to look at her as she folded her hands over her stomach and laughed at his words. Gaara didn't intend to be funny, but something about it had obviously tickled her in some way. Still, it'd be a lie to admit he didn't like hearing or seeing her laugh. Her laugh was free and pure, like a child who had just discovered the best toy in the world. It was the first time he had heard her really laugh, not just snicker or chuckle, but actually laugh, and it made his chest tight to know he had been the one to cause it.

Eventually she died down to giggles, and she turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were bright and beautiful, and Gaara wished he was confident enough to kiss her right then.

"A sports ball!"She mused, "You're reeeally good at this!"

Gaara knew enough to know she was teasing him, but he didn't mind. He gently nudged her in the side and that broke her into a fit of more giggles, and he listened to it like it was the sweetest song in the world. Momoko moved a little closer to him, their arms pressed side by side. Gaara took the liberty of taking her hand in his own and he watched the way her face lit up in a beautiful smile.

"What else do you see?" He asked, and she was too happy to oblige.

Busy schedule and paperwork forgotten, Gaara let her point out every picture in the sky. This was more important than any meeting or file that wanted his attention today. The tenseness from their previous conversation had melted away, and they lay side by side without a care in the world. After a while, Momoko finally let her hand drop back to the ground beside her, now content with just watching the sky. 

"My dad and I used to do this all the time," She told him, "He'd always make up the weirdest things to try to get me to laugh.

Gaara fell silent for a moment, turning his eyes from where they had been fixed on her and up to the sky. The clouds were slow and fluffy, and he let himself gaze at them.

"Rasa never did anything like this." He spoke, a little lower than he had today. It made Momoko perk up a little and turn her head to look at him.

"Rasa?"

"My father." 

Momoko's eyes widened as she stared at him, but he kept his gaze up to the clouds. He had never willingly mentioned his parents before, had even discarded the question when she asked about them. She didn't really expect him to ever bring them up on his own free will, but if he was going to share with her, Momoko wouldn't deny him.

"What was he like?" She asked gently, trying not to overstep any boundaries.

His hand held hers just a little tighter, but Momoko didn't mind. She gave his hand a light, reassuring squeeze of her own and didn't push further when he lay in silence for a moment and kept his eyes up.

"He was cruel, and cold," Gaara stated, his voice sounding distant, "I never heard him speak kindly to anyone, not even my siblings- especially not to me."

Momoko frowned, the words sitting heavy on her heart. She had been blessed with a family that loved her, parents who adored her every step of the way. Even their worst was good; she couldn't imagine not being close to them. How had Gaara grown, then? Had his mother loved him, at least?

"Why was he like that?" She asked, still looking at him.

Gaara sighed softly, a motion that made Momoko worry that she had pushed too far. She gave his hand another soft squeeze and this time Gaara turned his head to look at her. She met his eyes, her brows furrowed with worry for the childhood he had lost. 

He hadn't ever laid it out for someone before, explained every detail of the years that still kept him awake most nights. The people of Sunagakure already knew what had happened in his life and had suffered because of it. Temari and Kankuro were also already well aware, that was a given. But he had never made a friend like this before, never been whatever he and Momoko were now. Of course she had probably heard bits and pieces of his life before now, but now Gaara would set the story straight for her, and he would do so in all honesty.

So he did. He told her about the mother who had never loved him, the father that despised him for not being the weapon he had created him to be. Gaara spoke about Yashamaru for the first time in so long, about the bitter hatred and resentment that had been disguised as love. He told her about each attempt against his life, and he watched the tears that filled her eyes as he spoke. She didn't stop him, though, encouraged him to go on and so he did. From the family that feared him and the children that avoided him, Gaara told her every sadness he had barred as a child.

And, as he knew was the right thing to do, he told her about what he had done in response. Gaara explained the rampages Shukaku would wreak over the village, the people he had killed with the very sand that had twirled itself through her hair. He explained how he used to think in his younger years: how killing was the only proof of his own existence. Gaara expected her tears to dry, for her face to turn cold and for her eyes to leave his. But she did none of those things. She stayed right there, holding his hand in her own and listening closely to every word he spoke.

He finished with Naruto and told her about what the other jinjuriki had done for him and how he had shown him the importance of loving and being loved. Gaara did not miss the look in her eyes, that brief moment of familiarity, of fondness, but he decided against addressing it now. Instead he wrapped up the last few ends of his story, and let silence fall between them when he was done.

Momoko let go of his hand and sat up, and Gaara did too. She sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes, and he could only sit silently and watch. He couldn't tell what she was feeling now, if the clarity of his life had brought hatred or regret. The part of him that still thought he didn't deserve anything good whispered that she would turn her back on him now that he had fully admitted to what he had done. Though he had tried to work on letting himself be happy, Gaara did fear it to be true. He wouldn't hold it against her if she decided to walk away from whatever they had; Momoko was a kind person, he could never expect her to care for someone like him.

She finally pulled her hands away from her face and took a deep breath, trying to collect herself as she spoke. Gaara watched her without a word, fear nestling itself deep in his heart the longer the silence dragged on. Eventually she did look at him, her eyes sorrowful and clouded in the same way they had been the last time he saw her cry. 

"I-I didn't- I mean, I..." She stopped herself, took another deep breath, then started again, "I knew things had been bad, I just didn't realize..." Momoko trailed off again, her eyes dropping his gaze and falling to her lap. 

Gaara pursed his lips, watching the way her eyes grew glassy again. He was sure he knew what was going through her mind: she couldn't keep this up, couldn't be his friend. Gaara understood. He wouldn't hate her for it, he never could.

"You don't have to stay, Momoko," He said, forcing himself to look away from her and back towards the village, "I understand."

Even though he really did understand, Gaara couldn't help the weight that had begun to tug at his heart. It would hurt to watch her walk away, he knew that for certain. Of course he had people he was friendly with and saw sometimes, but he had never really had someone like her before. Someone who came around every day, who looked forward to seeing him and went out of their way to do so. These past six months had been some of the best of his life by just having her at his side. From just a citizen, to an acquaintance, to a good friend, and now to...whatever this was. It would hurt, to not see her smile or hear her say his name, but if leaving was what she wanted, Gaara wouldn't hesitate to let her go.

"Hey," She said softly, and Gaara turned his head to meet her eyes again. They were still glassy, but now she wore a smile on her lips that he knew was to reassure him, "I told you before, didn't I? Right now is all that matters."

"What do you think, right now?"

Momoko stared at him for a moment, her eyes glancing away for just a second before she looked back at him again. She took his hand into her own (the first time she hadn't asked, but Gaara didn't care) and brought it up to her face so that she could press a soft kiss to his knuckles. 

"I think you deserve so much more than what you think you do. I think you've paid for what you've done in the past, and then some. I think you don't realize how wonderful you are and how much you mean to people. How much you mean to _me_." She whispered against his skin, "I'm not leaving your side, not unless you want me to."

"I don't," He said, his words nearly getting stuck in his throat as she turned his hand over and smiled against his palm.

"Then I won't."

Gaara hesitated just a moment before laying his hand on her cheek, and watched the way she seemed to melt into his touch. Her eyes slid closed, the last few tears falling from the corners of them. He wiped them away gently, memorizing the feeling of the soft skin of her cheek and the warmth of her under his fingers. She felt the same way she had when they first kissed: like one of her flowers.

She opened her eyes and looked at him the way he had always wanted to be looked at: like he was important, like he _mattered_.

"Can I kiss you, Gaara?"

He didn't bother to nod or to say yes, instead he dipped his head down and pressed his lips to hers the moment the words left her mouth. Gaara felt her smile against his lips, and he placed his other hand on her other cheek. It was just like the first time, but now he was holding her.

It was just like they remembered it, too, with the world going quiet and existence beyond them fading away. There was something different about this kiss, though, something that both of them noticed as soon as their lips touched. They weren't nervous or unsure, no pits in stomachs or fumbling hands. They weren't trying to know what it was for the first time, they were enjoying it as it was now.This kiss was confident, sure of itself and of them because they were more sure of each other now, too. Momoko would tell him how ever many times he needed to hear: she didn't hate him for what he had done in the past, and she wouldn't leave because of it.

They both knew right then that they would never again be satisfied with anything less than this. Never would they be able to sit across from each other without remembering how their lips felt pressed together, how perfectly their bodies fit as they held the other in their arms. Their days of lingering glances and nervous smiles were over. They could never go back to what they were, because this kiss was so much more than anything they had known before. This kiss promised all of the beautiful things in the world, every star in the sky, and every hope of the future. It felt like everything had been for this, like everything they had ever done was just to lead them to each other. This feeling was greater than anything Momoko had ever felt with anyone before, and it was a feeling Gaara knew he would never come across again in this lifetime.


	24. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter goes out to shu_ka_ku and Silvermind! They’ve consistently left their feedback on chapters and I’ve really enjoyed hearing from them!! Thank you guys so much!! 
> 
> This chapter is a little long but I think it’ll be worth it! :) 
> 
> Enjoy!!

"Sorry, I'm a little behind!" Momoko called down to him, her head having popped out from behind her front door, "You can come up, if you want!" 

Gaara watched her disappear behind the now open door, then his eyes dropped down to the steps in front of him. Though it had been nearly two months since they had started seeing each other in this new way, they had yet to come into each other's homes. Most of their time was spent going out or being in Gaara's office, so there had never really been a cause for it yet. He was a little taken back that she so casually invited him in, but he was probably thinking more into it than he should have. Gaara made his way up and into the home, shutting the door behind him.

It was exactly as he imagined any home of hers would look like. Her window sills were lined with plants, some well grown and others just budding. The living room was wide with walls painted a deep teal and well furnished, two fluffy looking sofas situated in the middle on either side of a coffee table that also had a flower on top of it. There was a colorful rug taking up most of the floor space of the living room, its colors tying in the furniture and various decorations that littered the walls. There were a couple simple things just for ambiance, but Gaara noticed quite a few pictures as well.

"I'm in here!" She called from somewhere on the other side of the dining room where the sliding paper door had been left open for him.

The dining room was just as colorful, with a pretty dark colored dining set and orange placemats. Had she not called for him, Gaara would have liked to stay and observe the front of the house for just a moment longer. It was all so very her, with beautiful colors and some kind of greenery in every corner. It crossed his mind that it smelled like her, too, in a sweet and comfortable kind of way. 

As he walked through the hallway, he slowed down a bit to look at the pictures that hung on the green walls. They were mostly from Konoha, of her and various shinobi that he vaguely recognized. Sakura was in many of them, either hugging to Momoko or in a group with her in some way. There was one or two of her when she was younger, holding a fluffy cat in her arms and grinning with a mouth full of braces.

There were many, also, of what he assumed were Kimiko and Toshi Akiyama. Her mother was a tall woman with a round face and kind brown eyes. Her pale blonde hair flowed in waved down to her hips; just as Momoko's did. Kimiko's smile was warm and kind, and she looked every bit the wonderful mother Momoko had praised her to be. Her father towered over the two of them, his pale eyes always wide with a childish wonder had never quite grown out of. His hair was the color of chestnuts and hung pin straight to his shoulders. Freckles decorated the bridge of his nose and his tanned cheeks, and his lips were pulled into the bright grin that she had obviously inherited. Each picture of the three of them looked so perfect it could have been staged. There was one of Momoko on her 10th birthday, her parents surrounding her, and another of the opening day of her parents' shop when she was just three. The largest picture on the wall was of the three of them, all dressed in their best traditional clothes for the festival that carried on in the background; Momoko looked the same here as she did now, so the picture couldn't have been too long ago. He took his time, stared for a little longer at braces and grins and a happy life, and made a goal for himself to end up on this wall soon. 

"I just need a couple minutes," She said when he finally reached the door of her bedroom. "My nap was a little longer than I planned!"

"It's alright," He reassured her, watching her put on earrings in the mirror hanging on her wall. Gaara let his eyes drift to the rest of her room, and this time he paid especially close attention to his surroundings. 

The bed was larger than she needed, covered with a colorful quilt with floral patterns and a few decorative pillows. Her walls had been painted a soft lavender and the fairy lights of her room provided a calming feeling to the space. There was a vanity desk and stool nestled under the window, it's surface littered with a few notebooks and a picture frame of what looked like a sleepover. The wooden floor was covered with a rug that was shaped like a white rose, and there were a few more pictures and decorations that littered her walls. There was a small but plush armchair tucked in one of the corners of the room with a little table beside it that had a few books piled on top. She had plants on her window sill here just like everywhere else and had even hung a few with long vines from the ceilings. This had been his favorite room so far, because it felt the most like her. 

"You can take a seat, if you want." She offered with a reassuring smile, and he turned his eyes back to her, "You don't have to stand in the doorway."

As much as he enjoyed seeing where she lived, Gaara was still uncomfortable with this new environment. It was a little more personal than his office and far more personal than the restaurants they frequented. He didn't want to overstep any boundaries by moving freely about her home, but he did take her offer once it was presented to him. Gaara took a seat in the little green armchair in the corner and watched as she finished putting on her earrings.

"You look beautiful." He said and watched the way her cheeks went just a little pink. She turned and offered him a wide smile, then came closer.

She always looked nice when they went out, tonight was no exception. Her dress was light and flowed down to her ankles, the fabric a pretty violet chiffon that billowed behind her when she walked. It was a simple dress, with a modest neckline and thin straps over her shoulders, but it was Momoko wearing it, so it was breath-taking. She had pulled her hair into a bun and the earrings she wore were simple silver hoops and were the only jewelry she wore. They weren't going anywhere especially fancy, but she never missed an opportunity to dress up just a bit.

"You're sweet," She giggled when she came to a stop in front of him and he took both of her hands into his to press a soft kiss to her knuckles, "Thank you."

He smiled ever so slightly against her skin and Momoko almost had half a mind to throw dinner right out the window and suggest they just spend the night in. As nice as that sounded, she was already dressed and nearly ready to go.

"I just need to find my lipstick and we can go," She said and reluctantly pulled her hands from his grasp.

Gaara watched her walk to the vanity, more aware of the sway of her hips these last few days than he ever had been before. Recently, he had noticed a few more things that he hadn't really before: the soft curves of her figure, the way her teeth bit at her plump lower lip sometimes, how long her legs were when she wore shorter dresses. She had mentioned the other day how their lunches were starting to show on her- Gaara didn't understand what she had meant at first, but once she stood to leave his office for the day, he did. Her once lean and slender figure had started to fill out a little, her hips and thighs a little fuller than they had been and her face just a bit rounder. The sun had brought freckles to her face and shoulders; he noticed her skin was a little darker now than it had been when she first moved, shifting from a fair ivory to a sandier color. She had told him that the first week she was here, she had completely overlooked sunscreen and had nearly burned herself to a crisp. Since then, she had made it a point to apply it all over nearly twice a day.

He thought she looked the most beautiful now than when he had first seen her. From her softer features to her freckled skin, and the little bit of confidence she had picked up along the way, Gaara was more taken with her now than ever. He hadn't ever looked at women like he had started to look at Momoko, and he was torn between being ashamed of it and accepting it as just another development in their relationship. It was natural for men to let their minds wonder a little bit when it came to their female company, and Gaara was no exception.

They had become a little more affectionate lately, too, and he was sure that was also contributing to whatever it was that had come over him. They walked arm in arm everywhere they went, and they would now kiss goodbye every time they had to part. It was nothing more than a soft brush of the lips for just a moment, but it was enough to send their hearts fluttering for the rest of the day. It was nice, to have become comfortable enough to show affection whenever they pleased. Sometimes she still asked, but only when it came to kisses and of course Gaara never denied her.

She opened the drawer of her vanity and shifted some things around, looking at a few of the tubes that were already in there but setting each one back inside. It must have not been in there, because she huffed and left the vanity to check the bathroom, not bothering to shut the drawer behind her.

Being left alone in her room piqued his curiosity once more, and Gaara rose from the armchair to look at the pictures this room had too. They were similar to the others in the hallway, showing lunches and makeovers and slumber parties. There was something about seeing these moments of her life that Gaara enjoyed, so he let himself look over the smiles that littered her walls. He let his gaze move to the window, where a few pretty colored pots held even prettier flowers, and he was content to return to the chair when something in the open drawer of the vanity caught his eye.

It was a picture frame, set upside down in the middle of the drawer. At first he thought nothing of it, but the more he looked at it, the more curious he became. She was obviously fond of her pictures- why was this one tucked away? Gaara had never taken himself as a nosy person- but then again, he had never taken himself as a romantic one, either. He listened for her in the bathroom, hearing her open a new drawer to rummage through, then took the picture from the drawer and turned it over.

It was her and Naruto Uzumaki. They were both in the middle of laughing, their eyes bright and their clothing soaked as they stood knee deep in water. They were wrapped in each other's arms,holding each other close as they enjoyed whatever moment had been captured here.

What Gaara felt when he looked at the picture was indescribable. Sometimes he would send Kankuro sharp looks when he made crude comments, but this was nothing like that. It felt like a bitter taste on his tongue and his chest suddenly going hollow. He wanted to snap the frame in his hands and ruin the picture forever so that he'd never see it again, so that _she_ would never see it again.

Being with Momoko had made him a little more aware of social cues, at least enough that he understood the significance of this photo. It made sense now, why she frowned at the mention of the jinchuriki's name and avoided any conversation that involved him, why it lay face down in the drawer. She hadn't hated him, it had been exactly the opposite. It was clear in the way they held each other and laughed without a care in the world.

In the bathroom, the drawer closed and by the time she was back in the bedroom, the photo had been put back in its place and he had returned to the chair in the corner. Momoko gave him a bright smile with newly colored lips, and he offered her his arm as they left the house and went to dinner.

Gaara was unsure of how to approach this new topic in the days following. The picture of the two of them lingered in the back of his mind constantly and he saw it nearly every time he closed his eyes. It had kept him awake the night he found it and every night since. He tried to lose himself in the papers on his desk and the comfort of familiar company, but nothing seemed to pull the thought completely from his mind.

He was at a loss. Gaara had never really taken into consideration the fact that she had done all of this before, had smiled at someone the way she smiled at him and had kissed them the same way, too. It would be foolish to think someone as bright and beautiful as Momoko would have been completely inexperienced in romance. He hadn't really thought much of it before, accepting that it could have been a part of her past and that if she could get over his, he would get over hers. 

But that was before he knew it was Naruto that had been that past flame. He could handle a random stranger, hell, he could handle _anyone else_ , but of all the people in Konoha, she had to have loved the one person Gaara cared so deeply for. It felt like he was wronging his friend in some way, to want the girl that he had obviously had before. He dreaded the idea of Naruto resenting him for this, of him revoking every kindness and every moment of friendship over a love that he may or may not even be over.

Of course Momoko was important to him, but Naruto was too in an entirely different way. He owed everything he was to the blonde shinobi. Every great thing he had accomplished or good deed he had done had been carried out with Naruto in mind. He wanted Naruto to be proud of him, to understand how deeply Gaara valued him and his friendship. Everything about Gaara had been directly influenced by him, and he owed his very life to the man. Would this be seen as a betrayal of some kind, to care for the very same girl Naruto once had?

The idea of losing either of them made the Kazekage nearly sick to his stomach. On one hand was loyalty to the man who had saved his life, and on the other was the woman who had begun to make it really worth living. Losing either would be a huge blow to his heart and possibly even sanity, and Gaara was unsure of how to navigate this situation. He knew he had to talk to Momoko about it; the last few days had been torment by letting the negative thoughts and worries consume him, he couldn't live like this very much longer. 

Gaara found his chance a few days later while in her shop, tending to the flowers and helping her as he usually did on his days off. The shop was slow today, leaving them alone together for the better part of the day. Momoko seemed to be in a good mood, swaying her hips a little to the soft music that came from the radio in the corner as she watered a few flowers near the window. He didn't want to ruin her happiness, but he knew that this feeling would consume him entirely if he didn't speak soon. He knew he couldn't just jump right into it, so instead he started the conversation that he had walked through nearly a thousand times in his head already.

"When are you expected in Konoha?" He asked from his spot across the shop where he laid a bit of new soil on a few flowers.

She seemed to pause and think for a moment, before saying, "In a little more than a week, I think. Sakura is super excited about it," She said with a chuckle.

"You must be, too," He said, "To see your friends."

"I am," Momoko said with a smile so big he saw it from where he stood, "I'll have more time to actually visit with them, this time!"

"That'll be nice," Gaara replied, his words as cool as ever, "You'll have to give Naruto my regards once again."

He watched her pause, pulling up the watering can so as to not drown the flowers, and stand there for just a moment in silence. That familiar taste sat on his tongue once again before he saw her sigh softly and set the can aside.

"I...don't think I'll be seeing Naruto, this time." She said quietly, and Gaara set his tools aside as well.

He didn't want to push her too far or say anything that indicated what he knew, but he needed to hear whatever it was she had to say. He wasn't bitter that she had never told him before, but now that he knew, he needed to reassure her that whatever she and Naruto had been was no more.

It felt so strange, needing this type of reassurance from her. It was one thing for her to forgive him for his past and be willing to move on from it, but it was another to reassure him of the present. He had never once doubted her loyalty to him or what they had, but both the picture and the fact that she hadn't mentioned it before brought a sinking feeling he had yet to experience with her. Momoko wasn't the unfaithful type- would it even be considered cheating? They Had yet to put a label on their relationship, was that another conversation they needed to have?

"Why not?" He asked, willing his tone to stay firm and neutral as he spoke.

Momoko's hand hadn't left the handle of the watering can despite having set it down, and she grabbed it so tightly the skin on her knuckles nearly turned white.

How could she explain it to him? How could she find the words to tell him what she knew he had every right to hear? It was only fair that he knew of her past with Naruto, given what they were and what the blonde shinobi meant to him. She had every intention of telling him eventually, but now that the moment was here, she couldn't seem to find the words just yet. Momoko stood in her spot for just a little longer, silent as she tried to put together whatever two thoughts she could. 

"Gaara..." She sighed, barely finding the breath or the courage to back her words. "Naruto and I were...together, when I lived in Konoha." 

It was an answer he already knew, but it was still hard to hear. There had been a chance that he had been wrong, that the picture was just a picture and nothing more, but he knew now that it wasn't so.

Where did he go from here? There was no reason to be mad at her, she hadn't done anything wrong by having a life before him. If he had been romantically involved before her (that thought alone was laughable) then he knew she wouldn't be mad, either. It felt irrational to be upset, but Gaara couldn't help it. He had told her how important Naruto had been to him- it crossed his mind that Naruto had likely mentioned him as well- and yet she still hadn't told him the truth of their relationship. If they had just been friends that ended off on bad terms, Gaara could understand that. But that wasn't true- they had been something more, something similar to what he and Momoko were now. He wanted to be patient with her and let her speak when she was ready, but the brewing feelings of betrayal pushed him to press further for his own peace of mind.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked quietly, setting the tools in his hand down on the table. He made an effort to stay as calm and collected as ever, but he feared he may have sounded more like a wounded animal.

The tone of his words made Momoko's heart ache in a way she hadn't felt around Gaara before. She knew that it was wrong of her to keep this from him, especially now that they were romantically involved, but even with all the personal growth she had gone through she still couldn't find the strength to get the words out. With a dull throb in her heart, she pulled off her gloves and set them aside.

"Can we talk somewhere else?" She offered, trying not to let her nervousness show so easily in her words when his eyes turned to her. He watched her silently for a moment, a look in his eyes that she was unhappily unfamiliar with, before giving her a nod.

They put their aprons and gloves in the back room, and Momoko locked up the cash register and cabinets before they left the shop. She locked the door behind her and gestured to him to follow her up the stairs on the side that lead to her home. It felt different being here now than it had before; there was no wonder or curiosity, just a heavy silence as they moved about the house. Gaara took a seat on one of the plush couches in the living room, and Momoko disappeared into the kitchen with the promise of tea.

Once alone, she leaned against the counter and pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to find both her strength and her nerve.

She knew she had done nothing wrong by having a life before Gaara, and she knew he knew that too, but she was aware that she was wrong for having not told him. Had they stayed as just friends and nothing more, maybe she could have gotten away with keeping the information to herself a little longer and without as much consequence. But they didn't stay as just friends, no matter how much they could have tried it became more painfully obvious each moment she spent with him that she would have inevitably felt for him what she felt now. It had been by the grace of some divine god that he returned those feelings.

This new relationship brought new obligations as well, such as information they were now entitled to and secrets that had otherwise remained unspoken. That was the point of love, wasn't it? To know everything about a person and still stay by their side? Of course this wasn't love just yet, but it was in the makings of it. They had become more comfortable with each other in this way, which is why it was only fair that she talked about Naruto with him now- she owed him that.

Momoko was guilty to admit that she had been in the wrong for not telling him about Naruto the moment they decided to begin seeing each other. If it had been anyone else in the world, she wouldn't have felt so obligated to do so. But it was the one person, besides his family, who Gaara valued above all else. She had listened to him talk about the blonde jinchuriki with a tenderness to his words and a gentle look in his eye- and still kept this part of her life from him. It was selfish to sit and listen to Gaara talk about someone who was so important to him while still keeping this a secret. She had been afraid of the backlash, so much so that she had intentionally kept this from him when she knew that he had every right to know.

Once the tea had been seeped and poured into colorful cups, Momoko collected herself as best she could before making her way back into the living room. Gaara was still on the couch, now resting his arm on the armrest with his chin propped on his hand. He didn't look at her when she came in and it put a pit in her stomach as she set the cups onto the coffee table. She took a seat beside him, sure to leave space between them, and rested her hands in her lap. Her heart was beating a million times a moment- though she knew it was probably an over reaction, she couldn't help the unease that bubbled up inside of her.

It was irrational to think that he would turn her away because of this; Gaara was a level-headed man who had his senses about him, but she still couldn't help but worry. This was new to Gaara, being in a relationship of sorts and being this close to someone. She didn't want to give him the impression that this is what it meant to care about someone: having important things withheld from him for the sake of sparring feelings. Being with someone wasn't supposed to be able tip-toeing and holding your tongue. It was supposed to be honest and open, and Momoko was sensible enough to admit that she had been wrong. So she collected herself as best she could and tried to offer the words she knew Gaara deserved to hear.

"I had a really big crush on him when we were kids, back when he was in the academy and I helped my parents with their shop. He didn't even notice me back then, I don't think, because he was so caught up in Sakura and becoming this big strong shinobi. Nothing really started to happen until before the...the Chunin exams."

She saw Gaara sigh and close his eyes. She couldn't quite see the look on his face, but she paused long enough for him to interject if he wanted. When no words came, Momoko went on.

"He started to return my feelings around that time, but there was a lot on his plate with Sasuke wanting to leave and needing to find a new Hokage. I still liked him, so I was content with just sitting back and waiting until he came around. Looking back on it now...it was almost sad, that I was so happy with so little." Momoko fiddled with the hem of her dress, "I thought that maybe there would be more time for us after Sasuke finally left, but I should have known he wouldn't sit still for very long. He said things would change for us when he came back, that we'd finally have some time for each other. And I believed him because I was young and...and in love."

He stiffened beside her, and Momoko was sure that he would stand and leave. 

Truthfully, he wanted to. The selfish part of him that wanted to be the only one to ever have her like this wanted to get up, thank her for the time they had, and leave. Had he been any less the person he was today, maybe he would have done just that. The idea of her being with someone else was bearable enough, but to be _in love._ She had _loved_ Naruto, and it sounded like Naruto had _loved_ her. What he and Momoko had right now wasn't love, and the idea of being in love with her made him anxious and nervous in ways he had never been before.

When no reply came, Momoko went on.

"When he left to train for those three years with Jiraiya, it felt like he had taken a piece of me with him. Every day was harder than the last, because I had spent my whole life being so sure of his presence and so dependent on him for my happiness that I didn't know how to be without him. I felt so helpless for years, like some love-struck puppy waiting at the window for her owner to come home. And then he finally did come home but...but it wasn't what I thought it would be. Of course I was glad he was home and I was so happy to see him again, but it made me realize that it was just borrowed time. That he would always have some great mission that needed him, but _I_ needed him, too. After my parents got sick I realized that once I lost them, Naruto would be the only person I had left in the world, but even he wasn't certain."

When had she started to cry? Gaara had turned his head to see the tears running down her cheeks, but she didn't seem to notice it.

"I loved him, but in loving him, I lost so much of myself. I didn't want to live a life just waiting and hoping that he would come back to me. I was so dependent on him and so obsessed with being with him that I lost sight of myself along the way. I didn't feel like me, I felt like an extension of Naruto. After my parents died I realized that being with him meant being without myself, and I couldn't spend my life like that. I couldn't spend my life just waiting until he was ready to be with me. So...I left. And here I am."

Gaara was silent, his head finally turned to her but his hands to himself. He wanted to wipe the tears from her cheeks and comfort her in any way he could, but he found himself unable to do so right then. He was still processing her words, still trying to wrap around the years of her life that had gone into loving his friend. Gaara disliked her sadness and wished it wasn't so, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so just yet.

It had been more than he was expecting. He had assumed it was just something they had shared for a while and then fizzled out, or maybe something just a little more, but not like this. He hadn't thought she had spent the entirety of her life in love with him. No matter how much Gaara cared for Momoko and tried to show it, he realized with a dread in his heart that he would never compare. Naruto had years of her life and Gaara only had months. Naruto was warm and sunny, loud and cheerful, kind beyond all reason and one of the strongest people he knew. He was so much like her, in so many ways. They must have been a sight to behold together, with their selflessness and beautiful smiles. Momoko and Naruto were two halves of the same whole, he thought miserably, it only made sense that they should love so strongly for so long. 

Gaara could only hope for a fraction of what they had. He wanted to love her and love her fiercely, but he was still so unsure of himself that he wasn't quite ready for the commitment such a confession would bring. Of course he liked her now and felt something more than just platonic companionship for her, but he wasn't even sure if he was fully capable of falling in love with someone. He loved his siblings because blood was unconditional and they had been there every step of his life, but being _in_ love was an entirely different thing. Could he fall in love with her? And could he mean just as much as Naruto once had?

"Do you still love him?" He found himself asking, his words barely above a whisper.

Momoko wiped the tears from her eyes, unable to bring herself to look at him just yet. She shook her head, blonde waves tossing about with the motion.

"No, I don't." She admitted with a watery tone, "He'll always be important to me, but what I had with him wasn't healthy. I had to put so much of myself into being with him that I completely lost sight of who I was. It felt like I constantly had to choose between what I wanted and Naruto, and I always chose Naruto. I'm grateful for the happiness he brought to me, but I can't lose myself to be with him- I _won't_."

He watched the way she wiped her cheeks dry, tried to find her posture and hold her head up a little higher than she did before. Even in her sadness, Gaara could see the newly gained sense of self worth in her eyes. He was proud of her, truthfully, but there was still so much left to say.

"Do you feel like that now?" Gaara questioned, "Like you're losing yourself?"

She knew what he was asking: did Gaara make her feel that way too? The thought of it brought a watery laugh from her lips, and she shook her head as her eyes filled once again.

"No, I don't. Being with you isn't hard. I don't worry that you're going to leave me at any moment, I don't feel like I can't breathe if you're not there or like I have to change myself to be happy." She answered, then finally met his eyes.

Momoko turned her body to face him and reached out, taking both of his hands from his lap to hold them tenderly in her own.

"You make me so incredibly happy, Gaara. I thought after losing my parents and letting go of Naruto, I would never be happy again. But being here in Suna, with _you_ , has been the greatest time of my life. I have never felt so completely myself than when I'm at your side." 

He watched with wide eyes as she brought his hands to her lips and kissed his knuckles just as she had before, just as he had nights ago. She held his hands just tight enough that Gaara could feel how her's trembled. A tear landed on the back of his hand before she lifted her hand to look at him, her pale eyes glassy and her lips pulled down. He had seen her cry before, more times than he cared for, but this was different. It wasn't out of pity or mourning, it was a genuine sadness and guilt. She wasn't crying for things that had long since past or things she couldn't change she was crying for something she had done now.

As upset as he had been these last few days, it wasn't worth seeing her like this now. She had told him everything, just as he wanted, but it didn't bring the gratification he thought it would. She had loved Naruto so much, and it must have hurt beyond words to have to let him go. Gaara couldn't imagine loving someone your whole life only to realize that they weren't good for you after all. He felt guilty for having to pull these memories out of her, no matter how much he knew it was wrong for not telling him. Gaara was torn between forgiving her to relieve her sadness and forgiving her because he truly did.

"Why is it so hard to be upset with you?" He asked softly, dropping his gaze from her eyes to their hands.

Momoko tilted her head a little, watching the way his brows furrowed as he stared downwards.

"What do you mean?"

"I..." Gaara paused for a moment and pursed his lips. He had never been very good at talking through how he felt but for her, he would try. "I don't like that you kept this from me and I know it was wrong of you, but it feels wrong to think poorly of you, even if it is so slight."

Momoko frowned and gave his hands a soft squeeze.

"You're allowed to be upset with me, Gaara." She reassured him, "You shouldn't put me on a pedestal. I'm a human being, I'm going to make mistakes, and it's only natural that sometimes you'll be cross with me. I'm sure I'll eventually be upset with you too, for some reason or another. But don't feel like you're not allowed to be bothered by things I do." 

He had put her on a pedestal, hadn't he? It was so easy to do and it came so naturally. Momoko was kind and gentle, so happy and so warm. From the moment he met her, Gaara had been so taken with her beauty and her good nature that he had completely overlooked the fact that she was still capable of doing wrong. No, she didn't carry the same sins that Gaara did, but that didn't mean she was completely without sin at all. All this time he had seen her as some pure, wonderful being who was incapable of doing wrong. But with the events of the last few days and her words now, Gaara realized that Momoko was just as prone to mistakes as anyone else.

The last two months had gone by in a flurry of new experiences and exciting revelations. The beginning was always the easiest part, it was staying that was hard. Maybe it was a little foolish to think that they would always be stuck in that phase of admiration where the other person could do no wrong in their eyes. Taking her arm when they walked and kissing her goodbye was easy, but realizing her flaws and accepting them was a little harder.

Trying to love someone _was_ hard, he realized. It meant opening yourself to someone so entirely that they knew you as well as you did. It meant knowing every flaw and every shortcoming and still deciding that this person was the one. Love wasn't at first sight or suddenly; it was gradual, overtime. There was a large difference between being attracted to someone and genuinely loving them. Of course he was attracted to Momoko, to the joy she brought to his days and the tender look in her eyes when he smiled, but to love her would be something else entirely. To love her wouldn't be as easy as accepting flowers in the mornings and sharing lunches in the afternoons- it would be knowing things that didn't sit well with him, having opinions that he disagreed with.

Momoko shifted beside him, and the movement pulled Gaara from his thoughts. He looked up at her, to the way she stared right back with now dry eyes, and watched as she spoke again with all sincerity in her words.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, Gaara." She spoke, "You had every right to know but I was too afraid of hurting you that I didn't want to tell you at all. It was wrong of me to hold this from you, and I hope you can forgive me."

It was Gaara's turn to give her hands a light squeeze, and the smallest of smiles crossed her lips.

"Thank you for telling me all of this." He said, "And for apologizing, as well. I forgive you."

She let out a soft breath and the smile on her lips widened just slightly. He offered her a small one of his own, and Momoko seemed to finally feel at ease for the first time since they sat down. Gaara let go of one of her hands to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen into her face back behind her ear, and he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. When he pulled back, he saw her cheeks had turned a little pink and her eyes were just a bit wider than they had been before. He laid his hand on her cheek and savored the sight of her closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. Gaara stared at her, at the light speckling of freckles across her sun-kissed cheeks and the way that she smiled so sweetly at his touch, and realized right then that he would never again feel for anyone what he felt for her.

Falling in love was hard; it took work and it took time.

That was all he really needed now: just a little more time.


	25. Dinner With the Sand Siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one goes out to WritingOddly! Thanks for your feedback these last couple chapters! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!!

When Momoko walked in his office for lunch that afternoon, she didn't expect to see Temari already there. Usually people left Gaara alone at this time of day, both because it was lunch and because they had become rather aware of the fact that he always had a guest. Being his sibling did make her the exception to the rule, giving both of them access to come and go whenever they wanted, Momoko just wasn't used to seeing them there the same time she was.

Temari turned to her when the door opened and offered her a smile, which Momoko was quick to return. She closed the door and made her way to set their lunch down on the desk, then took a seat beside Temari where she sat across from it.

"Hey, Momoko. Long time no see," The sibling said as Momoko smoothed out her skirts.

"It's been a busy couple of weeks!" Momoko replied with a smile and noticed the slyness that came to the woman's smile.

"Oh, I'm sure." She shifted her eyes to Gaara, the teasing tone of her words making him roll his eyes and Momoko blush just a bit.

"There's something we need to talk about." Gaara said, turning her eyes away from his sister to Momoko, "It's about your trip to Konoha."

Her smile dropped slightly, and she looked between him and Temari.

"Is everything alright?" 

"Sort of," Temari said, sitting up just a little straighter in her chair, "There's been a slight change of plans."

"Change of plans?" Momoko repeated, a small frown on her lips, "I can't leave any later or I won't make it back in time for the wedding."

"Don't worry, you'll still leave the day after tomorrow." The woman reassured her, "But I've been asked to help at the academy for the upcoming exams, so I won't be able to go with you this time."

Momoko felt her mood drop just a little. She and Temari weren't especially close (She may have been closer to Kankuro at this point, she internally groaned) but she had been looking forward to traveling with the other girl again. Temari, as stern as she could be, was good company and she had been excited about the chance to get closer to her.

That did leave the question of what she was going to do now. Momoko was not skilled enough to protect herself should anything happen, and she certainly wasn't sure if she could make the three day trip on her own. The idea of going with a random Suna ninja wasn't entirely horrible, but she would have preferred someone she knew. It wouldn't be as fun, but she knew that it was necessary and so she wouldn't complain.

"I guess someone will be assigned to take me, then?" She asked, trying not to make the disappointment she felt so clear in her words. 

She didn't miss the way Temari smiled again, that slyness from before returning, and the look stumped Momoko for just a moment before Gaara spoke again. 

"I'll be going with you."

Momoko nearly jumped at the words. She snapped her head to Gaara, who had his hands folded neatly on his desk and his eyes set on her. He didn't seem very phased by his own words, but she certainly was.

"You?" She repeated, clearly puzzled, "Don't you have to stay here?"

"I'm allowed to leave the village as I see fit." He reassured her, "There are things in Konoha I could see to while I'm there. The council has agreed to take over for the weeks I'm absent."

"Are you sure?" Momoko pressed, "I don't want to inconvenience you. Really, I'd be okay with just a regular escort."

"I wouldn't." Gaara replied, his words steady, "I trust my shinobi, but I won't put your safety in the hands of anyone by my siblings and myself."

"This works out well for everyone." Temari backed him up, "Gaara gets a few days off and you get to get your flowers."

Momoko pursed her lips a bit, her eyes flickering from Temari to Gaara a few times. If Gaara could afford to take the time then there was no real issue, but Momoko still couldn't help but feel...nervous? This would be the first time she and Gaara would travel together, just the two of them. The thought of setting up camp for the night with just him and that they would likely stay at the same inn as well- Momoko felt a little light headed just thinking of it.

But...she wouldn't deny the fact that she was just a little excited. It would be nice to spend some quality time with him (not that there was a shortage of that) and be able to show him where she grew up. Of course he had been to Konoha before, but the idea of walking him through her childhood and showing him all of the things he may have missed when he was first there made her feel giddy. Not to mention that she would get a chance to finally tell her friends about them; Sakura was going to be so thrilled! The more she thought about this plan, the more excited she felt. Maybe this was a good idea, afterall. 

"Then I guess there's no arguing with it," She said, unable to stop the grin that spread on her lips, "It'll be fun going away with you for a while! Like our own little vacation!"

The smile that came to Gaara's lips made Temari smile as well, and she turned back to the other girl with a new spark in her eye. 

"Since we're going to be losing the both of you for a while, I think it's a good time to have that meal we talked about." Temari mentioned, the smile on her lips widening as she did, "Why don't you come over tonight and we'll have dinner? All four of us?"

Momoko sat up a little straighter, the excitement clear on her face.

"Absolutely!" She exclaimed, "That sounds like a great idea!" 

"Good!" Temari stood from her chair and gave Momoko's shoulder a little squeeze, "You bring dessert and we'll take care of the rest."

"I can do that!" Momoko grinned.

"Then I'll see you two tonight," Temari said and Gaara nodded to her as she made her way to the door, "Enjoy your lunch!"

Lunch came and went, with Momoko talking excitedly about spending time with the four of them and Gaara listening with a small smile. He was glad she liked his siblings and especially glad that she had come around to Kankuro. He wasn't sure what had changed her mind about him, but she spoke of him just as fondly as she spoke of Temari, and for that Gaara was thankful. By the time lunch ended and Momoko kissed him sweetly goodbye, the Kazekage rather looked forward to having dinner with the three people he cared for the most.

When dinner time came around, Momoko left her home with a tray of chocolate-filled taiyaki in hand. She had changed into something a little cuter for the evening while still keeping it simple. The dress she wore had an a-line style and was a pastel blue with lavender flowers embroidered at the sweetheart neckline and hem. It was a casual and comfortable dress, one that made Momoko feel pretty every time she wore it. She had decided to leave her hair down, too, falling to her waist in blonde waves. Gaara had once told her that he liked her hair best when it was down, and she wasn't ashamed to admit that she had been wearing it that way more often since.

She followed the directions that Gaara had given her until she came to the door of their home. It wasn't too far from his office; Temari had told her on their trip to Konoha that the Kazekage was intended to live in the Kazekage Tower, but they had all agreed that living in the home they grew up in wasn't as comfortable as it should have been. So the three siblings found their own place just down the street, not quite a mansion but definitely the largest house in Suna's center, and called it home. That was where Momoko stood now, tray in hand and knocking at their front door.

She didn't recognize the man that opened the door. He was handsome, with a wider nose and spiked chestnut hair. The sight of her made him grin, but Momoko just shifted awkwardly on her feet. 

"I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong-Oh!"

She was cut off but him wrapping her up in his arms and lifting her from the ground. Momoko was just barely able to lift the tray out of the way so that it wouldn't be crushed by the embrace. 

"Took you long enough to get here!" He exclaimed, his voice all too familiar, "It's about time you came over and hung out with us!" 

With wide eyes, Momoko looked down at him, at the silly grin and dark eyes, and it clicked instantly. 

"Kankuro!?" She laughed, all traces of discomfort from before now completely gone.

"Who else would it be?" He said as he set her down, the grin never leaving his face, "Why do you look so surprised?"

"I've never seen you without your paint before!" Momoko said as he shut the door behind her. He took the tray from her hands, giving her the chance to pinch one of his cheeks, "Who'd have thought you were so handsome underneath that purple junk and pointy hood?"

"Easy there, Peaches." He laughed, color coming to his cheeks as he batted her hand away, "One sibling at a time!"

"Peaches?" She snickered, following him as he guided her further into the large home, "Where did that come from?"

"Well, I was gonna call you just Momo, but then I figured since it literally meant peaches, why not just call you that instead?"

"I told him not to!" Temari called from the kitchen once they reached the dining room, her head poking out from the archway, "Gaara doesn't like it, either."

At the mention of the redhead, Momoko perked up a bit and moved into the kitchen where the other two siblings were. Temari was stirring a pot of udon noodles on the stove and Gaara was at the counter next to her cutting scallions. The sight of him made her smile, and Momoko went to his other side to lean against the counter next to him. He glanced up from the cutting board to her, looking over her loose hair and pretty dress, and Momoko stood on her toes to press a light kiss to his cheek. It brought a small smile to his lips before he turned his eyes back to the cutting board and began to chop again.

From where he leaned in the doorway, Kankuro pretended to gag and it made Momoko laugh. She turned her attention to Temari, who smiled at her when she moved around Gaara to come to the girl's side.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Momoko asked, but Temari just shook her head.

"You're the guest, you don't have to help." She reassured her, "We've got everything taken care of."

"There has to be something I can do," She pressed, wanting to feel useful in some way, "It's the least I could do since you guys made dinner."

"You can help me set the table!" Kankuro offered from the doorway.

" _You_ were supposed to set it before she got here." Temari groaned, but Kankuro wasn't phased. Instead the other sibling moved into the kitchen to collect the dishes from the cabinet and offer some to their guest.

"You don't have to help him with that," Temari tried to say again as Momoko took the stack of bowls. The girl just offered her a smile and shook her head.

"I really don't mind!" She said, "I want to help!"

"Finally, someone willing to do some work around here!" Kankuro huffed, a wide grin on his lips as he egged his sister on. Temari instantly turned to him, wooden spoon already raised and ready to strike, but Kankuro dipped out of the kitchen with a laugh before she could get to him.

"You're lucky we have company!" She yelled to him, "Or I'd kick your ass right now!"

All she got in return was a laugh from the dining room, and Momoko couldn't help the little snicker that slipped past her lips. She instantly went quiet when Temari turned a sharp eye to her, but left the room with a grin. In the dining room Kankuro had already set the place mats on the table, two on each side. Momoko set the stack down on the table and began to set a bowl in each place and Kankuro started setting out the chopsticks.

"Don't let her fool you," Kankuro mused, "She loves me!"

"I don't know," Momoko giggled in return, "She seemed pretty ready to kill you."

"Nah, she wouldn't have in front of a guest." He replied, "But I'm sure once you start coming around more often, she'll stop holding back."

"I don't know...Seems like a really hostile household," Momoko joked, drawing a snicker from Kankuro, "I don't know if my little heart can handle all this negativity."

"Well your _little heart_ better get used to it," He laughed, "You're obviously not going anywhere any time soon."

The implication of his words made her blush, but it brought a smile to her lips all the same. Kankuro's own smile faltered for just a moment, but it was easily put back into place when she looked up at him again.

"What are they making, anyway?" She asked once the last bowl had been set into place.

"Pork Belly Udon," He said, setting the last pair of chopsticks down, "It's what they make best, I'd say."

"I didn't realize Gaara cooked," Momoko replied, looking back to the kitchen and catching a flash of red for just a moment.

"He doesn't really cook, per say, but he likes helping out Temari when he can." Kankuro handed her a few napkins to place on her side of the table.

"Unlike Kankuro." Temari said as she entered the dining room with a large pot in hand, "He can't do anything in the kitchen to save his life."

"Just gotta marry someone who can cook," Kankuro shrugged, then looked to Momoko with a grin, "You can cook, right, Peaches?"

"Kankuro," Gaara warned as he entered as well with a tray of the garnishes, his eyes already turned to his brother. Kankuro just laughed and held his hands up in surrender, and Momoko offered Gaara a bright smile when he came into the room.

Temari went around the table portioning out noodles and broth, and Gaara was right behind her to add the pork, vegetables, and egg to each bowl. Once the food had been served and the cups had been filled with tea, it was finally time for them all to sit down and start eating. Momoko took her place at Gaara's side and the other two siblings sat across from them. After a quick thanks, dinner started.

"Did you tell everyone you were coming back?" Temari asked from across the table as Momoko took a bite of her food. She waited until it was well chewed and swallowed before replying.

"I did! I asked Ino to tell everyone when I wrote to her about the flowers."

"How does that work, anyway?" Kankuro asked through his food, and Temari elbowed him in the side for his crudeness.

"How does what work?" Momoko questioned, and this time Kankuro swallowed what was in his mouth before speaking.

"Getting flowers from Konoha." He elaborated, "Does she just grow them and give them to you for free or what?"

"Oh goodness no," Momoko laughed, "That's way too much inventory to just be giving it away for free.Usually she just grows extra of what sells best there and I get that. With the wedding, though, I had to send her a list of the flowers I needed and payment up front. They should all be just starting to bloom by the time we get there."

"What flowers do they want?" Gaara asked beside her, and she gave him a smile.

"Red roses and white lilies. It's a little cliche, but I think they were too excited about having flowers to really care." 

"What would you have recommended?" Temari asked. She didn't know her flowers very well, but she was still interested in the conversation nonetheless. Momoko thought for a moment, taking a drink of her tea, before finally replying.

"White roses and white calla lilies, for them." She said, "It's simple, but it looks very elegant when put together."

"All white?" Temari questioned, "No color?"

"I've always liked the look of an all white wedding," Momoko said with a sheepish little smile, "The flowers, the isle, everything."

"I'd want some color," Temari said, a little bit of dreaminess to her words, "Maybe some blues or purples." 

"Like you're ever getting married." Kankuro snorted beside her, but was quickly cut off by a yelp when she kicked him under the table.

"Because women are just throwing themselves at you?!" She barked, and Kankuro grinned.

"Doesn't matter _when_ I get married, I just know it's definitely going to be before you!" He turned his eyes back to Gaara, his grin going just a little wider, "Though I think Gaara's gonna beat both of us!" 

Heat rose to Momoko's cheeks and she nearly choked on the food in her mouth. Gaara reached over to pat her back, sending a sharp look to Kankuro as he did so. The older sibling just snickered in return, and Momoko calmed herself with her cheeks still hot.

To her relief, they didn't revisit the topic. It shifted comfortably back to the trip to Konoha, and they continued to swap conversations about the upcoming trip.

"I'm sure you're excited to go," Temari said to Gaara after taking a drink of her tea, "How long has it been since you last saw Naruto?"

Momoko seemed to stiffen just a little, and Kankuro's eyes jumped from her to his brother. As always, Gaara was cool and collected and showed little as he finished a bite of his food before speaking. 

"Too long," He replied, giving no implication of emotion, "I'll be glad to see him again."

Momoko watched his face for a moment, trying to find any trace of expression that told her what he was feeling. But there was nothing but the clean, blank slate he always wore. She supposed that was better than what it could have been. Her eyes flickered over to see Kankuro staring at her, and when their gazes met he offered her a small smile.

"I bet you're upset you won't be seeing that Nara kid again," Kankuro said, obviously trying to shift the conversation, and for that Momoko was grateful.

Beside him, Temari's cheeks colored just slightly and Momoko perked up at the mention of it.

"Shikamaru?" She spoke up, "You like Shikamaru?"

"Absolutely not!" Temari quickly countered, taking a bite of her food to try and ignore the heat in her cheeks.

"Absolutely _yes_!" Kankuro laughed, "He drives her nuts and she _loves_ it!"

"I would have never thought." Momoko mused, "He's so, well...unlike you."

"Opposites attract- am I right, sis?"

Temari groaned and kicked him again from under the table, this time hard enough for him to grab hold of his shin with a whine.

As the dinner carried on and soon morphed into dessert, Momoko couldn't help but sit back and admire the family before her. She had grown up an only child with no siblings or extended family of her own. Her childhood had been filled with her laughter, and her laughter alone. Momoko adored her childhood, but even she couldn't deny the happiness a big family brought. It was obvious from the way the three siblings talked to each other, poking fun and laughing alongside each other. Even Gaara, in all his quiet seriousness, smiled a little more than usual around them. There was nothing quite like a bond between siblings, and Momoko couldn't help but envyit.

She was determined for her own house to be like this when it came time for her to have children. She wanted laughter and little feet at all hours of the day. Of course sometimes they would fight, but for the most part they would have fun and love each other almost as much as she would love them. Her children really would be a sight to behold, with their kind smiles and fire red hair- 

The thought took her by surprise so suddenly that she fell quiet for a moment. She glanced over at Gaara where he sat beside her, his chin resting in his hand as he listened to his siblings with a small smile on his lips. It had never crossed her mind before, the idea of having children with him; marriage hadn't even crossed her mind yet, either. Would he even want that? After what his own childhood had been, she couldn't imagine he would be eager to raise kids of his own. Gaara had already come so far by just letting her come this close, but could he ever bring himself to go that far?

His gaze shifted to her, and their eyes met for a moment. He seemed to look her over just as he had in the kitchen, from her loose hair to her pretty dress, and the look in his eye softened just a little. They stayed like that, simply staring and taking in the sight of each other and basking in the happiness of the evening, before Temari said something that turned his attention away from her and back to the conversation at hand.

Momoko let her imagination wander for just a moment as she watched him talk, that same fond look still in his eye. She thought of what he would look like in a traditional groom's attire, standing beside her before a priest with her hand held tightly in his own. She imagined children with bright red hair and soft eyes, who spoke politely and treated everyone kindly. She pictured what his hair would look like with streaks of grey and how his green eyes would wrinkle in the corners. For the first time since they began seeing each other, Momoko imagined a long life with Gaara; the thought of it made her heart warm for the rest of the meal.

When the plates had been cleared and the dessert had been eaten, they stayed around the table for only a little longer before the other two siblings wished them a goodnight. Temari thanked her for coming and Kankuro bumped his hip against hers as he passed, something she had grown fond of. He did linger in the doorway, looking back at her for just a moment as she smiled at Gaara, then disappeared into the hallway. She felt a little closer to the other two siblings at the end of the night, and deemed dinner a success. Once they were on their own, Gaara offered her to stay a little longer and Momoko didn't hesitate to agree. He guided her up to his room, and Momoko couldn't help the blush that came to her cheeks as she followed.

Gaara held the only bedroom on the top floor, Temari's and Kankuro's being on the main. They walked up the steps and then came to a stop at one of only three doors in the hallway. He explained that the other two were a bathroom and a broom closet before opening the door to his own room.

It was rather boring, in all honesty. There was nothing more than the necessities: a large bed, two nightstands on either side of it, a dresser, and a desk and chair. The walls were a light beige and the sheets on the bed matched them. There were no decorations on the walls or on any surfaces; he could have said no one lived in this room and she would have believed it. The only interesting thing about the room was the large gourd in the corner and the glass doors that lead to a balcony that overlooked the village. 

"It's so empty in here," She observed as she stepped inside, looking around at what little there was to look at, "Where's all the decor?"

"Not everyone cares for a colorful home like you do." Gaara said, a twinge of amusement in his words as he closed the door behind him.

"But this is your space, don't you want it to be a little more...you?" Momoko asked, going to the gourd in the corner so she could look it over.

"How could it not be 'me' if it's mine?" He questioned, watching the way she observed the oddly shaped container. She seemed to pause for a moment, then give a light huff.

"I don't know," She admitted, "But it still just feels so...empty."

"I would offer to let you decorate," He said, "But I can't say we share a similar style."

"We don't have to," She mused, moving to look through the glass doors with a smile now on her lips, "But I don't think some paint and a couple plants could hurt."

He moved to the doors and unlocked them, then held them open for her. Momoko offered him a brighter smile and stepped out on the balcony, and Gaara left the doors open as he joined her. She leaned against the railing and looked out onto the village, watching the way the lights flickered and the people started to retire for the night. It wasn't quite as pretty as the roof of the Kazekage Tower, but it was still a nice view all the same. Gaara came to stand beside her, lightly resting an arm around her waist and she leaned against him with a smile.

"I'm going to miss it here," She sighed softly, and Gaara gave a small grunt beside her.

"We won't be gone forever," He said, amusement in his words, "Just two weeks."

"I know it won't be that long but still," Momoko said, "It's always hard to leave home."

It was odd to think that so much time had passed already. In just four months, she'll have already been here for nearly a year. It felt like no time at all, like Kiba and Lee had left her home just this morning. She would have never thought she would have come this far so soon: a successful shop, a full home, friends, _Gaara_.

"It's so strange," She murmured, "So much has changed and it hasn't even been a year since I came here."

"Is it a good change?" He asked, and Momoko nestled a little closer to him.

"It is," She confirmed, "It's a very good change."

Above her, Gaara's eyes were fixated on the little blue dot in the distance.

"You're happy here, then?" He questioned again, a little softer.

She moved away from him and shifted a bit so that she stood in front of him, her back pressed to the railing and her chest nearly against his. Momoko looked up at him, at the way the lights of the village danced in his eyes, and smiled that same smile that only Gaara had the pleasure of seeing. She brushed her fingers lightly against the scar on his forehead, then down his temple and finally rested her hand against his cheek.

"I'm the happiest I've ever been." She spoke, her words sweet and tone gentle, "Are you happy, Gaara?"

"With you, entirely."

Momoko met him as he bowed his head and their lips pressed together, warm and full and perfect. Gaara let his hands grab at the railing on either side of her, and Momoko wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him in just a little closer.

Their kisses usually lasted for just a moment, a soft brush or quick peck and hardly anything more. Right now, though, a moment didn't feel like enough. It felt like they needed just a little more this time, to be close and taste their kiss for just a little while longer. Gaara was a little hesitant, pulling away just slightly, his breath brushing against her lips as he met her gaze again. But then Momoko smiled, and Gaara didn't hesitate to join their lips back together and use the railing to press her just a bit closer.

She was perfectly happy being caught between him and the railing of the balcony, savoring each move and shift of their lips against each other. He was hesitant, obviously a little shy and unskilled, but it was by no means unenjoyable. Exploring this new feeling was exciting for both of them, and Momoko didn't hesitate to let him guide her through whatever he pleased. One of his hands moved from the railing to press against her lower back, and Momoko sighed softly into the lips that pressed against hers. This new feeling of a prolonged kiss was intoxicating and they stayed there for a little longer than they probably should have, just enjoying the feeling of how well their lips fit together. 

They finally pulled away, both with pink cheeks and a little winded, and pressed their foreheads together as they caught the little breath they needed. Once their lungs were full again, Momoko let out a little chuckle, light and dreamy and enough for Gaara to smile. It was a sweet little laugh, like some silly love-struck girl, and Gaara enjoyed every beautiful note of it. When it died down, he couldn't help but take her lips into another kiss, and they once again melted into the wonderful feeling of each other's embrace.


	26. Completely and Undeniably

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeee here we go! Thank you guys so much for the comments left on previous chapters and I hope you enjoy this one! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Temari and Kankuro were both there the morning they left for Konoha to wish them farewell. It was still so early that the sun hung low in the sky, and Momoko could barely keep her eyes open. Gaara looked as fresh and ready as always, but she could have used just a few more hours. He seemed to notice that right as they got at least a mile from Suna, and Momoko was beyond grateful that he let her rest in the empty wagon for a few hours as his sand pulled it along. Once she was well rested by late morning, Momoko was content to walk by his side.

He made sure to keep her close while they traveled, his arm still in her own or his hand on the small of her back. Being outside of the village put Gaara a little more on the edge. He didn't outwardly show it, but she knew him well enough to know the few changes in his behavior. His eyes turned a little quicker to noises around them, and his gourd never left his back. It was a little silly to see him with it, but Momoko kept her comments to herself. He was already tense from the new atmosphere, she didn't want to add to it in any way.

As fun as traveling with Temari had been, Momoko couldn't help but like the company of Gaara more. There was something about his sharpness, about his constant need to protect her that was attractive, in an odd way. The first night they stopped to let her rest, Gaara sat right beside her sleeping bag and didn't move the whole night through. He was at her side when she woke up, wordlessly looking her over in the very rare event something had happened and then settling back just slightly.

Momoko was pleased to realize that Gaara was quite the attentive partner. He never denied her touch or turned away her requests for affection. He was never more than a few feet away, just close enough that she could reach for him if she pleased. Gaara let her rest a little longer than she needed to, just to make sure she was alright, and always offered to take breaks as they walked. She didn't need to do so very often, but she was glad that he understood that she did need to sometimes. He was kind, patient and protective, and Momoko couldn't help but enjoy the attention from him.

By the time the second night came around, they had finally reached the forests that littered the outskirts of the Land of Fire. The trees had provided a nice covering from the sun during the day, but at night the light of the moon and stars peaked through the leaves. Momoko had laid back in her sleeping bag, looking up at the sky as Gaara sat by her side. There was just enough light from the moon that she could make out his figure beside her, and the hand that carded itself through her hair was a solid reassurance of his presence. The night was quiet, peaceful, and despite being in the middle of the forest, Momoko found herself at ease.

There had been something on her mind, though, since she had known that Gaara would accompany her this time around. Temari had touched on the subject of seeing Naruto again, but Gaara hadn't given away any particular emotion on the topic. Momoko had expected him to at least go tense or for his eyes to go just a little cold, but none of that happened. He had been as calm and cool as ever, and Momoko couldn't help but wonder what he felt on the subject. Would he actually be glad to see Naruto again, knowing what he now knew?

"Gaara?" She said into the night, and a soft hum sounded in response. 

"Are you worried about seeing Naruto tomorrow?" Momoko asked, and the hand in her hair didn't cease.

"No, I'm not." He replied, "Should I be?"

"No," She sighed, closing her eyes at the touch, "But I would hate for you to be uncomfortable around your friend."

"I don't believe there will be an issue once he's been made aware of the situation."

Momoko pursed her lips, her eyes flickering up to look at his face. The angle at which he sat only allowed her to see his profile, and the dim light didn't allow her to see much of it. From what she could tell, his face was it's usual blank slate.

"The situation..." She repeated softly, watching what little she could see of him, "I know we've never really put a name on this, but...do you want to?"

His hand paused for a moment, and Momoko saw his brow furrow just slightly. He didn't look back at her, seemingly slipping into thoughts of his own.

"What would we be?" He asked after a short period of silence.

Momoko shifted a little and then sat up, the sleeping bag slipping down to her waist and his hand falling from her hair. Gaara turned his head to look at her, and she could see his face a little better now. She took the hand that had fallen from her hair and held it in her own on her lap, her other hand coming to lay on top of it as well.

"Well...we're certainly not just friends," She said with a small chuckle, "I'm not seeing other people, and neither are you, so maybe just 'dating' isn't enough, either."

Gaara watched her, watched the tender look in her eye and the smile on her lips as she ran her fingertips over the back of his hand. The moonlight that poked through the leaves of the trees above them danced across her sun-kissed cheeks, and Gaara stared at her with a full heart.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend feels so childish, but it may be the easiest way to describe it to other people." She hummed, tracing soft patterns into the back of the hand she held with her other.

"How would you describe it?" He asked, his words as gentle as her touch, "In your own words?"

The smile on her lips pulled a little wider, and her gaze flickered up to meet his. She stopped tracing the patterns into his hand, instead content with just leaving it with her other in her lap as she reached for him. She raised her hand to his face, and traced every line of the scar carved into his skin.

"I would say you're my dearest, or my beloved, if I wanted to be romantic."

Her fingers trailed down to his temple, where she lightly pushed hair out of the way.

"If I wanted to be funny, I would call you the apple of my eye, or my hunny-bun,"

That brought a small, amused smile to his lips and his eyes stayed fixed on her as she returned the smile with one of her own. She spoke so softly, so tenderly to him that Gaara felt he may just be carried away by the soft waves of her words. It wasn't often that either of them were especially romantic like this, usually content to just enjoy each other's company with the casualty they always did.

But he did not deny that this tenderness captivated him completely. It was quite the contrast to the nervous mess she had been the first time she just took his arm, but here she reached for him and caressed him with the ease of someone whose natural instincts were to do so. Somehow, they had gone from fumbling crushes to this comfortable, familiar relationship. They didn't have to ask anymore, to worry that their touches were too much or their words were too tender. Without even realizing it, they had slipped perfectly into the romantic bond they shared. It was as easy as their friendship had been, and meant so much more.

Finally, her hand came to lay over his cheek and he placed his free one over hers. He dipped his head into her touch and admired the sparkle the action brought to her eyes.

"And if you were to be sincere," He asked, his gaze locked to hers, "What would you call me, then?"

"Simply, mine." She breathed, "Just as I would say that I am yours."

It was her signature in words, the swirls of her writing now heard in the admiration of her tone. The happiness her words brought him drew a soft chuckle from his lips, airy and full of what could have been relief. He closed his eyes, the smile on his lips sweeter than any she had seen on him before.

"What a wonderful thing it is," He said softly, his words as fond as his smile, "To be yours."

Momoko knew right then that she was completely and undeniably in love with him. 

The revelation nearly brought tears to her eyes, but she was content with the watery laugh that slipped past her lips. She kissed him, full and warm and with as much of herself that she could, and they lost themselves again in the joy of each other's lips just as they had on his balcony nights ago. 

He lay beside her that night and they simply stared, their hands interlocked between them. Momoko watched how the shifting leaves above them made the dim moonlight dance across his pale face, the way the light sometimes caught his soft eyes and almost made them glow. He was as handsome as he had always been, more so now that Momoko had realized just how much he meant to her.

Gaara was the first thought in the morning and the last at night, and nearly every moment in between. He was a part of her without feeling like he had taken her over entirely. His presence brought comfort and his words brought a warmth unlike any she had felt before. Loving Naruto had been so sudden and so fiercely, but as she lay and stared into Gaara's eyes as sleep gradually called to her, she began to wonder if she had ever really loved Naruto at all- because this felt nothing like that.

This wasn't crippling, didn't consume her entirely or make her lose sight of all else. This had been slow and beautiful, like the planting and blooming of a flower. Loving Gaara had taken time- she had to get to know him not as a child still growing into himself, but as the man he would be for good. They were both grown and who they were supposed to be, and Momoko didn't have to change herself to adjust to the person he would become. Of course small things would change, but not so much so that Momoko wouldn't recognize him at the end of the day. It had taken time to be his acquaintance and then his dear friend, until the attraction she felt for him finally had the foundation to grow into something more.

And it was a beautiful thing to watch grow. From the moments in his office, to their first kiss under the streetlight and their personal talk on the roof- even the hard discussion in her home had played its own important part in shaping what they were. Seeing Gaara look the way he only ever did with her, feeling his kiss and his hands, what it meant to be cared for and adored by him, had led to this realization that she loved him and loved him completely.

She knew the answer now, to what Kankuro had asked her that day. No matter how much it may hurt or how hard it would be, Momoko would never leave his side. She would be here until he wished her away or until the end of their days, whichever came first. Momoko was finally the person Gaara needed her to be, sure of herself and solid in her devotion to him. She wouldn't run away when things got hard or cower when the world needed him; she would be his one certainty in the world. Just as she had thought that day, falling in love with Gaara would make him everything to her, and that is what he was now and would be until the very end.

Momoko fell asleep that night, her heart full and feeling more herself than she had ever been before, and Gaara was right at her side.


	27. Back in Konoha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up! I have decided to up the rating of this story. I will mark the chapters that have mature content! 
> 
> Once again, thank you guys so much for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

When the gates of Konoha came into view, Momoko felt her heart beating wildly in her chest. That excitement only grew as they came closer, and two blurs of pink and yellow became visible. Momoko held tighter to Gaara's arm, the excitement so fierce that it nearly made her bounce with every step. Finally, when they grew close enough, Gaara let her go and gestured her forward with a small smile. She wasted no time in taking off, meeting Sakura just in front of the gate.

Being in Sakura's arms would always feel like home. She held on tightly, the girl's laughter nearly drowned out by the happiness Momoko felt right then. From the sweetness of her perfume to the feeling of her embrace, Momoko's eyes grew glassy with the weight of just how much she had missed her friend. It had been nearly five months since they had seen each other, and Momoko felt every moment of that distance as she held her now.

"I've missed you so much," Sakura breathed against her, and Momoko could tell by the tone of her words that she also had tears in her eyes.

Momoko finally pulled back just enough to look at her, not stepping entirely from her embrace just yet. She was the same as ever, beautiful and soft and as excited to see her as Momoko was. It was a face she had loved all her life and a face she would love for the rest of it.

"I've missed you too," She laughed, ignoring the happy tears that now fell, "More than I can say."

"No way!" A loud voice boomed from behind Sakura, "Gaara!"

Momoko looked over her friend's shoulder to the blonde boy, who's eyes were wide with excitement and grin taking up nearly half of his face. Gaara must have caught up to her after giving the wagon to a few Konoha ninja who had already been at the gate, and she watched as Naruto moved past both girls to get to the man behind her.

She was almost afraid when Naruto hugged the other so tightly he lifted his feet from the ground, but was relieved to see nothing but fondness in Gaara's eyes. He even smiled, though his arms stayed tight to his sides.

"It's good to see you, old friend." The Kazekage said as Naruto finally sat his feet back on the ground.

"Momo didn't tell us you were coming!" The blonde laughed, pulling his arms away from him, "I could have planned to have a guys night for us!"

Gaara was in high spirits being near his friend again, and Momoko saw it in the way he looked at the blonde and kept a small smile on his lips. She turned her attention back to Sakura, who had been looking her over with bright eyes.

"Look at you!" Sakura laughed, standing back from her sun-kissed cheeks and spotted shoulders, "You're so tan! And look at all these freckles!"

"Thank you!" Momoko giggled, fixing the ponytail her hair had been pulled into, "Suna looks pretty good on me, huh?"

"I'll say!" Naruto spoke up beside her, his grin a little brighter than a moment ago, "It's good to see you, Momo!"

She glanced back at Gaara, who's eyes seemed to go just a little cooler as Naruto suddenly swept her into his arms with the same hug he had given Gaara. Momoko laughed a little awkwardly, patting his shoulder as he sat her down.

"It's good to see you too, Naruto," She said, her words a little sheepish. 

The blonde opened his mouth to say something else, but Sakura beat him to it. She had already greeted Gaara and had turned her attention back to Momoko.

"I hope you guys are hungry," She said with a smile, "We've been waiting for you to get here before we go to dinner,"

"I'm starving!" Momoko replied with a grin before turning to look at Gaara, "Are you?"

"Not particularly," He answered, "I think it's best I see Tsunade before doing anything else." 

"It's gonna be me you check in with pretty soon!" Naruto said with a grin, and the words made the redhead smile.

"I don't doubt that in the slightest,"

"At least let us walk you there," Momoko offered, to which Gaara only nodded in return.

"We'll figure out where to eat along the way," Sakura said, and her teammate nodded in agreement.

Just as he always did, and as he always would, Gaara offered Momoko his arm and she accepted with a smile. Naruto didn't seem to pay the motion any mind, but it made Sakura pause for just a moment, her eyes briefly meeting Momoko's before the blonde jinchuriki was leading them through the gates and into town.

"Where are you guys staying?" Sakura questioned from Momoko's other side as they walked.

"Probably the same inn Temari and I stayed at last time," Momoko replied.

"If it was just you, I'd offer you come stay with me," Sakura said, and she could tell from the tone of her words what she was implicating next, "But I wouldn't want to intrude."

It brought a blush to Momoko's cheeks and an instant smile to Sakura's as her suspicions were confirmed. On Gaara's other side, Naruto leaned forward to look at the two girls oddly.

"Why would it be intruding?" He asked, "Gaara could stay with me if you want to go with Sakura!"

Gaara's eyes flickered down at Momoko, at her red cheeks and the way Sakura snickered at her, then turned his attention back to the blonde man at his side.

"The inn is fine, Naruto." He intervened, "Thank you for the offer."

Naruto gave the three a puzzled look, but didn't get the chance to press on as Sakura spoke again. To Momoko's relief, it was a new topic.

They talked about dinner and the various places they could go for it, and Gaara couldn't help but watch the way Momoko lit up when she spoke to her friends. She had once looked that way for him when they talked; though a part of him missed it, he was too grateful for the way she looked at him now to mourn the change. The excitement was clear in her words as she spoke to Sakura about their upcoming meal. Naruto didn't hesitate to add his own opinion in, and even then Momoko still glowed with the pleasure of their company. It was nice to see her so happy, and Gaara was content to simply stare and be a part of it.

Naruto had his own conversation with Gaara, mostly about how the years had treated them and how he was doing as Kazekage. Despite the momentary worry that his discovery of him and Momoko had brought, Gaara found himself slipping easily into the comfort of being near his friend again. No matter how he may have felt about their previous relationship, Gaara was too glad to see him again to let it really affect his mood. He was just happy to be here, with Momoko on one side and Naruto on the other.

It did become a little more obvious, the closer they got to the Hokage's office, that Naruto didn't quite understand what was happening between Gaara and Momoko. Of course Gaara wasn't the most socially aware person, but he had thought that their linked arms and Sakura's sly comments would give him some clue. But he still just laughed and talked like nothing was wrong, and it wasn't until he spoke to Momoko just as the building came into view that Gaara realized he would have to make clear where she and Naruto now stood.

"Maybe one of these nights you and I could do something, Momo?" He offered with a grin, "Go down to the river like we used to?"

She felt Gaara's arm tighten just slightly, hardly enough for anyone else to notice but Momoko knew him well enough that she did. She laid her other hand on his arm, but Gaara kept his gaze forward and face neutral. Momoko looked at Naruto, offering him a hesitant little smile.

"Yeah, maybe..."

He didn't seem to hear the hesitation in her words and instead beamed at her brightly, which she could only return with a weak smile. Beside her, Sakura frowned, her eyes trailing up to Gaara. She couldn't make out any expression on his face, but that didn't surprise her at all. She would have to talk to Momoko about this, find a way to break it to Naruto the easiest way possible.

The four of them came to a stop in front of the Hokage building, and Naruto turned his attention back to his friend to offer him a grin.

"I'll definitely see you again, Gaara!" He stated, patting Gaara on the shoulder, "Tell Tsunade I said hey when you see her!"

Gaara gave him a small smile in return, as well as a nod, "I will."

"Gaara," Sakura said kindly, "I'm sure I'll see you, too."

"Of course." He replied, then turned his attention to Momoko.

She let go of his arm with a smile, and the look in his eyes softened as he stared down at her. Sakura noticed it instantly, and couldn't help but feel happy for her friend despite the teammate that stood beside them. 

"I'll meet you back here after dinner!" Momoko informed him, her smile just as sweet as ever, "See you soon!"

She expected him to nod and bid her farewell, to turn and leave without another word. It was what he usually did in public, a simple goodbye and nothing more.

What she didn't expect was the hand that brushed against her cheek and lips pressed to her own. She stiffened just a little and heard Sakura's soft gasp beside her, but she didn't hesitate to close her eyes and return his kiss. It was short and sweet, and Momoko stared at him with wide eyes as he pulled away.

From the look in his eyes, Momoko could tell that he knew what he had done. He didn't look to Naruto, who now stood in stunned silence beside them. Instead he let his fingers brush against her pink cheek for a moment more as she stared up at him.

"Until then." He said, his words simple and steady, before he turned and headed inside the Hokage building.

A heavy silence hung over the three of them, and Momoko couldn't bring herself to look at Naruto just yet. Sakura looked between her two friends, Momoko staring at the ground with red cheeks and Naruto's hands clenched into fists. She wasn't sure how to mediate this situation, but she didn't have enough time to figure out before Naruto finally spoke.

"I-I have to go-"

"Naruto, wait-!"

He was already gone from sight when Momoko looked up and called to him, and he left the two women standing there in front of the building in stunned silence. Sakura frowned, making a note to try and find him later, but for now turned her attention to Momoko. She was staring after him, a frown on her lips and Sakura sighed softly at the sight.

"Come on," Sakura said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder, "He just needs a little time, don't let it ruin being back for you."

Momoko looked at her, her eyes still sad but knowing that she was right. He would find out eventually, and there was no reason to let it dampen the mood. With a sigh, Momoko tried to bring a smile back to her lips as Sakura took her arm just as Gaara had and led her back into the village.

Though Sakura had done a rather good job of keeping her distracted and happy that evening, Momoko's mind couldn't help but wander. She was surprised Gaara had kissed her in front of Naruto, truthfully, and even more surprised he had that side to him. Momoko had never taken Gaara as the type to feel the need to assert himself in front of others, especially not someone he considered his friend. She would have thought he would want to tell Naruto himself in a calm and collected manner, just as he handled all things. She couldn't even begin to understand what was going on in his head at that moment.

Sakura walked her back to the gates where they had left the wagon in the hands of the shinobi who guarded it. She grabbed both of their bags from it, Sakura offering to carry one, and made plans for the wagon to be taken to the Yamanaka's shop. Traveling with the Kazekage definitely had its perks, Momoko mused to herself. Once their bags were collected, the two girls headed for the Hokage building.

"Are you nervous?" Sakura questioned her, excitement clear in her words, "To stay at an inn with him?" 

"I don't think we'll be sharing a room," Momoko said with a light snicker, color coming to her cheeks.

"Really?" Sakura asked, "Have you two...you know?"

The question made her cheeks grow hotter and she avoided eye-contact with the other girl. 

"W-We've made out once or twice," She admitted, her eyes trying to focus on the path ahead and not on Sakura's clear excitement.

"Maybe this is your chance!" Her friend all but squealed beside her, "Maybe he'll try to make a move!" 

"Sakura," Momoko groaned, the heat rising to her ears, "I don't even know if he's...you know, interested in _that_."

"Of course he is!" She huffed, "He's a man, all men are interested in _that_!"

"Gaara isn't like most men, though." She sighed, "He's already come so far by just dating me, I don't want to try my luck by trying to push him farther."

"You're right," Sakura admitted, "He's so different from when I met him in the Chunin Exams. I thought Naruto had changed him for good, but the way he looks at you..." She sighed dreamily, "I wish someone looked at me like that." 

"Like what?" Momoko asked with a nervous little chuckle, the confusion clear in her words.

"Like you're the only person there," Sakura explained with a smile, "He'd get this look in his eyes every time you talked, like he never wants to be anywhere else but right at your side. I think he's in love with you, Momo." 

The thought made her pause, coming to a halt as soon as the words left her lips. She had never really thought it before, that Gaara was in love with her. Of course she now knew that she was in love with him, but part of her never really considered that he would return those feelings in the magnitude she did. She was just glad to be at his side, to hold his hand and kiss him, that she hadn't really cared if he was in love with her too. So long as she could be close to him, Momoko didn't need much else.

But to be loved by Gaara...truly, that would be the greatest honor she could think of. Not just to be cared for like she was now, but to be loved and adored and valued above all else. She couldn't imagine how wonderful being loved by him would feel, given how wonderful he already did make her feel. Sakura's words gave her hope that maybe, someday, Gaara could fall as in love with her as she had fallen for him.

"You love him too, don't you?" Sakura asked, a kind smile on her lips.

Momoko didn't hesitate, "Yeah, I do,"

"Oh, Momoko!" Sakura laughed happily, pulling her friend into her arms and holding her close, "That's wonderful!"

Momoko couldn't help the smile that came to her lips, and she held Sakura close. Despite their mutual friendship with Naruto, she was glad that Sakura could still find it in herself to celebrate this new part of her life.

"I'm so happy for you!" Sakura exclaimed, then pulled away from the embrace after giving her a squeeze, "Does he know?"

"No," Momoko said as she shook her head, "I didn't really realize it until recently." 

"Still, I really am happy for you," Sakura repeated, a wide smile on her lips, "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," She laughed softly, glad to start their walk again as Sakura started to move.

"So you've admitted that you're in love with him, and you're still going to tell me nothing will happen between you two at the inn?" Sakura giggled, and the color that had finally faded from her cheeks came back full swing.

"I-I mean, I don't know," Momoko insisted again, fiddling with the straps of her bag rather than the fabric of her dress, "I wouldn't _mind_ anything happening, but like I said, I don't even know if he's interested in that sort of thing."

"Why not just ask him about it?" Sakura questioned, and the thought nearly made Momoko light-headed, "Isn't communication a big part of a relationship?"

"Well, yes, but there's no way I can just come straight out and ask him if he wants to... _you know!_ "

Sakura laughed beside her, and even though she was embarrassed, Momoko couldn't help the little smile the sound of it brought.

Truthfully, it had crossed her mind before. The few times they had made out had definitely gotten her a little more curious than usual, and it'd be a lie to say her mind didn't wander off when she lay in bed at night. She had imagined what it would feel like to run her hands over his bare skin, to hear him sigh at her touch or feel his naked body against her own. Momoko wasn't an especially sexual person, but being so near him all the time and in love had made her more curious about this side of relationships. She and Naruto had never gotten very far, just some heaving kissing and petting here and there, so she wasn't very well versed in this side of love.

"Whenever it does happen," Sakura said with a reassuring smile, pulling Momoko from her thoughts, "I'm sure it'll be perfect, for the both of you."

As much as Sakura liked to tease her sometimes, all in good-nature of course, she always came back to sincerity. It had been a long time since she had seen her friend so in love and so _happy_ in love, that Sakura was too thrilled to be anything but supportive. Momoko was her very best friend in all the world, and she wanted nothing but the absolute best for her. After having to learn the hard way how to love, she was confident that Gaara was just that.

When they reached the building, Gaara was already standing outside the doors waiting for them. He took his bag from Sakura and thanked her for carrying it, before the pink-haired women promised to see them soon and wished them farewell.

Once the two of them were alone again, a heavy silence fell between them. With each step that Sakura took away from them, Momoko's mood dwindled little by little. Being near him again reminded her of the events from earlier and the smile on her face slowly faded away. He watched her sigh softly, glance up at him for just a moment, before beginning to walk towards the inn they were going to stay at. Even as they walked, the silence hung between them, and Gaara didn't quite understand the sudden shift.

"You're upset with me," He said, more an observation than a question.

"I am," Momoko sighed for the second time in just a few minutes.

"Why?"

"That was cruel," She stated.

"It was necessary." Gaara replied evenly.

"We would have told him eventually," Momoko huffed.

"After you two had already gone back to the river?" He spoke, the sharpness of his words taking her by surprise.

"Jealousy doesn't give you the right to be unkind, Gaara." She retorted quickly, trying to push down the faint traces of anger that bubbled inside of her, "Not to Naruto, and especially not to me."

He fell silent again, his eyes turning from her to the path in front of them. They walked in silence for the rest of the way, and for the first time Momoko was alright to leave it as such. She needed to collect herself, reel back the temper she usually didn't have and try to cool down. Gaara may have been thinking the same thing, because he didn't say another word even as they reached the inn.

Momoko was the one that stepped up to the front desk and talked to the woman behind it after they greeted each other.

"Two rooms, please. Each with one bed, if possible."

The woman smiled up at her then turned her attention to the books on her desk. She flipped through a couple pages for a moment before looking back up at her.

"I'm afraid we're limited on availability since we're having some remodeling done. It seems the only thing we have left is one room with two beds." 

Momoko felt herself blush again- how many times would that happen today? She looked back at Gaara, who looked from the woman behind the desk to her. 

"We could try somewhere else?" Momoko offered, and Gaara didn't get a chance to speak before the woman replied to her.

"We can offer you a discount on the room for the inconvenience," She said, her smile kind though she still tried to push for the sale. Momoko didn't mind, she was just doing her job after all. She turned her attention back to Gaara, who now only nodded in return.

"We'll take it," She sighed, handing over the amount the woman soon told her. It was a little more expensive then she cared for, mostly because they were staying for so long, and she didn't deny Gaara when he paid for half.

It wasn't what she had planned on, but it was better than having to pay more for it. Besides, she had slept with Gaara by her side for the last two days, how could two different beds be much different? The woman handed them each a key to the room and they were free to go.

It was a decently sized room, with two queen-sized beds on either side. There was a nightstand between them that had just an alarm clock and radio on top of it, as well as a dresser on the opposite wall the beds were pushed against. There was just a little decoration, a beautifully painted scroll hanging above each bed and deep blue sheets neatly made on top of them. On the opposite wall of the door was a large circle window that took up nearly the height of the wall, and the sill of it was deep enough to sit comfortably on. There was a sliding door to the bathroom by the door to enter, and there looked to be a decently sized shower inside. Overall, it was a nice, spacious room and Momoko didn't have a problem staying here for the rest of their trip.

With a sigh, she set her bag on the bed furthest from the window and rummaged through it for her pajamas. Gaara set his bag down on the other bed without a word, and Momoko collected her clothes and toiletries before shutting herself in the bathroom.

Gaara stared after her for a moment, his lips pursed into a thin line as the shower was turned on. He sighed softly to himself, setting his gourd down in the corner of the room before changing into his own night clothes. It was a simple white wife beater and long red pajama pants, and once he was changed Gaara folded his dirty clothes and set them aside. He went to the large window, looked out to the night that had just darkened the sky, and sat on the sill. 

He felt bad, to put it as simply as he could. He shouldn't have acted without consulting her, and now she was upset with him for it. Rightfully so, he thought, because the more he thought of her displeasure the more he regretted his actions. They should have talked to Naruto about it rather than what Gaara had done. He didn't think about how it would affect Naruto or Momoko, he only thought of himself and his desire to make their relationship known. She had been right: he was jealous, and he let it hurt her.

Momoko came out of the bathroom not too later, her wet hair braided down her back and her cheeks a little flushed from the steam. The pajamas she wore now were different than the ones she wore while they traveled. While those had been a little thicker and longer, these were loose and more comfortable. Her t-shirt was big enough that it hung off one shoulder and her shorts were so short they nearly disappeared entirely underneath it. Despite the strain between them at the moment, Gaara couldn't help but let his eyes linger on her just a moment longer.

"Can I turn off the lights?" She asked, her words neutral but rather obvious that she was still cross with him.

Gaara didn't speak, so she took it as a yes. With a frown, she turned out the lights and slipped under the covers of her bed, turning her back to him as she tried to get comfortable here. 

It was silent for a while, but Gaara knew she was still awake. He wasn't ignoring her, just trying to collect his thoughts before he apologized to her. He didn't want to go to bed with her still upset with him for fear that it would carry on to the morning. It was rare that he left the village for so long, he didn't want the quality time with her to be wasted. So it didn't take much longer for him to pull his eyes from the view of the village and look back to where she lay. 

"I'm sorry." He said, knowing from her shifting that she was still awake, "I shouldn't have acted out."

She was quiet for a moment before turning to face the window. She looked him over from where he sat in the sill, observing him before she let out a soft sigh. Without a word, she scooted over on the bed and lifted the covers in a silent invitation.

Gaara stared at it, then to her, then back again. He knew what she implied but was unsure of carrying it out. He expected her to drop the blanket and roll back over when he did not immediately come, but instead she sat and waited patiently, just as she always did. Eventually, Gaara did move off the window sill to stand beside her bed. When she still did not drop the blankets, Gaara allowed himself to hesitantly slip under them and lay at her side. He turned on his side to face her, just a foot away from where she lay facing him. There was a small frown on her lips and a knot in her brow, but she still met his eyes as they lay facing each other.

"Why did you do it, if you knew it was wrong?"

He didn't need to ponder it too long to know what it was that drove him to act out. She had said it herself: _jealousy_. It felt childish, like this was a kid being told he had to share his toys. Maybe that was a bad example, because Momoko was not a toy and he certainly wasn't going to _share_ anything. But it was similar: the fear of losing what he currently had to someone else. He knew better than to doubt Momoko or provoke Naruto, but in that moment he just couldn't help himself.

"I was...jealous," He admitted simply, slowly, "And I let it get the better of me,"

"You hurt his feelings," She said with a small frown, and Gaara searched her eyes for any kind of pain of her own.

"Did I hurt yours?"

"I'm not the only person that matters, Gaara," Momoko replied, and Gaara's eyes flickered away from her for a moment, "I know that it's easy to ignore everything else when it comes to...romance, but its just as important to keep your relationships with other people as it is with me."

He looked back to her and found her eyes still on him, and a small frown tugged at Gaara's lips. Her eyes searched him, looking for some kind of glint that told her he wasn't sorry about at all. But instead she just found a somber trace of remorse, a look she had yet to see in them despite their bond.

"How do I balance it?" He asked quietly, "The rest of the world and you?"

"I'm still learning, too." She offered him a small, reassuring smile, "But we can start with talking to Naruto the next time we see him."

Gaara sighed softly, the frown still on his lips.

"We won't see him for a few days at least," She spoke, "But when we do, we'll try to tell him the right way. Please?" 

"Of course," He agreed, nodding slightly even though his head lay in a pillow.

She stared at him for a moment longer, searching his eyes for anything more before finally letting herself be at ease with him again. She moved her hand from underneath the covers to lay open between them, and Gaara didn't hesitate to lay his hand on hers.

"I never took you for the jealous type," She said with a soft sigh, the hostility fading from her face and eyes.

"Being with you has brought out parts of myself I didn't realize existed." Gaara replied, the coolness fading to something softer, kinder.

"Are they bad?"

"Only a few." He said, then gave her hand a light squeeze, "But I would rather them than none at all." 

A small smile ghosted across her lips, and she intertwined their fingers as they lay side by side. Just as they had the night before, Gaara and Momoko lay beside each other and simply stared. By now they had long since memorized every curve and blemish of their faces, every soft dip and beautiful hollow. But that didn't stop them from watching each other now, silent and content to simply be together.


	28. Gratitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! 2000 views!! That’s amazing!! Thanks for reading this story and sticking with it!! And for the kudos!! You guys are wonderful!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for reading!!

It wasn't until the fourth day of their visit that Gaara and Momoko had time to themselves. It had been a rapid blur of seeing friends, talking to Tsunade, making arrangements with the Yamanakas, and they were glad to finally have a moment to enjoy each other in this new place. Of course there had been their moments at the inn, but that had been limited to nights and mornings alone.

The bed nearest to the window had remained unused, as the nights spent on the road had spoiled Momoko with having Gaara at her side as she drifted to sleep. After the lights would go out at night, Momoko would lift the blanket and only then would Gaara slide into bed next to her. They would sleep with space between them, only connected where their hands remained intertwined through the night. Gaara was often up before her but could not pull himself away from her just yet until she herself had awakened.

This morning, however, was a little different. Momoko woke with a soft stir, a sigh, and her eyes fluttered open to meet the bright light of morning. Her fingers subconsciously flexed around the ones between hers, before her grip returned and she held onto his hand again. As she had every other morning, Momoko expected her gaze to meet pale green almost instantly, but her tired mind was surprised with the sight of Gaara still peacefully sleeping beside her. It took her a few more moments to blink the sleep from her eyes and come to understand the sight in front of her, but once her wits were more about her Momoko relaxed again and simply stared at the man before her.

He looked the most at peace now than he ever had before. Usually, being in her presence seemed to sooth him and put him more at ease, but she had never quite seen him like this before. His features were relaxed, gentle, clear of any traces of worry or stress. Though the expression he wore was usually blank and void of emotion, this lack of it was entirely different. His lips had been parted as he breathed softly, no knot to his brow or tension in his jaw. The hand in hers was loose, limb, but still in hers nonetheless.

She allowed herself a few moments before she woke him to simply watch the steady rise and fall of his chest and the way his eyes seemed to roam behind his closed lids. Despite her mind still being thick with sleep, Momoko's heart was warm and her lips were smiling even before words had formed. She wondered what he would look like waking up, if he would gradually stir awake or come to consciousness with a sudden opening of his eyes. It had been nearly a week of having Gaara beside her at night, but she had never seen him sleeping before. He was always awake, alert, long before she was. It was a new sight to her, and Momoko took it in eagerly.

Momoko thought back on these few days, how nice it had been to see him interact with old friends and colleagues. The animosity the Leaf nin may have harbored for him had long since faded, and most people greeted him with as kind a smile as they gave her. Momoko was thrilled to see her old friends again, and though he was never one to show too much emotion, she knew Gaara enjoyed it as well. They had nearly every meal with a new group of people, Sakura and Ino being the most frequent. Naruto had yet to come around, but they knew he needed time. So they enjoyed the people they saw and the business that needed tended to, until finally they had a day like today.

She wanted to show him all of the important spots of her childhood: where she was raised, where her parents' shop had been, and the fields where she had come to love the flowers who made her who she was. Gaara had seemed rather interested in this tour of her past and Momoko was all too excited to guide him. They had talked about Gaara's own life in length, but it was rare that they really dwelled on hers. Mostly because she lacked the excitement that a shinobi's life was bursting with, but now that they were in the place of her youth, Momoko found an opportunity to share more of herself with him.

She was pleasantly surprised that there were things they were still learning about each other. Though their friendship had been solid and their current relationship strong, each new day seemed to bring with it new things about each other. She learned that Gaara thought holding hands in the street was a little too intimate for public: she giggled when he said so, but accepted it nonetheless. Gaara had found that Momoko snorted when she laughed too hard, something he brought up later that night that made her blush red to her ears. They were just little things, not so much secrets as they were facts that had yet to be revealed. It made the days exciting, knowing that they were getting so much closer to knowing each other entirely.

Momoko resisted the urge to kiss him when she felt his fingers tighten for a second around hers, so taken with her thoughts and feelings that she nearly ignored the fact that it may startle him. He gave a hum, deep and thick with the weight of sleep, as he was slowly brought back to consciousness. Gaara's eyes cracked open, the pale green a stark contrast to the black that encircled his eyes, and his gaze seemed to unfocus and refocus a few times before he found himself. He opened his eyes a little wider, grateful that his back was to the window and that he didn't face the morning light, and the first sight he was met with was a warm smile and kind eyes.

In his still groggy mind, Gaara thought she looked like an angel. She left her hair down last night, and it tumbled lazily over her shoulders and across the pillow where she lay. The sun seemed to reflect off of the blonde strands, and he could have sworn right then in his sleepy state that she glowed. Her eyes were a welcomed sight, the pale blue and tenderness of her gaze striking a cord in his heart. Even the smile which spread across her full lips looked angelic in that moment, and Gaara thought sleepily that if this was not what heaven would look like, he wanted no part of it.

He smiled, slow and small, and Momoko's own widened at the sight. It took him a few more moments to gain full consciousness, and even then he did not move an inch or speak a word. They simply lay side by side and stared, just as they had done many times before and would likely do for as long as their lives allowed it.

The morning was young and the day was still early, but their feelings did not know time. It could have been the sunrise or the sunset, but they would still be just as taken with the sight of each other as they were now. Neither of them had woken up to this before: the sight of their dearest friend and fondest companion laying beside them. Usually they woke quickly and started the day, but this morning allowed them the time to bask in the feeling of waking up and not being entirely alone. The day would run on their clock, and they were content to spend the first moments of it laying in this bed and drinking in the sight of the one they loved. 

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you," She finally spoke, after what could have been seconds or hours, "You just looked so peaceful, I couldn't disturb you."

He gave another hum, low and deep in his throat, "You're lucky I'm fond of you," Gaara replied, his thick words laced with amusement, "Or I'd be upset."

"Lucky, indeed." She repeated pleasantly, drawing his hand close so that she could press her lips to the back of his hand.

Gaara pulled his hand from her mouth and allowed his free one to tangle itself in golden strands as he guided her closer to him. Momoko went with the motion easily and let him draw her into his arms and press his lips to hers. She sighed softly into his kiss, content and pleased, and tucked herself against him with little thought. Her hands lay against his chest as he held her to him, and their lips moved in a slow, lazy dance against one another's. It was warm and wonderful, the perfect way to start their day together, and they once again lost themselves in the embrace.

"We should probably get up soon," She spoke after finally pulling away, her cheeks pink and her breath coming in short pants.

"Just a little longer," He replied, his lips skimming the corner of her mouth.

"How much longer?"

"Two hours, maybe three."

She laughed, the sound more beautiful than any harp or violin in the world, and he pulled away from her to simply stare. Momoko brought her hands to cup his face, her eyes bright with happiness.

"As wonderful as that sounds, we do have plans today," Momoko giggled, and Gaara memorized every gorgeous note of it, "I'm sorry, my dearest."

The term of endearment made his heart warm, and he smiled as he turned his face in her hands to press a gentle kiss to one of her palms. Reluctantly, he rose from the bed and allowed her to do the same, and their day began.

As promised, Momoko led him through every important staple of her life. She guided him through the village as though he had never been before, pointing out the restaurants her parents would take her on birthdays or special occasions and shops she and the girls would spend hours in. Momoko enthusiastically recalled the festivals that lit up these streets and the deliveries she made in the early hours of the mornings of her youth. She laughed at memories sometimes, her arm in Gaara's as they walked, and he clung to every word.

They visited her parents' shop first, or rather what once was. It was a little fabric store now, and Momoko guided him inside. She pointed out the things that had changed: the counters had been on the other side of the room, the wallpaper was removed, the floors had been updated. Momoko let her fingers glide along smooth silks as she told him about learning how to arrange bouquets and understand the language of flowers. He asked what their favorite flowers had been, and she recalled with a smile that her mother had loved daisies and her father, lisianthus. They didn't stay here for very long, and when Momoko felt ready to move on, he offered his arm again and they set out for the next stop.

They reached her childhood home in the late afternoon, a modest little place on the north side of the village. She explained that she hadn't brought herself to sell it just yet, even after all this time, and was glad that it meant she could easily show him inside. The house was nearly empty, most of the furnishings long since sold and the important things moved to the desert, but Gaara followed her from room to room as she shared with him the memories that each one held. Gaara listened as she explained the meals her mother would make in the kitchen, the games they would play in the living room, how the walls of her bedroom had been painted more times than she could count, the bathroom she had filled with bubbles on many occasions due to miscalculations of soap, and the amount of times she had stubbed her toes on the small step at the beginning of the hallway.

Momoko spoke with light in her eyes, the smile never leaving her lips as she took him through everything that made her who she was. He listened to it all, smiling and nodding along the way, glad to still be a part of this even though he wasn't here to experience any of it. It was endearing, watching her excitedly recall memories and sometimes vividly acting out others. She had loved her life, that was obvious, and Gaara was glad that her childhood had been so happy. 

Sometimes, though, she would fall a little quiet, and the light in her eyes would dim to something softer. She would pause and walk into the nearly empty room, watch the way the sun caught the dust and just reminisce on the life she had. She did this when they came to her parents' room, and again in her father's study. Momoko didn't say much in the former, but in the later she did share with him a few stories as she trailed her fingers over the spines of the few books that had been left on the web-covered bookshelves. After a few moments of silence she pulled a book from the shelf and read the cover, before telling Gaara that as a child she had always thought her father had the largest library in the world. She knew better now, she said, but it still sometimes felt so big.

The pair left the home just before sunset, and Momoko walked with Gaara a little ways longer before coming to a stop. 

"Do you remember the way back to the inn?" She asked, and he nodded, the confusion clear in his eyes.

"I do," He replied.

"I'll meet you back there in an hour or so, then," Momoko said as she unlooped her arm from his.

"Where are you going?" Gaara asked, and she offered him a small smile. 

"I want to visit their grave before it gets dark," She explained, a distant look now coming to her eye.

Gaara stared at her in silence for a few moments before his gaze flickered over her shoulder, then to her again. His eyes were gentle andit made Momoko smile. He seemed a little nervous the more he thought about something, and she watched the way he had to look away from her when he spoke again.

"I would like to come with you, if you'll allow it."

The words took her by surprise, and she stared up at him with wide eyes before nodding, the smile coming back to her lips after a second. Without a word, Momoko resumed walking and Gaara took his place at her side. The buildings became sparse until there were no more, just the fields and forests that lined the outside of the village. The sun was just starting to fall from the sky when they came to a stop at the top of a hill, where a single headstone lay underneath.

Momoko got on her knees in front of the stone and simply sat, silent as she laid a hand over its cold surface. Gaara stayed standing a few steps behind, content to remain quiet as she took the time she needed. There was a small smile on her lips and the warm sunlight made her glassy eyes shine. 

She missed them terribly and always would, but the shooting pain had dulled to a throb. The time to mourn had passed, and Momoko instead appreciated the time they had. She was beyond grateful to her parents; her life had been so happy because of them, she was the person she loved being because of how they raised her. They taught her how to love and the importance of it. They were kind, and wonderful, and everything parents ought to be. Even though they were gone now and they only had these few instances when she was able to visit, Momoko was too glad to have ever had them at all to mourn them now.

After a while she stood and rubbed at her eyes, then turned to Gaara with a small smile.

"I'm going to pick flowers for them," She said, "Then we can go." 

Gaara nodded and watched her walk a little ways back down the hill, leaving him with the stone under the cherry blossom tree. He watched her for a moment, how her dress swayed slightly in the wind and the warm hues of the sun bounced off her golden hair like a halo, before looking back to the grave. He was silent, rereading the names carved into the stone nearly twice more before he finally let out a soft sigh. Gaara glanced over her shoulder again to see Momoko now occupied with finding flowers, and when he looked back to the grave he finally spoke the words he had wanted to say.

"I am not often inclined to speak tenderly, or passionately, but this may be the only time we ever meet." He said, his words quiet and low so that they wouldn't be overheard, "My parents did not give me even a fraction of what you gave her, but I don't resent her for having what I didn't. I'm glad she had parents who cared for her and made her life so wonderful. You have shown her love without condition and happiness beyond words. It's because of that love that Momoko is who she is, and I don't believe I could ever thank you enough for what you have given her, what you have given me."

It was silly to feel nervous, he knew that. Momoko was out of ear-shot and in nearly every physical way, he was alone. But he knew that now matter how far away another person may be, while he was standing in front of this stone, he wasn't _really_ alone.

Gaara was never a very spiritual person, didn't dwell on life after this or where we went when we died. Dying had made him more at peace with the idea of death, in some odd way. Maybe what he saw wasn't what it really was, but the fact that he had seen anything was comforting. He wondered were Kimiko and Toshi were now, if they were happy; he knew that wherever they were, they were watching him as he spoke.

"She is my best friend and closest companion, and I have never felt so at peace at anyone else's side as I do her's. She has taken my faults in stride, forgiven me for the unforgivable, and shown me a kindness unlike any I have been shown before. Momoko is...the best thing in my life, and I will never be able to express the extent of my gratitude to you for making her who she is. From the very bottom of my heart, _thank you_."

The great Kazekage sunk to his knees, placed his hands on the cool earth, and bowed low to the stone before him.


	29. The Next Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Light Sexual Content**
> 
> I'm posting this way earlier in the day than usual, but here it is! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing your feedback!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

It started as each one did, soft and slow and full of meaning, but there was something else there that neither of them had really felt before. It was the twitching of fingers, the need to feel more and to touch more, that made them draw back for just a moment. They breathed, just a little strained as they stared at each other again. There were no words, only a gaze so intense she feared she may crumble under it. The look in his eyes was clear, that Gaara's heart pounded as loud as her's did, and Momoko found herself wanting a little more than the kiss they had shared. Without a word and without breaking her eyes from his, Momoko's hands bunched the fabric of the shirt he wore and tugged slightly.

Gaara claimed her lips once again, but there was a fire behind the action that hadn't been there previously. There was still tenderness, fondness, but there was a new feeling that roared to life as they came together again. It was sudden, intense, but neither of them would deny themselves the pleasure of seeking it out. His hands had moved from around her, shifting from encircling her figure completely to resting against it, feeling her waist beneath his fingers and her hair between them. Momoko had moved one of her hands from where it was bunched in his shirt to run over his collarbone and rest on the side of his neck, and her fingers burned paths across his skin.

It was a fever of sorts, the way they now moved. Their kisses had become hungry, craving more with each taste. A soft and airy sound bubbled in the back of Momoko's throat, something dangerously close to a moan, and Gaara could not resist the desire to move from her side to instead loom above her, his legs tangling between her own. She did not mind this new action, instead welcomed it with the way her lips eagerly found his again and her knee slid up to rest against his hip.

He was acutely aware of the fingers that had dipped underneath the collar of his shirt, feeling the skin there with a tenderness that took what little breath he had away. Her fingers burned against his skin with every caress and glide of her touch, and her lips felt just as hot still against his own. With Momoko having taken the liberty to slip her fingers underneath the fabric of his shirt, Gaara allowed himself something of equal desire. The hand that once rested against her waist began to trail down, his trembling fingers moving over her hip to rest on the outside of the leg that pressed itself against him. He stopped just where shorts ended and flesh began, and the feeling of his hand resting against her heated skin brought another soft sound from her.

Momoko couldn't think of anything else besides the way Gaara's body was pressed against her own, his lips pressed to hers with a fever and his fingers through her hair and on her thigh. He smelled like home and the taste of his tongue against her own nearly reminded her of honey. She had been kissed before, out of missing and sadness, hesitation and curiosity, but never with the spirit Gaara kissed her with now. Everything that she was or ever would be melted into him, into the lips that took hers and the fingers that now just barely slipped under the hem of her shorts. Their day be damned, she wanted nothing as much as she wanted more of this, more of _him_.

Gaara was nearly the same in his desperation to be closer. The few moments of staring at the sway of her hips or the dip of her dresses' necklines didn't rouse nearly as much of a feeling that being above her now did. She was returning his motions, eager to have him as he wanted her and the thought of it made Gaara nearly lose himself entirely. He had once thought of his feelings for her as a flame, flickering and gentle in his heart, but this was so unlike that. This was a fire deep in his belly, one that pulled at his very being and made him want nothing more than to have her in every way that he could. Like always, Momoko drew out feelings he had never felt before and parts of him he knew nothing of, but it was very clear to him now that he wanted her and wanted her _fiercely_.

They may have given in right then and there, suddenly and without any warning, had it not been for the knocking at their door.

"Room service!" A voice on the other side called, and Gaara reluctantly pulled himself from her to look to the door.

"Go." He nearly growled, his voice loud enough for the woman to hear and the tone of it sending a shiver down Momoko's spine as she tried to catch her breath.

There was no reply, simply the sound of a cart being pushed away, and the room fell silent again. Gaara looked back down to Momoko, his breath as short and heavy as hers, and he admired the sight of her flushed cheeks and the way her chest heaved with each labored inhale. She was staring up at him, her eyes wide and full of an emotion that nearly made him start all over again.

They remained silent, catching their breaths and just staring at each other with wide eyes. It seemed as though the renewed level of oxygen had cleared their minds a little, and both of their cheeks grew more pink with each moment that passed. Of course they had kissed before, even made out a couple of times, but this had been more than they were used to.

"I'm sorry," Gaara said quickly, moving away from her to stand from the bed, "I don't know what came over me."

"I-It's ok!" Momoko was fast to reassure him, sitting up as her ears grew hot, "I-I wasn't uncomfortable!"

"That's good," He replied, just as quick as before, the nervousness clear in his words.

He stood by the bed awkwardly and Momoko stayed staring down at the blankets. They had both caught their breaths by now, but now a thick silence hung in the air between them. It wasn't often that they felt this way in each other's company, but this was one of the rare times when they did.

It occurred to Momoko that this would probably be the best time to bring the topic up to him. Sakura had suggested doing so, and as embarrassing as it may be, the awkwardness between them now made Momoko realize that it would be necessary. She didn't want anything to be awkward or uncomfortable between them, especially not this.

"W-We should probably talk about...you know..."

Gaara's cheeks had the most color she had ever seen, and his eyes only briefly flickered up to her before turning to the ground again. He nodded slowly, quietly, before taking a seat on the unused bed. Momoko came to the edge of her bed and sat to face him, and it took a few more moments for her to gather the courage to start the conversation.

"Do you want...I mean, are you interested in sex?" Momoko just barely managed to get out, her ears and cheeks hot and her hands wringing the blanket that covered her.

He rested his elbows on his knees, lacing his fingers together so that he could hide his mouth behind them. Gaara still hadn't met her gaze, couldn't seem to bring himself to do so just yet.

"Are you?" He asked after a moment, and she barely caught the words at all due to how quiet they were.

It took her a second to collect herself, trying to get past the initial embarrassment of having to have the conversation and to her feelings on the topic. Truthfully, she _was_ interested in it and wouldn't mind pursuing it with him, but the nervousness of the situation made it difficult to portray those feelings. Though she had been in love before, she had never made it very far in the sexual aspects of it. There had been heavy kisses and affectionate petting, but never too much. With Naruto, the idea had never really crossed her mind.

But with Gaara, it had a couple times. It was a feeling she was unfamiliar with, to want someone like she wanted him. Their kisses recently had left her wondering what it would feel like to push a little further, touch a little more. The past few nights she had let her eyes wander down his exposed collarbone and the toned muscles of his arms. He wasn't an especially muscular individual, but there was a slender definition to his body and Momoko would be a liar if she said she hadn't noticed it.

Besides just satisfying physical desires, there was another feeling that the idea of sex with Gaara brought up. She had been in love before, had kissed before, had gone on a date. Momoko had experienced most of her important 'firsts' already, leaving little uncharted territory for Gaara to claim. A part of her wanted to give him this so that he could be her first in something, especially since it was something so important. Being the first of anything was always the most memorable and she wanted Gaara to have what was arguably one of the most important firsts. It would be something they could both experience together, some wonderful thing between them that couldn't be forgotten or disregarded. She wanted to be his in every way that she could, and it fueled the desire that was already inside of her.

"I am," Momoko answered truthfully after a moment, her eyes flickering up to see how her words would affect him.

She had expected him to grow more nervous, maybe turn away or keep staring at the ground. Instead, it seemed to relax him for some reason, like her words were reassuring. His eyes flickered from the ground to meet hers, and the look in them made her offer an encouraging smile. His mouth was still hidden behind his hands, but she could tell from his gaze that he wasn't as nervous as he had been.

Of course he had thought of her this way many times before, more times than he cared to admit. At first the thoughts had made him uncomfortable, like he was disrespecting her in some way by wanting her like this. The nights were he had woken with flushed skin and shortened breath had left him torn between wanting to acknowledge what she did to him or just disregard it entirely. But now that she had confirmed, however sheepishly, that she wanted him too, Gaara didn't feel nearly as perverted as he previously had.

"I am, too," He finally answered, and she now understood why he had been so relieved by her own confirmation.

There was silence again, but this one wasn't nearly as awkward as the previous. They were on the same page again, and it was reassuring. But there were still things left unsaid that needed to be addressed and Momoko spoke up again after a few moments.

"I've never done it before, by the way," She said, her eyes still not meeting Gaara's.

"You haven't?" He asked, and she could hear the light traces of confusion in his words. Her cheeks were still pink as she shook her head.

"Naruto and I never, I mean, it didn't really come up back then." Momoko replied, "I-I hope you don't mind."

The answer seemed to please him, because he let his hands drop from his mouth and there was a relieved little sigh escaped his lips. He had shared the similar desire to experience this new thing together, to want to be her first at _something_.

He knew that their relationship meant a lot to her, almost as much as it meant to him, but the thought had crossed his mind a few times that she had been through this before. Of course it was a different situation and she had different feelings about it, but she had danced this dance with someone else. He wasn't resentful of the fact, but it did sometimes sit a little heavily to know that she was not experiencing these things for the first time like he was. Maybe it was old-fashioned or a little odd to be glad that he would have her first, but Gaara couldn't help the small amount of pride her words brought. He would have her as no one else had before, and for that Gaara was grateful.

"Not at all," Gaara reassured her, "I've never done this either."

That brought a little smile to Momoko's lips, "Then I guess we'll both have some learning to do, huh?"

Gaara offered her a brief smile, and the both of them were relieved that some of the nervousness of the conversation had seemed to dwindle a bit. As embarrassing as the topic may be, communication was important, especially when it came to taking the next step in a relationship. The last thing they wanted was to misunderstand a situation and end up getting hurt in some way; as hard as this conversation was, they both knew they needed to have it.

It did bring a new sort of wonder to mind: how would it happen? Kankuro had painted a picture of feeding each other chocolates and vulgar words whispered in each other's ears, but none of that left like them. They had their moments of romance, sure, but they didn't often speak passionately or poetically. They were simple people, content to be together without all the frills and embellishments. Though he couldn't picture their first time together being anything like that, if that's what Momoko wanted then he would not deny her. It would feel silly but there was little he wouldn't do for her.

Would they plan out when they wanted it to happen? Though he was no expert on the topic, wouldn't it feel a little odd to schedule it right down to the minute? His brother had given him a book not too long ago about romance and sex; it was a little too erotic for Gaara's taste, but he couldn't deny the bit of curiosity it peaked. Every sexual encounter in the novel was unplanned, natural, 'heat of the moment'- would Momoko want it that way or to have it all planned out? It took him a moment to find the right words before Gaara spoke.

"Is there a certain way you want it to happen?" He asked, "Certain preparations you would want made?"

The thought of it brought a soft giggle from her lips, "You mean like candlelight and rose petals?"

Though the sound of her laughter put his nerves at ease, he could not help the soft color that came to his cheeks, "More or less."

She thought about it for a moment, if she had envisioned it any particular way. The idea of Gaara draped over satin sheets and a rose between his teeth nearly made her laugh. She was sure it would make him uncomfortable, and even more sure that it wasn't what she wanted at all. It would feel silly to name an exact time and place: what if they weren't in the right mood if the time came? Or something came in the way? The idea of having to reschedule sex was mortifying. 

Truthfully, she didn't have an exact idea of what she wanted. When she was younger she had thought about it like every other teen girl had: on her wedding night, candle light, a large luxurious bed. It had been the most romantic thing she could imagine, but now that she was older and had a better idea of what love really was, that didn't really appeal to her at all. The only thing she needed was Gaara, nothing else really seemed to matter

"I don't think we should try to plan it, maybe just...let it happen?" She said with a small smile, "I think we'll both know when its time."

Gaara nodded in return; the idea of letting it happen naturally sounded like the best option. Trying to force or schedule it wouldn't feel right. Like she said, they would know when it was time.

"This will be the first time for you too," Momoko spoke up again, "Is there anything in specific that _you_ want?"

"No," He answered with little thought and a shake of his head, "Being with you is enough."

The words made her smile, and they settled back into silence. Momoko shifted a little on the bed, her gaze dropping from him so she could think through whatever it was that ran through her head. Gaara watched her, the way her smile formed a little hesitance to it and how her hands had gone back to messing with the blanket draped over her lap. He stood from the bed and came to sit next to her, gently taking one of her hands into his own. He could tell she was anxious about the idea, and it'd be a lie if he said he wasn't either. But talking through it made the topic a little more comfortable and easier to handle, and with a new found confidence Gaara gave her hand a small squeeze.

"I'm nervous, too." He reassured her, and Momoko's eyes flickered up from the blanket to him.

He wasn't usually the one doing the comforting, but his warm hand in her own and his tender gaze made Momoko feel a little more at ease.

"I just don't want to disappoint you," She sighed softly.

"You could never," He said, and squeezed her hand once again, "We'll be fine, my dear."

The endearment instantly brought color to her cheeks, and Momoko couldn't help the silly little smile that spread on her lips. She leaned her head over onto his shoulder, and Gaara allowed his head to tilt and rest on top of hers.

"I know this wasn't the easiest conversation, but thank you for having it with me." She spoke and above her Gaara gave a light hum.

"Of course," He replied, his words light as though there had been no thought behind them at all.

Just like Sakura had said: when the time came, it would be perfect for the both of them.


	30. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter for you guys!! Thank you so much again for the comments on this chapter and your continued support!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and thanks so much for reading!!

Momoko was naming various places they could eat as they walked through the lobby of the inn arm in arm just two days after their talk. She usually liked some kind of sweet for breakfast, a pastry or bun of some kind, and Gaara agreed that a bakery would probably do just fine. As they passed through the front doors she had started to talk about a little place her parents had often gone to, but Gaara came to a stop just a few steps outside. His abrupt halt made her words trail off, and she almost asked what was wrong until she saw what had caught his eye.

Naruto was leaning against the outside of the inn, his arms behind his head as he leaned back and watched the clouds. The sound of her voice had drawn his attention, and his gaze was now turned to the two of them. They both noticed, with guilt settling in each of them, that he looked tired. He did not smile at the sight of them like he usually did and there were circles under his eyes as though he hadn't slept in days. It was odd to see him so somber without any kind of light to his eyes and that didn't change even at the sight of his two close friends. His gaze shifted to where their arms were linked together, and Momoko had half the mind to step away from Gaara because of it.

"Walk with me?" He asked as he turned his eyes to Gaara, and she felt him tense beside her. Nonetheless, he nodded to his friend before unlooping his arm from hers. Gaara looked down at her and she offered him a weak smile.

"I'll catch up with you later," He said, and she could only give a small nod in return before looking back to Naruto. He had looked away from the two of them and pushed himself off the wall, his back now turned. A part of her wished that he would just acknowledge her, reassure her in some small way that he didn't hate her entirely, but he didn't spare her another glance when Gaara took his side and the two men set off wherever it was that Naruto was leading them.

The walk was silent, and Gaara felt uncomfortable in his presence for the very first time. He had once ignored him, then hated him, and now adored him- but he had never felt quite like this near Naruto before. Vaguely, he compared this to when a child was scolded by an adult. Though he was no child and held more authority than the other, the guilt that had seemed to permanently settle inside of him made him feel small. Still, he did not show his hesitation or discomfort, not even when the buildings began sparse and then no more, and trees began to line their path.

This wasn't near where he and Momoko had been the other day, but he knew it was in the outer ring of the village. They didn't have to get very far into the forest before Gaara could hear running water, and soon the trees opened to a small clearing beside the Naka River. He recognized it instantly, the memory of seeing the picture for the first time making his heart heavy as Naruto sat down on the grass just a few feet away from the bank. Without a word, Gaara sat beside him, unable to completely calm the hammering of his heart.

They were quiet for a moment, the only sounds around them being the running water and the shifting of leaves in the breeze. He watched Naruto from the corner of his eye, how he looked down into the water with a gaze so dull he could have been dead. Gaara wanted to say something, anything that would bring just a little light back to him, but his mouth felt dry and words failed him. He couldn't imagine what his friend felt at this moment and the shame of his actions when they first arrived resurfaced. Momoko and he had talked about it but now that he was beside Naruto again, he didn't have the strength to sooth the guilt once again. So instead he sat in silence, focusing on the leaves and the water, before Naruto finally spoke.

"The last time she was home, she and I saw each other." Naruto said, and Gaara tensed at the sound of his voice.

"We talked a lot about us, about the future. I thought that we were on the same page, you know? Because she said 'maybe' we would end up together and I...I guess I took that as an 'absolutely'." He chuckled, the sound dry and humorless, "I've always known I was stupid, but I didn't realize I was _that_ stupid."

"Naruto-"

"Don't." He cut him off, "I saw the look in her eyes that day and I could feel how far away she was every time I kissed her, and I was still dumb enough to think that she was still as in love with me as I am with her. Momoko has been there my whole life, just waiting for me to come around and be with her, and I didn't think this time would be any different."

Gaara was silent, his body tense and his lips pressed into a thin line as he just sat and listened. He wasn't sure how to comfort him or what to say to ease his pain. He could hear the dread in each word, the hopelessness at the end of every sentence. Naruto had always been the one to comfort him, why couldn't he return the favor?

"The stupidest thing, though, was that I was going to ask her to move back home and marry me."

He almost felt nauseous. Gaara felt that familiar feeling of sorrow deep in his heart, but this time it wasn't an ache, it was pain. So much of it. He couldn't pinpoint what had caused it: his friend in so much agony, the thought of losing Momoko forever, the idea that she could move and come back to Konoha, back to someone else. As much as he wanted to comfort his friend now, the reality of their situation made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. All of these things suddenly swelled in his chest and lungs, it felt like he was going to drown under the weight of the insecurities that began to flood around him.

Gaara hadn't even thought of marrying her before. They had taken such small steps getting to where they were now that the idea of the future was a complete mystery to him. He had been so content being with her now, working on what they had and making it grow, that he had never really thought about their lives down the road. It felt too early to consider marriage, but he realized dreadfully that Naruto had years of her life that Gaara didn't. He and Momoko were still so new compared to her and Naruto.

He knew he couldn't compete with Naruto in any way. He was warm and sunny, loud and cheerful, kind beyond all reason and one of the strongest people Gaara knew. He was so much like her. They were perfect for each other, he thought miserably, they were two halves of the same whole. Even though she had told him the discomfort being with Naruto had brought, Gaara couldn't silence the voice that whispered in his ear that she would be better off with him. Surely she would realize that again, when Naruto asked her to come back to Konoha. She would realize how much better she was with him and not spare Gaara so much as a second glance. In all their time together, Gaara had never felt as insecure in their relationship as he did now. In the beginning he had felt unworthy of her because of his past, but she had forgiven him and reassured him of almost every fear he had. And he knew better than to doubt her now, to worry that she could be so easily swept away, but the more he dwelled on the idea the more the anxiety of it all nearly consumed him. He couldn't see past the idea of losing her entirely, let alone to someone else.

And he would let it happen. Because he owed Naruto his life and then some. Because he wanted so much more for Momoko that if being here with someone else made her happy, he would watch her go. If she decided that this life was what she wanted, in a place where her flowers grew freely and where someone as great as Naruto Uzumaki loved her, Gaara wouldn't think to stand in her way. He would cast aside every ounce of pain and sorrow, and he would let her go if that's what she so wanted. No matter how much it would hurt, how large a hole she would leave in his heart, Gaara would do whatever it took to see her happy, because he-

"Gaara," Naruto said, placing a hand on the other's shoulder. The blonde almost jumped, not expecting to feel the Kazekage tremble under his touch the way he did. "Hey, let me finish, okay?"

Gaara didn't say anything, his eyes turned to the ground as he clenched and unclenched the fabric of his pants in his hands. The sand in the small banks of the river in front of them had begun to shift a little too much.

"Listen," Naruto started again, turning his body so he could look right at his friend, "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I'm not hurt. Momoko's been the one person in my life that I thought would always be there, no matter what happened. Realizing that I've lost her was..." He trained off for a moment, trying to find the words, "One of the hardest things I've had to come to terms with in a while. It hurt so much at first, and it probably always will, but then I remembered that my feelings aren't the only ones that matter. There's Momoko, and now there's you, too."

Naruto smiled at him; it was small and weak, but a smile nonetheless. The more he spoke, the more he began to look like himself again.

"You should see the way she smiles around you! And the way she watches you when you talk. God-" His laugh was bittersweet and Gaara could see the way his eyes found their light again, as well as a few tears, "-I've spent so long wanting her to look at me like that again, but thats how she looks at _you_ , right _now_."

"Naruto-" Gaara said, his breath shaky, "I-I don't-"

"Gaara," Naruto interrupted, the hand on his shoulder giving a light squeeze, "You've spent so much of your life alone and unloved, and you've gone through more than anyone ever should. You know I know how you feel, so you can trust me when I say that Momoko may be the only person in the world who can heal the parts of you that I couldn't."

It took him a moment to understand his words, but soon the sand died down and the trembling of his shoulders stopped. He fell silent, his blank gaze still on the ground, before his brow started to slowly knot. Gaara didn't realize he was breathing so erratically until it started to straighten out. But he tried to get himself under control, tried to understand Naruto's words as he turned to look at the blonde.

Naruto smiled again, wider and warmer, but the tears in his bright eyes started to fall.

"She helped me when I needed her, but you're the one who needs her now. You don't have to worry about me or whatever Momoko and I were. I understand now that she and I were never meant to end up together, because it's _you_. It's always been you."

He was grinning now, wide and as blinding as ever, and the tears dripped from his chin to the soft grass beneath them. Naruto took Gaara's hands into his own and held them tightly, and Gaara watched him with wide eyes.

"She and I had our time, but you're the one she was meant for. You're both so kind and so sincere, and it's obvious how much you care about her. In all the years you've changed, I've never seen you so content with life like you are now. You're finally who you're meant to be, Gaara, and it's because of her."

The words almost took his breath away. He watched the way Naruto grinned at him, his eyes so bright and happy yet filled with tears. Gaara didn't understand it; was he allowed to feel the warmth in his heart that those words brought? Was he allowed to feel so light at the very thought that he was the one who was meant to have her? Here Naruto sat with tears in his eyes over the love he had lost, so was it wrong that Gaara's heart beat so loud for the implication of his words?

Naruto let go of his hands to wipe at his eyes. He then looked back to Gaara, the sadness that had come over him now completely gone. Instead, there was that bright, hopeful grin he was known for. It was so genuine, and so Naruto, that the Kazekage actually believed that maybe he really did want this for them.

"I've only ever wanted both of you to be happy, and you've found that happiness within each other. You've got my blessing, Gaara. I wish you two the very best!"

The first feeling he recognized was relief. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders, like he could finally breathe again after the drowning that was this conversation. He wanted to doubt Naruto's sincerity, but the kindness of his words and that signature grin melted all of those worries away. Naruto didn't hate him for this, didn't turn him away like he feared. Instead he held his hands tightly, his words full of every bright promise the world could offer. His words were honest and the tears that had once looked so sad now seemed happy, like he was glad that two important people in his life were finally getting the love they deserved. Even now in the aftermath of his pain, Naruto wanted nothing more than for them to be happy.

"Thank you, Naruto," Gaara breathed, "For everything you've done for me, for us."

"Ahh, don't worry about it!" Naruto snickered, the last few traces of discomfort finally leaving them, "Just don't break her heart, then we'll have a problem!" He joked, and a small smile came to the Kazekage's lips.

"I won't," He said with all his confidence in his words. And he meant it.

When they reached the inn, Momoko was standing in the same spot where Naruto had been with a paper bag in her hands. She was staring to the ground, her brow knotted and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. They were nearly to her when she looked up, and the sight of Naruto's bright smile and Gaara's smaller one seemed to make the tension melt from her shoulders. The two men came to a stop in front of her, and she looked between the two of them before lifting the bag in her hands.

"I bought pastries," She offered, her voice small and a little unsure, "I thought we could all have breakfast together, if you wanted." Her words were more directed to Naruto, who's smile had now become a little softer.

"Breakfast sounds great!" He replied, and it made Momoko smile that beautiful smile that had captivated the two men in the first place.

They spent the morning talking, laughing, making up for the years and months they missed. Momoko never really realized how much she needed this until they were both right across from her, Gaara with his little smile and Naruto with his booming laughter. Despite everything, Naruto was still important to her, and she wanted the three of them to get along well so that she could keep both of their lights in her life. They stood for everything she had been and everything she would be, and Momoko's heart was the fullest it had been for a very long time as the three of them talked about everything and nothing. With this part of her life finally resolved, Momoko realized that morning that she was completely and entirely happy.

They eventually parted ways from the blonde shinobi when the afternoon finally began, and Naruto stopped to look back at the two of them as they walked away. Gaara had taken her hand into his, and he had stared at the way the action had brought color to her cheeks and made her smile widen to a grin. He watched until they rounded a corner and were gone from his sight before he let his smile drop.

Naruto stood there for a moment longer, until his vision was blurred with tears and his cheeks were wet with them, before he finally let a sob tear from his lips.


	31. I Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Strong Sexual Content**
> 
> Here it is folks!! I’ve been really excited about publishing this chapter for a couple weeks now!! I hope you guys enjoy it!! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and I hope to hear your feedback!

At first she had thought nothing of the way he acted. Gaara was usually quiet and collected, a man of little words even around her. He had been fine the rest of the day after they shared breakfast with Naruto, and she had thought that the good mood would stay for a while, but she had been wrong. The more days that passed, the more that pleasantness had begun to fade for a reason that Momoko didn't quite understand. Gaara seemed to have less and less to say these past few days and his mind seemed to wander more than usual. To anyone else, it was his normal personality and demeanor but she knew better. Even Momoko, with her happy chatter and soft kisses, couldn't seem to pull him out of the funk he had somehow slipped into.

Sometimes he would just stare at her, not as tender as usual and a little more conflicted than she was used to. It always looked like he was torn between thoughts, like every word she said needed great contemplation. He said little and showed even less, but she saw how the look in his eye would grow distant when she smiled and how sometimes his arm would stiffen just slightly in her own. Sometimes it looked like he had come to a conclusion of sorts but then immediately dismissed it and slipped back into indecisive silence. His brow would knot and his lips would pull into a small frown, and she couldn't for the life of her understand this sudden melancholy.

She had tried to talk about it one night, just three days before they were supposed to return to Suna, but Gaara had only murmured that it was nothing and turned his eyes back to the window. He still offered her his arm when they walked, returned her kisses, and stayed by her side while she slept, but there was a distance now that she didn't understand. She had thought that resolving things with Naruto would maybe even bring them closer, but somehow it had managed to push them apart. Gaara stared out the window a little longer, talked less and seemed to think more. Momoko didn't want to force an explanation out of him but even in her infinite patience, she was beginning to worry.

Sakura had been equally as stumped when Momoko explained it to her. Though the pink-haired girl had never been in a relationship before and was rather glad that they had worked things out with Naruto, even she couldn't explain the silence that now seemed to loom over the couple. They had thought of everything: maybe he would miss Konoha when they left? Maybe he missed home now? Maybe this was just a mood that he would soon be pulled out of? No matter how many explanations they thought of, nothing seemed to click for Momoko. She nearly felt entirely defeated as the days went on and their trip drew closer to an end. The only piece of advice that Sakura could give her was to confront him about it and not take no for an answer. As nonconfrontational as Momoko was, she was at her wits end and decided that maybe it really was time for her to put her foot down. Afterall, these last few days had felt wasted because of this silence between them and she was desperate to figure out the cause of it.

The night before they were supposed to leave, Momoko stood in front of the bathroom mirror and tried to find her courage. She usually wasn't so nervous talking to Gaara about things, but having been dismissed once before made her a little hesitant to bring it up again. It was all so odd: the silence, the distance, being borderline ignored. He was usually such an attentive partner and she had adored it, but these last few days had felt so strange. He wasn't unkind or rude in any way, but Momoko knew that his mind was a million miles away for some reason. Neither she nor Sakura could figure it out and even as she stood in the mirror she couldn't come up with a good reason. Momoko was stumped, a little hurt, and exhausted from the emotional roller coaster that had been these last few days. As much as she hated to impose on his thoughts, the discomfort between them had reached its peak.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Gaara was dressed in his pajamas and sitting in the circular window of their hotel room. The light had already been turned off, the only illumination coming from the full moon that loomed over the clear night outside. It would have been a perfect night to spend laying in bed and just talking about anything that came to mind, but Momoko knew that wasn't an option right now. Something was on Gaara's mind, and she'd be damned if she didn't find out what.

Momoko came to lean against the wall beside the window, a change from when she would usually slip right into bed after getting into her pajamas. But tonight was different, because tonight she wouldn't take no for an answer. She sighed, looking up to the moon that lingered in the starry sky and tried to find the words to say.

"Can we talk about it?" She asked softly, letting her gaze drop to Gaara, "Please?"

His eyes didn't even flicker to her, but Momoko hoped he still saw the frown on her lips.

"About what?" He asked, his words feigning innocence but his tone giving away his awareness.

"I don't know," She sighed, "Whatever is wrong with you. Whatever's been on your mind these past few days."

Gaara didn't say anything in return, didn't really acknowledge her anymore than a small frown that came to his lips as he continued to think whatever thoughts raced through his mind. They sat in silence for a little longer, and Momoko was sure that it was meant to dismiss her but she was too determined to let it phase her.

"Gaara." Momoko spoke again, her words more stern than he had ever heard them, "Talk to me."

He seemed to contemplate something, roll a few thoughts over in his mind before he reluctantly acknowledged her. Gaara's eyes turned from the bright moon to her, to the frown on her lips and the way she hugged herself as she leaned against the wall. He couldn't help but notice that despite her tone, Momoko looked so small in this moment. The Kazekage looked at her, _really_ looked at her for the first time in days, and Momoko could tell that words were hanging on the tip of his tongue.

"Please."

Gaara searched her eyes for a moment more, tried to find it in himself to deny her again, but finally let a sigh slip past his lips. His gaze grew a little gloomier, a little duller, and he stared at her in a way he never really had before. For a brief second, Momoko thought he looked a little sad. She couldn't at all understand what brought on this new desolate expression but she waited silently, almost impatiently, as Gaara spoke.

"Naruto was going to ask you to marry him," He finally admitted, a heaviness to his words, "Before he knew about you and I."

There were a few things that ran through her mind right then: how irrational the idea was, how annoyed she felt that Naruto obviously hadn't listened to her that day in the field, lingering guilt over the realization that she had probably led him on in that way. If anyone had told her this a year ago, she would have been thrilled to the point of tears. What she wouldn't have given to be with him forever, to wear his ring and call him home. But now that things had changed, that her love for him had dwindled and someone else now held her heart, the words she had waited her whole life to hear didn't sound nearly as sweet as she always thought they would. They sounded heavy, full of dread and uncertainty, and Momoko was torn between pondering Naruto's thought process and deciphering Gaara's feelings.

The melancholy from the last few days had settled back over the both of them. It made a little more sense now, why Gaara had been so dreary. He must have just been so relieved to be in Naruto's good graces again that he hadn't really processed the things that he had said. She could understand that, a little, but it still didn't entirely make up for these last few uncomfortable days.

"I'm sorry, Gaara." She consoled, "I had no idea."

"I know you didn't," He sighed, "But hearing him say it made me feel...inadequate."

"Inadequate?" Momoko repeated, her head tilting against the wall, "How so?"

He fell silent again, his lips pursing together as he stared down to where his hands rested in his lap. There seemed to be more thoughts turning over in his head, more sentences to think through and words to process. Whatever it was that had loomed over his mind these past few days must have been important, because it took what felt like forever for him to find the right words to say.

"It's never crossed my mind to marry you." He explained quietly, "I've always thought of you as you are now, not who you would be in ten years, or even five. I've never even thought of a future with you, a life with you, because I...I don't know if I can." 

Momoko couldn't help the weight that sat in her heart as he spoke, or the tears that came to her eyes at his words. She couldn't tell if it hurt, or ached, or both. She knew he didn't have any malice behind it, but it was still hard to hear.

"I'm not like Naruto." Gaara continued despite the way his mouth had gone dry, "I'm not blessed with a sunny disposition or friendly manners. I don't know how to make new friends and I'm not very good at keeping contact with old ones. It's difficult for me to know what you feel sometimes, and even more difficult to understand why you feel it. Emotions don't come as easily to me as they should and I'm not- I'm not good at expressing them. I have come so far, I know that, but I...I can't promise you any progress beyond this."

"I don't want you to miss out on anything in life, especially not because of me. I won't pull you into rivers or hold your hand in public or constantly seek out the company of your friends. You may never hear me laugh or see me cry. You have to understand that I have limitations, that there are just-just certain things I _can't_ give to you."

His voice was weak like it may break at any moment, but there was no trace of tears and his words were steady. Despite this, his hands trembled in his lap and his eyes had closed with a furrowed brow as he tried to collect himself. It was the most emotion Momoko had ever seen or heard from him, and she regretted that it was such sadness.

So that's what it had been this whole time: doubt, uncertainty, hopelessness. Gaara felt like he had already lost her before even having this talk, like he had already decided for her that once he explained what worried him she would suddenly realize that he wasn't what she wanted after all. Naruto had been so bright and so wonderful; Gaara felt that he was the opposite of all of that. His talk with Naruto had only confirmed these thoughts that Momoko was far too good for him. It made sense now, the melancholy and why he had seemed so distant. Gaara had spent these last few days preparing himself for this, for _letting her go._

"You deserve _so much more_ than uncertainty, Momoko. If I could change for you, I would, but I...I don't know if I can, no matter how hard I try. I don't expect you to stay with me on the chance that I change, so if this isn't what you want anymore, I understand." 

Momoko started, wide-eyed and breathless as the tears that had welled in her eyes had begun to fall. For the first time in all the months they had known each other, Gaara was finally expressing what was on his mind without filter or hesitation- and it _hurt_. It hurt to think he doubted her devotion to him, to what they were, but what hurt more than that was the idea that he doubted himself. Didn't he know what he meant to her? Didn't he know that she...she...

"I love you, Gaara." She finally breathed, quick and all at once, "And not in the way I love my friends, or my flowers, or my life. I'm _in love_ with you. I'm in love with everything you are and everything you're not. I don't care that you're still learning how to feel, I don't care if I never hear you laugh or see you cry. I don't even care if you never say it back. I love- _I love_ \- I love you."

He stood from the window, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape as he watched the way the tears that streamed down her face glittered in the moonlight. There was a weight to his heart that this confession brought, one that took his breath away and left him without words, without thoughts other than _'I love you, Gaara'._

Gaara knew what he felt for her, could feel it with each breath in his lungs and each beat of his heart. He had never felt this way about anyone before, had never thought he would be able to, and he knew with all certainty that he would never feel this way again for anyone else. He wanted to tell her that, to return her words but they were caught in his throat. He had just said so much to her already tonight, why couldn't he manage just _three more words_? If he wasn't so overwhelmed with the happiness of her confession, he would have been frustrated with himself all over again. But he couldn't find it in himself to feel any sort of negativity or shortcoming in this moment, this incredibly important staple of his life. 

His heart was beating so loud in his ears, he couldn't hear much else. Gaara didn't know what to do just yet, instead he stood and stared and tried to calm his now trembling hands. He was used to a lack of emotion, of understanding; he wasn't used to the abundance of them and such clarity. He felt the same way, he always had and he always will. He couldn't get the words out just yet, but he didn't have to use words now. She stared right back, not bothering to wipe the tears away as they fell, and watched as he made his way to her, took her face in his hands, and kissed her with a passion he never had before.

No words were exchanged when they pulled apart and they wasted little time in coming back together again. One of them, or maybe both, guided them until Momoko landed on her back on the unused bed and Gaara hovered above her. His breath was hot against her neck as he trailed his lips down and her fingers blazed trails as they skimmed across his skin. Hands fumbled with fabric, pulling and tugging and tangling.

Despite the passion that came with this first time, there was still the hesitation and unskilled motions of two people who had never done this before. The beginning had been fumbling and awkward, but they were too enraptured with each other to really care. Gaara accidentally tugged at her hair when he placed his hand on the space next to her head and Momoko may have bit his lip a little too hard. Both of their cheeks were flushed and pink, her's more than his, and there were moments she wanted to bury her face in her hands so he couldn't see the blush that darkened her face all the way to her ears. They had to stop for a moment and wait a little awkwardly as Gaara removed the entirety of his sand armor, but they came back together again with ease. Sometimes their teeth clinked together when they kissed a little too hard and it made Momoko giggle and Gaara smile against her skin. 

Momoko's hands slipped under the fabric of his shirt and Gaara could only nod with wide eyes when she shyly asked if she could take it off entirely. She sat up in bed and he couldn't help the pride that swelled in his chest as she eagerly ran her eyes over each inch of his torso that was exposed to her. He had shuttered under the feel of her trembling fingers lightly resting over his bare skin, and Gaara watched with barely contained affection as she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his heart.

_I love you._

She allowed him to return the favor, his hands shaking as he grabbed at the hem of her shirt. Momoko trailed her kisses up his neck, an action meant to sooth and reassure him despite how nervous she felt as well. Slowly, almost too much, he lifted the shirt from her body and she raised her arms so that he could lift it up and over her head. The sight of freckled skin and the subtle swell of her breasts made Gaara's mouth go dry and she looked away with a bashful little smile.

_I love you._

Their touches roamed this new territory, feeling and caressing the places they never had before. Gaara couldn't pull his eyes off of her, especially as she laid back and pulled him over her again. She was patient as she showed him how to touch her, how to pinch just right or where to put his lips. Gaara took it all in stride, listening and doing his very best to draw more of the melodic sighs and gasps that left her lips. Gaara wasn't sure how he himself wanted to be touched, and Momoko was all too eager to help him find out. She listened to every sharp intake of breath and shaky grunt that escaped him and basked in the sounds. He imagined this is what being drunk was like: his heart was racing, his skin was flushed, and he couldn't get enough of what was intoxicating him in the first place.

There were little words between them after fumbling hands had pulled the last of their clothes away and they were left bare before each other's eyes, their breaths short and skin hot and hearts nearly bursting. He pulled away from their kiss and sat back on his knees, taking a moment to simply just stare and catch his breath.

_I love you._

She was everything he wanted her to be. Gaara let his hands run over her sides, admiring the way her body curved and dipped under his touch. Her breasts weren't large but they weren't completely flat either; they were pleasantly full and fit nicely in his cupped hands. Her curves had filled out more beautifully than he could realize underneath her pretty dresses and flowing skirts. Her hips were full and her stomach and thighs carried most of the weight she had gained in the last 8 months, and Gaara couldn't help but love every inch of her figure. She wasn't toned and built like a kunoichi, instead her body held the softness of a comfortable life. Her skin was unscarred from years of combat, no warped flesh or hollowed parts. There were parts of her that hadn't been exposed to Suna's sun that were still pale and without freckles, and he took a strange liking to the tanlines. His hands grazed her hips, and his eyes dropped past the stretchmarks on her lower stomach and top of her thighs until he found the delicate blonde curls between her legs.

Momoko took the time to also memorize the view that it felt like she had waited forever to see. The few nights of bare arms and exposed collarbones didn't do justice to the sight of him now. She had noticed earlier when he stood to remove his pants that he had small dimples in his lower back, and now that he was completely bare before her Momoko could see a few other interesting features. He had no freckles or moles, no stretch marks or tan lines like she did, but there was a little spot that had caught her interest. There was a birthmark that sat on the very top of his hip near his pelvis, light and hardly bigger than a coin, but a stark contrast against his pale skin. His body was toned from years of training and combat, but there weren't any scars like she had thought there may be. It must have been from the sand that had protected him his whole life, but his skin was unmarked by battle. It was smooth, beautiful in the moonlight that poured in from the window and Momoko couldn't help but say it again.

_I love you._

When he finally took her, they both paused and simply held each other for a moment. Momoko clung tightly to him, her arms around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. His breath came in harsh pants against her neck as he held her in his arms, careful not to shift in any way that would hurt her. It didn't hurt at all, but there was a slight discomfort that came with being penetrated for the first time. But it didn't last long, and soon she pressed a kiss to his temple and whispered a soft ' _Please_ ' into his ear.

_I love you._

He stared slow, hesitant, gentle. Just barely a shifting of his hips before she let out a little gasp. Gaara repeated the action, drawing away from her just slightly before pressing back in, and this new sensation made Momoko whimper against his ear.

_I love you._

They found a pleasant rhythm, one that brought moans from her lips and groans from his. Her arms pulled him closer and they were pressed together on top of the cotton sheets.

_I love you._

Gaara felt nails digging into his shoulder and the feel of it made him suck in a sharp breath through his teeth and snap his hips forward a little harder than he had before. The cry that tore from Momoko's lips was music to his ears.

_I love you._

The more they got used to this rhythm, the more the hesitation and nerves melted back to passion, raw need for each other. Momoko's cries grew a little louder, her hips shifting to meet his with more enthusiasm and her nails digging crescents into his back.

_I love you._

One of his hands had reached out to grab the headboard, seeking some sort of stability in the midst of their frantic movements, and he held so tight that the wood cracked under his grip.

_I love you._

Her thighs had started to tremble and his jaw clenched tight. 

_I love you._

She said in his ear with each thrust, louder and more desperate each time. And each time brought them closer and closer to the peak of their desire.

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you!_

When the world came back to them, when their need had been satisfied for the time being and their bodies were well spent, Gaara let himself collapse completely on top of her and Momoko held him tight. Their skin was sticky with sweat and the air was thick with the scent and heat of sex, but neither of them could care any less. All that mattered was the hammering of their hearts against their chests and the knowledge that they belonged to each other in every way they could. They lay there in silence for a while, no words coming to mind because no words were needed. Momoko let out a soft, tired giggle as he moved to the side of her, pulled her flush against him again, and pressed lazy kisses to her neck. It wasn't long before the sweet touches pulled sleep over her like a blanket.

Gaara lay with her in his arms, his ear pressed to her chest and listened contently to her soft breathing. He listened to her heart, how it beat like the world's most wonderful metronome and couldn't help the absolute joy that came over him in knowing that it belonged to him and him alone. 

For the first time in his life he felt completely and entirely whole, like every crack in his heart had been filled by the words of love she spoke to him. He had spent his entire existence wanting this, _needing_ this reassurance that he was worth it, that he was allowed the happiness that being loved brought. Being with her now made him realize that he couldn't be without her no matter how much he thought she deserved. He would be what she deserved, _make himself_ what she deserved.

With her deep in sleep and no one but the moon and the stars as his witness, Gaara allowed himself to whisper softly against her skin.

_I love you._


	32. Differences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so the comments left on the last chapters! I appreciate the feedback! 
> 
> Also!!! 100k words and nearly 3k hits!! Wowza!!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and once again, thank you so much for readying!!

They collected the flowers from the Yamanaka's, the family loaning them a second wagon for all of the beautiful blooms. Ino was sad to see her go, as she always was, but glad that she had come at all. They stayed a little while, helping load supplies and talking to the family as they did so. After the wagons had been loaded, the couple finally said their goodbyes and then made their way to the gates where Sakura and Naruto stood.

"Good morning!" Sakura chirped up and Momoko offered her a bright smile, "Took you two long enough!"

She didn't comment on the way _both_ of their hair was still a little wet, or the glow that they had, but she didn't need to. Sakura gave Momoko a knowing smile, and the girl could only blush with a little grin of her own.

"Next time, you two are gonna stay longer!" Naruto said, putting a hand on Gaara's shoulder as the redhead offered him a small smile.

"It's been nearly two weeks," Gaara commented, and Naruto just grinned.

"A month, then!" He replied, and Momoko couldn't help but giggle.

"I hate to say it, but I agree!" Sakura added beside him, "Two weeks isn't nearly enough!"

"No time will ever be enough for you two!" Momoko laughed, "It's been a lot of fun, but I think we're both ready to go home."

Beside her Gaara nodded and she turned her smile to him. The wagons were loaded and their bags were over their shoulders, all that they really needed now was to say goodbye. Sakura stepped forward and hugged her just as tightly as she always did when they parted, and Momoko didn't hesitate to do the same.

"Please be safe out there," Sakura said into her shoulder, "And send us a message as soon as you've gotten home."

A little startled by the suddenly serious words, Momoko pulled away to give her a quizzical look. Just before she could ask, Naruto spoke up. 

"There's been some trouble on the road between here and Suna," He said with a frown.

"What kind of trouble?" Gaara asked, and Momoko could tell from the slight shift of his tone how he tensed.

"Just a couple of rogue shinobi," Naurto replied, "They never hurt anyone, but they've been spotted by travelers these past couple days. It's nothing you can't handle, though. Those guys will probably take one look at you and go running!"

Despite how confident Naruto was in his ability, Gaara didn't relax in the slightest. He knew he could handle whatever was out there, it was exposing Momoko to battle that he didn't care for. If anything went wrong, if anything happened to her, Gaara wasn't sure what he would do.

"Still, it's important that you stay safe, both of you." Sakura added, andMomoko nodded in return.

"Don't worry, we will." Momoko reassured her, despite the nervousness this news brought. She had never really seen combat before, just glimpses of training and a couple hand signs.

"You better!" She replied, before turning her attention to Gaara, "If anything happens to her, I'm coming after _you_ , mister!"

Momoko giggled as Gaara nodded mutely, a little wide-eyed from the sudden scolding. Beside her, Naruto nodded in agreement. It made her smile; even after all this time and the distance between them, Team 7 was as protective of her now as they always were. It almost made her wish they could stay a little longer, but she knew Suna needed him and the flowers needed her.

"We should probably get going," She said, and peeked back into the wagons, "The wedding is in four days and it takes three to get there; the sooner we can get home, the better."

Once again, Sakura hugged her tightly and Naruto took all three of them into his arms. Its made the girls laugh and Gaara even cracked a small smile at being in the embrace of friends. The most important people in her life were right here, holding her close and smiling all the while. She really was lucky to have such a wonderful life.

"I'm gonna miss you guys," She said as they pulled away, "You know you're allowed to come to Suna, right?"

"You're welcome any time." Gaara added.

"Yeah, maybe!" Naruto said and beside him Sakura nodded.

They said their goodbyes, the girls shedding their tears just as they always did when it came time to depart. The two leaf shinobi stayed at the gates, and Momoko kept glancing back until both them and the gates were out of sight. Once it was just her and Gaara again, he placed a hand on the small of her back.

"Stay close to me," He said, and Momoko could tell he was more on edge this time around than usual.

"I will!" She nodded, already shifting to walk just a little closer at his side, "Who do you think these guys are?"

"Usually missing-nin are criminals, or traitors to their villages."

Momoko frowned, her eyes trailing from him to the ground in front of them as they walked. It was strange to think that anyone who was raised in the shinobi lifestyle would come to resent their village in any way. Shinobi were usually some of the most patriotic people she knew, she couldn't imagine what it must have taken for them to turn their backs on their home. Despite possibly being criminals, Momoko couldn't help but pity those shinobi. They probably traveled a lot, no definite place to call home anymore and likely no one they loved anymore. Even if they were 'bad guys', they were still people.

She had never understood that part of shinobi: the lack of regard for life. They killed with little thought and hardly any justice, like it was nothing more than squishing a bug under their shoes. The enemy wasn't a person to them, they were just an obstacle. Momoko couldn't imagine taking someone's life and still being able to live her own.

"Gaara?" She asked, and he looked at her, "If someone does attack us, what will you do?"

He seemed a little confused at her words, his brow furrowing just slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Would you...Would you kill them?"

"If they try to hurt you, I would."

He didn't understand the way she frowned and looked away again. 

"Does that displease you?" He asked, and watched how she began to fiddle with the straps of her backpack. She nodded without a word, "Why?"

Momoko fell quiet, her eyes still down and her fingers fumbling away. They walked in silence for a moment until she finally found the words.

"I know it's silly, especially with how the world is, but...I don't think anyone deserves to die." She said quietly.

"Not even someone who's trying to kill you?" Gaara asked with a frown which only deepened as she shook her head. 

"I just don't think it's right. No matter what that person has done or what they're doing now, I don't think any crime could be worth such a punishment." 

It was Gaara's turn to fall quiet, and he seemed to mull over her words. Though he wasn't entirely surprised about her logic, given that she was not a shinobi herself and naturally such a gentle soul, it was still a little strange to hear anyone value life as much as she seemed to. He himself had killed before, for worse reasons than just defense. That was part of the job, part of his responsibilities. Of course he valued life, but even he had his conditions.

"I know it's probably unreasonable, but if anyone does try to hurt me...please, don't kill them."

The words pulled Gaara out of his thoughts and he stopped walking. Momoko did too, looking back at him with a little frown.

"That is unreasonable." He confirmed, his own frown giving way to something more stern.

"Gaara-"

"I try not to deny you anything, but I must deny you this." Gaara said, more firm than the last time he talked, "If someone hurts you, Momoko, I won't hold back. Any shinobi cruel enough to attack a civilian doesn't deserve kindness."

" _Everyone_ deserves kindness!" She replied, her voice raising a little as she did so, "It doesn't matter what they've done, nobody deserves to die!"

"Some people do." He argued, "It's easy for you to think the best of people when you haven't seen the worst. There are monsters in this world, no matter how much you wish it isn't so."

"Are you a monster, then?" She asked, and the words startled him.

"Excuse me?"

"You've killed people before, and you say you'll kill people again." Momoko argued, "What makes you any different from the criminals and the traitors?" 

"Because I've changed-"

"Exactly!" She cut him off, her words more passionate now, "You _changed_ , and they can too! Love changed you, Gaara, why wouldn't it change them too?"

Though he could see her point, he still didn't agree with it.

"Not everyone is redeemable," He stated, and she shook her head at his words, "Especially not if they hurt you."

The words didn't please her at all, instead she almost looked angry.

She didn't know why she was getting so upset over this conversation, she just was. It was strange of Gaara to be cruel like this, even stranger for her to consider him so. Surely he had some value for life, didn't he? Having been someone who was redeemed himself, she didn't like that he was so quick do determined that others couldn't do the same. There was no such thing as a bad person, she believed that through and through.

His deciding factor in this argument seemed to be whether they posed a threat to her or not, and it didn't sit well with her. So what if she was hurt or someone disliked her? She would rather endure any pain or beatings if it meant someone's life would be spared. Nothing anyone could ever do to her would justify their death, especially when she so adamantly argued against it. Everyone deserved to live in her eyes, even the people that hurt her. It wasn't her place to decide who lived or died, and it certainly wasn't his.

"If you kill for me, Gaara, I'll never forgive you."

He stared at the way her brows had furrowed and her hands clenched so tight at the straps of her bag that her knuckles turned white. She had only spoken like this to him once or twice before, but never with this much intensity. He could tell she was upset, maybe even genuinely mad, but he wasn't going to back down from his point.

Though he wanted to honor her point, maybe even agree with it, Gaara couldn't bring himself to do so. He knew how cruel people could be, had seen it with his own eyes and witnessed it himself. The idea of Momoko being subjected to any of it made his stomach turn; he'd be damned if anyone got close enough to hurt her. The very thought of anything happening to her had his blood running a little cooler- there was no way he could come face to face with some one that had hurt her and not do something about it.

This would just have to be something they disagree on.

"I would rather you be angry then dead." He said simply.

Momoko turned on her heel and kept walking, and Gaara followed without another word.

When night fell she still hadn't regained her cool, and it would be a lie to say Gaara wasn't a little cross with her as well. They had never gotten into an argument like that before, where she had raised her voice and Gaara had been tempted to do the same. He wasn't mad at her, per say, but he was a little flustered that she was being so stubborn on the point. It wasn't even an important topic; Gaara would nlet anything happen to her and Momoko would never see him in combat.

She just didn't understand the world the way he did. Gaara had seen horrors beyond words and enough blood to fill oceans, Momoko had only ever seen her flowers. It was the first time since they met that they could feel this divide between them. She had never really paid much attention to how different their beliefs or lifestyles were, and though it didn't change her love for him at all, it was still hard to come to terms with. As gentle and kind as Gaara was to her, it was hard to believe that he could be so cruel about the topic, even _argue_ with her about it. She didn't think valuing human life was even something to be debated.

Momoko lay in her sleeping bag just as she had all those nights ago when they were first coming to Konoha, and Gaara was right at her side. They didn't speak, hardly acknowledged each other beyond quick glances and small hand gestures. It wasn't exactly tense between the two of them anymore, more so now just a mutual understanding that they needed some time to collect themselves again before talking. Being angry with each other would only lead to hurt feelings, and a bruised ego was better than that any day. So they settled for silence, empty and stale, and made do with that.

She only spoke when she turned her back to him to fall asleep, muttering a stubborn, "Goodnight. I love you."

When she had finally fallen asleep, Gaara let himself lean a little more against the tree behind him. He was more tired than usual, from both their romping the night before and in the shower this morning. Though it wasn't entirely distracting, he knew that he couldn't risk not sleeping tonight and being less alert in the morning. Once he was sure that she was completely asleep, Gaara let his sand seep out of his gourd and form a protective shell around her sleeping form. He waited a moment in case it woke her, but when no movement came Gaara crossed his arms across his chest and closed his eyes- only to open them a moment later at the sound of something rustling in the forest around them. 

He was to his feet in a flash, his eyes scanning the thick brush. There was no light, no more movement, but he could vaguely sense a nearby chakra source. Gaara looked back at the shell and when he felt tendrils of sand brush against him on their own, he spoke.

"Protect her." 

The sand darted out and swirled around the shell, circling it in a protective barrier. Gaara turned his attention back to the forest before taking off after the chakra signal.

It wasn't moving or very active, but he could still feel it as he jumped through the trees. He strained his ears to try and hear anything, any breath or shifting that signaled the presence of another person, but the forest was silent. Still, he wouldn't risk it. Animals didn't leave chakra signals, so it must have been a person- and whoever it was, they had gotten far too close for his liking.

A sudden rustling caught his attention, and Gaara stopped on a branch to listen again. The chakra signal he had been following had vanished, but there was still shifting that didn't sound like any harmless animal, especially not when a new chakra met his senses as well. He debated for a moment between going after where the chakra had been or towards the new one. It was odd, for the trail to just vanish and a different one to pop up, but he didn't dwell on it too much longer before he changed direction and headed towards the source of the new one.

He must have covered half of the forest with how quickly he was moving. If they went much further Gaara would have to turn back. The sooner he could take care of this burden, the sooner he could get back to Momoko. Luckily, he didn't have to run too much longer before he came to a stop in front of a small clearing. Gaara jumped from the branch and to the ground, his eyes scanning the area. There was no one, no traces of chakra or any more noises. It was odd, and he didn't care for it in the slightest. Whoever it was was long gone by now, leaving no trace of chakra or clues behind. Gaara only stayed there for a few moments longer, just in case he felt them again or anything else caught his attention, but the world had fallen silent. A little reluctantly, but ready to get back to Momoko, he turned on his heel and made his way back.

When he got closer to where she and the wagons were, Gaara jumped from the trees to the ground again. He made his way through the forest, still alert and ready for any shift of the wind, but the sight that met him when he got to the campsite made his freeze in his tracks. The shell around her was untouched and she was sleeping soundly inside, and the sand was still circling in its protective barrier. But the disturbance wasn't near Momoko, instead beside her.

Right where he had been sitting under the tree, a sprig of lavender lay burning.


	33. To Living

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Here’s the next chapter! Just a heads up- there’s a lot going on in this one! This is part 1 of the wedding! 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter and I look forward to reading your feedback! Thanks so much!!

"Thank you for helping me unload all of this," She said, smiling at him with flushed cheeks, "I don't think they could have stood another day in the wagon."

"You're welcome," He nodded in return, closing the door to the backroom behind him.

The wagons were fastened to the back of her store, secure and empty of the hundreds of flowers that they had carried along the way. Luckily, she had only lost a few on the road here. It was good that the wedding was tomorrow, or the blooms may not have lasted too much longer.

The reminder of the event made her smile. Not only was she excited to be able to showcase her flowers in this new way, but she was excited to attend an event with Gaara as his partner for the very first time. Though Daichi and his wife had invited her to the wedding, Momoko hadn't really considered going until Gaara had brought it up to her. It had almost slipped her mind that Gaara would be attending, being the Kazekage and that Daichi was a member of the council. She could tell he didn't much care for large events like this, so it didn't take a lot of convincing for her to agree to attend the event with him, and Momoko was now excited about the wedding for an entirely different reason.

To both of their relife, they had talked through their argument the very next morning. Neither of them liked the feeling of being upset with each other, so as soon as she woke up in the morning, they made it a point to resolve the issue. Though it was frustrating that they were both unwilling to change their opinion on the topic, they came to terms with that fact and called it a truce. Sometimes they would just have different opinions, that was a fact they would have to accept.

"If anything seems off, come right to me, understand?" Gaara said once they had rounded the shop and stood at the bottom of the stairs.

Momoko nodded, "Of course."

He glanced around the marketplace, and she couldn't help but frown at how tense he was. He had told her about the burning lavender he had found, as well at the chakra he had felt nearby on the first night of their trip home. Since then he had remained especially close to her, not sleeping at all through the night and no further than an arms-length away. It had worried her, too, but not as much as it had worried Gaara. Though she was sure it was nothing more than some punks trying to frighten them, he hadn't been as lenient with the situation. Even now, it was obvious he was reluctant to leave her.

After two weeks together, it would be hard to be apart. Momoko didn't think that she would be able to get a good night's sleep without him, and Gaara thought the very same thing. There was a certain comfort that came with sleeping beside the person you loved and both of them had been spoiled with it during their time in Konoha. Not just sleeping, though, the days would feel a little emptier too. Being together all the time hadn't been grating or overbearing, instead it was a comfortable reminder that they were so content with each other that they could handle being together for so long.

"You can come over tonight, if you want," She offered, and he turned his attention back to her.

"I would love to, but I'm sure Temari and Kankuro would like to see me." 

"How selfish of them," She huffed, humor in her words and it made Gaara smile slightly. He looked back to the Kazekage building and the smile faded from his lips as soon as he did so.

"I'd better go. I need to stop by the office before I go home." He replied, the reluctance clear in his words.

"Go ahead," She said, "I'll see you tomorrow night, anyway."

That brought the small smile back to his lips, and he nodded in return, "Tomorrow night."

Momoko smiled back and stood on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Goodbye, Gaara," She said happily, "I love you!"

Despite being in public again, the words made him dip his head down and kiss her softly, which she returned without hesitation. Once he pulled away, he offered her another small smile, pressed another quick kiss to her lips, before he turned and left her to her own company for the first time in a while.

She watched until his figure was a blur of red, and then until that blur was gone. As soon as he was out of sight, Momoko let out a soft sigh and tried to find it in herself to pick up right where she had left off. It was already strange, to be without him, but that was life. As fun as their vacation had been, it was time to resume normal life. Now with a smile, Momoko turned and made her way up the stairs to her home.

The door was still locked, that was a good sign. Nothing in the living room was misplaced or looked any different than how she left it, the only thing that had changed was the light coating of dust around the house. Seeing that nothing was out of place, Momoko let herself relax and settle back into the comfort of being home. She made her way through the living room and down the hallway, taking her time to browse through the pictures on the wall. It was nice to see them again, and each one of them made her smile.

She stopped short in the hallway, right before her door. It was cracked open- hadn't she closed everything on the way out? No, apparently she hadn't. She didn't want to go running to Gaara over an open door, especially not since he had just left. It was probably a mistake on her end, nothing more.

Her bedroom, as she had thought it would be, was exactly how she left it. With a little smile to herself, Momoko set her bag on the small armchair in the corner and flopped down onto her bed, taking in the familiar scent of her quilt and home. It was nice being home again after so long away, and she let herself relax into the familiar comfort of it. As fun as Konoha had been, there was something to be said about being home.

Momoko was up early the next morning, not too long after the sun rose. She was almost tempted to sleep in just a little longer, glad to be back in a bed again but there were things that needed done. The wedding was this evening and Momoko needed to get to the venue and arrange the displays. They wanted flowers everywhere:the door frames, the centerpieces, bouquets for the women and boutonnieres for the men. Though they were having a more traditional ceremony at a nearby shrine, they wanted to change into suits and dresses for the reception at the hall. Momoko was more than happy to supply them with the flowers they needed.

After she had showered and dressed for the day, not bothering to wear anything too nice or do her makeup just yet, Momoko locked up the house and made her way down into her shop. Once she was inside, she took a moment to just stop and breathe in the beautiful scents of the flowers around her. Besides being her job and her main reason for moving, it felt like she hadn't spent nearly as much time here since she and Gaara started seeing each other. She let herself take her time here, checking over her flowers and tending to the ones that needed her. Kankuro had come by a time or two to check on them, with the help of an instructional sheet Momoko had left, and she was glad to see that he had done a rather good job. 

She couldn't quite place it, but Momoko was feeling a little closer to Kankuro these days. She had always thought that Temari would be the sibling that she preferred, but Kankuro had come out of nowhere with his sly generosity and excitement to see her. She certainly saw more of him, and while she had disliked it before, she didn't mind it at all now. Kankuro was a surprisingly good friend to have, and Momoko was glad to have him.

Just before she made her way to the backroom, something made her pause. It was an empty space in the holders, where a bushell had once been, and she knew instantly what was missing.

 _Lavender_.

She couldn't remember selling out of it before she left- maybe Kankuro had just taken some as a joke? Gaara's words about the burning sprig made her blood instantly run a little colder as she remembered them. It was just a coincidence, right? There was no way that the lavender he had seen was the same as the bundles that were missing. She must have just misplaced them, or-

The sound of knocking at the door of the shop nearly startled her, shaking her up a little more than she already was. It was still too early for customers, too early for most people really. Despite knowing better, Momoko couldn't help but feel her heart begin to hammer in her chest, getting louder and louder with each pound at her door.

"Momoko?" Temari finally called from the other side, "You in there?"

Hearing that it was only her, Momoko finally let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Of course it was one of the Sand siblings, who else would it be? Still, she was going to tell Gaara about the missing lavender once they saw each other again, there was no doubt about that. For now, though, she needed to find her cool and ready herself for the day ahead.

When she opened the door, Termari offered her a smile which Momoko returned in a moment.

"Temari!" She greeted, gesturing her in, "What brings you over here?"

"I figured you could use some help setting up the flowers at the venue," Temari said as she stepped through the doorway, "Think of it as me making up for not being able to go with you."

"Oh!" Momoko exclaimed, "That's very kind of you! Thank you so much!"

With more hands, the job could be done quicker, and that means she could spend more time getting ready. Though she knew there was no need to woo Gaara anymore, Momoko still wanted to look nice for him. Besides, she never passed up an opportunity to dress up.

Temari helped her load the flowers once again and transport them to the venue on the nicer side of town. Momoko had never been before; it occurred to her that there was still a lot of Suna that she hadn't seen yet. Maybe Gaara would be willing to take her around town sometimes- the thought of it made her smile.

" _Wow_." Momoko breathed once the large doors to the hall were opened before them.

The ceilings were high and made of glass, giving them a beautiful view of the early morning sun and the clouds that lazily rolled across the sky. From the center of it hung a chandelier, crystal and beautiful as it loomed over the dance floor. The wedding party had a table set up at the very front of the room, the guests' tables being across the dance floor on the other side. Each table had a silver runner over it and large elaborate vases just waiting to be filled with her flowers. On the opposite side of the doors she stood in was a large staircase, draped with silver fabric and leading up to the balcony that surrounded and overlooked the room. There were towering columns around the room, white marble just like the walls and floors, and absolutely breathtaking. 

"How did I not know this was here?" She asked in awe as she stepped into the room, her steps echoing across the empty ballroom.

"It's usually used for big political events, and in a few cases, weddings." Temari said as she came to stand beside her after instructing some of the venue employees where to set the flowers being carried in.

"How beautiful!" Momoko swooned, walking out to the empty dance floor and spinning around a few times to take it all in, "It's like a fairy tale!"

Temari smiled at her actions, a little charmed by the childishness of them.

"Better tell that to Gaara," Temari said, and Momoko picked up the light teasing of her words, "This could be the two of you soon."

_It's never crossed my mind to marry you._

That stung a bit, but Momoko tried not to let it show as she offered Temari a weak smile in return.

"Yeah, maybe."

They settled into an easy system, finding it was easier for Temari to just hand her flowers than to try and replicate her work. It saved Momoko the time of having to turn away and collect new bundles, and being that Temari never really had an eye for art or design, she didn't mind at all.

"How was the trip?" Temari asked as Momoko started on her first centerpiece, handing her the roses first.

"It was great!" She recalled with a smile, placing the first flower in the vase, "A bit of a rough start, but great!"

"Was it because of Naruto?" Temari asked, and it made Momoko look at her a little surprised.

"How did you know?"

"Kankuro told me," She shrugged, and Momoko huffed in return.

"That loud mouth," She grumbled, taking another flower as it was handed to her.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

Momoko frowned a little at the memory of it, but didn't see the point in not telling her. It wasn't like it was a secret anymore.

"Gaara kissed me in front of Naruto, before we got the chance to talk to him about it."

Temari rose a brow at the words, " _Really_?"

"I know, that's what I thought too," She sighed "I just didn't think he would be so...abrasive. Especially since he and I had already talked through the whole thing."

The sibling fell silent for a moment, and Momoko paid a little more attention to the centerpiece before she spoke again.

"Not to excuse bad behavior," Temari said, handing her another rose, "but Gaara has never had someone like you in his life. It kind of makes sense that he would be more jealous than you thought."

"You think so?"

"Sure," She said with a shrug, "Especially since he's already insecure. It was probably more of an act of self preservation than genuine ill intent."

Momoko paused for a moment just before she was about to place another flower. Truthfully, she hadn't thought about that before. When she thought of jealousy she thought of anger, bitterness. But Gaara hadn't seemed especially angry, just...cold. Disconnected. Maybe he didn't feel that way maliciously, maybe it really was a subconscious defense mechanism.

She knew Gaara had his insecurities, so it would make sense that his acting out had been from a desire to protect whatever he thought was at stake. As much as Momoko wanted to be upset that he would doubt her at all, she knew Gaara was still getting used to understanding how he felt and sorting through it. It was one thing to claim he wasn't worried about it when they were miles and miles away from the problem, but being face to face with it may have been overwhelming to him. Seeing Naruto again, hearing him flirt with her, probably caused a reaction that Gaara couldn't understand. Especially if that reaction contradicted the fact that he had convinced himself that he wasn't worried.

"I...I think you're right." Momoko said after a moment. "That didn't even cross my mind."

"Well of course not, you're in love with him." Temari said with a small smile, "We tend to glorify those we love."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you think he's capable of a lot more than he actually is." She said, "I love Gaara, but even I try not to expect too much from him. And don't think I doubt him, I just know that he has limitations."

_You have to understand that I have limitations, that there are just-just certain things I can't give to you._

Momoko fell silent, staring at the woman before she turned her attention back to the flowers. 

"I guess he does." She said simply, "But don't we all?"

Temari just offered her a small smile, which Momoko returned with one of her own.

She couldn't help but wonder, as she and Temari continued to decorate the hall, if he would ever act out like that again. Maybe not out of jealousy, now that there wasn't anything to be jealous about, but if some other situation regarding her would make him break his composure again? He had said that being with her brought out parts of himself he didn't know existed; if jealousy was one of them, what were the others? Would they be worse?

It was odd to think of Gaara as being anything but his cool and collected self. Of course he struggled with showing emotions, but she had never taken into consideration that he wouldn't know how to handle an abundance of them. When he was younger he would lash out and kill at any sign of an emotional reaction within himself- while Momoko didn't think he would do anything like the sort now, maybe he still didn't know how to control his reactions to such strong feelings. What would happen the next time Gaara was overwhelmed?

The more time that passed in the day, the more restless the Kazekage became. He wasn't nervous, per say, but he was still getting used to large social events like this. Speeches were one thing, interacting was another. He had no doubt in himself that he would do just fine, but it still didn't put his nerves at ease. What did, though, was the reminder that Momoko would be there too. It would be her first official event in the public eye as his partner, and though he wasn't nervous, he was worried she may be. As wonderful as Momoko was, he wasn't sure how well she would handle the attention. 

As he was getting ready that evening, just before the reception was about to start, Gaara's mind began to wander to places it never really had before. He had said in Konoha that he had never thought of marrying her, couldn't guarantee a future beyond this, but since she had confessed her love to him, Gaara couldn't help the small seed that had planted itself into the back of his thoughts. Would this ever be them, one day? Would he ever get down on one knee before her or hold her hand before a priest? Maybe it was just the fact that they would be going to a wedding together, or the fact that he now knew she was in love with him, but Gaara's thoughts started to drift as he stood in the mirror.

He imagined a life with her, full of laughter and smiles and liles. He'd wake up in the morning with her body pressed to his and her sweet words in his ear, and he would adore every moment of it. Gaara would cherish every _'I love you'_ , every caress and every sparkle that went through her eyes when she looked at him. He imagined, for the first time as he put on his suit jacket and stared at the reflection of his hand, how wonderful it would feel to wear a ring on his finger and see one on hers. It would be a silent message to the world, a wordless sign that she was his entirely, now and forever.

Without even realizing it, Gaara had started to smile.

How wonderful it would be, to marry her. 

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, and he turned to see Kankuro standing in the doorway of his bedroom. His brother had dressed up for the occasion, wearing a black suit with a white buttoned shirt underneath and violet tie. He had forgone the paint and hood, but had made no effort to fix the mess of brown hair on his head.

"Well look at you!" His brother said as he came closer and draped an arm around his shoulders, looking at their reflection in the mirror, "We clean up pretty nice, don't we?"

Gaara had never really been one to consider his own appearance or admire it. It never really seemed to matter before, and truthfully still didn't, but even he couldn't deny that his attire did make him feel a little better about himself than usual.

Temari had picked out his outfit while he was gone, and Gaara had found it hanging in his room when he returned home last night. It was a black suit, a sleek cut that made him look slim and a little more stylish than he was used to. Instead of the white buttoned shirt like Kankuro wore, Gaara had a thin black turtleneck underneath and nice leather shoes to match. Though he had questioned before she left this morning why there was no square in the jacket pocket, Temari had just given him an odd little smile and told him not to worry about it. Overall, Gaara was better dressed than he usually was, and he hoped Momoko liked this new look as much as he did.

"We better head over," Kankuro said with a grin, "Don't want to keep them waiting!"

Gaara nodded in return, and the two of them headed out. Momoko had invited Temari to come get ready at her place, so Temari had stopped by a few hours ago to grab her dress and then head over. She had said something about Momoko offering to do her makeup, and though she didn't give too much away with her words, her brothers could tell she was a little excited by the idea. They had agreed to meet the girls at the venue, so as soon as they stepped through the doors of the hall, they had an eye out for the two blondes.

"Damn!" Kankuro grinned, "Look at this place! Momoko did a great job!"

She really had. Each table had a gorgeous centerpiece of blood red roses and white lilies, both of which were large and in full bloom. The staircase was lined with flowers, as were the frames of doors and every few feet of the balcony railing. She had arranged it all in such a beautiful way, the flowers made just right to compliment the silver and crystal of the venue. Even though he could take no credit for the creation, Gaara felt his chest swell a little with pride.

"Gaara! Kankuro!" Temari called out to them as she finally made her way through the crowd of people that had already gathered in the hall. It was mostly politicians and important members of Suna society, but there were some common civilians no doubt from the bride's side.

Neither of them could remember seeing Temari look so, well, pretty. Her hair had been pulled back into a bun instead of her four ponytails, and her usual shinobi uniform was replaced with something more femenine. Her dress was cut a little low in front, with long sleeves and a slitted skirt that just skimmed the floor. It was a light blue fabric, the color of forget-me-nots, and it caught the light in a pretty way as she moved. She wore a pair of dangling diamond earrings as well, ones that went nicely with the silver heels she wore. Her makeup looked better than usual, too. Her eyeshadow was neutral, pretty, and her lips were lightly painted with a tinted gloss. Overall, Temari looked better than either of them could ever recall seeing her before.

"You look beautiful." Gaara said, and Kankuro nodded beside him. It brought a blush to her cheeks, but also a smile to her lips.

"Thank you," She beamed, "You two look pretty good yourselves!"

As she and Kankuro talked, Gaara's eyes trailed over her shoulder to where she had come from. Temari noticed this after a moment and offered him a smile.

"She's giving the men their boutineers, but she should be back any moment." Temari told him, "She'll be coming down the stairs."

With a small nod, Gaara made his way past her and through the crowd of important people. A few stopped him to talk, and though he was eager to see Momoko, he complied and held conversations for just a few moments before moving on again. It took him a little longer than he cared to reach the bottom of the staircase, where Daichi Nakano stood talking to another councilman. 

For being an older gentleman, he looked so young from the way he glowed. He had this lopsided smile on his face that made the years seem to melt away, and his emerald eyes were bright with a happiness you didn't usually see in politicians of his status. His tuxedo was nice, a little old-fashioned, with a lily pinned to the front of it. 

"Lord Kazekage," He greeted at the sight of him, and Gaara was alright with stopping now that he was at the bottom of the staircase, "I'm honored you could make it."

"Of course," The Kazekage nodded in return, "Thank you for the invitation."

Daichi noticed how he glanced up the stairs a few times, and he smiled a knowing smile at the younger man.

"She's quite the catch, that Akiyama girl." The man commented, and Gaara turned his attention back to him.

Gaara stared at him, a little wide eyed and silent for a moment, before a small smile finally came to his lips. The doors at the top of the staircase opened, and Gaara turned his attention away from the politician to look.

She had left her hair down, curled and full as it fell to her waist in spirals, and tucked behind her ear was a mapira lily in full bloom. Her dress was a cheongsam style, without sleeves and high-necked with a horizontal keyhole cut in the chest to show just a bit of cleavage. The skirt was floor length and had slits on both sides that stopped just above the knee, giving a view of her smooth legs and pretty red heels. The dress itself was a light pink satin, accented with embroidered crimson flowers and vines. Her makeup was a little heavier than usual, the blue of her eyes accented by the brown shadow and her lips full as they were painted the same crimson color.

Her bright blue eyes scanned the crowd for a moment before they found him at the bottom of the stairs, and her whole face lit up at the sight of him waiting wide-eyed for her.

Gaara had no doubt in his mind right then, as Momoko made her way down the stairs and smiled the way she only ever did for him, that he was horribly in love with her.

Gaara held out his hand for her when she got closer, and Momoko slipped her own into his. Somehow, it was just like when they had kissed for the first time: the world had gone silent and everyone else faded to nothing. They stood for just a few moments, looking at each other with soft eyes and warm smiles, before the sounds of a piano starting to play pulled them from their own little world.

"You look..." His words trailed off, his eyes shifting from the flower in her hair to the fabric of her dress, unable to pick out which part of her he liked most right now. 

"You do, too." She giggled, her words a little bashful and her cheeks pink. She perked up, seeming to remember something, "I have this for you!"

She held up the boutineer that Gaara hadn't even realized she was holding. It wasn't a rose or white lily like the wedding party wore, instead it was a deep crimson mapira lily like the one in her hair. Momoko gestured to his chest and he only nodded mutely, not quite back to earth just yet. She pinned it to the pocket of his jacket, making sure it was firmly in place before smoothing her hands over his chest with a small smile. Though they weren't usually ones for affectionate gestures in public, Gaara had no intentions of denying her the touch.

Beside them, a loud wolf whistle made Momoko nearly jump out of her skin. She pulled her hands from his chest and Gaara instantly missed the feel of them, but he forced himself to come back to reality again as he turned to look at Kankuro and Temari as they approached.

"Holy shit, Peaches!" Kankuro commented, and Momoko laughed as she stepped away and did a small spin for them, "You look amazing!"

"You don't look too bad yourself," She giggled, and Kankuro grinned in return.

"We should find our seats," Temari said, and the three of them agreed.

Gaara offered his arm to her and Momoko accepted with a happy smile, and the small group made their way through the crowd to try and find their assigned seating. It didn't take too long, being that they were at the very front of the room. They didn't share a table with anyone else, theirs being the only one with four seats instead of six, but none of them minded. Kankuro whispered something about 'Kazekage Perks' and Momoko couldn't help but giggle.

They sat at the table, chatting away about the venue and whoever else was in the room; it was mostly Temari, Kankuro, and Momoko talking, Gaara being content to just sit back and listen. Many people came by to greet the Kazekage and his family, and he stood for each one and gestured to Momoko to do the same.

"This is Momoko Akiyama," He would introduce her, "My partner."

It would never fail to make her blush, especially as politicians eagerly greeted her and their wives fawned over how pretty she was or how nice the two of them looked together. Though Gaara didn't show it on his face, Momoko could tell from the look in his eyes that he was proud to have her at his side. As soon as the bride made her appearance and the reception started, Momoko took her seat beside him and grabbed his hand under the table.

"Hey," She called softly, and Gaara turned his eyes to her, "I love you."

He stared at her, still as enamored with the words now as he had been the first time he heard them. She watched how he seemed to think for a moment, how his hand tightened around hers, before he spoke.

"I lo-"

He was cut off by the sound of someone's clinking glasses at the front of the room, and Momoko stared at him with wide eyes even as he turned away. She tried not to dwell on the sentence that hung in the air too long, tried to pay attention to the servers that now came around the room with dinner, but she couldn't help it. Was he going to say it back, right then? Despite how her heart was beating loudly in her chest, Momoko was able to turn her attention back to the event. As expected, they were the first table served after the wedding party, and once everyone had their meals and glasses of champagne, the toasts started.

It was charming to hear the important people in their lives speak. First it had been the best man, who was Daichi's brother, who talked about how nervous the groom had been when first asking out the bride. The next was Yuki's, the bride, best friend, who told everyone how she had spent an hour at her house picking out her shoes alone for their first date. It was beautiful, to see the people in their life love them and their relationship, and to see two older people so in love tugged at Momoko's heart strings a little. She had been to a wedding once or twice before, but she couldn't remember a reception as warm as this one.

After the groom's father had taken a seat, Gaara let out a little sigh and shifted in his chair. He stood, and took his glass in hand, and Momoko was confused for a moment before realizing just what was happening. Of course he would have to speak as Kazekage, she felt silly for forgetting that. Sometimes she forgot just how important of a person Gaara was. The hall had fallen silent again, having died down from applauding the friends and family, before turning their full attention to their beloved leader. Gaara was silent for a moment, trying to find the right words as Momoko sat beside him and the hall watched him with baited breath.

"I believe I may have underestimated love in the past. It's taken me a very long time to finally understand it, but now I do. Whether it's our family, our friends, our husbands or wives- so long as we love, we _live_." His eyes flickered to Momoko, "I've spent my life trying to find the meaning of it, and now believe I finally have." He turned his gaze back to the couple, "Just as you both have, too. Love is the most powerful thing in this world, and so long as you trust in it and each other, it will never fail you."

Gaara rose his glass, "To Daichi and Yuki, _to living_."

There was applause, a raising of glasses, and Gaara sat back in his chair. He looked at her, at her wide glassy eyes, and offered her the most beautiful smile she had ever seen grace his lips. Without a word, he took her hand and gave it a small squeeze, and it took everything in Momoko not to let the tears in her eyes fall as she squeezed his hand in return.


	34. A Long and Happy Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter: part 2 of the wedding!! Thanks for the feedback on previous chapters!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, I hope you enjoy!

After dinner had been eaten and thoroughly enjoyed, the real party began. The music that the live band played was a little old-fashioned, with a beautiful piano and a singer who had a voice of velvet. It was classy and reminded her of the old records her parents would play in the shop. The song right now was upbeat, the kind you tapped your toes to, and after a few too many drinks, Momoko stood from her chair with flushed cheeks and determination in her eyes.

"You guys wanna dance?" She asked the rest of the table, and Temari offered her a smile as she stood as well.

"I'm not very good at it, but I'll give it a shot." Maybe it was because she liked Momoko, or because she too had one too many glasses of champagne, but she let the other blonde girl take her hands and pull her to the dance floor.

"We're gonna have to carry those two home," Kankuro snickered, taking a bite of his second plate.

Gaara nodded in return, but there was a fond look in his eyes as he watched the two girls laugh over their clumsy steps.

"They're enjoying themselves," The Kazekage commented, taking a sip of his own drink.

Kankuo hummed in return, "Can't blame them- who knew weddings could be fun?"

"I think they're intended to be." Gaara replied, "The last one we went to wasn't as grand as this."

"Yours will have to kick this one's ass, though!" Kankuro grinned, "Can't let an old man like Daichi show you up."

"She's enjoying herself too much to let ours be anything less than a festival," He said, smiling slightly against his glass.

His words startled Kankuro for a moment, and Gaara looked up to see the baffled look in his brother's eyes.

"What?" Gaara asked, and Kankuro set his fork down. 

"That's the first time you've ever entertained the idea," Kankuro said, and Gaara turned his eyes away again, "Something on your mind, buddy?"

Gaara watched the two girls, now holding each other's waist as they danced a silly little dance to the jazzy music. Despite the fact that they were both a little tipsy, it was clear they were having fun all on their own.

"It's...crossed my mind, lately." He admitted, a little quieter now, "Not any time soon, but maybe one day, I don't know..."

Kankuro watched his brother swirl the champagne in his glass, his brow knotted and eyes focused out to the dance floor. Despite the way his chest had grown a little tight, Kankuro offered him a smile and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you think you're not meant for these kind of things, but look how far you've come already!" He encouraged him, "Don't doubt yourself so much, Gaara. If you think you want something, you shouldn't hold yourself back from getting it."

Ironic, Kankuro thought, but he gave Gaara's shoulder a soft squeeze anyway. The Kazekage turned his eyes from the dance floor and back to his brother, who smiled his most supportive smile for him. As crude as Kankuro could be at times, Gaara appreciated these moments of sincerity.

"But don't rush yourself, okay?" Kankuro chuckled, taking his hand away again, "Just enjoy what you've got now, for as long as you can."

Gaara offered him a small smile in return, his eyes turning back to the girls as Kankuro let his smile falter for just a moment. Finally, the song had started to change to something a little slower, and the girls came back with flushed cheeks and wide smiles. Temari took her seat across from Gaara and Momoko turned her attention to him, offering him a pretty smile of her own. She held her hands out for him, and though he took them, he didn't stand.

"Will you dance with me, my love?" She asked sweetly, and Gaara couldn't help but smile at her words.

"I'd like to, but I don't dance." He replied, and Temari snickered across the table at how Momoko pouted.

"Not even for me?"

"I'm afraid not."

Momoko huffed, but he could tell her feelings weren't genuinely hurt and it was more for a joke than actual offense. She gave his hands a soft squeeze, and he pressed a kiss to the back of her knuckles. 

"You'll have to make it up to me," She mused with a smile, and Gaara nodded in return with a sparkle in his eye.

"Of course."

Momoko turned her attention away from Gaara to over his shoulder, where Kankuro had made it a point to avoid her eyes. A little grin crept onto her lips, and Kankuro cleared his throat in an uncomfortable way.

"I guess that means it's your turn, Kankuro!" Momoko grinned, moving around Gaara to grab Kankuro's arm.

"I don't dance either!" He protested, but she pulled him out of his seat anyway.

"You do now!"

With a groan, he reluctantly let Momoko tug him away from the table and to the dance floor, the sounds of Temari's laughter following them as they did so.

The song was slower now, more a lazy waltz than the upbeat tune that she and Temari had danced to. Momoko took one of his hands into hers and placed the other on his shoulder as Kankuro hesitantly laid his free hand on her waist. 

"You _can_ dance, can't you?" Momoko teased as they started to sway.

"Of course I can!" He huffed, "And judging by what I saw before, way better than you." 

The words made Momoko laugh, and he relaxed a little at the sound of it.

"You're probably right, I'm not a great dancer," She admitted with a little shrug, "But at least I'm not as bad as Temari, that poor girl."

Kankuro laughed this time, and Momoko chimed in too. They swayed to the slower beat, their hold on each other loose and comfortable as the band continued to play. He let himself stare at her while being this close, at the way her eyes sparkled under the lights and her painted lips pulled into a beautiful smile, even as her eyes were fixated on the bride and groom who still sat at the front of the room.

"They look so happy," Momoko sighed dreamily.

"They've been together for a long time," Kakuro commented, "Since they were teenagers, I think."

"And they're just now getting married?" Momoko asked, looking back to Kankuro with a raised brow.

"She moved away for a while to take care of her parents in Iwagakure and didn't come back until about a year ago. They reconnected, and the rest is history."

"How romantic," She swooned, "To still love each other after all this time." 

Kankuro just grunted in return, and Momoko raised a brow at him.

"Don't you have someone special, Kankuro?" She asked, keeping in sync with the way he swayed them to the slower beat.

He gave her a small smile and tried to shrug it off, but his obvious dismissal had Momoko smiling widely. She perked up a little, the excitement clear on her face.

"You do!" Momoko exclaimed, "That's great!"

"It's nothing, really." He shrugged, "She and I are just friends."

"The strongest love always comes from being friends first," She mused, thinking of how her own relationship had started, "Does she know you're in love with her?"

"Woooah there, don't go throwing around the 'L' word," Kankuro laughed, "I don't know her well enough to love her. Besides, even if I did, I can't really do anything about it. " 

"Why not?" Momoko asked with a tilt of her head, and Kankuro had to turn his eyes away from her and to the other pairs that swayed around them.

"She's with someone else." He sighed, "It wouldn't be right."

"Oh, phooey!" She dismissed him, "If you really like this girl, you should go for it!"

Kankuro seemed to pause, his gaze turning away from the reception and back to her. Her eyes were dazzling and her crimson smile was confident, and Kankuro couldn't help but stare.

"You think so?"

"Absolutely!" 

He allowed himself, for the first time ever, to entertain the thoughts that had tried to plague his mind these past months. He wondered what it would be like to hold her closer than this, to hear her laughter in his ear, or feel the warmth of her kiss. Kankuro imagined a life of flowers, of being looked at the way she looked at the man she loved now. To be touched by her, known by her, loved by her- Kankuro's heart pounded in his chest at the thought of it. If by some small chance she did feel the same, he could have her entirely.

But in having her, he would lose so much. Kankuro's gaze drifted over heads and bodies until he saw red, and he stared at the hesitant smile and seafoam eyes of someone he loved now. He knew he would lose him, probably also the woman who sat across from him. As much as he wanted to be loved by her, he was loved by them now. He couldn't lose the bonds he had waited his whole life to make, especially not for a girl he was never meant to have.

Besides, she was happy. He saw the way she looked at her lover even after he turned away, how her face lit up when he entered the room and dropped when he left it. They were both so in love with each other, that was obvious in everything they did. Kankuro would be damned if he tried to come between them now.

So he would sit silently, watch them love and live and hope that he could find someone that made him feel even half of what she did. He would ignore the way her smile made him falter, how his cheek still burned from her kiss, and how his heart raced at the mere mention of her name. Kankuro would watch them be happy, and he'd ignore every desire for a life full of flowers and full of her.

"No," He finally said, "I don't think I will."

"Why not?" 

"Because as much as I want her love, I want her happiness." Kankuro replied, an odd look in his eyes, "And she's happy now."

Momoko stared at him for a moment, at the way his smile had weakened and a bit of tenderness came to his gaze, and wondered just who in the world could make him look this way. She must have been wonderful to reduce even Kankuro to bittersweet smiles, and Momoko sent a silent wish up to the heavens that she would come around.

"She's a lucky girl, whoever she is." She said with a small smile, leaning her head on his shoulder, "You're wonderful, Kankuro."

"Thanks, Peaches," He replied softly, resting his head on top of hers. 

For a moment, he held her just a little closer.

Once the song was over they made their way back to the table, and Kankuro excused himself. Momoko took a seat next to Gaara, who had finished off the last of his champagne as well and seemed a little more relaxed than he had been before. She offered him a wide smile, which he returned with a smaller one of his own. Momoko leaned back in her chair, her curls tumbling over the back of it as she tilted her head to look at the stars through the glass ceiling. It was a clear night, and they twinkled above them without a single cloud in sight. It was the perfect sky for a wedding, and a small part of her couldn't help but envy the two proud people who sat at the front of the room.

She moved her eyes to Gaara, who was watching her with that warm look in his eyes that he only ever had for her. Despite the thoughts from earlier today, and the worries that this may never be them, Momoko couldn't help but smile. She was happy with him now, that was all that really mattered.

"Lord Kazekage, Miss Akiyama."

The sound of Daichi's voice pulled their attention to where the newly wedded couple stood, and Gaara and Momoko rose to do the same.

"Mr. and Mrs. Nakano," Momoko greeted with a bow of her head, which they returned with bright smiles.

"The flowers are beautiful!" Yuki commented, her aged face glowing with happiness, "So many people have asked about them!"

"I'm so glad you're happy with them!" Momoko exclaimed, a wide grin coming to her lips, "Thank you again for letting me be a part of your special day!"

"It's our pleasure," Daichi reassured her, "You did a wonderful job, Miss. Akiyama."

"She's very talented," Gaara added with a small smile, and Momoko felt a blush rise to her cheeks. 

"I wouldn't expect anything less from the Kazekage's sweetheart!" Yuki giggled, and Momoko offered her a bashful little smile in return.

"If I may be so bold," Daichi spoke up, "It's nice to see you in love, Lord Kazekage."

To Momoko's surprise, Gaara didn't bat an eye.

"It's nice to be in love." He nodded in agreement, the look in his eyes just a little warmer.

Through the rest of the conversation, Momoko could only stare at him with wide eyes and pink cheeks. He stood with a hand on the small of her back, entertaining the couple for a little while longer as though he hadn't just said such important words. She could hear her heart hammering away in her ears, and she tried to keep track of the conversation but her eyes just kept slipping back to her partner. Finally, the newly-weds bid them farewell and made their way to the other tables to greet more of their guests. 

"You're awfully romantic tonight," She couldn't help but comment.

"It's a special night," Gaara replied nonchalantly, "For everyone."

The encounter now felt like it had shifted the mood of the night a little, and Momoko debated going to grab another drink before sitting again. Now that she had danced and socialized her little heart out, Momoko felt like her social clock was starting to tick away. As much fun as this all was, it was a little draining. Though she was still in high spirits, Momoko couldn't help but wish for a smaller crowd. 

"My social skills are stretched thin, I'm afraid." Gaara asked, noticing how she had started to trace the embroidery of her dress, "Are you ready to go?"

Momoko sighed in relief, offering him a little smile, "You know me so well."

He smiled in return, pressing a quick kiss to her temple before going into the crowd to try and find Temari and Kankuro so that they could say goodbye. Momoko tried to clean up her and Gaara's places as well as she could, putting the glasses all in one spot and tucking in their chairs as well. She hadn't brought any purse or bag, but she still scanned the table one more time before turning to seek out the three siblings.

She ran face first into someone, and nearly fell right on her ass if they hadn't grabbed her shoulders to steady her.

"My apologies," The man said, his voice smooth as he steadied her.

"It's okay!" She laughed softly, and straightened out her dress, "I should have watched where I was going!"

The man chuckled, and the cackling sound of it made her nerves immediately stand on edge.

"You really are lovely, Momoko," He commented, "Such a pity that it should go to waste." 

The words startled her, and she raised her eyes to look at his face but stopped short at the sight of the small sprig of lavender that was pinned to his chest. Her eyes widened, immediately feeling her heart pick up, and his hands on her shoulders tightened to the point of hurting.

"Momoko!" 

She startled at the sound to her name, finally tearing her eyes away to look at the siblings as they approached. Just as she turned her head, the grip on her shoulders vanished and she didn't get a chance to see the man's face as he turned and disappeared into the crowd. Momoko turned right back around when the touch left her, and she tried to pick out any retreating forms in the crowd but could see none.

"You okay?" Kankuro asked as they got back to the table, "You look a little shook up."

She stared after the man for a moment longer, and it wasn't until Gaara placed a hand on her shoulder that she finally came back to reality. Momoko turned to look at him, how his brow was knotted and concern obvious in his eyes, but she just shook her head and tried to offer him a smile.

"It's nothing," She reassured him, "Just bumped into someone."

Momoko remembered the missing flowers from her shop, and now seeing the sprig of it reminded her that she needed to tell Gaara. But...was this the right time? The night had been so wonderful, and if Gaara's mood was anything to go off of, it wasn't over just yet. Maybe she should just tell him tomorrow, when they had the time and a more private setting to talk about it. 

The thoughts left her mind as they said goodbye to Gaara's siblings, and then in turn had to say goodbye to everyone else they passed on their way out. It must have been another hour until they reached the doors, bidding the newly-weds a goodbye last before they were finally left alone in the hallway. Arm in arm, she and Gaara left the hall and made their way out into the cool night.

"My place?" She asked, but Gaara replied with a shake of his head.

"There's one more thing I'd like to do tonight, if you don't mind." 

Momoko couldn't help the excitement that bubbled up inside of her at the sight of Gaara's little smile, "Lead the way!"

They walked for a while, enjoying the cool desert night and the pretty stars overhead, and Momoko hardly realized where they were heading until they came to a stop in front of the building. She turned her attention from the sky to the Kazekage Tower, raising a brow in obvious confusion.

"Your office?" She asked, and he shook his head before pointing up.

The gesture made her smile, and she took a step closer to him as the sand swirled around them just as it had the first time. This time, though, she wasn't afraid of it. Instead she watched in awe as it soon fell away and they were left standing on the roof. 

It was just as it had been last time, but even more beautiful now that it was dark. She could see the twinkling lights of the whole village and felt even closer to the stars at this height. Despite being night time, the buildings around them shared enough illumination that she could see Gaara just fine in the warm light. The only thing that was different, though, was the small radio that had been sat beside the railing. Momoko looked to Gaara with a raised brow, and he offered her an almost nervous little smile in return.

"I knew you'd want to dance at the wedding, and I knew I'd say no. But it's just the two of us up here, so I thought I'd indulge you."

He moved over to the radio, fiddled with the buttons and knobs for a second before a pretty song started to play. He looked back at her, and Momoko watched the light of the village bring a sparkle to his eye.

"May I have this dance?" Gaara asked, holding his hand out to her, and it took everything in her not to gush how much she loved him right at that moment. 

With a gentle smile, Momoko placed her hand in his and allowed him to pull her closer. He intertwined their fingers and placed his other hand on her waist, and Momoko placed her free one on his shoulder. Slowly, they started to dance. He was a little awkward with his steps, held her hand and waist a little too tightly, but Momoko didn't mind. The stars were bright, the moon was full, and he was hers.

"I didn't think you would ever ask," She said, her eyes never leaving his. 

"There's very little I wouldn't do for you," Gaara replied, his tone like velvet and words like honey.

"I know," She breathed, a warm smile on her lips, "You're so good to me, Gaara."

"I try to be," He admitted, a hesitant little smile on his lips, "Though I fear I may fall short at times."

"Never," She laughed softly, "Not even once have you been anything less than perfect."

"I'm glad." 

They stayed like that for a while, the music around them light and beautiful, and their steps in sync with the gentle beat of it. Momoko could feel her heart hammering in her chest- though she knew there was no need to be nervous around him any more, she couldn't help it. It was just a radio and some stars, but this was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her before. He really was perfect, she thought fondly as she stared up at him, in every way he could possibly be.

Momoko laid her head on his chest and Gaara let his own lean on hers. He pulled their intertwined hands closer to rest on his chest as well, and Momoko's heart fluttered at the intimacy of this moment. She loved him, more than she had ever loved anyone, and this beautiful display was just another point that proved that Momoko would love him for the rest of her life.

"I've been thinking," Gaara finally said after a while of just swaying, and Momoko gave a soft hum in return, "That I may have spoken too soon in Konoha." 

Her brow knotted, "What do you mean?"

"When I said that I wasn't sure if I could ever see a future beyond this, what we are now. Every moment since saying that, I've felt ways that have contradicted it completely." He said, holding her hand a little tighter.

Momoko's eyes widened, and she pulled away a bit to meet his gaze again. Gaara's eyes were fond, a little hesitant, but they shown with a love that made her knees go weak.

"I'm not asking you to marry me now, or even a year from now, but I want you to know that I _will_ ask." He spoke, softly, just barely above a whisper.

"A-Are you sure?" She asked, her heart pounding loud in her ears, "Don't feel like you have to just because I want it."

"I'm sure," He reassured her with a small nod. "I want this, too."

He had never imagined, in all his life, that he would be here. Swaying in the moonlight with a woman that meant the world to him, talking about a future that he had never even considered was in his reach. His younger self wouldn't believe for a moment that he loved and was loved in return, but here he was. Momoko was his in nearly every way she could be, and had already confirmed that she would be so for the rest of their lives when the time came. 

"Now that I know you love me, I can't imagine my life without you. Not tomorrow, or ten years from now. Every time I think of the future, you're always there." He said softly, "You have captivated me entirely with your love and your kindness, and I know that I will never feel for anyone again what I feel for you now. I've never thought of myself as a husband, or a father, but I would do anything for you, _be_ anything for you." Gaara breathed the next words lightly, tenderly, "Because I love you, Momoko. And I want nothing more than to give you a long and happy life."

The words took her breath away, and the tears that had welled in her eyes finally fell. She stared at him, wide-eyed and with her heart hammering in her ears. 

No matter how many times he whispered it against her lips as he kissed her, or spoke it into her ear as he took her that night, Momoko would never tire of hearing those words. He loved her, he _loved_ her, he loved her. And she loved him, too- God, did she love him. It brought her to the point of tears, how strong his hold on her heart was.

It's unexplainable: the medicine it is to be loved by someone. He had spent his whole life waiting for her, for a love like this that healed him so completely that he could hardly remember the pain in the first place. All of the years spent without a healthy relationship had been worth it so long as she came to Gaara in the end. They would do it all again, the lifetime they had spent apart, if that was what it took to be together now. Every moment of suffering, every heartache, and tear shed were dust in the wind. 

From now on it would be just Gaara and Momoko, and so long as they were together, they would live a very long and very happy life.

But fate is such a cruel thing.


	35. Something Wicked This Way Comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your feedback and kudos! I really enjoy hearing from you- it’s what keeps the story going! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for reading!!

"Will you put that thing out?" The guard groaned, turning his eyes away from the vast desert to the shinobi beside him, "That's your third one in the past hour."

"I can't help it," His companion shrugged, taking a long drag of his cigarette, "There's nothing to do."

"What about your _job_?" The guard huffed, and gave another little noise of disapproval as the younger man just gave a lazy shrug.

"Oh come on, it's not like anything ever happens out here anyway."

Though true, the older guard just shook his head. From their post on the cliffs that surrounded Sunagakure, they could see the emptiness of the desert that surrounded them. Tonight, just like all other nights, there was nothing out there but the shifting sands and cool breeze.

The older shinobi leaned back against the railing, pulling the paper out from his pocket and unfolding it. The front page was some silly headline in big letters and beneath it was a photo of a newly-married couple chatting away with the Kazekage and his new partner.

"She's a pretty little thing," The guard commented, and his companion exhaled smoke as he leaned over to look.

"Damn, she sure is!" The younger took the paper from his hand, looking over the pretty smile in the picture. He let out a low whistle, taking the cigarette from his lips, "Jeez, the things I'd do to her!"

"I'll say," His companion snickered, cracking a smile for the first time that night.

"You really shouldn't talk about women like that."

The voice startled them, and they whirled around to face the stranger who stood behind them. Despite the fact that the light from the post allowed them to see him, his face was blocked entirely by the face mask and hood he wore. In an instant the two shinobi were in position with kunai in hand and ready to attack.

"No one is allowed up here!" The older guard barked, and the stranger held up his hands in return.

"I don't want to hurt you guys-"

"Bullshit!" The younger barked, spitting his cigarette out, "Who are you?!"

The stranger stood silently, his eyes moving past them to look at the desert behind. The older guard dared to glance over his shoulder as well, just in time to see the small band of shinobi who had started to make their way through the gates.

"Hey!" He called over the railing, "Stop right there!"

Before he could say another word the stranger made his move. The younger guard raised his kunai to attack, but all it took was a flick of his hand to disarm him. He grabbed the younger guard by the throat, and the older by the back of his head as he still looked over the railing.

"I didn't want to do this," The stranger said, and if they weren't so terrified they may have heard the sincerity in his words.

With one heavy push, the two guards went toppling over the side of the cliff, and the stranger leaned over to watch until they hit the ground with a sickening crack. With a small sigh, he turned to leave until the sight of the newspaper caught his eye. He kneeled down to pick it up, his cool grey eyes focused on the photo of the smiling young woman, and beneath his mask, he frowned.

"I'm sorry, Momoko Akiyama." He sighed, "I wish things were different."

Without another word, he tucked the newspaper into his vest and turned before disappearing from sight.

  
When Momoko arrived at the Kazekage tower, nearly a week after the wedding, it seemed like life had finally gone back to normal. Coming through the front door with two bouquets in hand was almost nostalgic, in some silly way. It had only been three weeks since her last delivery, but it felt like years since she had last stepped through these doors. Momoko had taken the week to be in the shop as much as she could, and Gaara spent his days in his office tending to the piles and piles of paperwork that had been stacking up during their time in Konoha. They changed out lunch for dinner, and most nights Gaara headed to her house instead of his own. He usually stayed the night, and Momoko loved every moment of it.

For having never considered themselves very sexual people before, they couldn't seem to get enough of each other. As soon as the door to her apartment was closed, Momoko was pinned to it with her legs wrapped around his waist and his hands already trailing up her dress. He'd come up behind her in the kitchen and start pressing kisses down her neck, or she would wear night gowns just a little too short to be practical. They had already christened nearly every surface of her home: the couch, the kitchen counter, the dining room table, her shower, (maybe the shop a time or two, but who was counting?) and of course her bed. Maybe it was the strength of their bond or how deeply they loved each other, but the moment they were behind closed doors, their hands were all over each other.

It was quite the discovery for both of them. They learned some new things about themselves and each other that they would have never guessed before: Gaara liked how her nails racked across his skin and Momoko adored the look of the marks that he left on her skin. It almost made her feel dirty during the rest of the day, to smile pretty for customers and be her usual sweet self only to go home later that night and be taken so roughly by the Kazekage himself. Sometimes her mind would wander during the day, to memories of the predatory look in Gaara's eyes as he took her or the way he held her wrists above her head with one hand. Just the thought alone was enough to make her blush all the way to her ears. Of course he was the perfect gentleman during the day, calm and collected and showing no signs of the beast that came out at night.

God, she loved him.

"Momoko!" Hana called, and it wasn't until she did so that Momoko realized she had been just standing in the doorway as she recalled the last week.

With newly colored cheeks, Momoko offered her a smile and moved forward, setting the smaller bouquet of daffodils on the desk.

"Good morning, Hana!" She greeted happily, "Long time no see!"

"I'll say," The woman replied, standing from her chair to admire the bouquet, "It's been so dull around here without your flowers."

"It's been a busy couple of weeks!" 

"Oh you don't have to tell me," Hana said, a sly little smile on her face, "I've read all the papers- you're really photogenic, you know that?"

Oh yes- _that_. Now that she had officially been introduced to the public eye as the Kazekage's partner, Momoko had gotten a little more attention lately than she was used to. It started out with the newspaper the morning after the wedding, it's headline being 'Love Is In The Air!' with a picture of the newly-wedded couple speaking to her and Gaara at the reception. It was a silly article, and Momoko giggled as Gaara read it to her as she was curled up in his lap that night. They couldn't tell if it was meant to congratulate Daichi and Yuki or to gush about their Kazekage finally dating- either way, it had been a fun read. 

Since then, her shop had seen more traffic than it had in awhile. It was nearly as busy as the first week she opened, but now her flowers weren't the only curiosity. There were women who'd pretend to be interested in the blooms, only to try and slip in questions about their Kazekage. Some men also came by just to stare in the ways men always did, making assessments of her while she was just trying to work. They were mostly supportive, if a little nosey, but the sudden attention was a little overwhelming. The biggest bright side that had come out of it all was the more attention the articles had brought to her shop.

"Thank you," She laughed, "Though I don't know how I feel about people just taking pictures of me whenever they want."

"Part of the gig," Hana shrugged, "Don't worry, give them a couple months and I'm sure the excitement will wear off."

"Hopefully," Momoko sighed, but the smile was still on her lips, "I'm going to head up now, I'll see you later!"

"See ya!" The woman waved as Momoko turned and headed for the stairs.

She nearly forgot to grab his tea, but remembered at just the last minute. After fetching it, smiling to herself at the familiarity of the action, Momoko made her way up to his office with the vase in one hand and his tea in the other. As always, she didn't knock as she opened the door and saw herself inside.

Usually he looked up when the door opened, but even as she closed it behind her his eyes were focused on the paper in front of him. There were a few stacks on the sides of the desk, but she noticed the few files and papers that were haphazardly strewn about in the middle of it. It was rare for there to be this lack of organization, even rarer for there not to be enough room for her flowers, but she took it in stride. Momoko set her bouquet of blue bells on one of the side tables at the front of the room, and it wasn't until Gaara turned his eyes up that he finally acknowledged her.

"Momoko," He breathed, setting his pen down for the first time since he began, "Good morning, and thank you."

"Morning!" She replied happily, hoping her good mood would improve his own as she handed him his tea. He took it with an appreciative nod, and Momoko came around the desk to lean against it in front of him.

"Everything okay?" She asked, noticing the knot in his brow.

"There was an issue at the gates last night." Gaara sighed for the second time since she walked in, "Two of our guards were killed."

"By who?" Momoko questioned, startled by the news, "What happened?"

"We don't know." He said with a shake of his head, "We found their bodies this morning, but nothing else." 

Momoko frowned, looking away from him and out to the window. 

"Their poor families..."

"They aren't taking it well," He sighed, "But that's expected."

"I can't imagine losing-" She stopped for a moment, and her eyes met Gaara's the same time he looked up at her. Something in her gaze made him frown as well, and he reached out to take her hands.

"Hey," He said softly, "Nothing will happen. They could have just fallen, for all we know." 

Though she knew it was unlikely, she still appreciated him trying to comfort her in some small way. Momoko wasn't the one who needed comforting right now, she thought sadly, but there wasn't much she could do besides hope for the best.

"What flowers did you bring me?" He asked, trying to pull her from her sad thoughts.

Momoko offered him a small smile, looking over to the bouquet on the side table, "Blue bells and baby breath. It's simple, but I thought it was pretty."

"It is," He nodded in agreement, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," She replied, before looking back to his desk, "A whole week and you've still got all this work?"

"It grows by the day, I'm afraid," Gaara said, his eyes leaving hers to look back down at the mess.

"You don't have to come over every night, you know," She mused, "If you need to stay later, I understand."

He sighed, leaning back in his chair to look up at her a little more directly. "I much prefer being with you than being here."

"But I'm so boring," She joked, a sly little smile coming to her lips, "Surely I can't be any more fun than your work,"

"On the contrary," He replied, a small smile of his own now spreading, "I think you're _very_ fun."

"Oh really?" Momoko asked, moving a little more in front of him so that she could hop up to sit on the edge of the desk, "And what's so fun about me?"

"A few things come to mind," He said, his hands coming to rest on either side of her thighs, "None of which are very appropriate for the workplace."

"We can't have that," She mused, her hands coming to rest over his, "And we especially can't have you getting _distracted_ with so much to do, Lord Kazekage."

She let her legs spread just a little wider, her dress riding up higher on her thighs and as soon as he saw that one particular clothing article was missing, his eyes shot up to hers with that now familiar fire in them.

"Are you teasing me, _Miss. Akiyama_?"

"Teasing you?" She feigned innocence, despite the tone of his voice making her shiver, "I would _never_."

Despite her words, she let her legs spread a little wider and Gaara nearly stood from his chair, if it wasn't for her placing her heel to his chest and pushing him back down.

"Ah ah ah," Momoko scolded lightly, a mischievous glint in her eye, "You've got far too much work,"

Gaara groaned, reluctantly staying seated, "But-"

"No buts!" She said, closing her legs again, much to his dismay, "There will be plenty of time for _that_ later. For now, though, you do need to focus."

"You're cruel," He grumbled as she slid off the desk to stand in front of him.

With a little giggle, she took his face into her hands and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. He returned it, enjoying the feeling of having her near again despite just seeing her hours ago, and nearly pulled her closer when she pulled away. Unfortunately, though, he knew better. As much as he wanted to bend her over the desk and have his way with her, there were too many things that needed his attention today.

"I'll see you tonight, okay?" She offered with a bright smile, and he nodded with one of his own, "I love you,"

"I love you too," He replied, and watched the way her eyes still went soft despite hearing it so much this last week.

With another quick kiss to his lips and a goodbye, Momoko left him to his piles of work. 

As she made her way out of his office, Momoko's mind couldn't help but trail back to what he had said earlier about the two guards. Despite life having gone back to normal, some things around them had just started to feel a little strange. From the lavender, to the man at the wedding, and now the dead guards- was it just coincidental that all of these things were happening? It must have been, she couldn't really see the connection between the first two events and what had happened last nice. In any case, she figured she shouldn't worry herself with anything. She wasn't a shinobi, couldn't contribute any real help to anything, so all she could really do is sit back and hope for the waters to die down.

As she passed the front desk, she froze at the sight of her flowers- maybe there was something she could do. Instead of heading right for the doors, Momoko approached the desk again where Hana turned to meet her eye.

"Need something?" She asked with her usual chipper smile, and Momoko nodded with determination in her eye.

"Do you have the addresses of the families of the two men who were killed last night?"

"I think so," She asked, turning to sift through some of the papers on her desk, "What do you need them for?"

"I want to give my condolences," Momoko said, smiling slightly as Hana jotted them on a notecard and handed it to her.

"You're too kind, Momoko," Hana said warmly, "It's gonna be the death of you one day."

With a little snicker, Momoko bid her farewell before leaving the Kazekage Tower with new purpose.

The next morning Momoko woke up a little earlier than usual and left the shop with two large and beautiful bouquets in hand.


	36. I’m So Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit starts to go down! We’re reaching the last arc of the story and it’s getting a little intense! So this is the warning for these next few chapters, there will be blood and violence, and quite a bit of psychological torture. I’ll note at the beginning of the chapters what content they have. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to give me your feedback- I always enjoy hearing from you guys! 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!

"It's alright," She laughed softly, giving his chest a light push, "Go ahead, Gaara. I can handle one night on my own."

"I know you can." He said with a small frown, placing his hands over hers, "I don't like changing plans on you."

"Your work is a little more important than cuddling," Momoko snickered, "Really, I'll be alright."

"If you're sure," Gaara sighed, then glanced over her shoulder into the house, "Lock your doors and windows tonight." 

"I will!" She nodded, "Now go! You don't want to get yelled at." 

"I'm the Kazekage," He replied, "Who's going to yell at me?"

"I will, if you keep it up." She snickered, and he smiled slightly at the sound of it.

He brushed a hand against her cheek and Momoko smiled as she leaned into the touch. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," He said, his words low and his eyes a little tender.

She looked up at him, her smile warm and her gaze soft. 

"Tomorrow," She replied with a nod, then stood on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. He returned it just as he always had and always would.

Momoko watched him walk down the stairs, how the setting sun hit the red of his hair and made it nearly glow. She couldn't quite place the feeling that had started to form in her heart; maybe it was a more tender form of love, or maybe it was something more akin to melancholy, but Momoko called out to him as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Gaara," He stopped at the last step, hand still on the railing, as he turned to look back up at her, "You're the love of my life,"

The words made him smile and the look in his eyes was made warmer by the setting sun. Right then he looked the happiest she had ever seen him, with tender eyes and the warm glow of the sun on his pale cheeks. It occurred to her that this may have been the most handsome that she had ever seen him; love looked wonderful on Gaara. 

"And you're mine," He replied with all sincerity, and Momoko couldn't help the way her heart still fluttered for him even after all this time.

She watched him until he was just a red blur in the distance and until he was gone from sight completely, all the while leaning against the railing with a warm feeling inside of her.

It looked like tonight would be one of few that she spent alone. That was alright, she could handle one late night at the office. It had been nearly a month now since they had come home, and life had been nothing short of bliss. They were content to be in this new routine of working during the day, spending the nights together, and waking up side by side in the morning. The pair had made it a habit of going back to Gaara's house a few times a week to have dinner with his siblings, and on those nights Momoko would stay with him.

All in all, Momoko was the happiest she had ever been. Her shop was running smoothly, her boyfriend loved her as much as she loved him, she got on well with his siblings and they adored her as much as she adored them. Sakura had even started to write a little more often, even Naruto once or twice, and it was a nice addition to her days when she saw that she received a letter. It felt like everything was finally falling into place, and Momoko was thrilled to have such a wonderful life.

She spent most of the night just enjoying herself, reading through a botany book Gaara had gotten for her a few days ago. He had been on his way over to her house after work and saw it in the window of a shop, so he bought it just before they closed. Every time she opened the book, she smiled at the thought of who had given it to her in the first place.

When she came to Suna, the last thing on her mind had been love. She was still drained from Naruto and the loss of her parents, so love hadn't felt like a priority just yet. Standing before the Kazekage for the first time, asking him for his permission to open shop, she would have never guessed that he would be the love of her life. And yet, loving him had come so easily to her, and she was head over heels before even realizing what had happened in the first place.

Momoko lay in bed that night, a little lonely in the big space, but she passed the time by letting her thoughts wander to the future.

They had talked about it again only once- well, it was more a passing comment than anything, but Momoko thought about it nearly every day since. She had been reading with her head in his lap, and he was content with running his fingers through her hair and memorizing features he knew by heart. She noticed he was staring and looked up at him, asked what was on his mind, and he said simply,

_"I hope they have your eyes."_

His words had been a little distant (she daresay dreamy) and Momoko couldn't help but sit up and kiss him breathless.

She fell asleep with a little smile on her lips

She had been spending a lot of time lately thinking about their future, their lives. Momoko pictured Gaara reading to a child, his voice smooth and lulling them to sleep as they rested against his shoulder. She thought of how he'd look with a baby in his arms or one in his lap, and for the first time in so very long her children had faces again. Maybe one or two would have her eyes, but she wanted at least one of them to have his; Gaara had such pretty green eyes, it'd be a shame if he didn't pass it on. She also hoped they all had his red hair, finding the color far more interesting than her own golden blonde. They would have soft smiles and good manners, would know how to garden and lead and treat everyone with kindness.

As much as she adored life now, Momoko couldn't wait for the future. It wouldn't be any time soon, not a month from now and probably not even a year, but she didn't mind. She was enjoying what they had now, their own lives with their own responsibilities. As wonderful as it would be to be married already, even she couldn't deny the desire for her independence just a little longer. Momoko knew that when it did come time to settle down and have children, the shop would likely close.

She was alright with the idea of that, honestly. Though it had been the main reason for moving and her parents dream, she could stand the idea of closing it to pursue her own. Her parents would approve of it too; they knew how much she wanted a family. Maybe when her own children were grown she would open the store again and they could help her, maybe even take it over themselves if they really wanted to. However it played out, Momoko trusted that whatever decision she made would be the right one.

Her dreamless sleep was interrupted halfway through the night by a cool breeze. It didn't rouse her immediately, but it slowly chilled the parts of her that weren't covered by her quilt. When it grew a little too cold, Momoko slowly started to awaken from her sleep with a shiver. She shifted a few times, trying to turn over away from the cold but it had seeped into her bones a little too much to go back to bed just yet. Slowly she opened her eyes, trying to make sense of the world for a moment before she turned over to face the window.

It was open and the currents billowed in the night breeze. She blinked a few times, trying to put her thoughts together as she sat up slowly in bed. It didn't take too long until she was a little more aware that the window shouldn't be open, especially since she had made it a point to lock every single one. Momoko stared at it, the fog of sleep lifting from her mind and the pit in her stomach beginning to form. 

"I didn't want to scare you," Someone spoke from the corner of the room, and Momoko yelped as she turned to look at him.

A man sat in the armchair, his hands folded neatly in his lap as she faced her. The stranger wore a mask over his face and a hood on his head, and Momoko could only see a sliver of his eyes in the moonlight. She scrambled back on the bed, her heart suddenly pounding in her ears.

"W-Who are you?!"

"My name is Hikaru," He replied, before pulling the mask from his face and his hood down. 

He would have been handsome, had it not been for the scars that marred his skin. The corner of his mouth was twisted back and torn all the way to his ear and his temple looked as though someone had taken a blade and carved out chunks of his skin. Despite these scars, his eyes were surprisingly kind and his black hair was tousled about in a messy way. Though he showed no signs of hostility or looked threatening in any way, Momoko was terrified.

Her eyes flickered to the door and the action made him frown.

"Please don't try to run," Hikaru said, "I don't want to hurt you."

His words may have been reassuring but Momoko didn't feel reassured in the slightest. Her stomach was still weak and her heart was beating so loud in her ears that she could hardly hear the gentle tenor of his voice.

"I need you to come with me, Momoko." He continued, but the moment he stood Momoko's nerves finally gave way.

She threw the covers off of her and made a mad dash to the door, but the second it was open she ran right into a firm chest. Momoko opened her mouth, ready to scream as loud as her voice would let her, but this new stranger placed his hand over her mouth and wrapped an arm around her. He crushed her against his body, and Momoko kicked and screamed as hard as she could as Hikaru came behind her and tied her hands together.

For a moment the hand left her mouth, and she managed to get out the beginnings of a name before fabric was shoved between her teeth and tied far too tightly behind her head.

"Told you talking wouldn't work, dumbass." The broader man said as he threw Momoko over his shoulder, paying no mind to how she struggled and screamed against him.

"I just thought-"

"I _know_ what you thought." He hissed, and Hikaru went silent, "Now come on, we've gotta be back by sunrise."

Without a word, and without any attention to the terrified woman trying to plead through the gag, the two men made their way to the window and jumped to the ground below. The streetlight had been busted and she could just barely make out the three other darkly dressed figures that stood in front of her shop. One of them was standing in the frame of the kicked down door, her wreath ruined and prettily carved wood cracked. She could just make out the movement of hand signs and before she could even let out another scream a ball of fire was sent right into the shop.

It was almost instant, the way the fire inside had caught the flowers and started to brun. Momoko struggled harder now, the growing flames reflecting the tears that had started to well in her eyes. With every kick or thrash she gave, the fire consumed more and more of her shop and started to climb its way up to her home.

She was thrown onto the ground and it knocked the breath from her lungs, but before she could process what was happening someone grabbed a fist-full of her hair and pulled her to sit on her knees. The pain that shot through her scalp made the tears fall, and she let out a sharp yelp against the gag in her mouth. Her hair was tugged back and she was forced to look up to the building that was slowly being consumed by flames. The fire had gotten hotter, climbing up the sides of the building and the popping the glass of her windows.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru said in her ear, before she felt the grip in her hair tighten.

A dull blade began to saw its way through her hair, tugging painfully at strands as it sliced through the long blond locks. Momoko could only weep, her throat coarse and her body shaking as she watched her whole life burn before her eyes. She couldn't understand- _why_ was this happening? What had she done to deserve this?

The last few strands hurt the most, but once they were worked through she felt a relief on her scalp and she fell forward into the sand. She saw the hair thrown in front of her, the severed strands twinkling in the firelight as they fell to the ground in heaps. Her hair was the least of her concerns right now, all she could do was helplessly stare at the burning building as tears streamed down her face.

Everything she had left of her parents- the notes they left, their photos, their books, everything that belonged to them in this word was in flames. Her flowers were already destroyed, each beautiful bloom that she had lovingly grown since they were seeds was nothing but ash now. Her whole life, gone in the matter of minutes.

She didn't fight when she was lifted up into someone's arms, her head lulling back as she tried to look past him and keep the fire in her line of sight. Hikaru held her a little closer to his chest, and if she had been looking, she may have seen the frown on his lips before he pulled his mask back into place.

"I'm so sorry," He choked, and that was all she heard as the fire grew further and further away.

When they passed through the cliffs and gates of Suna, Momoko watched the smoke that climbed high in the sky before her whole world went dark.


	37. The Endless Ballroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to address something that I think may raise a few questions. I really wanted to explore the idea of Gaara’s sand being it’s own separate entity to him (since it is, canonically, his mother) so I’m playing with the idea that it’s able to and does actively function without him. Some of you may not agree with that idea, so I wanted to address it before the start of this arc. 
> 
> **Chapter contains slight psychological trauma**
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and I look forward to your feedback! Hope you enjoy!

Someone was saying his name.

It could have been a citizen, a coworker, a councilman, or his siblings. There was a hand on his arm, someone trying to talk to him, but the only thing he could focus on were the embers at his feet and the golden hair held tightly in his fist.

He should have stayed. He should have been there. He should have saved her. 

He knew she wasn't dead; whoever had taken her had made it a point to let him know that by leaving her hair outside. They wanted him to know she didn't die in the fire, she was just _gone_. He didn't know what to focus on: who had taken her, where she was, if she was alright, the smell of carbon in the air, the bubbling anger in his blood. He wanted to scream, tear apart every inch of the Land of Wind until he found her again, but all he could do right now was stare at the ashes.

Sand twirled the strands of her hair before moving to brush against his white knuckles in a way he knew was meant to comfort. Maybe it had comforted him once before, but it didn't now. The sand brushed his skin again but Gaara didn't turn his eyes away. Instead he stood, shoulders trembling, someone still talking to him, and tried to find the reason amongst the _rage_.

"I don't know what you are," He spoke, his words low and dangerous, and the sand stilled against his skin, "But I need your help."

The sand moved again, now with a frenzy as it swirled up his arm and seemed to wrap tightly around it as though it was waiting for his next command.

" _Find her._ "

It fell from him to the ground, and Gaara finally turned his eyes from the embers to watch the way tendrils of sand circled his feet for a moment before scurrying away in every direction.

Whoever had taken her was going to pay. _Dearly_.

The first thing she felt was someone's hands running through her hair.

Next was how cold it was, the draft on the back of her neck, and how cool the surface she laid on was.

Last was the pain in her wrists, her shoulders, and then the rest of her body.

She shifted, groaned, and it took a moment for the world to come back into view as she opened her eyes. Every part of her ached and every subtle movement made her joints scream with strain. The more aware she became, the more aware she was of how her arms were fixed behind her back by some kind of metal cuffs.

At first she was confused, unable to understand where she was or what was going on, until the memories came flooding back and she sat up with a start. The fingers left her hair, and the movement was followed by a yelp as a sharp pain shot up her back.

"Shh," A smooth voice soothed and the hands were back, "The more you move, the more it'll hurt."

Momoko turned her eyes from the stone floor and looked up, trailing over a clean satin kimono the color of ivory and crimson, up an exposed chest and to two amber eyes that stared intently down at her.

His face was sharp, his nose a little pointed and his smile sickeningly sweet. Long ivory hair flowed down his shoulders in a straight white curtain, pooling on the floor as he sat in front of her. His skin was paler than anyone she had seen before, nearly the color of his hair and kimono. Just as the rest of his face, his gaze was sharp and a little cold, despite the warm hues of amber that looked down at her. When he reached out for her again, Momoko noticed how his nails were long and finely pointed.

He cupped her face, tilting her head up with his cold touch and had she not been so scared, she would have jerked away from him.

"Hikaru did a horrible job cutting your hair, the brute," He said, his words smooth as honey, "Don't worry, though. I've fixed it."

The man pulled one hand away to grab a small gold mirror beside him, and he held it up for her to see.

She didn't focus on her hair at first, instead on how dirty she was. Her thin blue nightgown was covered with sand and dirt, torn a little at the hem, but she was too worried about other things to focus on how high it was riding on her thighs. There were angry rashes around her mouth and cheeks, no doubt from where the fabric had been tied too tight. Momoko stared at herself, recognizing the wide look in her eyes to be unfiltered _fear_.

"Well?"

As he had said, her hair had been styled nicely. It fell just to her chin now in a wavy bob- it looked as though a professional had done it, but from the bit of pride on his face, Momoko could tell it was him who had done the job. Had she wanted it, or even seen it on someone else, she would have thought it looked rather nice.

But she couldn't bring herself to compliment any part of this. She didn't understand who this strange man was or why he was acting so oddly; the only thing she was certain of was her own reflection, but even then she could hardly recognize herself. Momoko had never been in danger before, never come face to face with a bad shinobi or genuine threat. The fear that was so obvious on her face made her look foregin even to her own eyes.

"I think it suits you." He said calmly when no reply came, then set the mirror down again.

She looked around him to where they were. It looked like the inside of a tent of sorts, with a decently sized bed tucked into the corner and table and a standing mirror on the opposite wall. It was bigger than any tent she had been inside of, with enough room for her to still be a little ways from the bed and still move freely. There was a rug over most of the stone floor, but not where she sat leaning against the wall. Behind the wall of the tent was more stone, the surface jagged and digging uncomfortably into her already aching back.

The longer she looked around, the more the world came back to her and the weight of the situation sat on her shoulders, the harder her heart beat and the more nauseous she became. Her breathing picked up with her heart, and she nearly began to hyperventilate as the reality of the world came crashing down.

"Shhh," He soothed, and Momoko turned his eyes to him as his hands came back to cup her face, "There's no need to panic. I won't harm you."

"W-Who are you?" She barely managed to ask, her throat hoarse from all of the screaming she had done the night before. 

"My name is Yoshio," He said with a smile, as though he was casually introducing himself on the street, "I've waited a very long time to meet you, Momoko Akiyama."

"H-How do you know my name?" She asked, trying to move her head from his hands but finding that the wall she sat against prevented her from doing so.

"I know more than your name, my dear," Yoshio soothed, his thumbs now skimming across her cheeks in what she assumed was meant to comfort her, "I nearly forgot how beautiful you are. A pity."

_You really are lovely, Momoko. Such a pity that it should go to waste._

"Y-You were at the wedding," She gasped, her voice not managing much volume but the surprise clear in it.

"I was," He smiled a sickeningly sweet smile, "You looked marvelous that night. I'm glad you got to have such fun while you still could."

The words rattled in her brain, echoing like some gruesome chant.

"W-What do you want from me?" Momoko asked, feeling the familiar sting of tears behind her eyes, "I-I don't have a lot of money, or-"

"It's not _you_ I want," He said, his words a little colder as he stopped stroking her cheeks, "It's _him_."

She tried to understand, tried to put two thoughts together about why she may be here and what she had to do with anything. Who was he talking about? Who-

"Gaara?" She gasped, and the smile curled to something a little more sinister.   


It was the first time she had thought about him since opening her eyes today. She had been so concerned with where she was, who she was with, that the thoughts of her love had escaped her mind completely. At the reminder that he was out there, likely already tearing the world apart to find her, Momoko tried to take comfort. He may not be here now, but he would be soon, so Momoko just had to be brave for as long as her courage would allow her.

" _Gaara_." He repeated, his words dripping with venom, " 'The one who only loves himself'. Fitting, isn't it?

She blinked owlishly at him, trying to think of a moment when she had even considered Gaara to be like his namesake. Slowly, her loyalty taking over a little more despite her fear, Momoko shook her head.

"N-No," She protested weakly, "It isn't."

He snickered, low and menacing, and held her face just a little tighter.

"Why do you think that, I wonder?" Yoshio mused, "Surely you know what he's done, and yet even though you sit here in this strange place, broken and bruised, you're defending the very _thing_ that got you into this mess."

So that's what this was. It had something to do with Gaara, she could tell that by the venom that his words now dripped with and the sickening gleam in his eyes that made her stomach turn. Momoko still didn't understand exactly what was happening or why, but she could tell through her fear that it wasn't her that Yoshio was after.

"D-Don't hurt him," She breathed, her heart hammering in her ears, "P-Please, don't hurt him!"

"How strange," He cackled, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're genuinely in love with him. But that can't be true, no one would willingly love that _monster_!"

"He's not a monster!" Momoko argued, her throat coarse and words quick.

Her passionate cry made his smile drop and his face grow cold, and Momoko could feel his pointed nails digging into the sides of her face. He jerked her face up a little higher to meet his eyes better, and the look in them made the bile of her stomach threaten to crawl up into her throat.

"What has he done to make you think this way? _Feel_ this way?" He asked, a bite to his words, "What lies has he filled that pretty little head with?"

Something about his eyes had shifted, and Momoko watched startled as the amber of his iris began to expand, seeping slowly into the whites of his eyes. Momoko felt something inside of her tighten up and a strange fog begin to seep into the corners of her mind. He kept his grip on her face tight, despite how Momoko had begun to shift and try to pull from his grasp. Still, she couldn't seem to pull her gaze away from his as much as she tried, some strange feeling forcing her to keep his eyes as the amber color took over his eyes completely.

" _Lets see, shall we?_ "

The whole world went black, and Momoko felt like her back had just hit the surface of water as the air escaped her lungs. For a moment she couldn't breath, couldn't feel her body or the hands on her face- were there hands on her face? She was sinking but she could still inhale, her lungs filling with water but nothing at all, and in the back of her mind Gaara's words echoed.

_It was...what I imagine drowning feels like._

_What I imagine drowning feels like._

_Drowning feels like._

_Drowning_.

She woke up with a start, sitting up in bed on the verge of hyperventilation. Momoko held tightly to herself, feeling the sweat on her skin and the erratic thumping of her heart.

"Momoko?"

The voice was soft, rough from sleep but it calmed her instantly as she recognized it. She turned and looked to him as he stared up at her with tired green eyes and the sight of them made her relax just a bit. So it was all a dream. Just some horrible, horrible dream. Momoko stared at him, tears beginning to well in her eyes, and the moment he saw them Gaara lifted the blanket for her and she dove right into his arms. 

"I-It was horrible!" She sobbed, holding to him tightly as his arms came to wrap around her, "M-My shop was burned, a-and they cut my hair, a-and-"

"Shh," He soothed, running his fingers through her long strands, "Just breathe."

She went quiet, trying to find herself and her breath as she lay against his chest. His fingers kept threading through her hair, admiring the beautiful golden strands in the moonlight that seeped into the room, and Momoko relaxed a little more at the soothing gesture. Finally, after what could have been just seconds or whole hours, her breathing evened out and the tears dried. She rested against his skin, enjoying the warmth and comfort that being in his arms brought. He continued to hold her close, his fingers running through her long hair.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," She said softly against his chest, and he gave a low hum in return.

They sat in silence for a while, Momoko listening to the slow and steady beat of his heart, and was very nearly lulled back to sleep until she heard him speak with a voice that wasn't his own.

" _This_ is how you see him?" He asked with smooth words, "I knew he was cruel, but this is too much even for him."

The voice made her blood run cold, and Momoko pushed herself away from him instantly. He looked the same, his eyes still green and his hair still crimson, but the smile on his lips was sickening. Momoko scrambled away from him, but instead of falling off the bed her back was met with a hard wall. Gaara- no, it wasn't him- stood and turned to look at her, the bedroom having fallen away to an empty darkness with just the two of them inside.

"W-What is this?" She gasped, her hands pressed flat to the wall behind her, and her knees shook so hard they threatened to give out.

She tried to come to grips with this shift of reality, tried to understand what was real or what wasn't. Was she in the tent or in her bedroom, or was she here in this dark space with Gaara- no, _Yoshio_? It had to be Yoshio. Momoko tried to remember the words Naruto had told her once years and years ago, trying to explain the different justus to her. This was ninjutsu? No- no it was _genjustu_ ,she remembered being horrified when he explained it to her. It was all just an illusion, wasn't it? None of this was real-

"This isn't an illusion," Yoshio said, his lips curled into a smile as he walked closer to her, and Momoko tried to press herself further and further into the invisible wall behind her, "I'm just taking a little peek into your memories. Care to join me?"

He offered her an arm, a sick replication of what the real Gaara would always do, but Momoko didn't spring to take it like she usually would. Her heart was beating so loud she wasn't entirely certain that he couldn't hear it as well. Momoko wanted to stay in place, will herself to melt in the wall and try to convince herself this wasn't real and remind herself of what was.

Yoshio seemed to have other plans, because Momoko's body was jerked off the wall by an invisible force and she was dragged forward to his side.

"There's no need to be afraid," He soothed, the pale green of his eyes taking on a gleam she had never seen in them before, "I merely want to look."

Momoko looked down at his arm, then back up to him. He still looked like Gaara, wore his face and his hair and his eyes, but nothing about him was like Gaara at all. The look in his eyes was cocky and the smile he wore nearly curled at the edges of his lips; it was a terrifying look on her love's face.

"S-Stop it," She barely managed to breathe out, fear gripping tightly to her, "D-Don't look like this, d-don't-"

"Alright, alright," He cooed, and his features morphed from Gaara's back into his own with what looked like a twirling of a glittering wind.

His hair had been neatly pulled back with a bow, and the clothes he now wore were something like the princes in the books her mother had read to her as a child. It was a little more western in style, with gold tassels and a red sash across his chest. Maybe it was his way of trying to put her at ease, by dressing like the gentlemen he obviously wanted her to see him as, but Momoko wasn't comforted by the sight in the slightest.

"I like to look my best for important events, don't you?" Yoshio asked, offering her his arm again.

With a feeling that he wouldn't take kindly to a second rejection, Momoko reached out and took his arm, only now realizing how horribly her body was trembling.

The moment she looped her arm in his, her dirty nightgown was changed into something prettier: a ball gown of gold and glitter. Her long hair had fallen away and the shortened strands pulled back and out of her face, and when Momoko looked back up, she realized they were standing in front of a mirror of sorts. The gown was beautiful, with its puffy layers and satin elbow-length gloves, but despite the fancy style of her hair or the makeup that now covered her face, Momoko didn't feel one bit the princess Yoshio tried to make her.

The darkness around them had changed, and she looked past him to see that they stood in a ballroom that she couldn't quite see the edges of. It seemed to stretch on forever, with mirrors on either side and a glass ceiling overhead.

"You should feel special. Usually I don't go through all this trouble to look into someone's mind." Yoshio said at her side, and Momoko was reminded of her arm in his own, "But I thought I'd make an exception for you."

She didn't reply, instead tried to swallow the lump in her throat as he took a step forward and she followed reluctantly.

For a while, the only sounds in this endless ballroom were her slippers clicking against the marble floors. Her eyes darted nervously around them, from the stars beyond the glass ceiling to the mirrors on either side of them that only held their reflection. Beside her, Yoshio was silent, but the smile on his lips had faded to something a little more- dare she say it- sincere.

"Shall we start at the beginning?" He asked politely, "Or just where it all went wrong?"

The second option scared her more than she wanted to admit, so she tried to push down the nerves that clawed their way into her throat. Though she wasn't quite sure what he meant by 'where it all went wrong', the beginning sounded far kinder.

"T-The beginning, please." She said quietly, feeling entirely too small as she walked by his side.

There was only silence for a moment longer, before the faint sound of laughter filled the air. She didn't recognize it at first, a little too terrified to pay attention to anything but the tall man beside her, but the closer they got, the more she realized who that laughter belonged to. 

She looked beside her to the mirrors on her side of the room, and realized that her reflection had changed. She was a young girl again, with her little blonde pigtails and arms full of a furry white cat as she walked through the halls of her childhood home. Momoko couldn't help but stare at the young girl, who laughed as the cat tried to scramble away.

_Momoko!_

She recognized the voice to be her mother's, and she nearly stopped had it not been for her feet disobeying her completely.

"Ah ah ah," Yoshio said, "We must keep moving."

Momoko watched her mother appear in the next mirror, now holding the little girl's hand as they walked in sync through what she recognized to be the market in Konoha. The sight brought tears to her eyes: her mother was there, smiling and laughing as a young version of herself held her hand and excitedly pointed out the things she wanted at nearly every stall.

She could hear pieces of conversations in the air, some that fit the reflections she saw but most just important things the important people in her life had once told her.

 _Your thumb may be greener than mine, my dove,_ Her father's deep voice rumbled fondly.

The next mirror had her father on her other side, his smile as childish as always as he held one of her hands while her mother held the other. She was a little older now, but they still lifted her from the ground and swung her too and fro in the field they walked through.

 _I'll tell you a secret my mother used to tell me,_ Her mother's voice whispered somewhere, _The people we lose never really leave us. They turn into stars, so they're always there. We just need to look up._

She was a little older in her reflection now, walking next to Naruto as he talked on and on about training that day. Her eyes were bright, her chubby little cheeks pink and her feet nearly tripping over themselves as she followed him.

"Ah, young love," Yoshio cooed beside her, but she didn't pay him any mind.

 _Your dress is all wet-hey!,_ A splash followed Naruto's voice, then there was laughter from the both of them. 

A teenaged Momoko walked Naruto to the gate, her hand held tightly in his and tears streaming down her cheeks. He didn't look much better, but even from the reflection alone she could remember how his hand shook as it held hers.

 _I'm always going to love you, Momoko,_ His watery voice bounced off the walls, _No matter where we go or who we end up with, it's always going to be you._

Her reflection was in the field, and she had just picked up her skirts to meet Naruto halfway before he took her up into his arms and kissed her for the very first time.

"You two made quite the pair," Yoshio commented, but Momoko couldn't tear her glassy eyes away from the mirrors beside her, "It's a shame that things didn't work."

She was walking with flowers in her hand, her dress black and her eyes a little empty. It was raining, and the mud ruined her shoes as she climbed up the side of the hill to the cherry blossom tree that sat at the top. Just before they reached the edge of the mirror, her reflection dropped to her knees before the stone and wept.

 _You are the greatest thing that's ever happened to us, Momoko._ Her mother gasped breathlessly, and her father followed with a shaky, _We love you so much_. 

"I-I want to stop," Momoko said, tears running down her cheeks at her parents' words died out. Still, her feet didn't allow her to stop and Yoshio's arm in hers tightened just slightly.

"Just a little more," He said, and if she didn't know any better, she would have thought he meant to reassure her, "We're nearly to the end."

She didn't want to know what the end was; was it where her memories ended or the present day? Or the last day she had been in Suna? Momoko sniffled but went on, turning her eyes from Yoshio to the mirrors again.

Now she was walking to the gates of Konoha with Sakura at one side and Ino on the other, Naruto following a little ways away with an empty look in his eyes. Sakura was holding her hand tightly, and for the first time the words that echoed through the endless ballroom were in sync with the image she saw.

 _Promise me you'll come back? Or send letters? Why not both?_ Sakura's voice sounded in her ears for the first time, and Momoko watched her hold her hands tightly in her own before the edge of the mirror cut off the image.

Instead of another memory, it was her own reflection as she was now, in the big glittering ball gown with her arm in Yoshio's. Finally, they came to a stop and faced this mirror completely, her feet listening to her for the first time since they started.

"You've lived a beautiful life." Yoshio said beside her, "I envy you and your happiness."

Momoko looked up at him and saw the frown on his lips and the way he stared at the reflection in front of them with what she thought may have been sadness. She stared up at him as she wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to understand his moods that seemed to shift with each change of the wind.

"A-Are you not happy?"

He seemed surprised by her words, as though he hadn't expected her to say anything at all, before he looked down to meet her eyes. Momoko searched his amber gaze for some form of humanity, some sincerity that showed her that he really was a person beneath all the curled smiles and sinister chuckles.

"No," Yoshio answered softly, "I'm not."

To her own surprise, her sympathy overcame her fear, and Momoko hesitated a moment before placing her free hand over his arm. He looked down at it, his eyes boring into her gloved hand, and Momoko willed herself to not move the touch away.

"What happened?" She asked, her words barely above a whisper.

 _Welcome to Sunagakure_ , A velvety voice echoed off the walls, and Momoko recognized it instantly, _And good luck_.

The words instantly made Yoshio's eyes grow colder and he looked away from her hand to the reflection in front of him. Momoko looked as well and this time saw Gaara standing on the other side of her, his eyes boring into hers as he simply stood and stared.

" _He_ happened."

Momoko blinked, but when she opened her eyes again, they were no longer standing in front of the mirrors in the vast ballroom. This time they seemed to be standing in the middle of the memories, Yoshio's arm still held tightly in her own as he eagerly watched the images play out in front of them. She turned her attention to them, too, and watched the entirety of her life in Suna unfold before her eyes. The world around them changed rapidly, and Momoko saw herself and Gaara in every moment of her life.

They were standing in the street, Kankuro's retreating back still in view.

 _Blue._ Gaara's voice echoed, _Light blue._

They were in her shop on opening day, Gaara on one side and her on the other as they sneaked glances to each other in the light of the evening. 

_I'll see you in the morning, then?_

She was standing before his desk, a big bouquet of crimson lilies held tightly in her hands.

_Think of it as a continued investment in your shop._

They were sitting across from each other, Gaara's eyes falling to look at the cup of tea on his desk in front of him.

_Do you think less of me for it?_

The world around them gave a tremble and Momoko nearly looked away from the shifting memories.

_I remember it hurting, worse than any pain I had felt before. And then...it was gone. And I was alone, not alive and yet somehow not entirely dead._

They were sitting in his office again, one of their many lunches, as Gaara looked at her a little wide-eyed. 

_Momoko, is this going to be a date?_

It was in front of her shop, under the streetlight.

 _I want to feel this,_ Gaara's voice echoed around them, _I want to feel you._

They were on top of the roof, overlooking the village. Momoko heard her own words for the very first time.

_I think you deserve so much more than what you think you do. I think you've paid for what you've done in the past, and then some. I think you don't realize how wonderful you are and how much you mean to people. How much you mean to me._

The world gave another rumble, this time the shaking nearly knocked her off her feet, forcing her to cling a little tighter to Yoshio. The endlessness seemed to be getting closer, the edges of her memories beginning to turn black and the images seeming to flicker out for just a few seconds.

"Y-Yoshio?" She gulped, looking up at him as his eyes stayed fixed onto the memories that flashed around them.

_What a wonderful thing it is, to be yours._

The hotel in Konoha, both of them sitting on the bed, her hand in his.

_We'll be fine, my dear._

Standing near the window, tears running down her cheeks. 

_If I could change for you, I would, but I...I don't know if I can, no matter how hard I try._

They were on the roof again, pretty music in the air and the figures of her memories swaying slowly.

_Because I love you, Momoko. And I want nothing more than to give you a long and happy life._

And then it was his smile. The happiest she had ever seen him, with tender eyes and the warm glow of the setting sun. 

_And you're mine._

The world went dark after that, Yoshio's grip falling away and her gown dissolving to the floor in a flurry of ash and dust. The memories and mirrors were gone, and she was left alone again in the endless darkness. She tried to reach out for him, to feel him- or really anything- nearby, but her hands only met open space. 

"Yoshio?!" Momoko called into the darkness, beginning to feel the fear return as she wandered aimlessly in the darkness around her.

There was only silence, not even the echoing of her steps or the sound of her own breathing. She tried to walk forward but it felt like she was going nowhere, nothing but darkness on either side of her that was so thick she couldn't see her own hands when she reached out. Momoko began to worry that he had somehow just left her here to wander in this emptiness, and the thought of it put a pit in her stomach that shook her to her core. She didn't know what he was thinking, what else he was planning, but this silence was excruciating.

"I thought that you may have been innocent in this, that he just tricked you with his sweet words," His voice finally sounded, and the venom in his words made her blood run cool, "But you're just as bad as he is!"

_I didn't know you then, I didn't know who you were or what you were going through. I still don't know exactly everything that happened, but I don't need to. I know you now, and that's all that matters._

Her own words didn't echo, they were loud and blaring in her ears, and Momoko clasped her hands tightly over them to try and protect herself from the sheer volume. 

_B-Because it happened so long ago a-and we didn't know each other then but...You've been so good to me since I first got here, a-and already one of the greatest friends I've ever know._

She yelped, the loud words somehow undeterred by her hands over her ears, and her eardrums pounded from the booming voices.

_I think you deserve so much more than what you think you do. I think you've paid for what you've done in the past, and then some._

"Stop it!" She cried over the voices as they pounded against her ears, tears welling in her eyes because of the hammering against her head from the volume of the thunderous words. "Stop!"

There were suddenly hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look up as nails dug into her skin and pierced deep into her flesh. She yelped, trying to move away as she looked up to see Yoshio holding her tightly, his eyes bright and burning with anger as blood began to stream down her arms. It didn't feel like normal nails piercing her skin, it felt like acid burning and seeping its way into her veins, and she thrashed in his hold.

"How dare you!" He yelled, his voice as loud as the ones that had beat against her ears, "How dare you offer him forgiveness that wasn't yours to give!"

"He's changed!" She yelled back, tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggled to move away from him, "He deserved closure!"

"You had no right to forgive him for actions that never hurt you!" Yoshio yelled back, and she saw the fire that burned in his amber eyes, "He's a monster! He always has been, no matter how many lies you tell him!"

"They're not lies!" She screamed, finally opening her eyes to look at him despite the pain that made her whole body tremble, "Because he isn't a monster! He never has been!"

These words brought a grin to his lips, wide and sickening and Momoko's knees nearly gave out from the fear that racked through her core.

"Why don't I show you, then!?" He laughed, and Momoko watched, horrified, as his skin twisted and curled back into Gaara again, "I'll show you the Gaara _I_ know!"

His change didn't stop, instead his pale skin twisted back to something darker, sand coming to twist half of his features back in tan and violet markings. The pale green of his eyes shifted to black, amber iris staring at her with a crazed grin spread across Gaara's face. She screamed as the nails in her arms turned to large talons, digging so deep she feared he may tear her arm off entirely.

She didn't recognize this Gaara, this one who stared at her with wide and crazed eyes as his sand came to encircle her body. It was terrifying to watch him change like this, to see the way Shukaku had taken over half his body and how the world around them had changed to a view of Suna burning.

"This is who he really is!"

It was three voices that yelled at her, Gaara's and Yoshio's, and one that she didn't recognize that echoed through the bloodied streets they stood in.

His sand wrapped around her entirely, and Momoko screamed as it circled tighter and tighter around her, her tearful eyes never leaving Gaara's as he grinned wildly at her. 

" _Who he'll always be!_ "


	38. A Cause For Concern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you guys! I hope you enjoy it and would love some feedback on it! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading!

"We shouldn't even be here." Kankuro spat through his teeth, "The longer we wait the further away she gets."

"We don't know that," Temari replied, her eyes fixed on the council as they talked amongst themselves before the meeting started.

There was a space between them at the head of the table, waiting for the Kazekage to start the meeting. He had been out late every night for the last three days, not returning home until the early mornings and only resting for an hour or so before going out again. Gaara helped check the surrounding cliffs that bordered the village, sometimes with teams of shinobi but usually always by himself. Kankuro went with him most nights, but sometimes he stayed behind in the Kazekage Tower just in case any word came back. Temari seemed to be the only one with a cool head these days, but even she began to feel the weight of time passed.

Finally, the door opened and it made the whole room go silent as Gaara entered.

His mood had been foul, almost to the point of frightening. He said little and showed even less, his tired eyes almost always narrowed and his jaw clenched tightly. He entered rooms like a storm cloud, gloomy and dampening the mood in an instant. It was to be expected, so no one had the stomach to point it out to him.

He took his seat at the head of the table and there was silence as he only shifted through papers for a moment before addressing the council.

"I'm going after her myself." Gaara finally said, his words low and almost daring anyone to oppose him, "I'll leave at sunset." 

"L-Lord Kazekage," One of the councilmen said, his nervousness clear in his words, "W-We don't believe that would be wise."

"You're too important to risk going out alone." Another man said, then shifted through the papers, "Witnesses say there was a band of them, at least five."

"I can handle them."

"We don't doubt your power, my Lord," A different council man said, "But there are precautions that need to be taken into consideration here." 

"Such as?" Kankuro snapped, "Give us one good reason why he shouldn't leave right now!"

"Kankuro," Temari warned from Gaara's other side, but her brothers paid her no mind.

"Miss. Akiyama is a civilian, with no training experience or any history of conflict." One of the men spoke before going through her file that sat in front of him, "Whoever has taken her obviously did not have her in mind. It's likely that it was an attempt to get to you, Lord Kazekage."

"I'm aware of this," Gaara nodded, his words cold enough to make a few of the men at the table around them avoid his eyes, "Which is why I should be the one going after her."

"O-On the contrary, my Lord," The first man spoke, his eyes only meeting Gaara's for a moment before flickering away, "This is not as simple as a personal issue. She's recently come into the public eye as being your partner; this makes her kidnapping a political affair."

"Politics don't have anything to do with it!" Kankuro huffed, and Gaara nodded in agreement. 

"That's unlikely," The Kazekage replied, his patience growing thinner by the moment, "There hasn't been any civil unrest since I took office." 

"Nevertheless," A councilman replied, his hands folded on the desk in front of him, "Any attack against anyone directly related or affiliated to you becomes a political affair. You're a very important man, Lord Kazekage, it's unlikely that this was coincidental."

"Politics or not, there's no reason I shouldn't be allowed to go myself," Gaara said, "I can find her easier on my own than a whole squad can."

"B-Be that as it may," The first councilman spoke up, hesitantly, "There are other...concerns we have over this issue."

"Such as?"

The room fell silent, and the members of the council shifted their gazes between each other. Kankuro tapped his fingers against the table, his temper more obvious than Gaara's at this moment. Gaara watched the council, his eyes narrowed and a little cold as the men before him stayed quiet. He shifted, then began to collect the papers in front of him, drawing attention back to the head of the table.

"If there are no further objections-" 

"There are some concerns," A councilman finally spoke up, seeming a little reluctant that he was the one having to do so, "About your...history." 

The answer seemed to startle Gaara for a moment, his brow knotting. Beside him, Temari frowned, her own annoyance starting to get the better of her.

"I beg your pardon?" She spoke up, her arms crossed, "What are you implying?"

"Not implying, my Lady," The same councilman replied, "Considering."

"Considering what, exactly?" Kankuro snapped beside him, and Gaara's gaze drilled holes into his council.

"W-While you have nothing but our utmost trust, my Lord, we worry that if you are to go on your own, once you find the culprits your anger will renew certain _habits_ , if you will."

"Get to the point," Gaara replied coolly, and the councilman visibly shivered.

"Frankly, sir, we're concerned that your desire for revenge may cloud your morality." Another man interjected to take the pressure off his peer, "The culprits need to be tried before a jury for their crimes not against you, but against Sunagakure. As we stated, this is considered a political attack due to Momoko Akiyama's affiliation to you; any attack on the Kazekage is an attack on our village. We cannot allow you to be both judge and jury."

"This is ridiculous!" Kankuro exclaimed, standing from his seat, "I can tell you right now they're all guilty! What's the point in dragging this out just so we can come to the same conclusion in the end?!"

"Because that is the law, Lord Kankuro." A councilman said, "We can overlook missing-nin or bandits, but we cannot overlook a direct attack on the Kazekage's partner. We sympathize with your situation, but we cannot allow feelings to cloud your better judgement."

"Therefore, we ask that you wait until we assemble a qualified squad to go after her, and would prefer if all three of you remain put here."

"Oh _fuck you_!"

"Lord Kankuro!"

The room erupted in shouts and yells, Kankuro doing most of the arguing against the panel of councilmen that sat around the table. Even Temari stood up to argue, her temper getting the better of her as she debated against them. It was nothing short of chaos, the commotion that filled the room, and it was only until Gaara rose a hand that they all fell silent.

It was quiet for a moment, all eyes turned to him as he pinched the bridge of his nose, his brow knotted as he tried to think. After a moment, he inhaled deeply, tried to collect his temper, then opened his eyes to look at the men that had gathered around him. He gestured to his sibling, Kankuro taking a more reluctant seat than Temari, before he himself stood. Gaara looked around the room, met each of their eyes, before finally speaking.

"Our laws state that in the event I believe it necessary and just, my decision in moving further on a matter can forgo the approval of my council." He spoke evenly, "I have never once taken advantage of this power, as I have trusted each and every one of you wholeheartedly and valued your opinion on each conflict that has arisen. Even if I did not completely agree, I sided with you, my council, because your values and opinions matter greatly to me."

"This will be the only time I will ever ignore your wishes, you have my word. But I cannot sit idly by and allow a team of shinobi to find her when they are not the intended targets. Sending anyone but me would be a death sentence, and I will not risk my people's lives or my partner's because your trust in me is faulty. I understand the strain this decision will put between us, but I cannot comply with your wishes. I hope you all can find it within yourselves to forgive me."

The council remained silent, their eyes turning from their Kazekage to each other again as they seemed to think through his words. Finally, one of the men shifted through his papers before pulling one from the very bottom of his stack, and the other members of the council followed suit. Once they all had the same document before them, Daichi Nakano was the one who spoke with somber words.

"We were prepared for this situation, as much as we regret to admit it." He looked down at his papers, eyes scanning the words, before turning his attention back to the Kazekage, "We have one condition that we implore you to agree to."

Gaara nodded in return, and Daichi went on.

"We ask that you don't kill a single shinobi in the midst, once you find her." He said, "If possible, retrieve Momoko Akiyama and return to the village. We understand self defense and ask that you make an attempt to incarcerate until we are able to reach you, rather than take matters into your own hands."

"Understood," Gaara replied without a thought, "I agree with this term."

Beside him, Kankuro made a noise of disbelief, but Temari seemed to relax into her chair a little. With a few final words, the council was dismissed and Gaara was the first one out of the room, both his siblings following closely behind.

"Unbelievable!" Kankuro groaned, throwing his hands up into the air, "If it was any of their family they'd be calling for blood in the streets, but the second it's one of ours suddenly there's all this red tape _bullshit_!"

"You can't entreily blame them," Temari said, though her tone made her reluctance to agree with the council obvious, "Gaara needs to set an example- murder isn't a very good one."

"It isn't muder if they deserve it!" He argued back, "They came into our home, nearly set the whole market place on fire, took the most defensless person in the whole fucking village-!"

" _Language_ , Kankuro-" 

"Don't start that shit right now, Temari," He snapped as they finally entered Gaara's office, "Don't you dare!"

Gaara moved to the front of the room without a word, taking off his hat to set it aside before beginning to undo his robe while his siblings argued in front of him. He went to the closet, neatly hung his robe on the empty hanger, before going back to the desk to rummage through it.

He froze for a moment, the sight of the thick stack of cards making him pause. Gaara simply stared, his eyes tired and a little dull, before he reached out and laid a gentle hand over the top of them. Temari seemed to notice this moment of tenderness, because she fell silent and simply watched Gaara as he stared down at the cards. Kankuro went quiet as well, and the weight of their loss hung heavy in the air.

After a moment, Gaara closed the drawer without a word, before kneeling down to open the very bottom one. He reached inside to the back, grabbed a hold of a neatly sealed scroll, before he rose again and held it out for his siblings.

"What's this?" Temari asked as she looked down at it, neither of them making a move to take it from him.

"My last will and testament." Gaara replied evenly, "I've divided everything evenly between the three of you. It's been notarized and-"

"Woah woah, hold on!" Kankuro interrupted, "Why are you giving us this!?"

"In the event that I do not return, I want my affairs to be in order."

"Don't talk like that, of course you're going to come back!" Temari replied, her voice very nearly a yell.

"I'd like to believe that as well, but we can't ignore the fact that it's a possibility." Gaara said, gesturing again for one of them to take the scroll he was still holding out, "There's a likely chance that Momoko will return here without me, and you both need to be ready for that to happen."

The room fell as silent as a grave, and Temari tried quickly to wipe at her eyes before the budding tears could be seen by either of her brothers. Sure, she was still angry, but now there was something else inside of her that Temari couldn't just let rest.

"Gaara, I understand you love her, but you need to be realistic here." She said carefully, aware of her tone and the implication of her words, "You're the _Kazekage_ , the entire village needs you alive and well. I really like Momoko, don't get me wrong, but-"

"Don't, Temari," Gaara cut her off, his words cold, "If I must make the decision between my life and hers, it will always be hers."

He set the scroll onto the desk when neither of them made a move to retrieve it, and he shut the bottom drawer before he turned his attention back to them again.

"There's one thing I must confide in the both of you." Gaara said, and the seriousness of his tone made them both go tense, "I have no intention of complying with the council's request. When I find who took her, I will not hold back."

"Gaara!" Temari exclaimed, "You can't just do that! You agreed to-"

"I understand the weight of my actions, Temari." He replied, "But I cannot find it in myself to show them mercy." 

For the first time in a very long time, Gaara had a look in his eye that neither of them had seen in years. It was anger, that was no doubt, but it was the gleam in his gaze that he so often had during battles he knew he would win.

It was the desire to see blood _spill_.

The sight of it made Temari's stomach nearly give out.

"No!" She argued, stepping forward, "You can't do that, Gaara! You've come too far to resort back to this!"

"Temari-"

" _No_!" She cut him off again, before looking to Kankuro with desperation clear in her eyes, "Tell him, Kankuro! Tell him he can't!"

But Kankuro didn't meet her gaze. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his knuckles white and his fists trembling. He stayed staring at the floor, the anger clear in his clenched jaw and tense shoulders, and Temari knew the moment he looked up to Gaara that she had lost.

"Bring her home.”

" _No!_ "

Gaara was gone in a swirl of sand, leaving the two siblings to sort through the mess he left in his wake. Temari instantly rounded on her brother, anger and fear bubbling inside of her as she screamed.

"Why would you say that?! We just got him back, Kankuro!"

No reply came, and his head was bowed so low that she couldn't see his face through the shadows that had been cast over it. He just stood there silently, his shoulders shaking.

"Answer me, damnit! How could you let him go?!"

She finally went to him and grabbed a hold of his shoulders, jerking him up to finally meet her eyes.

The sight of his tears made her freeze.

Kankuro stood there, his paint smeared and his lips trembling as he stared at her with wide and guilty eyes, and Temari understood almost instantly.

"K-Kankuro..." She trailed off, feeling her anger start to fade away, "You-"

"You can't tell him!" Kankuro burst, his tone watery and already cracking with every word, "Please, Temari! He can never know!" 

Temari fell silent as Kankuro wept, finally letting himself break down after days of anger and frustration. He sobbed, face pressed into his hands as his sister held his shoulders, and she could only stand silently and watch.

For everyone's sake, she hoped Gaara got to her in time.


	39. Men Like Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND GORE**
> 
> Wowza- 40 chapters already! And nearly 4000 hits!! Thank you guys so much for your views and kudos, and all of the wonderful comments you’ve left for me! 
> 
> Here is the next chapter! It’s a rough one, so I look forward to hearing your feedback!
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for reading and I hope you like it!

"Momoko," Someone whispered, soft and quiet, and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

The feeling of his skin on her raw flesh made her hiss, and she curled further into herself to get away from the touch. She didn't care that it wasn't Yoshio's voice, all she cared about was sparing herself this new pain on top of the ones that already shot through her tired body.

"Momoko," He called again after pulling his hand away, but she stayed with her back turned to him and facing the cool stone wall.

She heard the sound of something being set down, then the sloshing of water that made her body go stiff as she dared to raise her head and look over her shoulder.

Hikaru was sitting on the other side of the small burrow she lay in, a bucket of water between them and his hands folded neatly in his lap. Had she the sense or care for modesty, she would have hesitated before scrambling as close to the bucket as she could. But it had been days since she had food, and the water rarely came, so she had forgone the point of humility. The chains that were held to the stone wall only allowed her to go so far, reaching the bucket but not the man on the other side of it. She didn't pay him much mind as she drank, cupping the water in her hands and taking the largest drinks she could. The water tasted metallic, likely due to the dried blood on her hands being rehydrated, but she didn't care. It was nourishment of some kind and it was the only thing she could think about.

Usually it was Yoshio who brought her things, who even came into the burrow he had thrown her into. Momoko had realized after being dragged out of his tent the first night that they were in a cave of some kind. The walls were high and the natural light was dim, and the space was large enough to house what looked like a small lake of sorts. She had just gotten a glimpse of the various tents that littered the rocky shore, but her attention was more taken with the angry shinobi who called her harsh names and spat her way as they passed. Whoever they were, they all seemed to hate her, and the things they said as she was dragged along made her cheeks burn red despite how drained she was. He had taken her to a small hole in the wall just a little ways away from the cluster of tents and chained her to the wall, where she had been for the last few days. She wasn't sure how long it had been, it would have been two days or five at this point in time. Momoko tried to keep track of the light that grew and dimmed in the cave, but it was hard to focus on the passage of time when her attention was drawn to the shinobi who paid her visits.

It didn't take long for her to realize that everyone here had their own hatred for Gaara, because she heard it in every word and saw it in every cold eye. It had started out as harsh words, name calling and spitting in her direction, but then a young woman with pure rage in her eyes had slapped her so hard across the face that Momoko saw stars, and that set the precedent for what was to come.

When she was young, she had sprained a wrist during one of her flower deliveries. It had hurt enough to make her cry, but it wasn't more than she could handle. It healed quickly with the help of a medical nin and by the end of the week she felt as good as new. But this wasn't Konoha; there were no flowers to deliver or healers to tend to her wounds- and this certainly wasn't a sprained wrist.

No matter how many ribs they broke or how much blood splattered the stone walls, Momoko never grew numb to this pain. She felt every punch to her stomach, every blade against her skin, and each drop of blood that seeped from her wounds. For days she had woken up to a sharp kick in her side, to the feel of caked on blood covering her body, before the cycle would start again and she could only sit and weep the few tears she had left. They would spend their days hitting and breaking and digging their knives into her skin, and when the night came around Yoshio would come and heal her just enough to mend the broken bones and close the cuts that instantly turned to scars, and it would be a nearly clean slate for them the next day.

Despite the violence they showed and the anger that burned in their eyes as they hurt her, some of them expressed their grief. Some would tell her the names of the people Gaara had killed in his rampage: brothers, mothers, wives, daughters. They would hit harder and harder as the tears fell more and more, and despite how much it hurt her, Momoko felt something other than pain in those moments. She pitied them and their grief, felt that familiar grip at her heart that always came when she was faced with loss. These people had suffered at Gaara's -no, Shukaku's, she struggled to reassure herself- hand, and it showed in the pain behind their eyes. Despite how much she herself was hurting, the part of her soul that empathized with anyone couldn't help but weep.

Between these visits there was Yoshio and no matter how much she cried and begged, he would take her face into his hands and force her to watch the amber take over his eyes completely until she was plummeted into the burning streets of Suna. It was the same thing each day: Gaara, half twisted and deformed by Shukaku tearing apart the village and killing anyone in its path. Every day she had to feel sand wrap around her body and squeeze until her bones snapped apart and pierced through her skin, until the pain reduced her to nothing more than trembling and tears. Each time she had to hear Gaara's laughter, sick and twisted and horrible, and the lines between reality and illusion in her head had started to blur. Yoshio would leave her there, sobbing and weak, with a wicked smile on his lips and then she would once again be left in the hands of his ruthless band of spited shinobi.

The only thing that kept her able to go on each day, even if it was just opening her eyes in the morning, was the idea of Gaara. She knew he would be coming for her, was likely tearing the world apart already since the moment he realized she was gone. It didn't lessen the pain of the genjutsu or beatings she endured, but it was the only thing she had now to hold onto. She just needed to get through one more day, endure one more hit, handle one more genjutsu, and he would be here for her. Even as one day turned to two, and then a third, until she lost track and he still wasn't there, Momoko had to hope he could be soon. Though it got harder each day, and the faith she had in the beginning had started to dim, it was all she really had left now.

The only one who hadn't come around to take out their anger had been Hikaru. The more she drank, the more the small clarity this burst of hydration brought, and the more Momoko realized that she hadn't seen him since he had taken her that night. Momoko watched him silently, her eyes tired and black from bruising, and he tried to offer what he must have thought was a reassuring smile across his scarred lips.

"I brought you more than usual," Hikaru said, a nervous kindness to his tone, "I thought it would help."

Her voice was coarse and her throat thoroughly ruined from the days of screaming, so it took her a couple of times to get past the burning and wheezing before she could even get out a word.

"W-Wh-at-"

He gently hushed her, a frown crossing his deformed lips, before he slowly moved closer. It instantly made her scramble back in fear, knocking the bucket of water to the ground so she could press herself to the cool stone wall. The sight of it made his frown deepen, and Hikaru paused in his pursuit.

"I can heal your throat, if you want," He tried to sooth her, holding his hands up to show he meant no harm, "I can't heal it completely or Yoshio will know, but I can do enough to let you talk."

Momoko stared at him with wide and fearful eyes, hesitant to trust his gentle voice and kind gaze. Though he had never hurt her before (besides cutting her hair, but Momoko didn't compare that to everything else that had happened to her) the only touch she had known these last few days was harmful, so it was hard for her to trust him. He seemed to notice this hesitance, because he went on. 

"It'll only be a second, and I'll stop when you want me to," Hikaru tried to calm her, "I just want to help."

After a moment more of staring at him, her eyes darting out a few times to look at the group of shinobi gathered around a fire on the shore, Momoko finally gave a hesitant nod. Hikaru came closer and every part of her went tense, her stomach already turning and threatening to empty what little contents there were. When he reached her, he laid a gentle hand on her throat that instantly drew a broken whimper from her, and the sound of it made him have to look away from her.

She felt the healing on her throat, starting out as a pleasant warmth before turning to a soothing sensation that she had come to know. He wasn't as skilled as Yoshio was, but he was gentle and made sure to keep his hold on her throat light. After a moment he pulled away, and Momoko jerked away from him to feel the skin that had just been mended.

"T-Thank you," She gasped, her voice hoarse but clearer than it had been in days.

"You're welcome." He replied before moving to the other side of the burrow again, putting the space back between them.

Momoko looked from him down to the spilled water on the floor, a frown pulling at her bloodied lips. Hikaru noticed this, and he reached out to set the bucket upright.

"I'll try to bring you more after everyone's gone to sleep," He said, and the words made her gaze flicker up to him. 

"W-Why are you being so k-kind?" Momoko just managed to get out, and Hikaru turned his eyes from her and back to the tents.

"I don't agree with any of this," He replied, an odd form of sorrow in his words, "I wanted to let you stay in the fire, but Yoshio wanted you here." 

His words made her shiver; the idea of burning alive, though it sounded more appealing than what she was going through now, was terrifying. The fact that it had even been a possibility made Momoko's mouth go dry.

"W-What is he doing t-to me?" She asked, and Hikaru looked back to her with the frown still firmly on his lips.

"It's..." He seemed to hesitate for a moment, torn between telling her and keeping it a secret. It took him a moment to speak again, this time a little quieter, "It's a kekkei genkai, the last of its kind. It lets him see every memory of your life and use it against you- but I'm guessing he's letting you see his instead." 

Momoko tried to ask another question, but the attempt was followed by a short round of coughing. Though he had healed just enough to let her talk, it still hurt. Hikaru shifted a little, the discomfort clear on his scarred face as his eyes dropped down to his lap.

"I'm so sorry," He whispered.

She tried to understand why there was guilt in his words, why he looked so apprehensive to the idea of what she was going through. It didn't seem like Hikaru was angry at her (or rather, Gaara, but she couldn't see much of a difference anymore) but she couldn't understand this kindness either. Momoko dug through her memory and recalled that even the night he had taken her, he had looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

"I'm sure you already know by now but Gaara- _he_ hurt these people, hurt Yoshio. Yoshio was just a little kid back then, when Gaara...you know, you've seen what he did." Momoko recalled her love's distorted face with a shiver as Hikaru rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, "He had to watch his whole family die in front of him: his parents, his older brother, his baby sister. He was lucky he got away in time but he...it still hurts. All of these people lost someone to Gaara and they're just...doing what they have to."

Had Momoko been the person she was nearly a year ago, nervous and shy, she wouldn't have felt what she did now. She wouldn't have let herself feel the anger that started to brew inside of her at his words, or have the confidence to defend herself even in this way. Maybe it would have been better if she didn't have this new courage, but the days of pain had worn her manners uncharacteristically thin.

" _H-Have to_?" She gasped, uncaring of the venom behind her words and how it made him flinch, "Y-You think this is the way t-to fix things? T-That _this_ is the best solution?"

"Of course not," Hikaru replied quickly, looking back to her again, "Believe me, I've tried to talk Yoshio out of this but...but this is the only solution he can accept."

"A-And what solution is that?"

He frowned at her, the sadness in his eyes making her heart drop into her stomach. When he didn't say anything, the anger quickly boiled down to fear, but not entirely for herself. Quickly, the anxiousness barely contained in her words, she asked again.

"W-What's going to happen, H-Hikaru?"

"I-Im sorry," He choked, his words breaking, "I'm so sorry."

"I-Is it Gaara?" She asked, leaning forward a little despite how much it hurt to do so, "P-Please, Hikaru, h-he can't kill Gaara-"

"Gaara?" Hikaru questioned, her words seeming to pull him out of his pity and surprise him, "You're being beat within an inch of your life every day, and you're worried about what's going to happen to _Gaara_?"

"I-I love him," Momoko choked, "H-Haven't you ever been i-in love?"

Hikaru seemed to falter for a moment, something she recognized flashing through his eyes before he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Y-You have haven't you?" She asked, though she already knew the answer, "T-Then you should know h-how I feel, a-and how Gaara feels right now too-"

"Don't," Hikaru cut her off, shrinking a little away from her, "D-Don't try to humanize him-"

"L-Let me go, Hikaru," Momoko started to beg, the reason giving way to desperation now, tears she had thought dried up coming to her eyes, "It wasn't Gaara's fault! Y-You know this is wrong, p-please-!"

"N-No!" He suddenly cried out, putting his hands over his ears, "H-He needs to pay for what he did to Yoshio!"

"W-Why does that matter to you?" She asked, despite the burning in her throat, "W-Why are you going against your morals to help Y-Yoshio?!"

His eyes shot up to her, and in the back of her mind, she knew this expression. The tenderness in his gaze, the bittersweet look on his face; she couldn't quite place where she had seen it before, but she recognized what it was now.

"Hikaru," She tried to reason, but he looked away with his hands still held tightly over his ears, "Y-You shouldn't have to change f-for him; that isn't love! M-Men like Yoshio don't love!"

"Men like Gaara don't either!" He shouted back, and she flinched at the volume of it. It was only now that she realized the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

"Gaara's changed!" She replied, trying to keep her voice lower than his to talk him back down, her eyes darting fearfully out towards the tents, "But Yoshio has spent his w-whole life like this! _Wanting_ this! You know deep down that he's wrong, that all of this is wrong!"

"N-No, that's not true!" Hikaru exclaimed, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself now, "G-Gaara deserves this! You both do!"

"You know t-that isn't true!" Momoko cried, her words quickening as he started to shake. In the pit of her stomach, she had a feeling this wasn't going to go how she wanted so she tried to reason with him again, "D-Do you really think the vengeance of a grown man i-is more excusable than the grief of a child!?"

"Shut up!" He shouted back, and Momoko's heart picked up when a head turned to their direction, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"S-Shh, Hikaru! Please-!"

"Hikaru?" Someone called as Hikaru quickly stood, wiping the tears from his eyes with shaky hands. Momoko instantly recognized the person to be the man that had thrown her over his shoulder when she was taken.

"Y-You're wrong," He said again, and when he pulled his hands away, Momoko could see a new spark of anger burning behind his eyes.

Momoko watched in horror as the man came closer, his figure looming nearly a foot taller than Hikaru's as he approached. He had done some of the worst damage to her, going as far as to carve crude words into her skin that scarred no matter how much Yoshio healed. The very sight of him made the tears in her eyes fall, and she scrambled back the closer he got.

"This bitch giving you trouble?" The man asked Hikaru, who was now glaring at the ground below him, his hands clenched tightly to fists at his side.

Momoko sobbed, trying desperately to meet his gaze and try to silently beg him to say no, to walk away and leave her in peace. She hadn't meant to push him so far, but she was so desperate to get out of here that she said whatever came to mind. But when he looked up at her, hatred burning in his usually kind eyes, Momoko knew she had made a dire mistake by insulting what he thought was love.

"Yeah, she is."

The man grinned in return, his eyes shifting from his companion to Momoko as she trembled against the wall. 

"Why don't you have a go then, Hikaru?" He asked, moving closer and reaching for her as she tried to press herself further into the burrow, "Show this demon fucker how mad she makes you."

"N-No! Please!" She cried as he undid the chains that binder her to the wall before he grabbed her ankle and gave a pull that made it pop right out of its socket. The pain that shot through her leg made her let out a deafening scream , but the Shinobi paid it no mind as he pulled her out of the burrow and dragged her across the rough stone floor. 

A few of the other shinobi had started to come over, either perplexed at the idea of Hikaru harming her or just wanting to see more blood spill. He pulled her closer to the tents and the rough edges of the cave's floor cut into her already weak skin, leaving streaks of blood behind her as she did what little she could to struggle. The last few days had drained nearly all of her energy, but the look in Hikaru's eyes was enough to renew that desire inside of her to struggle with all of her might.

"Come on, Hikaru!" Someone in the small crowd called.

"Teach this whore a lesson!" Another hollered.

"Make her suffer!"

Momoko stared at him with wide and wild eyes, the excruciating pain in her ankle hardly subsiding for the obvious fear on her face. Hikaru was still staring at her, his glare sharp and the distortion of his face finally looking horrific for the first time since she met him. To say she was scared would be an understatement, and it showed in the way she trembled and whimpered against the stone floor.

"H-Hikaru, p-please!" She cried as he came closer, drawing a kunai from a holder at his waist, "P-Please, I didn't mean to! P-Please don't hurt me!"

"You're wrong," He repeated cooly, and the look in his eyes was horrifyingly similar to the way Yoshio looked when she was coming undone.

She tried to scramble away but the other shinobi still had a grip on her dislocated ankle and used it to fling her closer. Hikaru reached out and fisted her hair in his hand, pulling her up to her bruised knees like he had the very first night. This time, though, there was no regret in his eyes or sadness to his words, only a look that made her more scared than she had been since coming here.

"Yoshio can love," He spat, and she cried out as he yanked hard enough on her hair that she was sure he was pulling chunks of it out, "It's your _monster_ who can't! He even said so himself, right _here_."

She felt the tip of the kunai dig into the skin of her forehead, a thick bead of blood instantly seeping out and dripping down her face, and she tried to pull away from the pain but he held her tightly in place by her hair.

"Maybe you need to be _reminded_ of that."

Gone was the hesitation or regret, and Momoko could only scream and cry as he started to carve away into the side of her forehead with the sharp blade of his kunai. Around them the other shinobi cheered on, but all she could focus on was the excruciating pain of her skin being sliced open and the crazed look in Hikaru's eyes. His blade went deeper than it needed to, and the blood that dripped down from her wound began to get into her eye and mix with the tears that fell.

It felt like it went on forever; he would finish one line only to move on to the next, taking his time to carve the kenji deep into her flesh with his blade. She had long since lost the energy or ability to scream anymore or struggle, instead giving into the pain that had started to numb her whole body. Momoko could only stare up at him through the eye that wasn't blinded by blood, watching that wild look on his face as he made her pay for every word she had said against him and the man he loved. The edges of her vision had finally started to go blurry by the time he finished and pulled away with a sickly satisfied look on his face.

They left her there, bleeding and shaking on the cold floor as they walked away laughing. Only Hikaru stayed, breathing hard as they patted his back in a cruel congratulations, staring down at her broken body as the blood pooled onto the ground beneath her. If Momoko had been looking, or was even able to, she would have noticed how the anger had faded from his eyes and his senses seemed to come back to him, but by then it was far too late. The damage had been done, and she knew for a fact that Yoshio would let this mark scar.

"It isn't Gaara who has to die," He finally said, and though there was still bitterness to his words, Momoko couldn't help but feel as though he thought this was would make up in some way, "It's _you_."

She lay there on the cold floor, the last of her hope finally fading away as Hikaru left her completely alone. Momoko had hoped every single day that Gaara would be here before things got too bad, before they could break the last few pieces of her that she thought untouchable, but she had been wrong. Maybe it was Hikaru's sudden change of temperament or the knowledge that she would soon die, but Momoko felt something in the darkest parts of her soul that she had never felt before today. It was _hatred_ , cold and raw and ugly. She stared at the tents through her blurring vision, wishing for the first time in her whole life that she knew how to fight, and nearly wanted to start sobbing again at the horrible desires that started to wrap around her heart.

Gaara wasn't here, there had been no sign that he was near or would be soon. Days and days of constant psychological and physical torture had worn her down to the very core, and for the first time in her life Momoko felt completely and entirely broken. 

As the world finally faded out, she could just barely feel the sand that twirled around a few strands of her bloodied hair before falling away again.


	40. Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Violence and Gore**
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your feedback on the last chapter! I always enjoy seeing you interact with the story and hearing your opinions about where it’s going! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing from you! Thank you so much for reading!!

Night had fallen just an hour or so ago, Gaara wasn't entirely sure. It had been four days since he had set out, now a whole week since she had been taken. His chakra was drained from the continuous traveling, having used his sand to help cover miles and miles each day. At first he had wanted to go to Konoha on the off chance they had taken her around there, or maybe to get help from their friends, but the idea of taking the time to do so didn't sit well with him.

This last week had been a blur of anger and regret; he was furious that she had been taken and hated himself for letting it happen. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the smoke climbing in the night sky, the smell of burning flowers filled his nose, and that feeling that he hadn't felt in so very long took hold over his heart. He couldn't get her out of his head for even a moment, couldn't see past the rage that nearly blinded him most days. Of course he kept his composure for the most part, but even he couldn't completely contain the fury that had started to brew inside of him.

Gaara had tried desperately in those first few days to find some kind of connection between all of it. Momoko had told him about the missing lavender and strange man at the wedding, but by then it had been the next day and his window of opportunity to act had closed. They had spent the last month going about their lives rather pleasantly, with no more burning flowers or strange smiles in sight. The only thing Gaara could remember that caused a few concerns was that Momoko had been a little under the weather recently: she got a little more tired during the days, sometimes even lightheaded, and couldn't seem to keep some food down. They figured she had just come down with something, nothing that caused too much concern.

Gaara found his answer back in his office, where he finally got some idea of who he was looking for. In the days since she went missing, Gaara had gone through every file and every folder that had come across his desk in the last year for some kind of sign that could prove itself useful here. It took him a while, nearly a whole night of just sitting and reading, but he finally found something.

It was a bundle of six files, the top one belonging to a Yoshio Suzuki. Gaara vaguely remembered the report and having to set it aside so it wouldn't ruin his mood for the day: the day he asked Momoko on a date for the first time. Reading through it again, he noticed more things now that had been lost on him before. Yoshio Suzuki moved to Suna with his family when he was young, just three months before the rampage that left him an orphan. Gaara knew right then what this was about, and his theory was only further proved when four other files showed that each missing shinobi had lost someone to Gaara as well.

The only one that stood out was a young man named Hikaru Sato, who's file held more medical records than much else. Yoshio had been listed as his domestic partner, as well as his primary caretaker, and Gaara took the moment to read through the various issues the young man seemed to still struggle with. His mother died when he was 16 at the hands of his father, whose abuse seemed to extend to Hikaru as well, resulting in the scars that littered the young man's file photo. Most of the issues he struggled with now are a direct result of this abuse, specifically the Borderline Personality Disorder that he had been diagnosed with on multiple occasions. This diagnosis seemed to cause the most problems for him, as it was recorded that his usually kind nature could turn on a dime if the wrong words were used. There were pages and pages of him going in and out of the hospital, most of which resulted in fits of rage that had quite a few medical nin getting hurt. He was set to be permanently institutionalized just a month before they all went missing.

What confirmed the connection between Momoko's disappearance and this band of shinobi was the fact that the Suzuki family had come from Mugigakure, a small village bordered by the Land of Fire, where Yoshio's parents had worked as the small village's only lavender farmers.

He read the files nearly a hundred times, memorizing faces and names and techniques before he set out. Instead of taking them with, he had left them sitting on his desk for his council and siblings to sort through. Gaara didn't doubt that they'd be after him soon, likely with the skilled Anbu that the council had tried to send in his place. He knew he would reach Yoshio before his siblings reached him, but the idea of backup coming soon helped ease him only slightly.

Gaara wasn't nervous or scared. The only thing he feared for was Momoko's safety- nothing else really mattered. Gaara wasn't worried about losing; her life was at stake, losing wasn't an option. He wouldn't hold himself back, despite how she had argued for the lives of anyone that did her wrong on their trip home. This was unforgivable and if he saw her in anything less than near perfect health, Gaara didn't trust his temper.

It had been years since he felt the way he did now, since he had this burning desire to _kill_. When he was younger, and even after he had met Naruto, Gaara had pegged most of his anger at the time as being a direct result of Shukau. He had once thought that the rage and desire to see blood spill was just him feeling Shukau's emotions, but now that someone had taken the love of his life and the demon was gone, he began to doubt that those feelings weren't his own. Maybe some of that had been him, because these feelings of rage and violence felt familiar to his heart and mind. It wasn't like coming home or seeing an old friend after so long, it was like the ache you got in limbs that had long since been amputated. Like it was an old part of him that he had been missing for so long, but now felt as though he had never lost it at all.

He didn't have the time or the energy for this internal conflict. When he got home with Momoko safe in his arms, if he lived long enough to do so, then he would see his therapist and sort through these intrusive thoughts. For now, though, he would focus on the task at hand.

Gaara nearly got to rest (however poor that rest was) the whole night through, but just before the sun rose something in the brush around him made the sand within his gourd spring to life. His eyes were open in a moment, but he made no move to act as the sand took it upon itself to dart through the trees after the figure that now tried desperately to retreat. He was still a little tired, his mood was made more foul by it, so Gaara only turned his head and watched as his sand dragged something towards him through the trees.

It was a person, judging by the yells it was a woman. He didn't care about the hard forest floor that likely dug into her skin as she was pulled back to him, or the way his sand was wrapped far too tightly around her legs. Gaara was past the point of tenderness for anyone who had crossed his path.

The sand brought the struggling woman to him and at the sight of the slashed out Sunagakure headband, Gaara stood. She turned and looked at him, her eyes wide and fearful as she struggled against the sand that crept up her body. Gaara recognized her instantly, her file being one in the stack that had crossed his desk; she was the only female in Yoshio's band. A blade was held tightly in her hand, slashing away at the sand the crept up her body.

"Asami Ono," He addressed her, and the tone of his voice made her go a little pale.

"Fuck you!" She cursed at him, her blade still clenched tight in her fist, "You monster! Fuck-"

Her words were cut off as she cried out in pain, the sand around her legs giving a painful squeeze. Something else had made the sand drag her before him, but now this was Gaara in control.

"Where is she?" He asked, but instead the woman gathered all the saliva in her mouth and spit at him. It was blocked by sand, and did little to help her situation.

"You killed my son!" She yelled, "He was 10 years old! You-"

"Where is Momoko Akiyama?" Gaara cut her off, and Asami went silent as she stared at him with wide, glassy eyes.

"Y-You don't even care," She said, her actions and struggling coming to a stop as she looked up at him, "A-All you care about is that _whore_ -!"

Once again, her words fell short to her screams as the sand seized one of her ankles with enough power to break it, the grains instantly staining red as a sickening crack echoed through the forest. Asami stopped struggling, the pain of her broken bone taking all of the fight from her.

"I've long since apologized for my actions." Gaara spoke, trying his very hardest to keep his composure despite the way his blood boiled at her words, "I have made attempts to compensate for your loss, but you and the rest of your companions have denied me. I know there is nothing I can say or do to ever give you back what you've lost, but your actions have put me past the point of sympathy. I will not ask again,"

She looked up at him, how he loomed dangerously over her as she writhed in pain, and recognized the look in his eyes to be the very same she had seen all those years ago.

"Where is she?"

Despite the pain that coursed through her body, the way she lay sweating and nearly crying from the horrible feeling of her broken bones, Asami still let a cruel little smile cross her lips.

" _Fuck you_ ," She spat weakly, "Fuck you and your bitch."

He would have killed her, truthfully. Every part of him wanted to see the life drain from her eyes as he wrapped his sand tighter and tighter around her weak body, but as he raised his fist to finish the job, he stopped.

And he thought of Momoko, of the tears in her eyes when she had defended life and everyone's right to it. He thought of how she had raised her voice to him for the very first time to defend the life of anyone who did her wrong; Asami's life, now. He thought of the way her smile had lit up the photo of her files, and how the small picture never did the light freckles across her nose and cheeks much justice.

_If you kill for me, Gaara, I'll never forgive you._

The weight of his sorrow gripped tighter at his heart than the anger ever would.

Gaara stood, hand raised in the air as her words brought clarity amongst the rage, and despite all of his heart and mind telling him to close his fist and make her pay, he couldn't find it in himself to do so. He wanted to kill her, to carry out what he thought was justice but...but he couldn't. Momoko had asked him not to, as had his council, and though Gaara had told his siblings that this is the path he would take, he couldn't bring himself to take the first step.

And he knew, deep down, that it wasn't just for Momoko's sake that he held himself back. After how hard he worked, how far he had come, Gaara owed it to himself to keep being the person he had struggled so hard to be. He didn't want to kill Asami no matter how angry her words made him, because he wasn't the same person she cursed and spat at now. If he did kill her, he would only prove to her and everyone else that he had never really changed at all.

So he let his hand drop, instead let his sand shift her until she was leaning against the tree he had been sitting under, and pinned her there so she couldn't get away. She struggled against the sand, the pain still clear on her face but her spirit only flaring brighter as Gaara came closer.

"Stay away from me!" She screamed, but Gaara paid her words little mind as he kneeled down in front of her so that they were eye level.

He wanted to hate her, to feel that familiar animosity for everyone else that he had in his youth, but to his own surprise, Gaara felt no such thing. As he watched her thrash, tears running down her cheeks and foul words spewing from her lips, Gaara only felt pity. He had done this, had reduced her and her companions to the grieving criminals they were now. Though he disagreed greatly with the actions they were carrying out, he couldn't find it in himself to blame them entirely. Asami was clearly grieving, even after all these years, and Gaara understood; he wasn't sure what he'd do if he ever lost a child.

"There will never be enough words to make things right, I know that," He spoke to her, and she turned her angry glare to him, "Nothing I ever say, or ever do, will get back what you've lost- and I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for that. I have lived with the weight of my actions my whole life and will carry that guilt until the day I die." 

Gaara reached into the pocket of his crimson coat, where he had brought a few medical supplies with him just in case. 

"Good!" She yelled at him, the resentment still clear in her words despite his attempt to comfort her, "I hope you never find peace for all you've done! I hope you spend the rest of your days hating yourself for what you've taken from us!"

"I hope so, too," He replied, and his words seemed to surprise her, "Because I deserve it."

He reached out and gently grabbed her ankle, and his touch made her thrash again and try to kick at him.

"Don't touch me, you bastard!"

"I'm going to put ointment on it, if you'll let me." Gaara explained, his eyes moving up to meet hers, "It'll help with the pain, and the healing."

His words made her falter, angry eyes turning sharply to him, "Why would you-?"

"May I?"

Asami, though still glaring at him and obviously unsure, must have wanted the pain to subside more than she wanted to fight in that moment, because she didn't reply or thrash about again as he reached out a second time.

Gently, he took some ointment out of the small container and gently smeared it across her skin, easing his touch when she hissed out in pain. It must have hurt something fierce if she was letting him do this now, but Gaara wouldn't waste this chance to try and get through to her.

"I deserve all of your hatred, and then some," He picked up the conversation again, and she huffed against her restraints, "But Momoko doesn't."

He finished putting the ointment on the wound and looked up to find her eyes away from him, glaring off into the forest that surrounded them.

"And I think you know that, too."

"No, I don't." She spat out, turning a sharp eye back to him, "Why should you get to have the very thing you took from so many of us?"

"I understand your logic, but Momoko is innocent in all of this," Gaara replied evenly, "She's not a shinobi, she has no way of defending herself."

"You should have done a better job of protecting her then, shouldn't you?"

Though her words stung, Gaara tried to keep his temper at bay. It was amazing he was able to do it this long; he wouldn't let her egg him on like this. Maybe he could get through to her in some way, get her to realize that things could be different.

"Please, Asami," He tried to reason with her, and his words made her look away from him again, "Innocent people shouldn't suffer for the sake of someone else's rage- you should know that better than anyone."

Something must have clicked in her, because the frown pulled deeper at her lips and her shoulders began to tremble as more tears fell from her eyes. It wasn't regret on her face, or even pity- Gaara hoped it was understanding. But she didn't speak, didn't turn her eyes back to him and instead stayed glaring off into the forest around them. He stayed like that, kneeled down in front of her, hoping that maybe she would help him in some small way, but she stayed silent long enough for Gaara to realize that she wouldn't speak again.

"Someone should be here soon for you, likely Anbu. It could be hours, or maybe a day, but you won't be here long." He said as he stood, and she remained silent, "I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry for what I've done. I know it means nothing now, but I'd do anything to bring your son back to you."

She let out a sob, quiet and reluctant, and Gaara felt that same pity as earlier grip at his heart once again. He had seen a time or two the people he had hurt, the aftermath of his rage, but rarely were they unable to finally come to terms with what had happened. It seemed as though that wasn't the case for Asami, or any of them, and Gaara would just have to accept the responsibility for what he'd done.

He hardly took a step away before his attention was drawn to the small vine of sand that shot out of the bushes and circled around his feet before crawling up to wrap around his arm. Gaara saw that the grains were tinted just a little red, and the sight of it made his blood run cold and the feelings of tenderness instantly fizzle out. The sand lightly tugged his arm forward in the direction in which it came, and Gaara paid the rest of the world little mind as he let these bloodied grains lead him to her.


	41. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter! Once again thank you all for your feedback and kudos! And thank you SO MUCH for reading!

She expected burning streets and bloodied sand when she opened her eyes, but was instead surprised to see something very different. Her back was resting against a tree at the top of a hill full of lavender as a sweet and warm breeze rolled though and the light of the sun hit her cheeks as she rested. There was no pain, no aching, just a pretty scene and a peaceful afternoon.

"This isn't necessary," She sighed, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back against the tree, "Just get on with it."

"Here I'd thought you would appreciate the change of pace," Yoshio mused beside her where he also sat against the tree.

"It always ends the same," Momoko replied, taking advantage of the artificially clean air by breathing in deeply, "What's the point in doing this?"

Yoshio went silent and the only sound between them was the rustling of the lavender in the warm wind and the leaves that shook overhead. Occasionally, a bird would chip or sing a pretty song, but it did not sooth her in the ways he had probably hoped it would.

"This isn't an illusion, you know. This is a very special memory of mine."

Momoko opened her tired eyes and turned to look at him as he sat beside her, amber eyes fixated on the flowers that swayed in the field.

"Where are we?" She asked, watching how the light that peaked between the leaves decorated his pale cheeks.

"Home," He breathed after a moment of tender silence.

Despite the animosity that had built inside of her these last few days and all of the anger and hatred that she felt, the part of her that was still true to herself couldn't help but pity the look in Yoshio's gaze. She looked back over the field with new eyes, finding it more sad than pretty now.

"Is this why you stole my lavender?" She asked and he nodded silently in return.

They stayed like that for a while longer, letting the silence linger on between them. Maybe Momoko would have been unsettled by it once, when she first arrived here, but she couldn't find it in herself to not enjoy the peace of this moment. She was going to die at the end of all of this, she knew that now. No matter how much she wanted to believe that Gaara would get here in time, that he would be able to save her before everything turned to dust, she had an awful feeling in the pit of her heart that she would not make it to see a real flower ever again.

"What will happen, after I'm dead?" Momoko questioned, turning her head to look at him, "Will you kill Gaara?"

"No," He replied honestly, also turning to meet her gaze as they leaned against the tree, "If we must live with our losses, so must he." 

Part of her thought it made sense, because in a morbid way, it did. An eye for an eye, a life for 13.

"And you?" Momoko asked, pale blue never leaving amber, "Will you be happy again? Will you bring Hikaru back here and pick up where you left off?"

There was rustling in the field, the sounds of someone coming closer, and Momoko looked to see Hikaru standing at the bottom of the field with a wide and childish smile on his lips. He was dressed in common clothes, a white cotton shirt and trousers, and looked more at peace now than she had ever seen him as he waved up to the pair.

Yoshio stared at the image of him as well, as those bright eyes looked up at him with nothing but love, and thought for a moment that this would be a sweet ending.

"No," He finally spoke, and the image of Hikaru went away, "I'm afraid I won't." 

"What, then?"

"You know him better than anyone," Yoshio replied, "You tell me."

_If someone hurts you, Momoko, I won't hold back. Any shinobi cruel enough to attack a civilian doesn't deserve kindness._

The words echoed through the field, more a reminder than the threat they had been. Momoko wanted to be upset by them, like she had when they were first spoken, but she felt nothing of the sort. 

"He'll kill every one of you for what you've done to me," Momoko repeated, a cruel sort of pride in her words, "All of this will have been for nothing."

"Not for nothing," He replied, the tone of her voice having taken him just a little off guard, "Gaara will suffer- that's all we wanted, in the end."

"You'd rather die than forgive him?" She huffed, sitting up from the tree as she stared angrily down into her lap, "How childish, all of you."

"Could you ever forgive me?" Yoshio asked, and she turned a sharp eye to stare at him.

For the first time since she had met him, he looked completely at peace. No wicked smile, no nails digging into skin or cruel words. Yoshio sat against the tree as though he actually lived here in this beautiful world, as though he was untouched by the memories that followed this one. She dared to think that, for a moment, he looked human.

Momoko wanted to spit in his face and swear at him until her face turned purple. They had burned her shop to the ground, taken every memory of her wonderful life and staple of who she was in one violent flame. He and his band of shinobi had put her through hell with their tortue and abuse, and had twisted parts of her heart beyond her own recognition. They had taken the vibrant young woman she had known herself to be and smashed her to bits with little care for anything outside of their own anger. She was not a person in their eyes, just a pawn to be used in their sick game of revenge. Every part of Momoko wanted to curse them all and wish them no peace even in death.

But deep down, beyond all the burning hatred and broken bones, that part of her heart that would always beat for others begged her to not harden completely. Her parents had raised her to love strongly and forgive even those who didn't deserve it. They had instilled the idea that no person was born wicked, that every human heart had kindness within it and was, therefore, entitled to happiness and peace. Even Gaara, though he was the cause of her current suffering, had helped her gain the confidence and bravery that came with forgiveness, had shown her that people could change. All of her life she had put kindness first, and even in these last few days of it, she would not abandon the idea now.

No matter how horrible they all were, how they spit at her and broke her bones, these were still just people. What she had first thought to be anger was now recognizable as unbearable pain, and they were doing what they thought would remedy that. She had been blessed with a happy life, surrounded by friends and family and love, but these people had been robbed of that chance by the man she loved. They didn't know happiness anymore, all they really knew was revenge, and could she blame them for that? If she had lost her parents to violence instead of sickness, if Naruto or Gaara had been killed by someone else, wouldn't she feel the same? Momoko had been fortunate enough not to lose anyone by unnatural means, so who was she to tell them how to grieve?

She realized then, as she stared at Yoshio and all of his corruption, that he really was just human.

"Yes," She finally replied in all sincerity, firmly holding his amber gaze, "I could."

Yoshio stared back at her, an odd look in his eyes, before he had to turn away from her and look out on the field of lavender.

"Then you're stronger than all of us."

They sat a while longer in that field of lavender, and in some strange way, it helped. Momoko knew she was going to die, and in this peaceful place, she began to come to terms with the idea. She had the time to think about it in that small burrow, to worry and scare herself breathless over what would come. In the beginning, the thought had been terrifying to the point of nausea. She had wondered if the priests and religious figures of the world had been right, if there was eternal life after this in a place full of honey and pearls. The idea hadn't brought the comfort she had hoped it would, and she lay awake these last few nights at the idea of simply fading away to nothing.

At first that thought had scared her too: that nothing was worse than something. She couldn't comprehend the idea of just ceasing to exist, no normal person really ever could. The idea of eternal darkness had been just as terrifying as the thought of a fiery hell, but as the days had gone on and her hope in survival began to die out, the idea of being no more didn't sound so scary after all.

She wouldn't be afraid, because she would no longer be. The fears and worries that had tied themselves to her life would fade from existence just as she would. That would mean losing the happy memories and joyful moments too, the ones that had made this life beautiful beyond description. But she had come to terms with the fact that nothing was meant to be forever, and so she found peace in the idea of losing the good along with the bad. She had lived a wonderful life, surrounded by people that loved her and loved her fiercely.

Strangely enough, she found comfort in the idea that this had all been for nothing, that all of their suffering and happiness would truly mean nothing in the end; because the end wasn't what mattered. What mattered was being raised by her parents, growing flowers, kissing in fields, crying at gates, fulfilling dreams, rolling between satin sheets, dancing on rooftops, kissing cheeks, hugging friends, and falling in love. Gaara had once told her that every bad thing was worth it, that he found solace in ever having felt something at all. Of course the end would hurt, just as every ending did, but it was worth it for every moment of the life she lived.

"He's here," Yoshio spoke as he stood, and Momoko finally turned her eyes away from the rolling lavender and back to the man she now saw just a little differently. He looked down at her, that odd shimmer still in his amber eyes, and offered her his hand.

"For what it's worth," He said, a bittersweet sincerity in his words, "I wish it had to be someone else." 

She stared at his extended hand and took these last few shifts of the warm breeze to prepare herself for what was to come. No one really ever could accept their death, and it would be a lie to say she wasn't still scared, but there was no choice now. Even if Gaara was successful, her body in the real world had grown too weak and too frail from the days of continuous torture. Yoshio hadn't gotten the chance to heal her just yet, and so she lay still broken and bleeding against the cold cave floor in reality. In her heart, and her soul, Momoko knew these were the last few hours of her life.

"I hope you get what you wanted, Yoshio." Momoko said as she met his eyes and slipped her hand into his own, "I hope you all do."

At least she would get to see Gaara one last time.


	42. Lavender and Ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! The moment you’ve all been waiting for! Thank you for your patience thus far! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts on it! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!! 
> 
> **Violence and Gore**

There was no ambush, no weapons flying his way or attacks from every side. The only thing Gaara was aware of when he finally stepped into the opening of the large cave was the crippling silence in the air. The tents that had littered the shore had been cleared and in their place stood the shinobi responsible for all of this, their glares and hateful sneers the worst he could remember seeing in his life. Yoshio Suzuki stood a little more in front of them, his kimono clean and eyes cold, and at his feet Momoko lay struggling for breath.

The sight of the blood that caked on her skin, the scars and cuts and wounds that littered her body had his heart throbbing painfully. It was unexplainable, the anguish he felt seeing her dull eyes looking up at him so tiredly, and he used that feeling to fuel the anger that brewed inside of him. He came to a stop just before them, his arms crossed and eyes as cold as they had been in his youth.

There was no need for introductions or explanations; they knew all of that already. Gaara had memorized each name and face before him, and they had never forgotten his after all these years. They wanted revenge for the lives he had taken and in turn, they would take hers if he wasn't careful enough. There was an odd understanding between them, one that forwent the witty foreplay so many battles had.

"Let me take her to Suna to be healed, and I will return for you to do as you wish." Gaara offered, the anger barely concealed in his words as they bounced off the cave walls.

"Come on,” Yoshio almost teased, a dangerous gleam in his eyes, "You know that won't happen."

Gaara hated his taunting and would have told him so, had it not been for him trying his very hardest not to lash out and kill every one who stood before him. Sand began to seep from his gourd and spill onto the cave floor beneath him, but at the first sight of it Yoshio slammed his foot down hard into Momoko's bruised side, drawing a coarse yelp from the beaten girl. The sound of it grated against Gaara's ears and it took everything in him not to rush to her side.

"Keep the sand away," Yoshio said, and pressed his heel down a little further into the whimpering girl, "I see even one grain move and she's dead."

Gaara watched the shinobi behind him snicker and sneer, and nearly ignored his demand so that he could get the whole thing over with right then. He had waited too long to have her back and now that those responsible stood lined up before him, he could hardly hold himself back. Gaara nearly threw caution to the wind and began his attack, but then his eyes met Momoko's and he paused.

She looked so small right then, curled up in chains against the cold stone floor. Momoko didn't even try to change her gaze to anything other than pain and desolation, despite how hard Gaara tried to reassure her with his own tender eyes. He could make out words carved into her arms and legs, cruel names that would stay on her marred skin for the rest of her life. Momoko bared the same kanji scar he did, carved cruelly into her forehead, and the idea of her having to go through such pain made Gaara's nerves nearly give out. All of this, every bit of blood that stained her skin or wound that tore it open had been his fault. His guilt outweighed his anger in that moment, and the years he had spent hating himself for what he had done finally came to fruition as he shouldered off his gourd and let it fall to the ground with a heavy thud that echoed in the space around them.

"Get him." 

Two grinning shinobi stepped forward to close the space between them, and Gaara willed his shield to stay down as they grabbed him roughly and forced him to his knees. Their grips were too tight, nearly cutting off circulation in his arms, but he didn't much care in that moment. Once he was completely restrained and at their mercy, Yoshio finally took his foot off of Momoko and stepped forward.

"G-Gaar-a," Momoko barely managed to gasp out through the pain the blow had left on her body, and the sound of it put a horrible pit in his stomach.

"It's alright," He reassured her, even as Yoshio came to a stop before him, "I-"

A sharp slap across his face silenced his words, and Gaara tasted blood for the first time in a long time. The sand shield on his face instantly cracked and crumbled at the force of it, the limp sand falling to the ground in front of them.

"Look at you," Yoshio spat, shaking out his hand from the force of the hit, "Having the audacity to try and comfort her now. How cruel of you to make her believe you're even capable of compassion."

Gaara said nothing, instead turned his glare up to meet the amber eyes that looked down at him. Yoshio bristled at the sight of it, and sent a sharp kick right into Gaara's stomach. The force of it made the blood that had welled in his mouth spew from his lips, but he didn't give him the pleasure of hearing him cry out.

"S-Stop!" Momoko weakly protested, trying to reach out for them but Hikaru stepped forward and yanked her back and up to sit on her knees, her short hair held painfully in his fist. She could only whimper, having little energy to do anything else.

"Let her go," Gaara hissed through bloodied teeth, but it only earned him another blow to his face as Yoshio huffed.

"You're not in a position to make demands, _Lord Kazekage,_ " Yoshio mocked, and the rest of his band snickered at the tone, "In fact, you should be begging for both your life and hers."

Gaara kept his mouth shut, his glare hateful as Yoshio mockingly raised a cupped hand to his ear as though waiting for the words. When no begging came, he tisked.

"The beast can't even put his pride aside to save her," The man announced, louder now for the rest of his band to hear, "But are we really surprised?"

They sounded their disapproval, hurling their horrible words and names his way. Gaara paid them little mind though, the majority of his focus still on the woman who struggled to stay up.

" _Let her go_." He hissed again, these words with more venom than the last. Once again he was met with the same response, and the kick landed painfully into his side this time.

"She'll stay where she is," Yoshio spat, "To make sure you don't try anything with that sand of yours."

One of the men that held him kicked the gourd with enough power for it to roll a ways away from them. Though the distance didn't affect his ability to use it, Momoko was still discouraged at the sight of it. She didn't have the strength to struggle, especially with how hard Hikaru gripped at her hair, but that did not stop her from whimpering out at the sight of Gaara's blood.

"H-Hikaru," Momoko tried to reason, feeling tears well in her eyes as Yoshio continued to beat her partner in front of them, "P-Please, please."

"Be quiet," Hikaru replied bitterly and tightened his grip in her hair, but once again his words fell short of the hostility they were supposed to have.

Being a shinobi had prepared him for pain, had made him more callused to it and made it easier to endure. He hardly ever felt it in the past due to the sand that had guarded him his whole life, so the pain that shot through his body at every kick and punch still felt vaguely foreign to him. But he endured it with gritted teeth, and didn't give Yoshio the satisfaction of crying out or seeing him grimace with each hit. Even as blood poured from his likely broken nose and dripped past his split lips and down his chin, Gaara didn't make a sound.

It didn't last too long, and Yoshio was panting from the excursion when he finally let up. The men at either side of Gaara made sure to hold him tightly; their grips already bruised his pale skin beneath his coat.

His silence obviously grated on everyone's nerves, as they had eagerly looked forward to seeing and hearing his pain. But Gaara was not a weak person and he would not fuel their sick desires, so he cared little for the way they began to angrily shift about when they were not given what they so wanted.

"You're as stubborn as you are disgusting," Yoshio spat at him, but Gaara didn't dignify his words with a response, "You won't be silent for much longer, I can promise you that."

He reached out for him and took Gaara's bruising face into his hands, and Momoko felt her heart drop at the sight.

"C-Close your eyes, Gaara!" She tried to call out, "Close-!"

Hikaru put a hand over her mouth to keep her words muffled, but she still tried to talk through his fingers as her tears began to roll down her bloodied cheeks. Gaara kept his eyes on her, every part of him wanting to rip off the hands that so roughly held her, but his attention was soon drawn elsewhere by the feeling of Yoshio's long nails digging deep into the flesh of his face. He flinched at the feeling, blood instantly dripping from the wounds, but he didn't show anything more than that.

Yoshio forced his head back so that he would stare up at him, and Gaara struggled for only a moment until he caught a glimpse of amber. He had read about this kekkei genkai and what it would do, but reading was different than experiencing. No matter how he began to thrash, or how hard he was restrained, Gaara could not turn his eyes away from the expanding amber. 

Momoko's cries faded away, as did the rest of the world as everything went black.

He knew this feeling: the wind getting sucked out of his lungs, his throat feeling full of water but nothing at all. He had felt this once before and having to relive the moment all over again had Gaara struggling hard not to sink further and further into the abyss of this new reality. His body thought it knew what came next, and fought against the darkness that seemed to pull him down into the treacherous waters of his mind.

There was no light.

There was no sound.

There was nothing.

  
  


And then there was lavender.

The first thing Gaara was aware of was the smell of it that lingered in the air. It was just traces of the scent, but it was enough that it pulled him from his thoughts and brought him back to the rest of the world. He was looking out an open window, to the calm waters of a lake and green rolling hills behind it. The sight felt familiar, like he had stared at this view thousands of times, but he didn't know this place. He didn't know the trees that swayed through the wind or the lavender amongst the tall grass. It was a place his heart knew but his mind did not.

"Papa!"

He did not know who called or why, but he knew they were calling him. It drew his eyes from the window to the room he sat in. The ceilings were high and the walls were decorated with a white floral wallpaper. The furniture was in a style he didn't recognize, regal and the color of cream. White curtains billowed in the breeze that rolled through the window, filling the bedroom with more lavender and light. The canopy on the large bed swayed with the breeze, and he saw just a glimpse of flesh and gold before the voice called to him again.

" _Papa_!"

It drew his attention to the grand doors at the front of the room, where a little girl now stood. Her hair was long and flowed in crimson waves to her waist, and pale blue eyes stared up at him with a familiar gaze. She smiled at the sight of him and made her way to the armchair he sat in and the pretty ivory dress she wore flittered as she moved. Her name was on the tip of his tongue, and he felt himself reaching for her and pulling her into his lap when she was close enough. She laughed, the sound making his heart weak and his lips pull into a smile. The girl fisted the fabric of his shirt- a white, loose cotton shirt with long sleeves that billowed in the breeze and tucked into the brown trousers he wore- and cuddled comfortably into his chest.

He didn't know how he knew this girl or why he so thoughtlessly accepted her and this world, but his body and heart acted on their own. 

"Shh, my dear," Gaara gently scolded, with no real malice in his words.

The girl peeked up and to the bed where the curtains of the canopy had calmed.

"Is she still sleeping?" She whispered back, her voice hardly a whisper at all and Gaara heard himself laugh, soft and fond, for the very first time. Before he could answer, another pretty voice did so for him.

"Not anymore."

His eyes left the girl in his lap and they trailed across marble floors and up white curtains until he saw where they had parted and an angelic face peeked through.

Momoko smiled at them, her face soft and her eyes like the girl's. Surrounded by white, her hair tousled from sleep and her gaze tender, the sight took Gaara's breath away. Had the girl not been in her arms, he would have kissed her breathless and taken her right there.

"Im sorry, Momma," The girl said with a little frown, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's alright," Momoko replied kindly, before opening the curtain for them, "Your brother is still sleeping, though, so try to keep quiet."

At the invitation, the little girl in his lap perked up and scrambled down so she could make her way to the bed. Gaara felt himself rising as Momoko also disappeared behind the canopy, and he stopped for just a moment at the edge of the bed before pushing the curtain aside.

Momoko had settled back into the large bed and puffy sheets, and he could see now even under the loose ivory nightgown that her stomach was large and swollen with child. There was a young boy beside her, no more than two years old and hair the color of hers. He was as beautiful as his sister, who had now curled up on the other side of him, with a pale complexion and freckles across his cheeks. The sight of the three of them, of his entire world lying in linen, made Gaara's heart so full he feared it may burst. The fog of his mind had cleared completely, and he slipped right into bed on the other side of his wife and let his arm drape over her and around the two children that slept in the curve of her body.

The woman sighed contently at his touch, settling back against his body and turning her head to smile at him over her shoulder. He smiled back, happiness in his heart and warmth in his eyes, and she moved one hand to reach back and thread through his hair.

"Aren't they beautiful, my love?" She asked of the children who lay beside them.

"You all are," He replied, and the answer made her eyes bright with mirth. Her hand trailed from his hair to his face, and he let his eyes close at the feel of her soft fingers against his cheek.

"This is what we could have had," Momoko said, "What we could have been."

His brows furrowed, but for some reason he couldn't open his eyes- why couldn't he open his eyes? The touch of her fingers still brushed against his cheek as she spoke.

"If you weren't a monster, we could have had _a long and happy life._ "

His eyes shot open, and the white was gone. There was no Momoko, no children or ivory curtains or rolling hills. He saw grey and black, smelled fire and was suddenly very aware of a burn in his throat. Gaara sat up quickly, coughing to the point of tears as nothing but ash fell out of his mouth. It stung his throat and tongue as it fell from his lips, and he sat heaving against the sand as he emptied his stomach entirely.

The air was thick with smoke and reeked of fire. He looked up, a hand over burning lips as he tried to understand just where he was. It was Suna, in front of the Kazekage Tower. Buildings before him were burning, collapsed, and blood pooled in the sand. There were faceless bodies littering the ground; people, _his_ people. There was a heat on his back and when he turned he saw the Kazekage Tower was on fire, the largest fire in the whole village.

"It’s been too long, old friend!"A familiar voice, a voice he hadn't heard in years, cackled.

He turned back quickly, his eyes scanning the street in front of him. The scene changed for a moment, flashed to a familiar dark room and figure looming above him, before Suna was back.

"Remember these days?" The voice yelled into his ear, "Remember how much _fun_ this was!?"

He looked down to what had been the pile of ash that came from his throat, and instead saw puddled blood. He pulled his hand away from his mouth, realizing that soot had turned to blood and his skin was soaked with it. His fingers trembled before his eyes but Gaara quickly moved his hand from sight, trying to find his composure. It wasn't real, none of this was real- he just needed to remember that.

"Gaara!"

The puddle had a surface as reflective as any mirror, and the sight in it made his blood run a little cooler. 

Half of his face was warped and twisted, pulled back with sand and violet markings. His eye had been engulfed entirely in black with little but a bright pupil staring back at him. It was a face he knew too well, a face that had haunted him for years. The sight of it again after so long, of this grotesque disfigurement and the implication behind it, made Gaara nearly break his own resolve. What was worse than seeing it again was seeing it on him now: he was not the child he had been, he was the man he was now. His Kazekage robes were bloodied and torn, and the fact that he was even wearing them while bearing this face tore something inside of him apart.

He moved away from the puddle, scrambling back with a hand clenching at his face for some proof that it wasn't _real_. He knew it wasn't, it couldn't have been, but the sight was nearly too much to bear. That wasn't him-

"Isn't it though?"

This voice was different than one that jarred him enough to look back to the street. No one was there, but the words were so clear in his ears. He needed to gain control of himself, forget the lavender and ash and try to remember that nothing here was real.

"Yoshio!" He called out, finally standing from the ground, "Enough of this!"

There was laughter, shill and too loud, both in his ear and ahead of him. Still, no figure stood but the bodies that littered the street. With no reply and no chance around him, Gaara collected himself, stepped over the puddle, and made his way down the bloodied street.

As he walked, he tried not to look at the corpses of his people. He kept his eyes ahead, trying to focus on the street he knew and the place he now figured he was being led to, but at the feeling of something snapping under his feet, Gaara paused. He tried to keep his eyes up but his body felt stiff, seized by some strange force that wouldn't let him move forward. It felt like someone was pushing on the back of his headso hard that it hurt his neck as this invisible hand forced him to look down.

It was a yellow globeflower beneath his foot, its stem now snapped from the weight of his step. Finally the pressure let up and Gaara was able to raise his head again and look forward, before he was allowed to walk again.

Mapira lilies, dahlias, irises, cosmos, orchids, roses, calla lilies, blue bells. Each stem crunched beneath his foot, louder than it should have been, but Gaara was determined not to let it get to him anymore. He had already gotten too caught up in the illusion of the white room and beautiful family, and his reflection nearly made him lose his cool, but he refused to. Too much was at stake here, and he'd be damned if he gave in.

The closer he got to the marketplace, the more he dreadfully began to recognize the bodies that littered the streets on either side. At first it was the people they had lost, Yoshio's family along with the other shinobis' , but the further he got the more familiar the faces became. The first he recognized was Baki, Hana, and then the guards who had died the night Momoko was taken. Their bodies were twisted and broken, but their lifeless eyes all looked right at him. He wanted to stop almost immediately, already knowing how this would progress, but his feet didn't allow him to do so.

He saw his parents next, his father's pale face twisted in a sneer even in death and his mother's cold lips pulled into frown as she laid beside the mangled body of his uncle. Though they were lifeless, and hardly recognizable underneath the blood and sand that coated their skin, they somehow still managed to look disappointed. Their faces made Gaara's heart begin to ache, but he refused to show how rattled by it he really was.

Then were shinobi from the Leaf, some who had been there for him and others he knew by association. The first one that had struck a cold cord had been Rock Lee, whose arm and leg had been mangled and bloody once again, bone poking through flesh, and Gaara could only look for a moment before he turned his eye away again. There was Sasuke with his cold dead eyes, then Sakura who he had felt more companionship for since he had started seeing Momoko. Her hair was matted with crimson and sand, and beside her Naruto lay on his back staring up at him with empty blue eyes.

Naruto hurt more than the others, the sight of his friend in such a state nearly making him go weak. It was hard to convince himself to push on, to remember that it was just an illusion, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from how his once grinning lips were split and pulled into an ominous frown. Gaara reminded himself now with more effort, even as the stems still snapped under his feet, that none of this was real. 

He nearly forgot that when he reached the opening of the market place and saw Temari and Kankuro laying before him.

Their bodies were torn apart, wounds still bleeding and their blood pooling into the sand beneath them. The fire around them danced in their dead eyes as they stared at him, cold and empty. Finally, he was allowed to pause, _forced_ to pause and stare at them and the way their bodies had been carelessly tossed aside as though they had never mattered at all. Though his mind screamed and fought that it was an illusion, that it wasn't reality, the pain that seized his heart was all too real.

"Stop," He gasped out, gripping tightly to his heart as he tried to fight against the force that held his head in place, " _Stop_!"

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Yoshio finally spoke, this time not the omnipresent booming but instead as though he stood before him. Only then was Gaara able to turn his head, and he saw what this had all been leading up to.

The flower shop was burning, it's windows popping from the heat as the flames climbed high into the air. The pretty door, the flower beds outside, the stairs that led up to her home- all of it was consumed in it's hot fire. The worst of all, though, was the sight of Momoko’s body that lay lifeless before it.

He fell to his knees at the sight, unable to tear his burning eyes away from the crimson sand and the lifeless blues of a gaze he had loved so much. The bodies and the flowers leading up to this moment had finally reached their climax, and the pain at seeing Momoko without any life in her eyes was nearly too much to bear. It left him breathless as he was forced to look at the scared and broken body of his partner, the anger inside of him nearly on par with his dread.

"No matter what you do, how much time passes or how much help you get, that feeling will never go away." Yoshio spoke as he came out of the flames of the burning shop, coming to a stop just before Momoko's body, "Not even for a moment."

Gaara had known loss before, had felt that horrible breaking of his heart when his uncle chose death over him. He had mourned the lives of his parents, his villagers, even himself-but this wasn't that same. This wasn't an ache or even burn, it was a sharp pain that made even his fingertips prickle. It felt like someone had wrapped their fingers around his heart and squeezed with all of their might, like he couldn't even breath between the dull beats of it. The pain was so overwhelming he forgot that this was an illusion, that none of them were truly dead yet.

Yoshio had expected him to lash out, to attack through his pain as he had in the past and try to make others hurt as he did. He expected that same young boy from all those years ago, who's eyes burned with anger and hands spilled innocent blood, to come right back to the surface and prove his point that Gaara had never really changed at all.

What he didn't expect were the tears that welled in Gaara's eyes as he raised his head to meet his gaze.

"I am _so sorry_ that you've had to live like this," He gasped out, still clenching tighty to his heart through the pain.

"What are you-?" Yoshio cut himself off, the sight of his tears obviously shaking him to his core, "You're crying?!"

"I did this to you, didn't I?" Gaara choked, trying to use all of his strength to stand, "I made you feel like this for all these years." The regret was so clear in his words that Yoshio thought they may have been fake.

"Don't mock me!" He shouted back, his usually cool demeanor slipping away in this moment of surprise, "As though you can feel pity! As though you could understand my pain!"

"We're in my head, aren't we?" Gaara tried to reason, his words nearly breaking from the ache that still hurt his heart, standing to his full height with glassy eyes, "You would know if I was lying."

_Im sorry._

_None of you deserve this._

_I'd take it all back if I could._

Yoshio looked up at the sky with wide and wild eyes, the words seeming to echo through the streets outside of his own doing. Maybe it was because his emotions were high, or because he was too attached to the fantasy he had created, but his control over the illusions around him seemed to waver for just a few moments at a time. It was because of that look on Yoshio's face, the surprise at hearing this world echo words he did not allow, that Gaara saw his chance. If he could use that to his advantage, make Yoshio realize that Gaara was not the monster he had spent his whole life believing him to be, maybe he could get through to him. Gaara drew his courage from inside himself, trying his best to do justice to Naruto and try to help Yoshio just as he himself had been helped before.

He struggled to take a first step forward, having to fight hard against the force that pushed him back, but he managed it with shaky limbs. 

"I-I know what you're feeling right now," Gaara struggled to say, struggled to take another step, "I know the pain of thinking the world has turned its back on you."

 _Run!_ A child's frantic voice echoed through the burning square, as the bloodied sand around them swirled and took the shape of the children from Gaara's memories, the ones that ran at the sight of him, _Don't leave me by myself near him!_

"Stop!" Yoshio shouted, the cool façade cracked completely at the sight of memories he was not forcing from him.

"I've felt the pain that comes with losing the only people in the world who made you feel safe, feel _loved_."

 _The only thing that can cure a wound of the heart is love,_ hearing his uncle's voice again, crisp and clear and warm after so many years made the tears in Gaara's eyes finally fall, _I believe that my sister loved you, Gaara._

Gaara struggled to walk closer, the energy it took to take another step nearly exhausting him, but he couldn't let himself stop- too much was at stake. The sight of his uncle kneeling before his younger self formed for only a moment before it fell away again. Around them, the fires seemed to burn brighter and the wind picked up, carrying the smoke and sand on it. But Gaara didn't focus on that now, instead he kept his eyes on Yoshio who stood frozen in his spot, staring at him in disbelief as he fought to come closer.

"I-I spent so much of my life wanting the very thing you want now: revenge on the world that hated me, that took away the love and life I should have had."

"S-Stay away from me!"

_If you get in my way, I'll kill you too._

The sand memories took the form of the bed Rock Lee lay in as a young version of himself tried to kill him, and Naruto Uzumaki stood across from him with hatred in his eyes. 

This wasn't really about him anymore, Gaara realized the closer he got and the more tears began to drip down his cheeks. This wasn't to survive, to win the battle, to save Momoko; now, Gaara wanted to reach Yoshio the same way Naruto had once reached him. He had recognized the look in his eyes the moment Gaara met him; it was that cold detachment from the world that he himself had felt in his youth. In all his pain and despair, he had cursed the world for making him a monster, all while making a monster himself. Yoshio's heart had hardened because of what Gaara had done, and now it was only right that he try to fix the damage he did. 

"You have every right to hate me!" Gaara shouted over the wind that began to howl around them, having to now fight harder to get closer to Yoshio, "You've lost so much of your life to what I've done, to the hatred I forced upon you, but you don't have to carry that pain forever!"

 _It's almost unbearable, isn't it?_ Naruto's voice echoed above the howling wind and cracking flames, _The feeling of being all alone. I know that feeling; I've been there in that dark and lonely place, but there are others, other people who mean a lot to me._

As Gaara got closer, Momoko's body faded to dust and Yoshio tried to step back and away from him, but even he was struggling to move against the howling wind. Yoshio's hands were pressed against his ears, his white hair whipping around him as he tried hard to block out the sounds of Gaara's voice, to the words he said, but that didn't stop the Kazekage in the slightest. If anything, it only helped to push him forward.

"You don't have to hurt for the rest of your life, Yoshio! Healing doesn't mean you've forgotten them!" Gaara yelled, the sand that carried on the whipping wind now lashing across his skin, but he tried to pay it no mind, "There are other people in this world who understand you, who can love you and help you through that pain!"

 _I love you, Yoshio,_ Hikaru's voice echoed through this illusion, _I'll never stop loving you, not even for a moment._

"B-But then you just get away with it!" Yoshio protested, tears now rolling down his own cheeks, "Y-You have to suffer for what you've taken from me! What you've taken from everyone!"

"I will!" Gaara exclaimed, finally close enough to be able to reach for him no matter how hard the violent wind around them tried to stop him, "But that's my burden to carry, not yours!"

Yoshio jerked up, his eyes finally meeting Gaara's, and he expected Gaara to hurt him as he finally got close enough to touch him.

Instead of pain, of more wounds or more loss, Gaara took Yoshio into his arms and held him tightly.

"I will never know true peace for what I've done to you," He said into his ear, holding him close as the wind and fire circled closer in on them, "But that's exactly what you deserve now, peace."

The moment the word left his lips the world went quiet, the sand and fire stopping in the air, suspended by the illusion. There was no whipping wind, no crackling fire, just the trembling arms that held him tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Yoshio," Gaara spoke sincerely, "For everything you've had to go through. But I promise you that there is so much more to life than hatred."

Yoshio stood, stiff and trembling, unable to move as Gaara held him tightly and spoke words he had long since thought wouldn't be enough. Maybe it was because he fought so hard to get here, or the tears that had rolled down the Kazekage's cheeks as he struggled against the wind, but something in him finally seemed to break completely. He sobbed, watery and ugly, and the sound of it only made Gaara hold him tighter.

"I'm sorry," The Kazekage whispered, "I'm so sorry."

Everything suddenly went black, his arms becoming empty and what felt like water forcing itself down his throat. In a rush of air and pain reality came hurtling back to him, and Gaara opened his eyes with a sharp inhale of breath. For a split second he saw Yoshio still staring down at him, tears now falling from his amber eyes, before his sand sprang to life all on it's own and pushed him far away.

It felt like the world had gone slow and fuzzy, like the sound had flickered out. A split second felt expanded to a whole moment as he watched in horror how Hikaru looked to where Yoshio lay unconscious on the stone floor. Gaara saw the anger that flared inside his eyes, the rage that occurred in a flash, and he barely processed how the light caught onto the katana in his hand as he forced the entirety of it through Momoko's core.

" _No_!"

His sand pushed the men away from him in a violent burst as Momoko cried out, her teary eyes wide as the blade cut her open, the blood already seeping through the ruined nightgown she wore. Gone was his caution, his compassion, and the sand did it's own work of throwing all of the shinobi aside as he ran to her on shaking legs. Hikaru was pushed away from her and hit the stone wall with a crack, his katana pulling out of her at the motion, and Gaara reached her just in time to catch her before she hit the ground.

"G-Gaar-a," She gasped out, her body trembling as he turned her over in his arms.

"I-It's okay," He tried to reassure her over the hammering in his heart and the fear that began to consume him as the blood stained more and more of her nightgown, "It's okay, Momoko, I'm here."

"Y-You are," Momoko struggled to say, a weak smile on her lips, as Gaara fumbled to put two thoughts together, to get the roll of gauze from his staining coat, "Y-You came,"

"I did," He rasped out, his trembling fingers struggling to pack her wound with the gauze, a weak attempt at trying to halt the bleeding, "I-I'm going to take you home, Momoko, just hang on."

It felt like he was so far away. Her body was so weak already, and the blood that seeped from the gaping wound only sucked what little energy she had away. Momoko could feel his arms around her, could have sworn she heard the slow beating of his heart- or was that her heart?

"I-I-I love you," She gasped, and the words made him freeze for a moment, wide eyes turning from her wound to the way she watched him with a clouded gaze, "G-Gaara, I love you s-so much-"

"Don't!" He panicked, his heart beating wildly and painfully as he kept trying to press more pressure to her wound. She didn't feel it. "D-Don't start-"

Even though the edges of her vision had started to go black, she could see the way his wide eyes had grown glassy as he looked at her. She reached up, her hand trembling and hardly in her control as she laid it on his cheek.

"I love you, I-I love you, I love you, I love you-" She sobbed, "I-I love you, I-I-I-" Her throat felt tight and she was so tired.

He was vaguely aware of voices raising in the background, of the sound of an explosion followed by clattering wood and gusts of wind. None of that mattered, the only thing that mattered was the hot blood that burned into his skin and light that faded from his love's eyes.

"Momoko, please!" He was yelling now, "Please just hold on!"

"I-I love you," It was barely a whisper now and the tears finally fell from his eyes. "I-I love you so much Gaara,"

"I-I love you too-" Gaara sobbed, his bloodied hand moving from the wound to hold tightly to the hand that rested on his cheek, and the sudden way she looked so at peace made Gaara nauseous, "Please, _please_ , Momoko,"

"I-I love, I _love_ , I love..." 

The words and his world died on her lips.

It felt like everything went quiet. Like there was nothing beyond the weight in his arms and the dull eyes that stared back at him. Her hand had gone limb but he held onto it tightly to the point where he may have broken it.

He whispered her name once, said it twice, yelled it a fourth and fifth and sixth and seventh time. There was no response, no beautiful smile or kind gaze- not even a twitch of her hand. The silence was excruciating, as was the way her chest had stopped heaving and her head lulled back when he shook her.

Someone grabbed his shoulder, said something into his ear but he couldn't understand a word. He was sobbing- how long had it been since he had done that? All he could do was hold her and stare back at eyes that had already left him, grab tightly to the hand that he realized he was holding to his cheek.

Hands pried at him, grabbed at her and Gaara fought against them hard as they tried to pull him away. He was yelling, crying, clinging to her with the little strength he had. He fought hard as someone's arms wrapped around the middle of him and pulled him away, and Gaara couldn't care less for whoever was yelling his name into his ear. He felt his elbow come in contact with something, heard a sickening crack, but he didn't care. He could only focus on her, on the way her body was lifted from the ground by someone who wasn't him.

He couldn't leave her, she needed him, she needed to be with him, he needed to help her, she couldn't leave him-

There was a pain in his head, quick and sharp, and then the rest of the world faded to nothing.


	43. Field of Dahlias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter for you guys!! 
> 
> HUGE shoutout to Hajnal, SunKissedLibra, and hawtphoenix for their continuous feedback on the story! I’ve really enjoyed reading your comments and I appreciate the time you took to write them! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and as always, thank you so much for reading!!

The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was white. Her vision wasn't entirely focused, so she could only make out soft blurs of cream and green. She was laying down on something soft and the more aware she became the better she could feel the grass under her fingers. Momoko shut her eyes again for a while and slowly let herself come around as the calming sounds of chirping birds and running water became clearer and clearer to her. She could smell the earth and pollen, and when she opened her eyes again she could finally make out that the blobs in front of her were white dahlias.

She slowly sat up despite the fact that her body seemed the heaviest it had ever been. It felt like someone had replaced her bones with concrete, just sitting up was harder than she could remember it being. The world around her was beautiful, she soon realized; the sun shone bright above her head and a warm breeze ruffled the flowers of the field she found herself in. She wanted to stand and see just where she was, but there was a pain in her stomach that made her wince when she tried to move again.

"Easy," A soft voice called to her, and Momoko turned her head as figures crossed the field to come closer to her. Her vision hadn't quite focused enough to see the distance, but they were becoming clearer the closer they got.

"Papa...?" She rasped, her words dry and caught in her throat. She tried again to stand but found that her body didn't respond to her the way it used to.

Finally they were close to her, and Momoko took the sight of them in as tears began to well in her eyes. 

Her mother was a tall woman with a round face and kind brown eyes. Her pale blonde hair flowed in waves down to her hips- just as Momoko's used to, she was reminded. The smile on her lips was as kind as it had always been; Kimiko Akiyama was just as beautiful in death as she had been in life.

Her father still towered over the two of them, his pale eyes wide with a childish wonder Toshi Akiyama had never quite grown out of. His hair was the color of chestnuts and hung pin straight to his shoulders- Momoko could remember how he would sit on the floor and let her braid flowers into his hair when she was a child. Freckles decorated the bridge of his nose and his tanned cheeks, and his lips were pulled into the kind smile that had raised her.

They were both dressed in white and when Momoko looked down at herself, she realized she was too. She and her mother wore silk white kimonos while her father wore a yukata of the same color.

The sight of them, though wonderful after all this time, made her uneasy.

"W-Why," She asked as they sat beside her, one on each side of her. "I-I don't understand,"

"My poor Momoko," Her mother said softly as she reached out, laying her hands on her cheeks. The contact, though soft, made her flinch, "Look what they've done to you."

If she could see herself, she would have seen that despite all of the crisp white of this world, her body had been littered with bruises, cuts, and scars. None of them bled but their ache stayed behind. The side of her forehead was a red, irritated mess around the kanji that had been carved into her skin. She was a sore sight in this beautiful world.

"Momma," She whimpered, searching the woman's gaze for anything more than the pity she saw there, "W-What's happening? Where am I?"

"You're a smart girl, my dove," Her father said from beside her, taking one of her hands in his own, "You know where you are."

They sat there in silence for a while, the wind warm as it blew through them and the sweet scent of the dahlias riding on it. If it weren't for the odd melancholy of all of it, Momoko may have enjoyed this moment. She was glad to see her parents again but she couldn't shake the feeling that she shouldn't be seeing them at all. Something in her heart still tugged, like it was attached to a sting that was being pulled at by a force she didn't know. Her thoughts and memories were blurry, and it hurt her head too much when she tried to focus on what had happened.

"The Kazekage seems like a nice boy." Her mother finally said, gently breaking the silence.

Momoko didn't quite understand her words for a moment, but soon her thoughts were filled with pale eyes and gentle kisses. It crossed her mind how her mother even knew who Gaara was, but her father spoke before she could ask.

"He could be better, if you ask me." Her father commented in a tone so many fathers used, "Letting you end up here so soon."

"Toshi," Her mother lightly scolded, and the man only sighed in return.

They were silent again as Momoko tried to make more sense of herself, of what was happening and what this meant now.Her body, though it ached and hurt, wasn't nearly as hard to operate as it had been when she opened her eyes.

"Is Gaara here?" She asked, almost scared of the answer, but the fear subsided when her mother shook her head.

"He's hurt, but he's alive." 

Momoko fell silent again, processing the words over in her head.

"But I'm not...am I?"

"That all depends, my dove," Her father said beside her, "On what you want."

"What I want?" Momoko asked, looking between her parents as they sat peacefully on either side of her.

"You have a choice," Kimiko replied gently, holding one of her hands as her father held the other, "You could go back, or you could come with us."

"Where would we go?"

"Nowhere."

Momoko frowned, uncertainty tearing her away from either option. She wasn't sure what waited for her beyond the field, but she was even less certain of what waited for her back in life. As wonderful as it sounded to stay here, there was also the life she was leaving behind that needed to be considered. What would she miss if she stayed? What would she lose if she left? Truthfully, she wasn't sure what she wanted at this point.

"What would it be like?" She asked, looking between the two of them.

"It's not so scary as you think." Her mother replied with a loving smile, giving her hand a soft squeeze, "Outside of this field we cease to exist. We never hurt, we never feel pain. But we don't laugh either, or feel happiness. We are simply no more."

"T-Then how are we here?" Momoko asked.

"There is always this in-between when we die, it helps us prepare for what's next; we're just here to help you for a moment. Once we leave this place, everything we were fades to less than nothing."

"But you have people who need you back in life," Toshi said, and Momoko looked at him, "And many more years ahead of you, should you choose to go."

"But?" Momoko asked, and the frown on his lips faltered.

"Things will change." He admitted, almost reluctantly, "You've gone through so much already, and you'll go through much worse. Some wounds won't heal, no matter how much time passes." 

Their answers didn't help entirely, but they did a little. Momoko sat with their hands in hers and closed her eyes, enjoying the perfumed breeze and the feeling of having her parents so close once again.

The idea of accepting death didn't sound too horrible, she realized. She had prepared herself and come to terms with it in a scene very similar to this one. If she stayed there would be no more pain, no more suffering, nothing at all. But if she accepted that abyss, she would lose so much more in life.

Gaara would never move past this, she knew that. He would hate himself the rest of his life for what he had allowed to happen, what he had failed to prevent. The realization that Gaara was responsible for this, for her even being in this place, sat heavy in her broken heart. The hatred she had felt before flickered to life for a moment, and the idea of feeling that way for Gaara nearly terrified her. Could she go back to life when this animosity began to brew in her heart?

Her father had said that some wounds would not heal, that the worst had yet to come. Would it be selfish of her simply flicker out and hide from all of that? She had already hurt so much over mistakes she hadn't made, damage she hadn't done, could she bare going back and facing more?

"I don't want to run away from my life," She admitted sadly, "But I don't know how much more I can take."

Her parents exchanged a knowing look, one of both pity and sorrow, before looking back to her. If it was their choice, they would have her stay. Here she would never feel pain, or anything else, again, never know sorrow or hatred. But that would mean she would stop here and cease to be. As much as they wanted to keep her safe, to make sure she never hurt for another moment, there was still a life to be lived.

"If you do decide to go back, Momoko, know that you will be happy in the end."

Momoko stared at her, the words turning over in her head. It would be an easier to simply cease to exist, but she would never see Gaara again. Despite the negative feelings she had felt stirring inside of her at the thought of him, Momoko knew that she still loved him and loved him fiercely. If it meant they would end up together, happy and surrounded with the beautiful life they had created, Momoko would go back to live out the rest of her days.

"I think I know what I want."

They smiled at her, her father squeezed her hand and her mother pressed a kiss to her forehead before they stood, their touch falling away from her.Momoko could not stand to follow, instead her body felt heavy again and this time she let it pull her down to lay in the soft grass.

"Will I remember this?" She asked, watching her parents as they stood in each other's arms before her. 

"No," Her father said with his childish smile, "But we will always be with you, my dove."

"All you have to do is look up."

Her eyes became a little heavier, the world beginning to calm again as Momoko lay amongst the white dahlias. Before she closed her eyes, however, she heard a young girl calling to them and saw the way the crimson waves of her hair bounced as she ran up towards them from the bottom of the field. She didn't recognize the girl, but she no longer had the strength to form the words to ask.

"We all love you so much, Momoko. We always will."

Momoko watched as the image of her parents became blurry, as the faceless child soon stood at her side, until she sunk into the earth and was gone from this world of white.


	44. You’re Here, Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter! I look forward to hearing your feedback!! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!!

The first thing she heard was rustling, as though someone was frantically moving about. Her hands twitched and she shifted, took in a shaky breath, and soon voices met her ears. She could just barely make them out.

"Go get Gaara, now!"

Slowly, carefully, her eyes opened. She shut them quickly when the harsh lights above her made them sting but after a moment she tried once more and was finally able to open them enough to see the world around her. It was all a blur for a while, nothing taking shape, but when something squeezed her hand and she turned to look at it, her vision came back enough to see the young woman who sat at her side.

"Sak..ura?"

"Momoko!" She sobbed, and the more the woman could see the clearer her friend's face became, "Thank god!"

The world came back to her, and Momoko was soon aware of the hospital room she lay in and the tears in Sakura's eyes. With the world came the pain, and as soon as she felt the first stings she took in a sharp breath.

"H-Hold on, I'll help," Sakura said as she stood, wiping the tears from her eyes as she went to the IV drip and adjusted it, "There, you should feel better in a minute,"

Momoko said nothing, simply stared at the woman as she came back to sit down, a relieved smile on Sakura's lips as she watched her with red eyes.

"I'm so glad you're awake," Sakura breathed, tears welling in her green eyes again, "Everyone will be so happy!"

"E-Every..one?" Momoko struggled to ask, her throat tight after not being used for a while.

"Naruto and I got here as soon as we could, and Shikamaru just went to get Gaara and his siblings," She explained, then reached out to take her hand gently.

The sound of his name made her heart throb, and the realization that he could very well be hurt too made Momoko begin to worry, ignoring how it stressed her wounds to do so.

"G-Gaa-ra," She gasped, "I-Is he okay? I-Is-"

"Hey, try to stay calm," Sakura soothed her, giving her hand a small squeeze, "Gaara's fine. He's got a broken nose and a couple bruises, but he's alright for the most part. It took him a long time to calm down, though, we had to knock him out a couple times just to get him to rest. He broke Shikamaru's jaw and everything,"

Maybe the words were meant to comfort her, maybe even amuse her in some way, but Momoko didn't feel much of either. Instead she stared at Sakura, her hand loose as her friend held it tightly, and after a moment of the silence the other woman began to shift a little uncomfortably. 

"Are you-?"

She was cut off by the doors slamming open, and Momoko's whole body ached as she flinched from the sound. She turned her eyes from Sakura and to the small group in the doorway, the five looking rather frantic as they entered the room. The moment Momoko saw him, tears welled in her eyes and her heart felt like it could give out any second; she moved her hand out of Sakura's and shakily reached for him, and Gaara wasted no time in rushing to her side.

Sakura got up so that Gaara could sit, and he held her trembling hand tightly as she laid it across his cheek. The tears in her eyes had begun to fall at the sight of the yellow bruises that littered the sides of his face and the bandage fastened to the bridge of his nose. Despite the wounds that marred his skin, there was such a joy in his eyes that she wasn't sure if he could even feel them at all. 

"Momoko," He breathed, the relief so clear in his voice that it nearly made her happy for him.

"Y-You're hurt," She struggled to say, and the words drew a weak smile from him. 

"You should be more worried about yourself," Kankuro said as he stood next to the bed, his own eyes a little glassy as he looked down at her.

"Of course the first thing you do after knocking out for two weeks is stress over someone else," Naruto laughed softly beside her, and she struggled for a moment to turn her head and look at him.

He looked rough, just as every one of them did, like they hadn't slept in days. There were bags under their eyes and a weariness in their gazes; it didn't look like any of them had done anything other than sit around and worry over her. Still, despite how sullen the group of them looked, she couldn't help but be relieved to see them. The Leaf shinobi stood at the other side of her bed, Naruto and Sakura both with glassy eyes as Shikmaru stood a little behind them, bandages covering most of the bottom of his jaw. The sight of them made her sniffle, and Naruto reached out to take her hand with a sad smile.

"It's ok, Momo, we're here." He reassured her, almost as though he was also trying to reassure everyone else, "And you are, too."

His words brought such a realization to her, that she really was here and _alive_ , that it knocked the breath from her lungs. It drew an ugly sob from her lips, mangled and broken as the reality of what had happened came crashing down on her for the first time. It made Sakura cry as well, and even Kankuro had to turn away as she let herself so openly weep.

It wasn't a happy awakening by any means; happiness didn't seem possible just yet. After a little over a week of tortue, two weeks of waiting with baited breath for her to ever wake up, none of them could really find it in themselves to feel anything other than relief. Even Naruto, in all his optimism, let himself shed a few tears as the group of them just stood in her hospital room for a while. All of the stress, the pain, the loss and suffering of these past few weeks sat heavy on their hearts and no one could bring themselves to smile just yet. Momoko was alive, and for now that was enough.

They stayed in her room for the rest of the day, filling her in on everything that had happened since they were brought back to Suna. Yoshio and his band of shinobi had been arrested and were set to be tried for their crimes soon, and the mention of their names made Momoko's heart tight with something very different from sorrow. They told her about the pain of waiting so long for her to wake up, how the doctors weren't even sure if she would at all, and the room had fallen silent for a moment. Soon, though, Naruto changed the subject to something else, and the atmosphere of the afternoon took a better turn.

Despite the lightening mood, relief finally allowing for some sort of normalcy again, Momoko did not partake in their joy. She sat quietly in the bed, holding loosely to Gaara's hand as she listened to the group of them begin to talk as though life had finally returned to normal. She did not smile or laugh with the rest of them, instead simply sat and stared at the group assembled around her. The silence did not go unnoticed, but they figured it was the grogginess of having finally woke up after so long and carried on with their attempts to lighten the mood.

Eventually the doctors came and shooed the majority of them from the room, only Gaara being allowed to stay behind as they asked her questions and checked her vitals to make sure she could remain stable. Momoko said little more than needed, simple 'yes' or 'no' answers, sometimes just shakes of her head. They took her through the surgeries and procedures she had gone through when she first arrived, how they had to reset a few bones and mend others, and Gaara listened quietly with a barely contained displeasure. He knew all of this already, had been waiting outside the doors during each and every procedure, but he was here for Momoko now in case she had anything to say.

To their surprise, she didn't. She listened to the old doctor as he explained to her some of the damage that had been done to her body, how some things would scar and how they would talk about physical therapy at a later time. They had expected her to be relieved that she hadn't been too hurt beyond repair, that she would be able to get all of the help she needed and then some, but she showed little more than a few nods of understanding. There were no appreciative smiles, no timid hums; she simply sat and stared. Soon, after the doctor had explained as much as he thought necessary at this time, he left the two of them alone so she could rest just a little longer.

Once it was just the two of them again, Gaara turned his attention back to her to find Momoko staring up at the ceiling, her eyes a little cloudy and lips pulled into a thin line. There were tears that rolled down her temples and into her short hair, but she didn't make a sound. Had it not been for the slow rising and falling of her chest, he would have thought she was dead.

"Momoko," He began, reaching out to take her hand, and only then did she turn her eyes to him, "I...I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that this happened, that this-" 

"I think I need to rest," She interrupted, her words quite and yet still silencing him completely, "Can I?"

He was obviously a little surprised by her words, his brow knotted as she looked away from him again, but he didn't push her further. Maybe she was just overwhelmed by the doctor's report and seeing everyone; there would be time for this later.

"Of course," Gaara said as he gave her hand a soft squeeze.

She closed her eyes and he sat in silence beside her, his thumb rubbing soft circles into the hand he held, until the rise and fall of her chest became a little slower and he knew she had slipped into a quiet sleep. Once he was sure she had fallen asleep completely, Gaara slipped his hand out of her own and stood, pausing for a moment to look down at her.

He couldn't remember a sight that put such a hollow pit in his stomach as this one did. She looked so small laying there, her body having lost the weight she had put on in the last year and giving way to a leaner, less healthy frame. Most of her visible skin was wrapped in bandages and what he could see was littered with scars and yellow bruises. Her chest struggled to rise, as though the very action of breathing was hard on her body. Gaara felt that familiar ache in his heart, the one that gripped at him so tightly that he feared it would give out at any moment.

With a soft, shaky kiss to her forehead, Gaara left the room so that she could sleep in peace.

Sakura stood outside the doors, pacing back and forth in front of them, and only stopped when she saw Gaara coming through them. The sight of the troubled look on his face and the frown on his lips made her sigh softly, frowning as well.

"You noticed it too, huh?"

"Yes."

He said little else, instead sat in one of the chairs in the hallway, and Sakura came to his side.

"They said this would happen, that she would probably be a little off for a while." Sakura tried to reassure him.

 _It could take months, probably even years before she's back to her old self_ , the doctors had said, _She may not be the same person when she wakes up. You need to be prepared for that._

"I know."

He stared at the wall and said little else, slipping right back into the near catatonic state he had been in for these last two weeks. Gaara was usually a man of few words, but he seemed to say even less than nothing lately. He usually just stared at nothing with a furrowed brow, as though he were thinking a thousand horrible things at once. Even though Momoko had just woken up, even though they had told them this would happen, her lack of response outside of tears and dull looks seemed to shake him further.

Sakura reached out, placing a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Only then did he look at her, green eyes tired with the weight of these last few weeks.

"We just have to be patient," Sakura said, trying to offer him a small smile despite how much she herself was hurting, "All we can do right now is be here for her."

He nodded without another word, eyes drifting back to the wall before him, and Sakura left him alone to his thoughts outside of the hospital room.


	45. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! I hope you all had a very happy and very safe Halloween!! Thank you guys so much for your feedback and I hope to hear more from you after this chapter!! 
> 
> There is some sensitive content in this chapter- I don’t want to spoil it here so just brace yourself. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> **SENSITIVE CONTENT**

Sometimes, we aren't meant to heal. The daggers that dig into our skin and tear away at the flesh of our lives stay lodged in for a little too long, cut a little too deep into our beings and that skin will never mend itself back together. It will scar, ugly and raw and disfigured, a constant reminder of what we had gone through and what would haunt us until we breathed our last. These scars would stay tender even as the months turned to years, and touching them would hurt just as much as when the skin had torn in the first place. No amount of words or actions will make that scar hurt any less, nothing in the world ever would. Those moments of pain, those instances of excruciating agony were meant to change us, and those wounds would never heal so that we will never forget. Sometimes, healing just isn't possible.

The last week had been a blur of visitors, smiling faces glad that she was alright again and various balloons and trinkets littered the side tables. Naruto and Sakura came by every day, spending as much time as they could at her side until either the doctors shooed them away or it was time for her to rest again. Shinkmaru and Temari had visited a time or two, but Momoko saw the least of them. Kankuro was here often, sitting on one side of the bed while Gaara sat on the other, making whatever horrible jokes he could to make her laugh. Sometimes her eyes would crinkle just a little, and she very nearly smiled a few times, but there was little beyond that. Gaara was constantly at her side, only leaving a time or two to attend to the duties of his job, but not without making sure someone was there in his place. It went on like this for a while, just a rotation of the important people in her life moving in and out of the room to see her.

Momoko was sat up in the hospital bed, her hands in her lap as her eyes lost focus and fought for refocus. The sounds of the machines she was wired into hardly reached her ears, their shrill chimes and soft beeps sounding so far away from her. If she closed her eyes and tried harder, she could hear that the distant sound was in tune with the beat of her heart, with the throbs of each and every wound that still ached on her body. But she didn't do that, she didn't try to listen to the rhythm of her pain or the reassurance that her life wasn't truly over. She just tried to keep the world in focus.

Gaara was beside her, just as he had always been and just as he will always be. They didn't speak often, just sat beside each other and reassured themselves that they were both still here, still _alive_. That was all they could really do right now, hold their hands tightly together and try to find the words that just didn't exist yet.

She knew he was hurting, saw it in the way he stared at her with sorrowful eyes and the way he touched her like she would crumble beneath his finger tips. He didn't sleep most nights, just held her hand and watched her chest rise and fall and pray to whatever God he could that she would breathe another breath. Sometimes he let the pain show, in the way he kissed her hand with trembling lips and grabbed at the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white every time she cried from the lingering pain. In those moments a part of her wanted nothing more than to weep and hold him to her, to reassure him that she was still alive and here, that they both were.

But, for the first time in her life, Momoko wasn't in a place to comfort. She couldn't find it in her heart to smile, to whisper encouraging words and promise him the world. As strongly as she loved Gaara, she couldn't fix him while she felt so completely and terribly broken.

Her body ached with each breath and her heart sat heavy with the weight of the trauma she had just endured. This wasn't losing her family, this wasn't losing her friends or the love of her life, this was losing her. She felt like she was floating above her body, looking down at the shell of what she had once been and screaming until her throat went raw but no one could _fucking_ hear. It wasn't just pain, it was loss: her shop, her home, the life she had, the person she was. Because Momoko knew, somewhere deep inside of her that still bled and set her on fire with burning pain, that she wouldn't be the same. And it hurt worse than any wound that had been opened on her body.

The door slid open, and Momoko kept her eyes in her lap as a doctor stepped through. Gaara rose his head and watched with tired eyes as the elder shut the door behind him and stepped forward.

"Good afternoon, Miss. Akiyama, Lord Kazekage." He said, the pleasantness of his tone obviously forced- she figured it was because of the ugliness of the state she was in.

Neither of them spoke, but Momoko did lift her gaze to watch as he approached them. He had this look on his face that they couldn't quite place, and Gaara tensed in his spot beside her.

"How are you feeling today?" The elder asked, looking over the machines by her bed. It wasn't to record the numbers or take note of any changes like the doctors usually did, instead he just glanced over them before turning back to her. He didn't write anything on the clipboard in his hand, which he held close to his chest so that the paper couldn't be seen, and Momoko thought through the fog of her mind how odd it was.

"What is it?" Gaara asked curtly, his usually velvet voice deep and rough with days of dread and silence.

The doctor looked up at the Kazekage, considered him for a moment, and then looked at Momoko. When she made no move to reply to him, the doctor sighed deeply.

"I'm afraid there is something we must discuss, before moving forward with your treatment."

Momoko turned her eyes to Gaara, watched how he stayed tense and moved a little closer to her, like he was bracing himself for the possibility of having to leave her side. The doctor seemed to notice this too, and offered him what he must have thought was a reassuring smile. It was more sad than anything.

"You do not have to leave, Lord Kazekage. You need to hear this as well."

Her eyes stayed on Gaara and she turned her hand over so that he could take it. He wasted no time in doing so, turning his eyes back to her as he held her hand tightly in his own. From the furrow of his brow and the light tremble of his hand, she could tell he was worried. 

She wasn't sure what she felt, truthfully. So much of her still hurt, inside and out, what more could there be? Her condition had been stabilized, they expected her wounds to heal but not without scarring. Momoko's tired eyes stayed on Gaara for a moment more, feeling just as uncertain as he was, before she shifted her gaze to look back at the man at the end of her bed.

He still had that look, but this time it was different. It had become more clear that he was feeling something akin to pity as he watched the two of them. He finally glanced down at the clipboard in his hand, read something for just a few seconds before he set it aside with a heavy sigh.

"I was against even telling you at all, but the duties of my job do not allow me to withhold information from you."

He went silent again, and it was clear that he was holding out to say whatever it was that he had come to. The old doctor removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes, his brow furrowing as he took just a moment to collect himself before he finally spoke again in a thick tone.

"Miss. Akiyama, were you...were you aware that you were pregnant?"

Silence hung in the air thick enough that it choked her when she took in a breath. Beside her, Gaara had froze completely, staring at the man at the end of the bed with wide eyes.

It felt like drowning, those next few moments. It was worse than the genjutsu, worse than the katana that ran itself through her core, worse than anything she had ever known before. He kept talking, slowly and sorrowfully, as he explained to her what had been done to her body. The blade had done too much damage, took both their unborn child and their hope of ever having one again in one clean stab. Trying again would kill her, he had said with certainty, and after that she couldn't hear anymore.

When he finally left them, after what could have been seconds or hours, it was Gaara that first made a sound. It was a sob, ugly and watery, and he let go of her to bury his face into his hands. His shoulders trembled like a leaf in the wind, his nails cutting so deep into the flesh of his forehead that his skin bled as he wept at her side. All of the torture and agony of the last few weeks caught up to him in this moment of grave despair, and he wept unlike he ever had before. She had seen his eyes grow glassy when she was clinging to the last threads of her life and had just seen a single tear fall when the world went black. But this wasn't that, this wasn't a few drops and shaking hands, this was sorrow beyond repair.

The sight brought her back to the world, pulled the water from her lungs and forced her to the surface. She felt the last few strings of who she was untie themselves from the grasp she had fought so hard to keep, and the cries that tore through her hurt worse than any pain she had ever known. Gaara took her into his arms and she held him so tight it hurt her wounds, screamed into his chest until she hyperventilated as the reality of the world came crashing down on her. He trembled too, his tears wetting her hair, but none of that mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.

All of the beautiful things in her life had turned to ash. Nothing would be the same, nothing ever could be again. She would never see flowers without smelling the burning fires, never admire long and beautiful hair without remembering the feeling of a dull blade sawing through hers, never see a child and not dream of a red-haired one of her own. Every part of who she was, what she wanted for herself and what she dreamed of were now just hollow reminders of what could never be for her. The things in her life that mattered so much would only stand as reminders of what she had lost.

Even Gaara, holding her so close and crying beside her, had lost some of the light he had brought to her life. In all his loyalty and tenderness, he had failed to protect her, and she would spend the rest of her life paying for it.

Momoko could recover enough from Yoshio. Not entirely, but enough that she could try to have a life again. She could come to terms with losing her shop and every memory of her parents, get enough therapy and help that maybe she could find herself again one day. Of course it would take time, but a part of her could have come back from the torture she had endured...But not this. Never this. She had wanted children so horribly, had dreamed her whole life about a house full of them and could see it every time she closed her eyes. It didn't matter so much what happened in the middle, so long as she could end up surrounded by the family she had created and the children she had lived her whole life to have. Shops could be rebuilt, flowers could be replanted, but that dream could never become a reality now. She would never have children that she could watch grow or love with all of her heart. The one thing she was certain could never be taken from her was gone, and with it went some of the love she had felt for Gaara.

She sat awake that night, watching him as he stared up at the ceiling and lost himself in the horrible thoughts that still made his hands shake. His eyes were almost as swollen as hers, his cheeks raw from having wiped so many tears away. Gaara looked the smallest she had ever seen him, and a part of her hoped he felt small, too.

She wanted a calm life, a safe and quiet existence with someone who loved her as fiercely as she loved him. She had that in Konoha, with Naruto, but the fear of losing him to his shinobi lifestyle had driven her away. It was foolish of her to ever believe being with Gaara would be any different. He was the Kazekage, there would always be someone in the world who didn't like him, disagreed with his leadership or hated him just enough to try to hurt him. Getting close to him, loving him, had put a target on her back. Yoshio hadn't seen her as Momoko, he had seen her as an extension of Gaara, a way to hurt him and nothing more. Not a person or a living being with her own life and dreams. She was just a thorn to be dug into Gaara's side with the hope of bleeding him out. How many other evil people saw her as that, too?

But she had loved him so much that she hadn't cared about any of that. Momoko just wanted to be his, just wanted to kiss him and wake up next to him and hear every promise he whispered in her ear. She wanted so badly to love and be loved by him that she had forgotten herself and the reality of the world they lived in. People like Gaara didn't get to just live happily ever after, shinobi were doomed from the very moment they left the academy. Being the Kazekage had only added fuel to the fire and she got burned; if she stayed at his side, she would just keep burning.

For everything he had caused, for the dreams that had been ripped away from her and the loss of the person she was, Momoko hoped that Gaara burned, too.


	46. His or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will clarify this just incase it’s not coming across well enough! The way she’s acting now is a direct effect of the trauma that’s happened. A lot of the time, victims and survivors will try to rationalize what happened and sometimes, they do so negatively. In this case, while yes she told Gaara not to kill anyone for her sake, the loss of the child and really her entire life has Momoko trying to place blame wherever she can, giving her something to direct her anger at instead of just sitting in it. I wrote it like this because I wanted to emphasis what the loss of her dream of having a family has done to her, how it’s shaken her character so deeply that she’s started to fall back on some of the things she stood for in the past as they have now failed her. I hope this clears some things up as you read on!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the feedback on the last chapter! I know it was a rough one but I’m you stuck through it with me! 
> 
> We’re in the home stretch now; there’s 3 more chapters after this one and then the epilogue! 
> 
> Also, for the readers in America: I hope you’re all staying safe and handling the waiting well! I have been up all night dreading this election but we can all get through it together! Stay strong! 
> 
> As always, I look forward to hearing your feedback and thank you very much for reading!

"You should have seen it- the both of them were beet red and they _shook hands_!" Kankuro laughed, "It was ridiculous! At this rate, they won't be married until they're 60!"

Early this morning the Leaf shinobi had finally departed for home. After nearly a month of staying by her side, the duties of life called to them again and so they decided to return back to their respective village. Naruto and Sakura had been a little more reluctant to go, insisting that they could stay longer and very nearly doing so, if it wasn't for the message from the Hokage requesting their return. Reluctantly, and sadly, the trio took their leave.

They had come to say goodbye to her the night before, Shikamaru only staying for an hour or so while Sakura and Naruto stayed through the night. They tried to make the most of it, tried to cheer her up and reassure her that things would get better soon, but the cloud that hung over her was too dark even for them to navigate through.

Everyone knew- Momoko knew that they did. She could see it in their eyes: the pity, the sorrow, the secondhand loss. As soon as Sakura heard from the nurses, she burst into her hospital room and didn't leave her side for the next few days. Sakura knew better than anyone how much pain Momoko was in; they had spent their whole lives talking about the families they would have and the children they would raise, Momoko far more adamantly than she. Naruto hadn't said much about it, but from the way he held her hand so tight and stared at her with dreary eyes, he knew the weight of this loss as well.

Though she couldn't find the strength or the words to express it, Momoko was glad they had been here at all. Sakura had been an anchor her whole life, there from the very beginning and would be until the very end. Though she and Naruto had decided to part ways, he remained as loyal of a friend as ever. Their presence was a reminder of better days, of sunshine and a happy life. They were here for her in the ways they had always been and Momoko only wished she could have told them how much it meant to her.

As much as she had wished it so, the world didn't stop for her. Life carried on beyond the window of her hospital room; her friends had lives to resume, duties to tend to, and she had to try very hard to remind herself that her pain was not their burden to carry. Time moved slowly in the hospital- it could have been years and Momoko wouldn't have even noticed. The days melted together in a grey blur, like she was flipping through an old book with water-damaged pictures. The only thing that would sometimes stand out was the therapist that would come and talk to her multiple times a week, but she paid her little mind and so most of the words fell on deaf ears.

Gaara was here often but they never spoke, never touched. Momoko laid with her back to him, and after the first few days of not receiving a single word in response, Gaara finally settled for silence. He was here for a lot of the therapy sessions, trying his best to be receptive but failing so many times. Mostly, he sat quietly at her side, tears welling in his eyes but never falling, and stared at the ceiling as the hours dragged along. He was allowed two weeks by his council to mourn, but once that time had run out he was expected back in the office; the world carried on, unfortunately that applied to the Kazekage as well.

When Gaara was gone, Kankuro was there to take his place. Gaara would stop by in the mornings before work and again afterwards, and Kankuro was there every moment between. He did his best to make the most of the situation, trying to lighten her mood by telling her silly jokes or weird things he saw on the walk there. He would bring her books sometimes, and though they went untouched, he never stopped setting a new one on her side table every few days. Gaara was grateful that Kankuro was there for her when he couldn't be, glad that someone was there to distract her from her thoughts.

That's where he was now, sitting at her side as they sat in the courtyard of the hospital. She had been allowed to leave her room once in a while with some assistance, so Kankuro would help her into a wheelchair and together they would head outside. The fresh air was nice- it did little for her mood but it was a change of scenery, and for that she was grateful.

"She ran off before I could make fun of her, but once I see her at home, she's never gonna hear the end of it!" Kankuro snickered, and Momoko simply stared ahead.

She hadn't said much this last month, hadn't really done much of anything. There was no conversation, no smiles or laughter, or even a crinkle of her eyes anymore. Sometimes she would make eye contact, but there was little beyond that. Once in a while it would look like she wanted to say something, but most of the time she didn't. It bothered Gaara, that was obvious, but he couldn't find it in himself to say anything about it just yet. Kankuro was also a little unnerved by the dull silence, but he didn't let it get to him nearly as much. 

"I told them to send a letter once they're home safe, I'll bring it to you when I get it," He said beside her, "It should only be a couple days before they get back to Konoha."

Momoko's tired eyes turned from the blue sky and to Kankuro, and he nearly startled at the motion. She stared at him while he stared back, silence lingering between them. It was the most interaction anyone had gotten from her in a while, and Kankuro couldn't help but bask in it.

"You okay there, Peaches?"

She leaned her head back against the headrest of the wheelchair, her eyes dull as they bore into him. Momoko shifted, took in a soft breath, and looked like she was about to speak before a sharp pain in her abdomen took that breath away. Kankuro scooted closer to her on the bench he sat on beside her wheelchair, looking her over quickly. 

"Take it easy, you're not completely healed yet."

Momoko had rested a hand on her stomach as a reaction to the pain, but even as it died down, her hand stayed. Her gaze had dropped down from Kankuro and to her stomach, and now she stared at it with a small frown on her lips. The sight made his heart ache, and he reached out to place a hand on her armrest. She didn't look at him, instead stared down, and slowly but surely, he noticed that something in her gaze had started to shift. The sadness hardened, turned to something a little colder as she glared down at the hand that sat above the thick layers of bandages on her abdomen. He thought the pain would have made her reconsider talking, but to his surprise she spoke for the first time in a long time.

"I hate him," She said quietly, a venom clear in her words, "I-I _hate_ him."

"Who?" Kankuro asked, both surprised by the fact that she was even talking and by the words themselves.

"Hikaru," Momoko hissed out his name, her voice a little rough from unuse, "The man who did _this_."

Kankuro looked down to her hand, a frown on his lips and a harsh look on his eyes.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore, Momoko," He replied, his own displeasure hardly contained, "That bastard is dead and gone."

Her head snapped up, eyes shooting from her stomach to him, the confusion clear in them. It was the most emotion she had shown in weeks and it nearly startled him.

"He's dead?" She repeated quietly, her brow furrowed, "I thought the council wouldn't let Gaara kill anyone."

"He didn't," Kankuro replied evenly, an odd look in his eye, "I did."

Momoko stared at him, her eyes tired and her mouth slightly agape, and he stared shamelessly back. No one had told her he was dead, just that the group of shinobi would stand trial. Gaara had left out that detail while reading her the mission report; Momoko felt a bitter anger flare inside of her at the thought. He had filled her in on the week she was gone, why it took so long to reach her and why he wasn't able to fight back. He hadn't trusted himself to stop once he started, and a change of heart had kept him from slaying the shinobi when they came face to face. The words were probably meant to comfort her, let her know that he remained true to the person he was and that he wasn't the monster they claimed him to still be, but it made her more angry than anything.

"Why did you...?"

Kankuro looked away from her, down to the sandy ground of the courtyard, a deep frown on his lips. He had thought over the moment hundreds of times since it happened, replayed each and every detail nearly every day.

"It was over pretty quickly after we got there- they didn't stand much of a chance against Temari and I, especially not with the Leaf ninja with us. We had to knock Gaara out too, and when we were rounding up the shinobi, I saw him," He explained, glaring at the ground, "He had hit the wall so hard it fractured his spine- he was just laying there, bloody and gasping for air. It wasn't enough damage to kill him, but he couldn't move his body. I was going to just pick him up and haul him out, but then I saw that bloody katana in his hand and I..."

He fell silent, lips pursed into a thin line. For a moment he said nothing but soon picked up again, his words more firm than before.

"They just labeled it as an accident, that his neck had been broken too. But I got him, Momoko." Kankuro finally lifted his gaze, eyes boring into her, "I only wish I could have made it hurt more."

Momoko didn't know exactly what to feel at first. The part of her that had died along with her child would have been upset, would have been angry at him for killing someone in her name, but she felt no such thing now. There was no resentment, no sadness, only relief. It felt like a weight, miniscule but still a weight nonetheless, had been lifted off her shoulders. She hadn't thought of revenge yet but this satisfied that urge the moment it surfaced.

Maybe, had it been Gaara who killed him, Momoko wouldn't have felt the anger that began to burn in her heart. But it wasn't Gaara, it was Kankuro who had killed him. Kankuro who had actually fought back and done something more than just talking it through. Had it been any other situation, maybe she would have thought talking was the best option, but the more she looked back on the horrific events, the more she realized that Gaara should have done so much more. He could have come in swinging, killed them before they could even get the chance to hurt her again, before they had a chance to _kill their child_. All of this could have been prevented if Gaara had the same instincts as Kankuro, if he had placed matter over mind.

The anger she had felt in these last few weeks burned hotter and brighter than it ever had before, and it was all because of Gaara. His inability to protect her, his lack of action when given the chance, the fact that _someone else_ had to take matters into their own hands for anything to get done, all of it made her heart sink further and further into herself. Something felt as though it had snapped inside of her at the words Kankuro had said, like the simmering feelings had come to a boil, and Momoko couldn't find it in herself to try to calm down.

"Do you remember when you walked me back to my shop, after I got the order for the wedding?" She said suddenly, her words cold and her glare sharp.

He remembered every detail of that day- she had kissed his cheek in front of her door, and the memory of it made his heart clench.

"Of course," Kankuro nodded with a furrowed brow, obviously a little lost from the shift in conversation, "Why?"

"You made me promise you that I would leave the moment I doubted myself, when I realized that I can't handle the weight of being with Gaara."

It clicked right then, what she was getting at. Kankuro could only stare at her, his mouth hung open a little as her somber glare bore into him.

He couldn't remember a time in his life when he had felt such a great confliction. He knew Gaara couldn't handle losing her, knew it with every fiber of his being that his brother would never recover if Momoko decided to walk away. They all knew that she was the love of his life, that she would be the first and last person Gaara would ever let so close. If she left them, his brother would suffer and suffer horribly for the rest of his life.

But then there was Momoko, and what _she_ wanted. He understood her anger at the world in the few ways that he could; she had lost so much here, staying in Suna could very well hurt more than it helped. Maybe she could find herself again somewhere else, far away from Suna and the memories that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

The whole thing boiled down to a choice between Gaara and Momoko. By encouraging her to go, he would only contribute his brother's inevitable suffering. By asking her to stay, she may never find herself again and could be lost to them forever. He knew he should try to get her to change her mind, talk her down from the anger and try to get her to see reason, try to get her to stay. But another part of him, the part that loved her, said otherwise.

For his own selfish reasons he wanted her to stay in Suna, to stay in his world and his life in whatever small way she could. She wasn't his to begin with, but that didn't mean being without her would hurt any less. Momoko didn't love him like he loved her, she never would. He would never know her touch or feel her kiss, but that didn't mean he wouldn't do whatever he could for her. Maybe it was selfish of him, to aid her at his brother's expense, but in that moment as her eyes bore into his, he promised himself that this would be the only time he ever let himself be selfish. His or not, Kankuro was in love with her. 

_Because as much as I want her love, I want her happiness._

"What do you need me to do?"

"When you get the letter from Sakura and Naruto, let them know I'll be coming back and to make preparations."

Kankuro nodded without a word, finally tearing his eyes away from hers, and together they spent the rest of the afternoon in silence.


	47. So Much and Not Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more chapter after this and then the epilogue! We’re so close! 
> 
> Thank you guys for your feedback on previous chapters, I look forward to hearing from you for this one! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy!

When she had finally been cleared to leave the hospital, Gaara had thought she would have at least _looked_ happy about it. He didn't expect her to smile or cry tears of joy, but he had expected something. The doctor had come into her room with a cheerful smile but Momoko just listened to the good news with pursed lips. The sand siblings had already been given the rundown on how to care for her from this point out, and so she had been discharged into their care. He noticed the way her lips twitched downwards when she was told that.

Most nights, Gaara would come home and find her sitting on the balcony and watching the sky, her crutches disregarded as she sat in silence. The wind would pick up her hair, twirl the short strands in the breeze, but she wouldn't flinch. Her head would stay tilted back, and her dull eyes would just stare out into the endless blanket of night. Gaara would set his things down and join her, making sure to keep some distance between the two of them. When he would sit beside her, he could see tears well in her eyes but they never fell. So they stayed like that, silent and somber, and watched the sky.

They didn't speak much anymore. He would wake up to her back facing him and her body curled on the other side of the bed. The meals that were once filled with chatter and laughter were silent. Everything was silent, now. No good mornings or good nights, no welcome homes or goodbyes. Momoko would raise her eyes to meet his every once in a while and those few moments of some kind of contact were just barely enough to hold him over.

He didn't get angry or impatient, he knew what she was going through. Of course he had suffered as well these past few weeks, but it felt like Momoko had lost so much more than he had. The therapist he saw reassured him every week that it would take time for her to heal, that he just needed to stick it out for a while longer until she began to show signs of recovery. For her, Gaara knew he could wait a lifetime. So that's what he did: wait. He waited for a word, for some sort of sign that Momoko was still here at all. Those signs hadn't come yet, and even if they never did, Gaara wasn't going anywhere. He had promised her a long and happy life, and he would never stop trying to give that to her.

Gaara would never stop trying to fix the mistakes he had made.He should have paid more attention to the report when it first landed on his desk, should have paid more attention to whatever it was that had lurked in the shadows, should have refused to stay at work later that night. There were a million things he should have done differently, a million mistakes that he would spend the rest of his days correcting.

Sometimes the weight of his shortcomings would sit too heavy on his chest and take his breath away. He would have to pause, set his pen aside, and bury his face into his hands. The pain of what they had lost would sometimes come back to him all at once and it nearly crippled him. He had recovered as well as he could from his childhood, from his father's abuse and his village's hatred, but he wasn't sure how to heal from this. How did someone recover from losing a child?

Of course they hadn't known about her- it was a girl, the doctor had later told them- but the moment they did Gaara had felt a love so strong and so unfamiliar to him just a second before feeling an equally foreign pain. They didn't have time to celebrate her, to love her or plan for her, they were robbed of those opportunities. He had never imagined himself a father until Momoko had painted the beautiful picture of their future together and when he had thought about his life after that, he couldn't see it without a family. He had only wanted it for so shortly but the pain had been so real. He had lost his daughter, _they_ had lost their daughter.

What was worse than losing what you almost had was losing what you already have. As much as he was reassured that she would come back to him in time, it felt like he had lost Momoko, too. The light in her eyes was gone, her smiles were nonexistent and the happiness that she had once seemed to glow with had gone dull. The picture of the girl he had first seen in her files, the one that lit up the whole photo with her smile, was not the same person as the Momoko he knew now. She didn't laugh like bells or kiss him breathless. This woman was just a hollow shell of who she had once been, a pale shadow compared to the bright ray of light Gaara had fallen in love with. But that was okay, he would make it okay. No matter how long it took or how hard he had to try, Gaara would not give up on trying to heal her the way she had healed him.

And even if she never healed, even if she never smiled as brightly or the color never came back to her world, Gaara would still be there. Even if she couldn't bring herself to ever love him again, to hold him close or kiss his lips, he would stay and live with the consequences of the promise he had broken. Because no matter how hard it was to watch her waste away and no matter how hard it would be to keep some distance between the two of them when they watched the stars, Gaara would always love her. That love would keep him right there at her side, where he would stay for the rest of their days.

It wasn't until nearly two months after they had gotten her back that Momoko showed much of anything at all. It was especially dry today, almost unbearably so, and the sun beat down hard on their backs. Gaara had spent most of the day in his office, trying his hardest to get work done but only managing a little, so his mood was already rather damp by the time he came home. He expected her to be in their room where she always was, but the sight of her sitting in the living room with Kankuro at her side and Temari standing before them made him pause in the doorway.

His siblings turned to him the moment they heard the door opening, Temari's gaze troubled and Kankuro's brow furrowed. Momoko kept her back to him, didn't even flinch as he quietly closed the door behind him and set his things aside.

"What wrong?" Gaara asked, his words tired, almost hesitant from the way his siblings were looking at him. When he stepped closer, he could see an open letter sitting on the coffee table.

The frown on Temari's lips deepened as she looked to Momoko, who still hadn't turned to Gaara. Kankuro looked at her as well, and the four of them sat in a stiff silence for the next few moments. It put a pit in his stomach, one he had grown all too familiar with.

"You two should talk." Temari finally said, then gestured Kankuro up to follow as she left the room.

Kankuro said something so quietly to Momoko that Gaara couldn't quite hear it, but he soon stood and followed Temari. Just before he left, he placed a hand on Gaara's shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze, the look in his eyes something akin to pity. The front door opened and shut again, leaving the two of them alone in the large house. Slowly, he came further into the room and took a seat across from her, his heart heavy as he finally did so.

Momoko stared at him with narrowed eyes and her lips pursed into a thin line. She didn't say anything, instead pushed the letter closer to him across the table before folding her hands in her lap again. He frowned, the confusion clear on his tired face, and reached out to take the letter in hand. The broken seal bore the leaf symbol, one he recognized from multiple reports from the Hokage.

_Momoko Akiyama,_

_We would be more than happy to welcome you back to Konohagakure. The paperwork has been processed and your family home has been refurnished with the funds provided. All we need now is the Kazekage's signature and-_

"What is this?" He rasped, gaze darting from the paper to her.

She did not turn her cold eyes from him, "Transfer papers."

" _Transfer papers_?" Gaara repeated, skimming through the rest of the letter to find her words were true, "Why would the Hokage send you transfer papers?"

"Guess."

He startled at the venom behind in her voice, looking up to find her glaring out the window of the living room. Her expression had shifted to something harder and the harsh look in her eyes nearly made his blood run cold.

Gaara looked back down at the papers, his hands beginning to tremble as the words sank in. He read it once, twice, until the shaking of his hands blurred the words too much to read. He set it aside, trying to collect himself but finding it very hard to do so with how little she was giving him in return. A weight began to press on his racing heart, pushing it further and further down into the pit of his stomach.

"I-I don't understand-" He stopped, took in a deep breath despite how little it helped. There were so many thoughts racing through his head, each one fighting towards the surface but unable to break.

"I can't stay here." She replied firmly, hands clenching at the fabric of her pants as she kept her eyes away, "I'm going home."

"You _are_ home," Gaara retorted, and Momoko huffed in return, "I know it doesn't feel like it right now but this _is_ your home,"

"My shop is gone, my house is gone, my flowers are gone- everything of mine is _gone_." Momoko said, "There's nothing for me here anymore."

" _I'm_ here." He replied, hurt clear in his words.

She didn't say anything in return, but the grip on her pants was so tight that her knuckles were white. There was no reassurance, not even a softening of her gaze; her silence was crippling.

"Will you talk to me?" Gaara asked, sounding a little too desperate for his own liking, "Please?"

"What is there to talk about?" Momoko replied sharply, "I'm leaving, Gaara. It's over."

The words knocked the breath from his lungs, and the pain that shot through his heart made him nauseous.

"No," He said quickly, shaking his head, "No, it's not over. We're going to talk though this and-"

"And what?" She snapped, finally turning her glare to him, "Pick up where we left off? Act like nothing's changed? You're a fool if you think that's happening."

"We don't have to pick up where we left off," Gaara tried to reason with her despite her obvious anger, "But we do have to talk about this. You can't just leave without telling anyone, especially without telling me."

"I'm telling you now, aren't I?" Momoko huffed, "So now you know. Once I get your signature-"

"You're not getting my signature," He cut her off firmly, his words almost as cold as hers, and set the letter down on the table, "I know what you're going through and I know things seem too bad to fix right now, but running away from this isn't going to help."

"Don't act like you understand!" She snapped, her first real emotion in months being such blatant anger, "You can't even begin to understand what this has done to me!"

"You know that's not true," Gaara replied sharply, "Everyone has been hurt by this, Momoko, you're not the only one who's suffered. And I don't say that to invalidate your feelings, but it's unreasonable to think that you're the only one who's been hurt by this."

" _Unreasonable_?" Momoko repeated, " _Unreasonable_ is thinking you could talk your way out of an attack and still win, _unreasonable_ is putting someone else's life at risk because you feel the need to play savior!"

"Are you blaming me for this?" He asked, startled by her cold words.

"Who else is at fault here, Gaara!?" She exclaimed, "Because it definitely isn't me!"

" _Yoshio_ is who you should be blaming," Gaara replied, feeling his own temper begin to rise against his better judgement, " _He_ was the one who took you, Momoko. _I_ was the one who brought you back.

"You tossed your sand aside and let it happen!"

"Let it happen?" He repeated in disbelief, "They would have killed you if I even tried!"

"They killed me anyway!" Momoko all but shouted, anger clear in her glare, "You could have at least tried to fight back- you would have won, too! All it would have taken was a flick of your sand and they would have been dead!"

The words surprised Gaara enough that he fell silent and he couldn't help but stare with widened eyes as she pursed her lips and turned away from him.

"You...wanted me to kill them?"

She didn't say anything, instead glared so sharply down at the fabric of her pants that she could have burned holes into it. It was a tense silence that came from her, one that Gaara didn't recognize in the slightest. He couldn't wrap his head around this idea, around the very thought that Momoko would even entertain the notion after so adamantly fighting against it in the past. 

"I couldn't kill them, Momoko, you know that," He finally spoke after a moment, trending the waters carefully. He had never had to walk on glass while talking to her, and doing so now didn't feel right.

"Because your council told you to," She barked a humorless laugh, "Because you're just such a wonderful person that your heart couldn't bear it,"

"You don't have to be cruel," He defended himself, wounded by her words but trying his hardest to keep his cool since she obviously wasn't, "Did you not argue that nobody deserves to die, no matter what they've done?"

"To which you said that some people do!" Momoko retorted sharply and Gaara sighed.

"It doesn't matter what I said, Momoko, what matters now is what you said," Gaara argued, "You told me that if I were to ever kill anyone on your behalf that you would never forgive me. You made such a point that day to defend the life of everyone, even those who did you wrong. When it came time for me to make the choice, I made _your_ choice." 

"Don't make this sound like it was an act of love!" She snapped back, "You said that you would kill anyone that tried to hurt me, you even made it a point to tell your siblings that you were going to defy your council and do it anyway! But when the moment came, you choked!"

"I did what you asked me to!"

"You should have done what you said you would! You shouldn't have done it for me!" 

"I didn't do it just for you!" His voice rose for the first time tonight, but Momoko didn't flinch, her glare as cold as ever, "I wanted to kill them more than I've ever wanted to kill anyone before, but that desire is what caused all of this to begin with! I'm not the person I was back then, I'm not the monster they claimed me to be! More than I wanted to spare them for your sake, I spared them for _mine_. I've come so far, Momoko, and I couldn't just throw it all away! I thought you would be glad!"

"I am glad!" She shouted back, her words dripping with a crude sarcasm as she threw her hands in the air, "Thank god that at least _Gaara_ got his closure! That _Gaara_ finally feels good about himself!"

" _Stop_!" Gaara all but roared as he sprang up from his chair and this time she couldn't help but shrink away, "Stop with the sarcasm, stop with the rude comments and the cruel remarks! I understand your anger, but I won't sit here and let you belittle me! It isn't fair!"

"I think it's perfectly fair!" She yelled, bouncing back quickly, "Why shouldn't I be able to get upset?!"

"You're allowed to get upset!" Gaara argued, "But that doesn't mean you get to put me down! No matter how angry you get, or whatever it is we go though-"

" _We_?!" Momoko cried out, cutting his sentence short.

For just a split second she forgot about the crutches she had leaned on for the last few weeks, about the bones that had been broken multiple times in her legs and the pain that shot through her, and she flew up to stand from her seat. Momoko couldn't even stand longer than a second, and her knees buckled from the pain instantly. Before she could hit the ground Gaara had quickly stepped around the table and grabbed her, holding her to him as she fought back the tears that the pain had brought to her eyes.

"Let go of me!"

"You're not healed," He replied sharply, the anger still clear in his eyes as he lowered her back down. As soon as she was fully seated she pushed herself away from Gaara, moving to the other side of the couch as he came to take a seat on it as well.

A tense silence hung between them for a moment, Gaara taking the time to cool his temper and Momoko wiping at the tears that came to her eyes. Had she been the same person she was before she would have been embarrassed, maybe even sad, but all it did was fuel the fire in her heart. It further proved the point that she was trying to make, but she needed to collect herself before making it.

It hurt to be so upset at her, to feel such anger at Momoko, but he couldn't help it. She was being cruel and unfair, uncharacteristically so, and it was such a stark contrast to all the other serious conversations they've had that it left him wounded and confused. He didn't know how to navigate these new waters, how to be angry at her without letting it lead to resentment. Gaara tried so hard for so long to get his temper under control, but he was having a very hard time doing so now. Maybe it was everything at stake, the weight that rested on the result of this conversation, but Gaara wasn't sure how to handle this abundance of emotion. 

" _We_ didn't go through anything, Gaara." She finally spat out after a few moments of silence, having collected herself as best as she could as she avoided his gaze, "I did. They took _me_. They beat _me_. They hurt _me_. And for what? Because of something _you_ did."

"We're not going to talk about that," Gaara replied a little too quickly, fear beginning to rush to the surface through the anger, "You've said multiple times since the very beginning that you don't hate me for what I've done in the past, that who I was and what I did didn't matter because I wasn't that person anyone. I won't sit here and listen to you take back one of the most important staples of our relationship."

"Then leave!" She hissed, but he didn't back down.

"No." He replied firmly, "Neither of us are going anywhere until we sort this out,"

"There's nothing to sort out!" Momoko snapped, "I'm leaving, we're over, it's done! There's nothing else to talk about!"

"You know that's not true," Gaara said, muscling his way through the pain her words brought, "You've always been so insistent on talking through our relationship, on communicating with each other. Why are you so against it now?"

" _Why_?" She spat, finally turning her sharp glare to him, "You really what to know _why_?"

He didn't reply, instead kept his steady gaze on her and waited for her to finally talk. When no words came from him, Momoko spoke her mind for the first time since they came back.

"I don't want to talk to you, Gaara. I don't want to talk things through and resolve it, because I'm _angry_ , and I just want to be angry." Despite her words, there was a confusion in them that he didn't understand, and a look in her eyes that he couldn't quite place, "I don't want to forgive you, I don't want to make things better, I don't want to hurry up and get over it! All I want to do is sit here and be angry all the time, and scream and cry and-and," She choked on her words, her eyes beginning to sting but she fought on anyway, "And I want to hate you! Because I didn't deserve any of this! _She_ didn't deserve any of this! But I was so fucking _stupid_ to fall in love with you and still think everything would be alright in the end, that nothing else mattered because we would be together! I want to hate you so badly, Gaara, that it _hurts_!"

He couldn't really help the tears that began to well in his eyes, or the way that his heart clenched so tightly in his chest that it made each breath nearly impossible to breathe. The last time he had felt this, this gut-wrenching pain, had been the night Yashamaru died. To hear the person he loved most in the world _want_ to hate him tore every fiber of his being apart for the second time in his life, and the anger he had fought so hard to deflate now vanished in the presence of this agony. Gaara grabbed tightly at his heart, dropping his stinging gaze from her, and the sight of it brought a broken sob from Momoko's lips.

"B-But then you _cry_ , and I know I'm why you're crying and that hurts _so much more_. No matter how much I want to stay angry or how much I want to hate you, I just _can't,_ because even after everything that's happened, everything you've caused, I-I still-" She sobbed, ugly and raw, "I still love you, and I'm so angry at myself because I don't want to. I've lost my home, my shop, everything left of my parents, m-my _child_ , my hope of ever having one again because of you, Gaara. Everything has been taken from me because of _you_ , and I hate that I still feel like I can't breathe unless you're near! I hate that even after everything, all I want to do is be with you! I don't _want_ to feel like that, Gaara! I don't want to be so in love with you that I forgive you for the sole purpose of staying at your side!"

Her words trailed off into sobs, ugly and broken, and Gaara didn't hesitate to let his own tears finally roll down his cheeks.

Through the cloud that hung over this moment of great despair, what was arguably one of the worst moments of their lives, Gaara remembered something he told himself what seemed like a lifetime ago. It was when they were in Konoha, when they had encountered Naruto again, and Gaara realized the feeling that gripped at his heart now as being the same thing he felt so long ago.

He wanted so much more for Momoko than this, than a life of dependence and being unhappy for the sake of not wanting to be without him. All this time Gaara had thought that she would need him to lean on in the aftermath of their loss, that the only way they could heal would be together, but as they sat there and wept, he realized that he had been wrong. What Momoko needed to heal wasn't him, it was herself. She needed to find herself again amongst the ashes of their loss, and the greatest pain Gaara had ever felt in his life was realizing that she couldn't do that here.

He had to let her go. As much as he wanted her to stay, to be with him in any way she would allow and to never leave his side again, he knew that it wasn't what she needed. It didn't matter that he needed her, because Gaara hadn't lost himself like she did. Even after everything, after the horrible results of the decisions he made, Gaara was sure now more than ever that he really had changed, and changed for the better. He had spent so long building up the strength to be able to turn away from his rage even when given a chance and to finally realize that he really _could_ do it, a part of him rejoiced. Even when faced with one of the hardest decisions of his life, Gaara had proven not just to the world but to himself that he had finally become the person he had worked for so long to be. It had taken tremendous loss and came at too high a price, but Gaara had never been more sure of who he was and how much he had changed.

Momoko didn't have that. She didn't have the closure of knowing her character couldn't be broken, it was the complete opposite. Momoko had lost herself entirely in every way she could, from what she believed in to what she felt. Her world view had been so shaken by their loss that it had sent her entire being off kilter, leaving her to sift through the ashes in hopes to find just some sign that she was still really here at all. He could see it in the way she looked at him, in her dull eyes and tired frown, that she wasn't the same woman he had fallen in love with. She was Momoko, but now neither of them were very sure who _Momoko_ was anymore.

That wasn't something they needed to sort out together. It wasn't another obstacle in their relationship or another test of their love, it wasn't about them at all. This was entirely about Momoko, who she was now and who she wanted to be, who she _could_ be in the wake of their misery. If Gaara was always there to catch her when she fell, Momoko would never be able to pick herself up. She needed to be able to grow into her new self without basing it off of him and what he wanted, without his love and desires to influence her as she found herself again. As much as he wanted her to stay and to spend the rest of their lives together, in that moment Gaara realized that sometimes love just wasn't enough.

So he wiped his tears away and stood, and she watched him through her own clouded gaze as he left the room and came back with a pen. Gaara took a seat beside her again, sure to keep some distance between the two of them, and grabbed the letter that still lay open on the coffee table. At the bottom of the page, in the space left for his name, Gaara signed his neat signature with a heavy heart. When the ink had dried he held out the letter to her and she was too surprised to do anything more than simply stare with wide eyes.

"Go," Gaara said, soft but firm, pain clear in his words despite how sure they were, "Go and do whatever it takes for you to be happy again. As much as I wish I could be the solace you need, I understand now that I'm not, and I would rather you live a thousand lifetimes without me than for you to spend an unhappy one at my side. I won't tarnish the relationship we had by forcing you to stay. I love you more than anything in this world Momoko, and I will do everything in my power to give you a long and happy life, even if that means I'm not a part of it."

There was relief, of course, but his words brought more sorrow than anything else. Momoko knew she was hurting him, and to see him so defeated didn't bring nearly as much satisfaction as she had hoped it would. All this time she had wanted him to hurt and burn and feel her pain, and from the look in his glassy eyes now, _he did._ It didn't feel as good as she had wanted it to, but she fought through that overwhelming desire to take back her request and stay for his sake. They both knew that this was the only way for her to ever have a chance at being alright again, and she would be damned if she didn't take it. After everything, she owed herself that much.

With a trembling reach, Momoko gently took the letter from his hand and held in her own, her eyes tracing over the neat signature at the bottom. No matter how much those inked lines hurt, she couldn't find it in herself to reject them. She didn't have the words yet, couldn't manage anything more than to stare down at the letter that she held in her trembling hands through the tears in her eyes, and it gave Gaara the chance to speak his last peace.

"I want you to know that even after you've gone and no matter how much time has passed, you will always be able to come back to me." Gaara said, softer now, and it drew her gaze from the letter to the tender sincerity in his pale eyes, "Even if it's been months or years, I'm never going to stop wanting you. I don't care what you do, I don't care where you go, I don't even care if you'll be with other people- if you ever decide to come back to me, I will take you as you are without hesitation. You are the only one who will ever have my heart, Momoko, and that will be so until the very end."

She let out a soft sob, sad and broken, and set the letter aside before launching herself into his arms. It was the first time since they were told about their lost child that they had been in each other's arms, and the weight of the time without sat heavy on their hearts. Gaara did not hesitate to hold her close, his eyes stinging as she wept into his chest. He held her as tight as he could with her healing wounds, and she clung to him closer than she ever had before.


	48. The Flower Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza. Here it is, the last chapter of The Flower Shop. We do have an epilogue after this but I’m still a little in shock lol. I’ll give a big long not about it after the epilogue on Sunday, but get ready for me to be REAL sad and REAL appreciative! 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and I hope to hear back from you!

"What would we have named her?"

The question was soft, shaky, barely above a whisper, and it made Gaara's heart hurt. Truthfully, he hadn't thought about it. He had only mourned, not tried to make out the details of a future they would never have. The pain of loss was too heavy for wondering- but maybe they needed this. Maybe they needed to have a clearer picture of that dream so that it would be easier to let it go. For just a moment, and for her, Gaara would indulge her.

"Karura," He said softly, and Momoko could hear the thickness of his voice, "It was my mother's name."

"Karura..." She repeated slowly, thinking the name through before going on sorrowfully, "I bet she would have had your hair."

God, this hurt- but Momoko was worth it. He would lay here and talk about their lost daughter all day, of the life they would never have together, if it meant keeping this look on her face and hearing her talk. He drank in every word she spoke, memorizing a voice he already knew by heart and burning the image of her scarred face into his memory.

"She would have had your eyes, and your smile." Gaara replied, and Momoko turned her head to look at him.

"I would have taught her to knit," He could hear how her voice had become a little strained.

"I would have watched the clouds with her," His words were tired, weak. 

Momoko rolled on her side to face him, and watched the way his eyes grew glassy as her own filled with tears.

"We would have taught her to be kind,"

"To be brave."

"To be better."

"To be _happy_."

The tears finally fell from her eyes, and Gaara's did too. 

"We would have loved her so much," Momoko said, a sob finally slipping past her lips.

"More than anything." He choked softly, just barely managing the words.

She let him hold her close as they lay there for the early hours of the morning, taking advantage of the last few hours alone together before the time came. Sakura had arrived the night before to escort her to Konoha, a sad smile on her lips as she passed through the gates, and they were set to leave this afternoon.

Things didn't much change after the transfer papers were signed, but Gaara didn't expect them to. Momoko remained an arms length away, never quite reaching for him but at the very least speaking when spoken to. He didn't push her, though, and as a man of few words himself, he could bare the silence. No words were really needed anymore, there were simply none left. All there was left to do was be together in the last few weeks that they could, and that's what they did. Momoko healed a little more in the time they waited for Sakura, and her physical therapy proved useful as she was soon able to walk again without needing to depend on her crutches. Her ankle bore the majority of the damage done, but once it had healed she was able to walk freely, if a little slowly, once again.

Despite the opposition from the council, Gaara stayed home in the days leading up to her departure. The four of them had dinner every night, trying to make the most of the time they had left. Though Temari had been as supportive as she could, her disapproval of Momoko's decision was rather clear in the way she spoke without the warmth she had taken so long to acquire. Kankuro was also rather displeased with the situation, but he did his very best to make her last few days in Suna enjoyable in any way he could. Gaara was simply there, and that was enough.

Reluctantly, they pulled themselves out of each other's arms as the sun began it's slow climb into the sky, and they began the process of the end. Momoko didn't have anything to pack, save the few articles of clothing that had been bought for her to live on until she could replenish her wardrobe. Her backpack was light and took very little time to pack, and after a long and cold shower, Momoko was finally ready to depart from the Kazekage house once and for all.

Temari said her goodbye at the house, pleasant but still a little cold, but Momoko couldn't find the strength to mourn the loss of this bond. It was a small price to pay, one that she could afford. After a few weak smiles and a stiff handshake, Momoko and the sand brothers left to meet Sakura where she waited at the gates. 

It was a heavy silence between the three of them, looming above their heads like the dark clouds that had began to gather in the sky. The weather had gotten gloomier and gloomier in the days leading up to this, as though they too were dreading this moment. It felt like the whole world had gone silent, and as much as Momoko had wished for it in the hospital, she didn't much care for it now. Not even Kankuro could find it in himself to talk much on their walk there, his own mood uncharastically sullen as the gates got closer and closer.

Gaara had no words, couldn't find them in himself just yet, and even if he did, he didn't have the strength to say them. What he felt now couldn't be put in words. How did you explain the feeling of horrible loss while still being so hopeful for someone else? Melancholy wasn't enough, bittersweet was too plain- nothing that came to mind could make sense of what he was feeling now. So he didn't try to make sense of it, instead pushed it aside to be dealt with in the therapy he had lined up for the rest of his life, and instead tried his best to focus on the woman that walked by his side and the time he had left with her.

Sakura was standing at the gates when they arrived, hardly having unpacked at all since the night before, and facing them with the same sad smile on her lips. When the group of them finally came to a stop at the gates the thick silence they had come here in weighed down on them heavier than ever.

"Are you ready?' Sakura asked softly, laying a hand on Momoko's shoulder.

She turned around to face not only the village she was leaving behind, but the people as well. Maybe she should have made a better effort to make friends while she was here, but as she stood before the two men now, she couldn't find it in herself to wish for more.

Kankuro had been an unexpected friend, someone she hadn't counted on having but ended up with nonetheless. Though he had been a little harsh in the beginning, time and kindness had turned him into one of the greatest friends Momoko had ever known without even realizing it. He had been there to make her smile, to offer her his help and avenge her and her loss. As she stood and stared at him now, at the weak smile on his lips and that bittersweet look on his face, Momoko felt for a moment how much she had grown to care for Kankuro. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, embracing him tightly. He didn't hesitate to hug her back, holding her as close as he could.

"Goodbye, Kankuro," Momoko said softly, "I'll miss you."

Tears stung at his eyes but he forced them away for the sake of this moment, to enjoy the feeling of having her in his arms for the first and last time. He didn't want to tarnish this by giving into the ache in his heart and so Kankuro kept his sorrow at bay and tried his hardest to not feel every stab of pain that this moment brought.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Peaches," He replied with a sad smile, giving her a soft squeeze, "Don't forget to write."

She pulled away, tears already welling in her eyes and beginning to fall as she stepped back and collected herself as best as she could for what would be the hardest goodbye she would ever make. Momoko stood before Gaara, who watched her with eyes she had loved for so long and a frown she had hardly known.

Goodbyes had an odd way of resolving things, if only for a moment. The past month or so had been filled with nothing but anger and sadness, unbearable loss and grief, but none of that felt very important as they stood at the gate. It was as though they had both come to terms with this decision right then, as though they had silently agreed that this had to happen and so it couldn't be debated any further. He would not ask her again to stay, and for that she was grateful.

They had thought holding each other for the last time would hurt much more than it did, but instead there was an odd sense of understanding as they stood beneath the gates in each other's arms. He had told her, in the days leading up to this, that as much as it pained him to see her go he could not help but be glad that she was putting herself above him and doing what it took to heal. She knew that no amount of relief or joy could ever dampen the ache in their hearts, but she had wept when he had said that. Even after all of her harsh words and cold behavior, Gaara still remained the loyal man she had fallen in love with, up until the very end.

Being apart was going to hurt worse than any pain he had known before, Gaara knew that, but he could not begin the process of mourning now. The years ahead would be lonely and hard, and the rest of his life would look grey in comparison to the colorful mural that had been the last year, but he did not regret it for even a moment. At least he had gotten the chance to love her at all, to hold her now and see her through until the end.

She pulled back, not completely out of his arms but enough so that she could meet his glassy gaze, and Momoko unwrapped an arm from around him so that she could lay a hand on his cheek. The sand beneath her touch crumbled away, and she had to fight back a sob as the warmth of his bare skin exposed itself to her fingers.

"I love you," He said, so softly through the rasp of his voice, and Momoko's heart ached.

"I love you, too," She replied, sadly and tenderly, saying the words for the first time since she had been rescued.

They kissed for the first time in nearly two months, their lips brushing softly against each other before firmly pressing closer. It held all the weight in the world, all the sadness of their loss and their hope for their future. They could feel every moment in that kiss, every lunch spent in his office and afternoon in her shop, every time they had lost themselves to passion and woken up in each other's arms. Every smile, every moment of wonder and heavy beat of their heart sat on their lips.

It was just a drop at first, followed by another, and then two more. But it was enough to make them pull away and look up at the dark clouds that had hung over their heads as the rain began to fall. It was the first sign of rain in a whole year, and to see it now made the group of them go silent and simply stare at the clouded sky. 

"Momoko," Sakura finally said, reluctant to cut the time between them short, "We should probably go before it gets any heavier,"

Momoko looked back to Gaara, who had long since turned his eyes back to her. They simply stared for a moment, searing their faces into memory and trying to remember features they had long since memorized. Finally, though, they stepped away.

"Thank you," Momoko said softly, "For everything,"

"I should be thanking you," Gaara replied, taking the hand from his cheek to hold it gently in his own, "I never thought I would fall in love and now I have- and I will never be able to put into words the happiness you've brought me."

The tears in her eyes had begun to mix with the rain that fell over them, but she made no move to wipe them away now. Instead she gave his hand a soft squeeze before finally slipping away.

"Goodbye, Gaara."

"Goodbye, Momoko," He said, and it took every ounce of strength in him to force his words not to break, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

She and Sakura walked a little ways, passing the gate and making it just a bit further than that before Momoko came to a sudden stop. She turned and looked back to the village, to the men who stood and watched her beneath the gate, and let herself think for just a moment about the time that had passed.

Momoko Akiyama had come here in search of a new life, of a dream she could make for herself and happiness that she was sure she'd find. She had taken an empty shell of a building and turned it into one of the most successful stores Sunakagure had ever seen, and for the months she was open the village was alive with her colorful blooms and vivid bouquets. In running away from an unhealthy relationship she found herself in the arms of someone she had loved more than anyone in this world, someone who wanted so much for her that he was willing to let her go. With his love and the joy of fulfilling her dream came herself, confidence that grew each day, and happiness beyond words. Though it was coming to an end now, Momoko could not help but rejoice that it had ever happened at all.

And though she needed to be apart from him, though he had been the source of some of the greatest pain she had ever known, Momoko felt in the bottom of her heart that she would never love someone like she loved Gaara. He had changed her for the better and given her a wonderful life for nearly every moment he was a part of it. Maybe it was too late to realize it now, as she stood and stared at him from a distance as the first rain in so long fell on them, but Momoko knew that she would never find anyone who could make her half as happy as he once had.

"Gaara!" She called out over the rain, and he startled a bit at the sound of it. For a moment, the first time since being rescued and the last time before parting ways, she smiled, small and sad and beautiful, "You're the love of my life!"

It wasn't staying, it wasn't forgiveness, but it was hope. He let out a soft breath, watery and filled with relief, and the tears that had welled in his eyes finally began to fall down his rain-soaked cheeks.

"And you're mine!" He called back in all sincerity, and Momoko couldn't help the way her heart still fluttered for him, even after all this time.


	49. Epilogue

When Gaara heard that Naruto Uzumaki was getting married, he had to sit down and catch his breath. He had sat with his hands folded in his lap, tired eyes focused down on his clean white robes, and tried his hardest to collect himself again. Gaara stared down at the envelope on his desk for what felt like hours, not wanting to open it and read the words he dreaded. He took in a deep breath, held it for a few moments, and then let it go slowly. It didn’t do much to help with the millions of dreadful thoughts that raced through his head, or the feeling of his heart caving in on itself, but it was all he could do in that moment to remain calm.

He had already decided, before opening the invitation, that he would not be attending.

Gaara pushed the invitation to the side of his desk and tried desperately to lose himself in the piles of paperwork.

“Kind of unexpected, but I’m happy for them,” Temari had commented later that same afternoon and Gaara’s appetite for the lunch in front of him was gone.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” He said quietly after a moment, staring down into his teacup.

“Why not?” Temari asked, an eyebrow raised, “I thought you’d be happy for them.”

“ _Happy_?” He repeated weakly, a furrow to his brow, “How could I be happy?”

Temari was taken back by his tone and the hurt that shone so clearly in his eyes.

“It’s not-“ She paused, trying to find the words before saying, “Did you even open the invitation?”

He was silent and that was an enough of an answer for her. Temari set her food aside and shifted through his desk before she found the unopened envelope under a few scattered papers.

“Don’t,” Gaara sighed, “I can’t-“

Despite his protesting, Temari opened the seal on the envelope and pulled out the elegant paper. She cleared her throat, skimming over words she had already read on her own invitation, before reading aloud.

“You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Naruto Uzumaki- “

“Temari-“

“ ‘and Hinata Hyuga’.”

Gaara had reached out to take the card from her but he paused halfway through, her words processing slowly. Temari met him halfway and handed him the card, and Gaara wasted little time in looking it over. He must have reread ‘Hinata Hyuga’ a thousand times, almost expecting the words to change before his eyes. 

"It surprised Kankuro and I too." Temari said reassuringly, before stating a little softer, "Listen, Gaara. There's a good chance she's going to be there, I can't promise you she won't be. But...Naruto is your friend, you should go."

He was relieved to see that Naruto was not marrying who he had feared he would, but the anxiety he had felt before had only shifted to a new thought. It was incredibly likely that they would meet again- was he ready for that? They left off on decent terms, as decent as they could have been for the situation they had been in, but that didn't mean that they were ever guaranteed to meet again. Especially so _soon_. The last few years had felt like they dragged on forever but now that he was given the chance to see her again, they felt like only seconds. Like he had just watched her fade into the distance yesterday.

"Kankuro and I are going," Temari finally said, "I think you should, too."

And he did. They sent their reply that yes, all three siblings would be in attendance, and Gaara spent the next month hardly thinking of anything else. He was happy for Naruto, of course, but the anxiety and pressure of seeing her again nearly suffocated him. What if she ignored him? (That was unlikely- or was it?)What if she had found someone else? (That was far _too_ likely, Gaara thought dreadfully). What if she just didn't want to see him at all? She could have been a completely different person for all he knew, as unrecognizable as a stranger, and it took Gaara every ounce of courage he could find to walk through the gates of Konoha when the time came.

Though the excitement of the wedding and seeing old friends took up most of his time, Gaara couldn't shake the nervousness that he felt every time he turned a corner. Since the moment he stepped through the gates he had expected to see her right in front of him, but that didn't happen. He didn't see her the first day, or the rehearsal dinner, or even at the ceremony. Someone had told him that she had been there, but from his limited view in the seat he was given towards the front on Naruto's side of the aisle, he couldn't see her. It would have been impolite to turn around in his chair and look around in the middle of the ceremony, so Gaara had to sit face forward and clench at his robes until his knuckles turned white.

The reception was held in an event hall on top of Hokage Rock, where the windows overlooked all of the village. It was a beautiful ceremony, and an even more beautiful reception. Family and old friends gathered in the large hall to celebrate the union, a moment of happiness after the dread that had come with the war, and Gaara found himself feeling more at ease than he had in awhile. It had been a hard few years, but being here surrounded by the people he had come to call friends was a pleasant change from the loneliness he had grown used to. He had almost forgotten all about her during the reception, so caught up in the happy laughter and chatter that came with weddings that she didn't cross his mind again until he had separated from the crowds to take a moment for himself outside on the balcony. Gaara leaned against the railing as he looked out over the village. It was a beautiful day and a beautiful view- perfect for a wedding.

And it made him think of her again, of the wedding they had attended together the night he confessed his love for her. He couldn't help but think their own wedding would have been something like this, filled with laughter of friends and family, beautiful and _perfect_. The thought of it made his heart give a dull throb, one he had grown rather used to in the past few years. It's the way he always felt when he thought of her, the way he would feel until the very end. Gaara was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hardly paid much mind to the sound of the glass door of the balcony opening, and the soft clicking of heels after it shut.

"You really came,"

The voice made him freeze, his whole body going stiff and his grip on the wine glass in his hand so tight it cracked. For years he had heard this voice in dreams and strained to hear it in memories, and now here it finally was after all this time. He knew this would happen, that he would see her again, but now that the moment was here it still felt like it took him by surprise. His whole body ached, knowing she was so close again and yet so far. A part of him didn't want to turn around, instead wanted to keep his back to her and avoid any further pain that could come from seeing her again.

"Gaara," She said, softly, and hearing his name so sweetly on her lips took the breath from his lungs. At the sound of it he couldn't help but reluctantly relax (if only a little), that distant but familiar warmth flooding through his heart, and he finally turned to face Momoko after so many years.

She had changed so much and yet not at all. Her hair had been kept short, brushing against the tops of her shoulders in pale waves. The scar on her forehead had healed completely, the crude kanji displayed loudly on her skin. He had expected her to bare her other scars just as plainly, but the off-shoulder straps of her tight indigo dress showed her arms had been covered with tattoos in the years apart. One arm was covered in prettily inked daisies and lisianthus, and on the other was only mapira lilies. They were placed conveniently over scars, completely covering the crude words and jagged skin in dark black ink. The tattoos gave her an edge she didn't have in the past, one that was only accented by the slight muscle mass she had seemed to gain in the last few years. She hardly looked the dainty young woman he had met, and yet she had never looked more beautiful in his eyes.

Her pale gaze stared at him the same way they had in the beginning: softly, as though she was patiently waiting for him. Despite the changes she had undergone in the years past, Gaara still thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever had the pleasure of meeting. The sight of her still made his heart race and his chest tight, and these symptoms only heightened as she stepped forward to join him, standing at his side with her own glass in hand as they overlooked the village.

Together they stood in silence, Momoko watching the village as he watched her. He drank in the sight of her freckled cheeks and pale skin as though he was dying of thirst, and soon she turned to do the same. For a while they simply stared, looking over features they had long since memorized and faces they knew by heart. Maybe they were looking for something that had changed, something that proved they weren't really themselves anymore. Enough time had passed to where they could have been strangers again at this point; however, there was no such feeling. It was a warmth that always came when being reunited with an old friend, that weightlessness of the months and years being lifted off their shoulders.

"I didn't think you would come," She admitted, and he watched her lips as she spoke.

"I almost didn't," Gaara replied, his gaze flickering up to meet hers, "I was..." He trailed off, unable to find the words right then.

"Worried?" Momoko finished for him and Gaara nodded without a word, "I ran into Kankuro on my way out here. After he squeezed the life out of me he told me that you thought I was the one marrying Naruto."

"Of course he did," He sighed softly, "I hope he wasn't too rough with you."

"It's nothing I couldn't handle," She replied, a tone in her words he had never heard before, "I think I did just as much damage hugging him back."

"You do seem a little more...athletic." Gaara commented, his eyes flickering down to her toned arms before he turned his gaze away again.

"I've been spending a lot of time with an old friend of yours, Rock Lee," Momoko replied pleasantly, "He's been teaching me how to fight."

"Fight?" He questioned, curiosity clear in his gaze.

"It's just self defense," Momoko clarified, "No ninjutsu or...genjutsu, or anything like that. But I've gotten pretty good at taijutsu- I could probably take you down." She teased, and the playfulness almost took him by surprise, but he couldn't find it in himself for even a moment to reject it. 

"Is that so?" Gaara hummed, amusement clear in his eyes.

"It is so," Momoko nodded her head, her pale eyes just a little brighter, "We'll have to spar sometime so I can prove it to you."

The implication of her words, that there would be _another_ time after this, made him smile ever so slightly. She couldn't help but stare at the sight: the soft look in Gaara's eye, the sun setting behind him and bouncing off his bright red hair so prettily. It made her heart beat heavy in her chest, just like it always did when she thought of him.

For a moment they stood and simply stared again, taking in the wonderful sight that was the other after so many years. Despite the time apart and the changes to their appearances, and the worrying they had both done in the month leading up to this, Gaara and Momoko still recognized each other. He had been worried that in finding herself again she would be unable to forgive him or come back around in the slightest, and Momoko had been concerned that he may turn her away for taking so long to meet again. There was none of that, no hostility or uncertainty, only them.

"I like your tattoos." He finally managed to speak after a few moments and nearly scolded himself for how meek he sounded.

"I wanted to cover the scars," Momoko replied softly and he nodded without a word.

Instinctively, he reached out to take her arm and bring it closer for him to see, but Gaara remembered himself before making contact. He stopped, letting his hand hang in the air, and his eyes flickered up from the ink to meet her gaze. Momoko watched him, eyes flickering down to the hand extended for her before meeting his gaze again, and soon she nodded without a word. Gently, he laid his hand on her arm and basked in the feeling of touching her again after so many years. There was no tension of the time that passed, nothing in them that said he shouldn't and couldn't be touching her; this touch came as naturally as breathing.

"Daisies for your mother," Gaara said, his throat feeling tight, "Lisianthus for your father."

The look in her eyes melted to something a little more tender. 

"And the lilies?" He asked after a moment, feeling in his heart like he knew the answer but dreading the idea of being wrong.

"Mapira," She said softly, and took his hand from her arm to hold it in her own, "For you."

Had they been in the right place and had this been the right time, he may have wept. But he didn't, instead stared at the inked lilies as his eyes began to sting, and Momoko didn't say another word as she held his hand in her own. They turned back to the village and looked out over the buildings and to the setting sun, content to simply enjoy the feeling of their hands held so tightly together.

The best thing about love is that it never truly dies, no matter what it may go through. It could dim over the years, grow weaker and duller if not nurtured, but it would never fizzle out completely. Despite all the worrying if they would be able to find each other again or if they would be able to get past their loss, what they felt now was exactly what they had felt in the very beginning. It was a small spark in their hearts, one that was only fanned into a flame as they spent the rest of the night at each other's side. They talked with friends and with each other, their eyes bright with a happiness no one had seen in them in years. All the worries of the time passed had trickled away with every small smile and sideways glance, and for the first time in a long time, Gaara and Momoko felt complete again.

Gaara watched her as she talked to his brother, how the twinkling lights of the reception made her eyes sparkle and how she almost smiled behind the rim of her glass. Her gaze shifted to him as Kankuro spoke and their eyes met for a moment. The look on her face softened just a little, and he knew the thought that ran through her mind right then, because it ran through his as well. She reached out, slipping her hand into his own and holding it gently, and Gaara smiled too.

When morning came the pale rays of sun peeked through the curtains and stirred him from his sleep, and his fingers tightened around hers for just a moment. A soft hum sounded from his lips, deep and rumbling, and Momoko had to resist the urge to kiss him as he finally woke. His eyes lazily shifted open, blurring in and out of focus, until the sight of her became very clear.

She looked like an angel with the light of the sun bouncing off her blonde hair and the pale blue of her gaze watching him tenderly. Once again, for the first time in so very long, he debated the necessity of a heaven if she was not a part of it.

The world came back to them slowly, gently, but they were content to lay naked in each other's arms for a while longer and ignore it. They held each other close, as though they hadn't just spent the whole night through touching and feeling what had once been out of reach. For a while there were no words, only their locked gaze and the relief of being in each other's arms again. When it did come time to speak, it was Gaara who did so, tender and sure.

"Marry me."

And she smiled, soft and beautiful, the way she had so many years ago, and Gaara knew she would. 


	50. Thank You!

I can't really put into words how much this story, and all of you, have meant to me.

I started this back in 2016 with no idea where to take it and no motivation to finish it. Despite this, here I am four years later finishing it with over 160,000 words (Just shy of the first two Harry Potter books combined! Wowza!) and absolutely thrilled with the story I've created. It may have been a bumpy ride at times but I am incredibly proud of the work I've done and even more proud that I got to share it with all of you.

Though the ending did come at a price, and leave on a bit of a cliffhanger, I would like to formally announce that there will be a sequel! _The Greenhouse_ will come in January of 2021 and I am thrilled to give you the description now:

_It sat untouched for 10 years: the pretty glass greenhouse in their courtyard. It had been a wedding gift from Gaara, a sweet thought and tender hope that Momoko would find herself again among the dirt and flowers. It isn't until Shinki stumbles into their lives that the greenhouse finally sees its first blooms and under his tender care, it flourishes._

I look forward to getting to share the end of their story with you in this sequel, and I hope to see your comments and support once again when the time comes!

Whether you've been here since it was first published in 2016, started reading when updates began again, or are just now tuning in, _thank you._ It's because of your continued feedback and support that I've kept the story going through to the end, and I am so grateful to each and every person who's viewed it. From the very bottom of my heart, _thank you._

I hope to see all of you again in January! For now, enjoy your holidays and have a wonderful rest of the year!

All the best!   
Olivia 💛


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